Beatdowns, Hidden Messages and Fake Waterparks

WISCONSIN 78, INDIANA 46

Jesus. I need to start out with that embarrassment of the artist formerly known as IU in Bloomington last night. Indiana is really, really awful. I am SHOCKED that they have won any Big Ten games. They seem far worse to me than Penn St or Iowa. Not only are they not very talented, but they can't shoot, and consistently dribble off of their feet. I will give them credit for not quitting, they are at least a little scrappy, even when down by like 100.

Back in the not so distant past, a win at Indiana did not seem possible. There was a time where Bucky had lost like 40 in a row there or something. Bucky is pretty good this year, but still. That game was almost unfair. I heard on SportsCenter (who is always right) that it was the worst loss at home in NINETY SIX YEARS!!! When you do something to someone worse than it has been done to them in 96 years, you really kicked the shit out of them.

Two other things about last night: 1) The camera followed Tom Crean a little extra long after he got ejected last night, and you could see him shoulder check the locker room door into a wall. And screaming obscenities to himself in the tunnel. He was PISSED. Had it stayed about 10 more seconds, you may have seen him destroy the locker room through the crack in the door. It was pretty great. I still dislike Tom Crean. 2) I think Bo Ryan does too. I feel like he put a little extra hot sauce on this beat down. Is it a carry over from the days of shady backroom recruiting deals made by Crean to steal players from UW while he was at Marquette? Hard to say, but when you leave your starters in until 1:28 left in a 31 point game, I think it is pretty safe to say that Bo was trying to prove a point. That point? Don't fuck with a dude that literally looks like a Badger.

FAKE WATERPARKS

I'm being forced to go to a fake water park with my nieces and nephew (3 and 2 years old I think), and my in-laws. I say it is a fake waterpark because it is in Wisconsin, and it is the middle of winter. I'm envisioning one waterslide in a hotel. It is in a hotel, so I'm halfway there. I really like my in-laws as a general rule, but I dislike hanging out in disease infested hotel waterparks. Especially after working my ass off (surfing the Internets) all week. At least I can stuff my face with snack food and get drunk. Anyone know any good bars in Waupaca? Maybe I will get blacked out and drown some stranger's kid. That would be a tragedy.

BREWERS-CUBS

I got in on a "second chance" to buy Brewers-Cubs tickets yesterday. I got an email at like 8 a.m. that I could log on at 10. I didn't exclude anyone, but I was only allowed to buy 4 tickets, and I couldn't get more than two together. My brother and I are going in September, when the Brewers will be 10 games out of a playoff spot (assuming Soup makes the rotation because of his contract over about six other pitchers that are clearly better than him). I'm calling it the second annual Brother Trip to Miller Park Where One Brother Purchases Nosebleed Tickets In a Section With 98% FIBS and Sips Beer While Watching the Other Brother Try Not To Get Into a Fight for Three Plus Hours. Last year there were approximately 35 ejections in our section. We also saw a chick fight on the way out, and the lights went out at Miller Park.

It is a 6:10 first pitch, which gives FIBS plenty of time to get up at their usual 2 p.m., put in hair gel, pop their collars over the top of their $80 Cubs T-shirts, put on their $400 Yves St Laurent aviators, hop into the BMW SUV's that their parents bought them for high school graduation,
get to the stadium by 5, have two cosmos, and be belligerent fighting guy by 6.