Saturday, February 20, 2010

Afternoon Bottle

I have mixed feelings about the Tiger Woods "press conference." I tend to agree with Bill Simmons' opinion and I've made no secret about how I feel about public apologies, but for those who don't know, public apologies are complete bullshit. Tiger Woods is NOT sorry. How do I know this? Because he'd probably be boning Juice's wife, or my girlfriend, or Richard by now. Someone who's sorry doesn't call one of his SEVERAL mistresses on Thanksgiving and tell her to erase his name from her cell phone and also inform her Elin is checking his phone. This is not a situation where he's sorry for chucking his dick all over the place. He's sorry he got caught. Plain and simple. Move on, Elin.

I watched a Dateline type show the other night about Tiger's secret life. It had an in-depth interview with one of his skanks, and she really did look like a skank, but I'm not here to judge. She's probably a wonderful person. After seeing this program I got a slightly different view of the situation. Tiger wasn't roaming the countryside fucking everyone he saw. He was actually involved in actual relationships with a lot of these women. They were falling in love with him. These weren't one night stands. And from what I understand he wasn't spending a whole lot of money on these women which leads me to one conclusion. Tiger must have a monster crank.

I don't get to see much of the Olympics but I have seen a large amount of curling, and, curling is awesome. I even bet $5 on the USA and they lost because a dude choked on the last throw, which eventually happened in 4 straight matches making the USA 0-4. Hockey is still great too.

AN INVITE (of sorts)

Richard and I are planning on possibly spending a romantic weekend in La Crosse together on the weekend of March 5th. Would anyone be interested in joining us, Juice and Schmock? Bring wives, I don't care. My significant other is not going at this point due to work issues, but if Mrs Juice and Mrs Schmock would go she might try to get off work. Basically, I've missed the last two Saturday all day drinking days in La Crosse (Oktoberfest and snow volleyball). I would like to make up for it.

14 comments:

Schmock40 said...

Mrs. Schmock and I are free that weekend. If your serious about this, we're in. Where are you thinking about staying? What are your plans for this romantic weekend?

The Sports Bottle said...

I'm definitely serious and I'm about 99.9% I'm going. Depending on how many people go, I'll either stay at Hose's or get a hotel room. I think the hotel sounds better.

Juicelaw said...

I would LOVE to go. But I wouldn't be able to get there until like 4pm on Saturday, which probably doesn't make it worth it at all. Especially if you are drinking all day on Saturday.

FUCK TAXES.

ricky said...

4:00 on Saturday would probably be fine. Since it is not actually snow volleyball or Oktoberfest my guess is we will not be blacked out by 4. Drinking may or may not commence before then, but we would probably at least remember you showing up at 4.

The Sports Bottle said...

I agree with Richard. My drinking will definitely start before then, but I'll keep Richard in check. I'm aiming for my first drink before noon and a large amount of bar hopping.

Juicelaw said...

I will think about it. I'm just not sure if I can physically handle a 65 hour work week followed by 3 hours of driving, followed by 10 hours of drinking, 6 hours of drunk sleep and 3 more hours of driving. I'm not sure even La Crosse and Richard's sweet, sweet starfruit can make it worth it. But more convincing might help....

The Sports Bottle said...

Dude, it'll be totally worth it. It'll still be light outside when you get there, and nothing is better than drinking when the sun is up. The drive there isn't bad at all, I actually enjoy it. The drive back always sucks, but once you're home it's all good.

And Schmock, I have no real plans for the romantic weekend. I'll be drinking. And I'm going to eat a pickeled egg, that's about all I have planned. Hopefully I'll be drinking very early on Saturday, but at a medium pace.

Juicelaw said...

I'm at half mast, but my wife (who bless her heart, cares about my health alot more than I do) isn't going to be crazy about the idea (although I bet you she would drive). If Schmock and Mrs. Schmock and Sports Bottle's girlfriend are definitely in, that would help. Because if Mrs. Schmock, Sports Bottles girlfriend, and Mrs. Juice all got drunk together again (ala Mark's wedding) they might plow.

Juicelaw said...

And you guys have to promise not to die at 10 p.m. either.

The Sports Bottle said...

I never die at 10pm.

I don't know if my g/f can get off work. It seems like a long shot at this point.

Juicelaw said...

Ricky is dead just thinking about next weekend. Someone pack him some floaties

Ricky said...

So unfortunately I am now out. I have learned that Don's girlfriend is throwing a surprise birthday party for him. So have fun to all that go, otherwise maybe another weekend would work for everyone.

The Sports Bottle said...

You homo. I got the invite on Facebook and wondered if you would go.

If my g/f can get off work I'll still be going. Hopefully Schmock and Mrs Schmock will still go.

Juicelaw said...

I was informed that I was not going. It was a horrible, horrible idea anyway (for me).

I would like to go sometime after April 15th (but not that first weekend after because I have a surprise b-day party for my bosses wife which is gay).