Thursday, February 18, 2010

Gold Medal Juice

A few thoughts on the Olympics so far...

-My vote for the most entertaining winter Olympic sport has to be short track speed skating. It is fucking riveting. At any second, someone can randomly wipe out, taking a bunch of other dudes with him. And watching Apollo Ohno race is fascinating. It seems like he isn't even trying, and then will just pass everyone from the back when he feels like it.

-The women's downhill was awesome too. And it was awesome because three chicks fell in the most horrendous way possible. I am no doctor, but I'm not exactly sure how they didn't die. One of the women fell, was sliding face first at what looked like 50 mph, then hit a bump and went flying in the air about 20 feet, and smashed her head on the hill when she came down, before sliding lifelessly another 500 or so feet. It was unreal. For all the concern about concussions when football players bounce their head off the turf, I bet there are a shitload of downhill skiers that have a hard time dressing themselves when they are 30. I'm too lazy to find the crashes (and I'm sure NBC won't let anyone post them anyplace) but they are riveting and you should check them out.

In the end, Lindsey Vonn won. And she was fucking annoying as shit about it. They had her miked up or something afterwards and you could hear her making some awful noise that I can best describe as moaning, for like 10 minutes afterwards. I imagine it is the same noise you would make if you watched your dog get run over by an 18 wheeler. That, and she has a really, really annoying voice. And her husband (I think) and her were having some kind of intimate moment with the mic between them, and it was 1) awkward and 2) sort of fake and creepy. I hope I never converse with my wife that way. She has every right to be happy and emotional, I would just prefer to watch it on mute from now on.

-Shaun White is unfuckingbelievable. It is too bad there aren't like 10 different half pipe snowboarding events, because he would win 10 gold medals. The event was like watching Michael Jordan play basketball against high schoolers. I don't understand the tricks or snowboarding stuff at all, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was better than everyone else it was insane. And he is both entertaining and seems like a genuinely cool guy.

-Finally, America will never be truly equal until it is no longer bizarre or unusual to see a black speed skater, figure skater or swimmer. Or a white basketball player. Shani Davis is good.


Bear said...

Let's see, agree, agree, agree, agree, no opinion

Pretty much spot on, there was some epic biffs in that downhill

gotwinkies said...

Fantastic post. My only disagreement would be about Shaun White being a "geniunely cool guy." He seems cocky and annoying as crap. Let's face it, if you went to high school with him, you would have hated him. At least that is the vibe I get from him. He's like one of those kids that was a really good golfer in high school and conisdered himself a great "athlete".

Bear said...

Plus he's a ginger

Juicelaw said...

He is a ginger. And he is probably annoying. But he is probably only annoying because he is high as fuck and can't stop giggling.

And I would submit that if you are as good as he is at snowboarding, you have earned the right to conisder yourself a great athlete. Just like Tiger Woods can call himself a great athlete/dude that fucks alot of chicks.