Monday, January 10, 2011

Fake Championship Belts!

PACKERS

Fucking ridiculous win yesterday. I died twice, and was brought back to life thanks to the defibrillator I bought at Shopko Express before the game yesterday. I came to just in time to see Tramon pick off the Vick pass and then almost celebrate his way to a loss. That was fucking scary, but I didn't realize it while it was happening until Charlie Peprah tackled him at the four. Defense did a tremendous job.

Offense was solid enough, especially James "DNP-Coach's Decision" Starks. If he isn't inactive next week (seriously, enough, he is the best RB on our active roster. Give him every opportunity. Spell him with B-Jax on third down, and sprinkle in a Kuuuuuuuhn carry), he could be a big difference maker.

James Jones is lucky the Packers won, or his house might have been burned down. That was terrible. He has not earned Donald Driver status where he can drop two passes a game and everyone still loves him.

I have a lot of confidence in the Pack next week. Atlanta has better defense and is more fundamentally sound perhaps, but they lack the explosion and danger that Philly has. I fully expect our defense to shut the Falcons down. The last meeting came down to special teams, and we lost. While I would be an idiot if I was confident in our special teams, I just have a feeling in this one.

BEARS

Fuck. You. Bears. The Seahawks? Really? The following things happened on the "NFC North Champion" Chicago Bears schedule this year: Wk1 (W v. Detroit after Calvin Johnson caught a TD pass and the officials disagreed even after a review confirmed that it was in fact a TD), Wk2 (Beat Dallas when Wade Phillips was still coach), Wk 4 (L v. NYG, Cutler sacked 39 times on national TV and gets hurt), Wk 5 (W v. Carolina, luck into playing the worst team in the league in the week you have no QB), Wk 6 (L v. Seattle), Wk 7 (L v. Washington), Wk 9 (W v. a really bad Buffalo team), Wk 10 (W v. really bad Viking team), Wk 11 (W v. Miami and their 3rd fucking string QB Tyler Thigpen), Wk 13 (W v. Detriot and Drew Stanton, their 3rd string QB), Wk14 (raped by New England at home), Wk 15 (the only good thing they did, end He Who Shall Not Be Named's Career, and then played 3 1/2 quarters against Joe "3rd String QB" Webb).

That is THREE third string QBs, and wins against Carolina and Buffalo. And now they get a fucking 8-9 team in the second round of the playoffs. Horseshoe up their collective asses.

WAR EAGLE!!

I somehow have $90 riding on this fake ass championship game tonight. So I need Auburn to win. So I guess I have a reason to root and watch intently. Forgot to mention that if Oregon wins, Sports Bottle wins the $90 to put towards the fourth of his 17 tropical vacations this year.

By the way, if you need a reason to hate the BCS, read "Death to the BCS". I did. I'm angry. It makes me even more angry when cocsuckers like Bill Hancock says shit like "we are more likely to go back to the old bowl system than a playoff if you people don't stop yelling at us about the BCS." OF COURSE you are more likely to go back to the old system. Because the cocksuckers in charge (commissioners of the Big Six Conferences) control all of the good bowls! So they will keep making money either way! And really, they don't give a shit about money or they would have a playoff. They want power. The book isn't the best book I've ever read, but it is very interesting. And I'm officially convinced to convert the Get Together to a 16-team tournament, with all games except the championship at the higher seed. Still all the conference champs get in.

So War Fuckin' Eagle!! ( I just hope I don't have to give the money back in 5 years when they take this fake championship away after they find the pictures of Cam Newton and Tim Tebow doing blow off of strippers tits).

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