Quick Championship Weekend Preview

It sucks both games are on Sunday. They really should stretch this thing out over two days. Also, UW tried and failed to schedule their weekend game during the football games for the 12th time in 13 weeks, but the NFL tricked them by starting the first game on Sunday at 2:30 instead of Noon. So only half of the UW-Penn St. game (1:30) will be on at a time when nobody that is not an immediate family member of a player will be watching. I think I could double their ratings if I was in charge of Big Ten scheduling.

Picks:
Last Week: 3-1
Playoffs: 4-4
Season: 117-118-4
All-Time: 251-244-6

COLTS/JETS

Super Bowl III rematch! Except that at least 50% of the players involved are dead and the other 50% are so messed up from long term football injuries that they don't remember the game! Except Joe Namath, who's steady diet of booze and vag chemically altered his brain cells and proved a cure for concussions. I like watching the Jets D play, and Rex Ryan is crazy. I just don't see Payton Manning losing this. He is a cyborg. Even though the game should end up being relatively close, I still feel like the Jets are maybe a slightly worse version of the Ravens on offense. And the Ravens put up 3 points last week. I like the Colts (-7.5).

VIQUEENS/UNITED STATES' TEAM

My feelings and rooting interests are well documented. REALLY well documented. The Saints are better on offense than anything the Vikings have faced all year. They can run and pass. The key I think is keeping Brees upright. The Vikes got to ROMO last week, but IN MY MIND, THE COWBOYS RECEIVERS SUCK, AND THE O-LINE WAS A DISASTER. Brees HAS RIDICULOUS RECEIVERS, AND A COMPETENT, UNINJURED O-LINE. Brees ALSO has BETTER accuracy, and BETTER coaches THAN ROMO. If Brees doesn't get Jared Allen's bloody/hairy gash rubbed in his face, I don't think I care what the Vikings do on offense (and I do think they will score). He Who Shall Not Be Named has done nothing to lead anyone to believe he will shit himself and throw a bunch of picks. But historically, he has done just that in every playoff appearance since 1999. The Saints are not particularly good on defense, and don't match up well with the Vikings, but Darren Sharper plays a mean center field, and I feel like he is good for at least one pick of his "friend" (note: He had no friends, because he is a prick. On his first opportunity, He would fuck Sharper's wife and molest his kids.) I like the Saints (-3.5). GEAUX SAINTS!! (ED. NOTE: I never said these previews weren't incredibly biased and highly prejudicial.)