Atari, Hart, Dez, Madden, Zombies

Three thoughts:

First, what the fuck is Atari Bigby's problem? First, he screws around trying to get some kind of long term, lucrative deal from the Pack, because he is upset that he got screwed out of unrestricted free agency. He might have been rightfully pissed, but if his agent and his union had been doing their job, they could've avoided whatever surprise there was and tried to get something worked out before he got screwed. So he doesn't sign his RFA tender, and nobody offers him more money, because he was half injured, half not very good last year. The Packers go out and draft Morgan Burnett, who is probably his replacement. Rather than react to this drafting by signing his tender, showing up to offseason workouts and trying to stop Burnett from taking his job, he drags things out even longer, eventually getting even LESS money because the Packers reduced his tender after nobody else could sign him anyway. Then he signs like the week before training camp, and shows up with an injury and fails his physical. What exactly was the thinking here? Its like he kept it a secret all summer because the Packers doctors hadn't seen him since last January. Was he rehabbing it correctly? What was he doing exactly? Now Burnett is going to get reps with the ones until Bigby gets healthy. Thanks Atari.

Second, I'm not thrilled that the Crew hasn't made any moves. Maybe they didn't get offered enough. I don't have a big problem not shipping Fielder if the offers weren't great. But Hart can't be worth that much can he? I hope it was the injury that hampered this and not the Crew looking to get blown away. This has opened the door for a August/September where Corey remembers he's Corey and hits .210 with 3 HRs. And then they get nothing in the winter for Hart.

I'm going on record as being glad that Dez Bryant got hurt. Why has everyone just jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon all of a sudden? Not that the Packer's bandwagon isn't full. But the Cowboys did virtually nothing but draft Bryant, and suddenly they are the favorites. Shouldn't the Saints be considered favorites? Maybe the Queens if He comes back? I don't know why I have a problem with people thinking the Cowboys are good. Perhaps because I hate them and their fans are douchebags. That might be it.

Madden 11 comes out in 10 days. I downloaded the demo. It was fun. I will buy it. I'm almost 30.

I watched Zombieland last night. Fucking spectacular. One of the better movies I've seen in awhile. Best Abigail Breslin performance by far.

Every Time I Think I'm Done....

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Weekend Musings

-Happy 2006 every one! I officially became the last human being to join facebook yesterday. It really is an ingenious machine. What is great is that I've been on it for a day and I've already ignored two friend requests. And my mom made me here friend within 30 seconds of me signing up. Needless to say, it is going to be alot more G rated than this blog is. Hence the anonymous name. I was mildly obsessed about it for about a half day yesterday, but the excitement has worn off. I'm that guy. Now if I could just get an iPhone, I would be as cool as SportsBottle.

-I came to the realization that the past two days was the first time all season that I didn't see/follow/hear at least one pitch of back to back Brewer games. Yes, they are officially done. Also, of course Corey Hart dove into the wall and hurt himself. Thank you to Doug Melvin for screwing this one up by standing around playing with himself while we have a guy that is clearly playing out of his mind that needs to be traded now.

-My brother called me yesterday to tell him that a random co-worker of his told him that Prince was traded to the White Sox for Gavin Floyd, Gordon Beckham and a prospect. I immediately went online and couldn't even find a rumor of this. This person is an idiot.

-Seriously, football needs to start like yesterday.

-I toured the facilities for the site of the OJSFA draft on August 14th last night. I was impressed. It was nicer than I thought it would be. Mark's dog nearly ate me though. Who is going to be the first to feed it booze?

-Madden is coming out on August 10th. I will be at the store purchasing it. Allegedly they made it so you can play whole games in half the time now. Not sure how that works. But I'm excited. And I'm 29.

Annual "My Wish" Rant

Look. I don't know where anyone got the idea that I hate cancer kids. Because I don't. Their lives are horrible, and nobody should have to go through what they go through, especially at that age. (If you smoke a pack a day despite overwhelming evidence that it is horrible for you and you are probably going to get cancer, then I feel a little less bad for you). I think the fact that ESPN and the Make-a-Wish Foundation and the athletes that volunteer to make wishes come true for cancer kids are great.

But please. Don't put that shit on my fucking T.V. I typically watch parts of three SportsCenters a day. Usually about 15 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, and maybe 15 to 30 minutes at 5. And this entire week, I've managed to turn it on right as some cancer kid is playing outside linebacker for the Raiders, or doing wheelies on 4 wheelers. Regardless of whether that kid could start for the Raiders (he could). I really don't need to see this shit on my T.V. It is completely and totally self-indulgent for ESPN to put this on SportsCenter every day. There is no reason for it. This isn't that different than LeBron dragging the Boys and Girls Club kids into "The Decision". If you want to put it on your station, fine. Have a three hour special, advertise the shit out of it, turn it into some kind of telethon to raise money. But don't waste 75% of my highlight watching time for a week every summer. It just makes me angry. And I hate "THIS ISSSSSS MYYYYYYY WIIIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHH!" The song makes me want to murder someone. It has clearly replaced "This Is Our Country" as the least favorite theme song ever.

You make me watch enough pointless shit already ESPN. This is due to the fact that you are mostly good at what you do. Or you at least have the money to control all sports media. But I would rather watch 20 minutes of rumors about He Who Shall Not Be Named and his fake thinking about his fake injury every day than watch cancer kids suffer. Stop.

Jerry Kramer Is Not In the Hall of Fame?!?!?

How did I not know this? That is one of the more insane things that I've ever heard. How does a guy who was named to the NFL All-Decade team of the 1960's, and the NFL's 50th Anniversary Team, not also be a Hall of Famer? I'm just confused. I know that it is pretty hard to put numbers on Offensive Lineman, but how can you be widely considered to be one of the best at your position for an entire decade, yet not make the Hall of Fame? He's not the only one, but I don't care about Howard Mudd. What makes him not Hall worthy when Forrest Gregg and Jim Ringo are? (Answer: probably slightly longer careers and therefore a few more All-Pro selections).

But Google "Jerry Kramer Hall of Fame" and notice that there are about 1,000 articles that discuss how messed up this is, and that he is widely considered to be the best player not in the Hall of Fame. This got me thinking: What other really good 1960s Packers aren't in? Two that came to mind looking at that particular All-Decade team are Dave Robinson and Boyd Dowler. I just don't get how you can be the best at your position for an entire decade but not be a Hall of Famer. I guess it is possible. But most of those players weren't part of the above picture, which should cement it.

The $10 movie rental

Yeah, I don't have Netflix. So last night I downloaded the HD version of "Avatar" on PS3 to watch. So I pay the $5.99, which I wouldn't normally do, but I figured the $2 extra was worth it on this movie. So I pay for it, and go to download it, and my PS3 informs me that there isn't enough hard drive space. To show how little I know, it turns out that an HD movie takes up somewhere in the neighborhood of 40GB of space, while standard definition takes up something like 15GB. And I have a 20GB PS3. It was nice of them to charge me first before they informed me that I was an idiot. Fuck me. Now, I had to either pay another $4 for the standard version, or not watch a movie. I paid the money. It was still like $20 cheaper than going to the theater I guess. The movie was alright. Not awful. I probably wouldn't watch it again or anything unless it was on TV. The moral of the story is that I'm kind of dumb.

Oh, and fuck Bobby Cox. If I were Jason Hayward, I would go to the plate with body armor on today.

Well Worth 10 Minutes (NSFW, Language, Fighting Pregnant Chicks/Burger King)

Video Titled: "Pregnant in Oakland Parking Lot Brawl (dude wrecks prego ho)" Seriously. Good times. But yeah. Also involved? No pants, throwing baby seats, pit bulls and people hitting police officers riding motorcycles with cars. I'm fairly certain this is in the United States in 2010. Oh, and the written recap is spectacular. If you are going to do anything today. Go somewhere that allows F-words and Ebonics and enjoy.

Whatever Comes To Mind

Today is without a doubt, the worst day of the year in sports. There is NOTHING on. Say what you want about baseball, but at least it provides and excuse to look at your fantasy lineup. Today there is NOTHING. I'm for sure not watching the shitty ESPYs. There is nothing on TV. My DVR is blank. Maybe I can read a book? I dunno. Whatever it is isn't going to be fun. The NFL needs to be 365 days a year. And thank (Sports Bottle's) god for British Open and baseball tomorrow.

Speaking of the NFL. The stuff surrounding the Packer's financials, and the background of a separate dispute between owners scares the shit out of me. I'm fairly certain I can't survive a season (or more) without the NFL. Please get this worked out.

Charles Woodson. Defensive Player of the Year. Heisman winner. Life saver. Pretty awesome.

A lot of Corey Hart/Prince Fielder/Rickie Weeks rumors and rumblings. I've heard enough idiots talk about this in Green Bay. Here is another idiot talking about them. Let's do it bullet form, one by one shall we?

-Corey Hart: He's gotta go. The value will never be higher. Take this from a guy who has watched about every game for the last three years. He will hit .200 in August. Mark it down. If you can get anything useful (4 or 5 starter, or a high reward lower-level prospect with #2-ish potential) do it. We don't have anyone great to replace him right now, but OF are generally not that hard to find. We need help in the rotation now, but it is a little unclear if Milwaukee is truly going to contend next season by just adding an above average starter. Especially if they trade...

-Prince Fielder: It is unclear whether the Crew will trade him now or not. I think he has the most value right now, because whatever team gets him is getting him next year too (where they could trade him for value if they tank later). He's got a ton of value overall. I gotta think some team will grossly overpay for him. Also, the Crew has a less than 0% chance of keeping him beyond next year. We are basically the Toronto Raptors with Chris Bosh prior to this offseason. The Crew needs to be careful, because we need something of impact this season or next. I just don't think we can possibly afford to screw around a whole lot and end up with nothing. We have no clear replacement at 1B in the system, but 1B is not an overly difficult position to play on defense (see Prince Fielder), and any good bat will do. I've heard Braun or Gamel to 1B thrown around. Either could adequately replace Fielder's D you would think.

-Rickie Weeks: Are they offering him up? Lots of conflicting reports. On one side, I think we kind of know what we are going to get with Weeks. He is a decent hitter, with decent power, at a position that isn't generally very strong on offense. His defense is below average, and he has the incredible ability to lean into pitches. Because of the position he plays, his offense is a much bigger asset than similar numbers from Corey Hart are in RF. This is because there are very few good hitting 2B. Coincidentally, it appears we have another good bat at 2B in AA in Brett Lawrie. But he's not ready yet. At this point, I think you have to hang onto Weeks until next year at the very least unless you get blown away. The Crew isn't in rebuilding mode exactly. There are some pieces that could compete for a playoff spot at least.

Alot of what happens in the next few weeks is going to hinge on what happens with Prince. If they trade him, I don't see the playoffs next year, and at that point prospects for he and Hart make more sense than guys who are average MLB players that could contribute immediately. But maybe someone will blow us away for immediate, young contributors. It will be interesting to watch at least.

I Hate Watching Dave Bush Pitch...

..And I am lucky enough to get to "see" him tomorrow. I took the liberty of putting "see" in quotes, because I'm hoping to be seeing double by the time the first pitch is thrown. If my performance last year at this event (and I do believe this is turning into an annual event) is any indication, things are going to get sloppy. Sports Bottle is hosting the event, which coincides with his girlfriends' birthday. I just hope that her family and friends are as accepting of me as she is. I assume she wouldn't have allowed Sports Bottle to invite me if she wasn't. Especially since every time I've met her I've been pretty super drunk.

I don't want to make any promises, but I certainly am not going to rule out lobbing a few f-bombs at nearby six year olds. My modest goal is to make it to the end of the game without blacking out, and being functional enough to go to a bar afterwards. Last year? Not so much.

I will make one prediction. I don't think the birthday girl makes it back to the car after the game without vomiting. I'm throwing it out there. That is a pretty long window if we get there at 3 and don't leave until 9 or 10. There is a pretty decent chance that someone will bring a random bottle of shitty booze to do shots off of, or there will be a beer bong or shotgun or something that can make someone puke even if they aren't shitfaced. Remember Sports Bottle, it is her birthday. Be nice. And good luck with that.

So back to Bush. For some reason, he pitches in 75% of the games I go to. And his wind up makes me physically ill. That stupid pause drives me crazy. And he generally gets smashed all over the yard, except for the time I saw him pitch 8 innings of shutout ball. I predict drunken boos from Miller Park.

The Plane Has Crashed Into The Mountain

"This team is toast."--Tom Hardicourt. I really couldn't have said it better. Pity poor Hardicourt for being forced to watch this shit on a daily basis. At least I can change the channel. He ends the article with "They are embarrassing themselves." Wow.

On the bright side, guess who's not going to work, but going to Miller Park with a bunch of drunken factory workers? This guy! And who is going to a game on Saturday? This guy! And who is going to the second annual Brewers-Cubs, try not to get murdered because not only are the FIBs drunk, but they are also bitter because the Cubs are somehow worse than the Brewers, game in September. Wheeeee!

Seriously, fucking trade Corey Hart right this fucking instant. And listen REALLY hard on Prince. That is all.

LEBRON

Like I'm not watching that shit tonight. Although "sources" have already leaked that he is going to the Heat. Although it has already been definitively reported that he was going to Chicago, New York and Cleveland this week too, so I don't take alot of stock in "sources". Also, whoever wrote the article on ESPN.com that I didn't read that said that this was worse than anything He Who Shall Not Be Named has done to America, is an idiot. Le Bron hasn't done this six straight years.

Early OJSFA Picks

So Bear and T.J. both kept 2 WRs and a RB. One of the WR names is Sidney Rice (not related to Jerry Rice). Good luck when He Who Shall Not Be Named obviously retires. Also, Bear left two time MVP Tom Brady, LeSean McCoy and Brandon Marshall unprotected (fuck his team was good).

The draft rolls on.

Some Day, There Will Be Some Lucky Kid (Maybe)...

To the surprise of nobody, I am probably not father material. This is further evidenced by yesterday, when speaking to a good friend of mine about meeting up for dinner, I asked: "Are you bringing the kid?" Immediately my wife burst out laughing. There was a short bout of silence and laughing on the other end of the phone. The kid? Not her or him. But IT.

Here's the thing. I asked for a valid reason. I didn't want to pick someplace to eat that a kid couldn't go to. And I've never met this particular kid, so I'm not certain what it can handle. So I felt like it was a valid question, even if worded awkwardly.

Plus, I don't know what those things eat. And I felt like I needed to pick a place in a good neighborhood so nobody stole it while it was in the car while we were inside eating.

I am going to apologize in advance for accidentally stepping on the kid at dinner tonight.

Super Bowl Or DIE?!?!?

I like it. Nick Barnett is a bad man.

More Nightmares and an Interesting Debate

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Bucks make their Free Agency move!

So the Bucks have been one of the earliest movers in this year's off season, they've made a few trades to bring in CDR and Corey Maggette and now they've struck one of the first deals in the free agency market by signing Drew Gooden to a 5 year, 32 million dollar contract. I like the contract's monetary value, not necessarily the length... 3 years, 20 million would have sat a lot better with me. Gooden is the epitome of NBA journeyman, he's been on about 6 teams in the last 3 years. I'm not sure what the logic behind this was, after we drafted 3 big men and already have Ilyasova. My major hope? This was the first step of a multi phased plan that Hammond has to make a trade to steal some players from teams looking to dump cap room for this monster FA season. Ilyasova's contract is very tempting for his value vs cap hit, so maybe Hammond is planning on using Gooden as a stop gap while the guys he drafted get NBA-ready and dealing Ersan.

Did I just use the term multi phased plan as if to insinuate that John Hammond was some sort of evil genius? You bet your ass I did. Fear the Deer.

Free Agent-mares

I had vivid dreams about NBA free agency last night. The dreams were so intense for some reason, that I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all. And I don't know why. Its not like the Bucks are going to sign LeBron. I legitimately think that the possibility of LeBron and Wade playing together is so fascinating to me, that I couldn't wait to find out. Of course, I woke up and realized two things 1) The NBA isn't that great, and draft/free agency are the two best parts. The season itself is boring. 2) The NBA I guess cares about rules, unlike the NFL when guys sign $100 million dollar contracts 30 seconds after midnight, when there is no way you could even read a contract that long, or even sign it, that quickly, because nobody had done shit by 6am. To be continued I guess.

BREW CREW HANGOVER

Lost two of three to the Astros. Can we stop this charade of pretending we are going to make up a 9 game deficit? Because the Astros are really bad. Thank You.