Former NBA players who can no longer walk normally

So apparently Rodney Rogers was paralyzed in an ATV accident recently. This really isn't very news worthy, crap like this happens all the time, the fact that Rogers once was a star in the NBA shouldn't make it newsworthy. And I guess when I say star I mean he played there for more than 4 seasons. However it struck me as odd that on the same day that article was on the front page of espn.com, this article was as well.

I guess the lesson for everyone here is: If you were a mediocre star in the NBA during the 90's, don't take your ability to walk for granted.

Fake Gambling and the "Williams Wall"

Last Week: 13-3!!!!

Overall: 94-94-4 (Don't call it a comeback bitches!)

Oak (+9), Chi (-6.5), Min (NL), Hou (+5.5), Ten (-14), Ind (-13.5), Atl (+3), NYG (-6.5), Den (-9), Mia (+1), NYJ (-4), NE (-4.5), Ari (-14), Pit (-3), Bal (-5), Car (-3)

I don't know if those fat dudes from Minnesota are going to play again or not. Even though they were granted their temporary injunction, it doesn't seem to me that their "The NFL didn't tell us" argument is bullshit. If 50% of the players in the league had this problem, I might buy it, but SIX tested positive, meaning that the Williamses were doing something that isn't particularly common in the first place. Plus, from what I've read, the NLFPA bargained for this testing policy, and the policy is "you are responsible for what you put in your body". I would ALMOST feel bad for them if a) they didn't play for an arch rival and b) they have a gay nickname.

Now, the question is, assuming they don't play, does this give the Packers a better chance in the division? I have been shocked by the number of locals that are convinced that this is the case. My thoughts: I don't think it hurts to have Minnesota playing short handed. But even if Minnesota goes 1-3 (because we all know they won't lose to Detroit even if the Williamses wives start at D-tackle), that means the Packers have to go 3-1 (including a win over Chicago), and hope Chicago goes 2-2. Would it shock me? No. But I think the hardest part of that equation is to have the Packers win all those games. Even though they have a favorable-ish schedule, I don't have particular confidence in them stringing wins together. They've shown me nothing to make me think they have that ability.

In other news, my fucking goddaughter's mother scheduled a birthday party at 2:30 p.m. next Sunday, which is directly in the middle of the Packers-Jags game. I fucking hate inconsiderate people. Its not like you don't live in the area, and aren't aware that the Packer season is in full swing. Christ.

Finally, last college basketball season, I had Time Warner Cable. The advantage was that I had ESPNU, which allowed me to see like 3 Creighton games. But I had no Big10 Network, which forced me to not see like 20 UW games. This year I have Dish, so my situation is opposite....And now fucking UW-Marquette is on ESPNU, and there has been exactly ONE game on Big10. Sucks. My. Balls. It will be me and my clock radio Saturday night I guess.

Final Worthless, Uninformed Top 25 and JDDNFGT Details!

Rank(BCS)Record(Last Week)

1)(1)Alabama 12-0(1)
2)(3)Texas 11-1(3)
3)(2)Oklahoma 11-1(7)
4)(6)Utah 12-0(2)
5)(9)Boise St. 12-0(4)
6)(4)Florida 11-1(9)
7)(12)Ball St. 12-0(6)
8)(7)Texas Tech 11-1(8)
9)(8)Penn St. 11-1(5)
10)(5)USC 10-1(12)
11)(10)Ohio St. 10-2(10)
12)(11)TCU 10-2(11)
13)(13)Cincinnati 10-2(14)
14)(16)Georgia 9-3(13)
15)(18)BYU 10-2(15)
16)(14)Oklahoma St. 9-3(16)
17)(NR)Tulsa 10-2(22)
18)(19)Oregon 9-3(NR)
19)(20)Missouri 9-3(17)
20)(15)Georgia Tech 9-3(NR)
21)(21)Michigan St. 9-3(20)
22)(22)Northwestern 9-3(21)
23)(NR)Rice 9-3(24)
24)(NR)Western Michigan 9-3(19)
25)(NR)Oregon St. 8-4(18)

Dropped Out: Central Michigan (23), Boston College (25)

Juice's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together Presented by Cockring Emporium:

So I think we can all agree that the BCS is a crock of shit. Better than random bowl games, but not really all that good. There are thousands of proposals. Mine is the best, but I have to give credit to Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! who has come up with a well researched and thorough plan, as well as good arguments to contradict the nay-sayers. His tourney is pretty close to mine, and really has the same general premise as mine, but doesn't go quite far enough. But his is the first that I could live with. With that being said, here are the details.

32 team tourney
All D-I conference champs get auto bids, the remaining are chosen via selection committee.
It will be structured more like the college baseball tournament than college basketball. 8 regionals of four teams.
Top 8 teams' stadiums host 4 team regionals, giving the good teams the potential to host 2 games.
Quarterfinals will take place at 4 bowls: Cotton, Citrus (not the Capital One, that is gay), Gator and Fiesta.
Semifinals at Orange and Sugar.
Final at Rose Bowl.
First round will take place on Friday Dec 12 and Sat. Dec 13, 8 games each day, with games being played two at a time (with 3o minute overlaps in kickoffs)
Second round Sat Dec. 20 (same deal)
Quarterfinals Sat Dec. 27
Semifinals Sat Jan 3
Final Sat Jan 10.
All games will be on ESPN, ESPN2 and ABC.
Finally, the other 18 useless bowl games that would make up the other 36 teams that would be "left out" compared to the current bowl system (yeah, fucking 68 teams play bowl games), will still be played. 6 on Christmas day, 6 New Year's Eve and 6 New Year's day. Take that tradition and shove it up your pie hole.
Naysayers can suck my fucking balls. Wetzel answered most of the criticisms. Plus, the NCAA doesn' t give a flying fuck about "student athletes" so it will be fine.
Travel won't be an issue either. Home teams will fill stadiums on a day's notice. Plus the short notice doesn't affect NFL playoffs for example, so it won't be an issue here either. NCAA basketball sites are decided way ahead, but teams playing don't know until a week. So the games will sell out. Plus corporate a-holes can still buy tickets to those bowl games.
Next week, I will set out the brackets, and randomly post results when I feel like it.

Weekly Sports Illustrated Review

This is a bit late since I actually have the following SI sitting right next to me, but, due to the holidays and a horrible fucking Packer game I attended, this is my first chance to browse my favorite magazine.

The cover isn't too promising. I do like the idea of possible BCS bashing but I'm not really looking forward to articles about a linebacker's thought process or a football formation that's making a comeback.

Turkey of the Year award - got to SI.com to vote. Candidates include Roger Clemens, Ocho Cinco and Rich Rodriguez. My vote is for Clemens. What a fucking weasel he is.

Joe Montana apparently has a son who's a great high school QB. Imagine that.

Article about CC's fat ass. No, seriously, an article about Sabathia's fat ass and a disgusting cartoon drawing of him in a speedo-type thing.

SI Players Poll - Which NFL team has the league's best playing surface? Cardinals come in #1 (16%). For those Packer fans, Lambeau came in 8th with 5.2%. After Qwest Field (Seahawks), Lambeau got the most support of any stadium that's neither in a warm weather site nor domed.

Former Packer great Bob Jeter died of a heart attack at age 71. (Moment of silence please)

Pop Culture Grid - four people I've actually heard of (Troy Polamalu, Jake Delhomme, Brock Lesnar, Dwight Howard).

Faces in the Crowd - no chicks I'd do.

HOLY SHIT!!!!! Dan Patrick's weekly interview is with none other than the great ERIN ANDREWS!!!!! Weak picture though. Oh man she's hot. If I was Hef I'd be all over that. If I was Hef I wouldn't do some stupid SI Review.

Cover story about Oklahoma beating TT. I'm generally not too interested in these articles that recap games I already know about but the next time I'm hunching out a stink pickle I'll skim it to hopefully find some BCS hatin!

Here's the article about linebackers. Apparently, Peter King followed Derrick Brooks around during his preparation for facing Adrian Peterson.

"The Dream Life of Andrei Kirilenko" - Now this sounds fascinating. First of all, Kirilenko looks very similar to Ivan Drago in this close up picture they have. Secondly, wasn't it Kirilenko's wife who allows Kirilenko to bone other chicks? Or was that someone else?

Article about soccer. We'll just skip past that.

Annika Sorenstam career review. I'm a huge golf fan so I'll probably read this. I could never quite figure out where she ranked on my scale of 1 to 10 in hotness. This is open for debate.

It seems the 'single wing' formation is back in the NFL. I don't know exactly what that is. Looks like I may need to read.

Dr Z got his pick of the week right - Steelers over the Patriots.

Good call about Matt Forte sinking in fantasy ratings. He looked good on Sunday night.

What's the Scenario?

Truthfully, I've just been that busy. Between work, and the shit ton of snow we got, and ski poling Richard and The Sports Bottle this weekend, I haven't had time to blog. There were a few highlights from the weekend to consider however.

Saturday night, the unquestioned highlight was seeing "Ryan Grant's big brother" get announced at multiple bars, like for some reason I was supposed to give a shit. The second highlight was mentioning Ryan Grant's big brother until it was beaten into the ground, and then mentioning it like another 6,000 times after it stopped being funny.

Sunday sucked on a whole bunch of levels. The only good part I think besides just generally being there, was "Mean Gene". Mean Gene was a seemingly mentally ill, elderly, Packer fan, with a green Packers #4 jersey that had "Mean Gene" on the back. For some odd reason, Mene Gene took it upon him self to take two of the "G Force" flags that were handed out, and waive them around like he was having a seizure, while simultaneously dancing at a ridiculous pace. I wasn't sure whether to think it was great, feel sorry for him, or fear for his life. And I didn't even see him drink. For a second opinion on the matter, my wife asked "Who do you think takes him to the games?" Like he was literally released from Brown County Mental Health Center on a day pass to utilize his season tickets. Anyway he was awesome.

Other than that, it blew. We were sitting in the only semi-open part of the stadium, and the wind blew directly in our faces the whole game. It wasn't that cold, but by the end of the game it wore on you. Plus it is always at least 20 degrees colder when your team shits the bed after looking unbeatable for 27 minutes in the second half. That was a tough loss to take. I am still too mentally exhausted to get too in depth on it.

Now the Pack has to win out, or they will not make the playoffs. I would like to think it is theoretically possible, although the inability to step on a team's throat, makes me think that it is less than likely. Monitoring local talk radio the past few days was actually kind of strange. There is far more optimism than there should be, and a fair number of people think they will still win the division. I think it is a pipe dream, but I guess it gives us a reason to watch.

There are also OJSFA playoff scenarios to discuss. As it stands, I am 10-3 and in 1st, Bear is also 10-3 and in second, and Twinkie is 9-4 an in third. The three of us have clinched playoff spots, leaving one left. Bear and I have the top 2 seeds locked up. I am playing Richard who is 8-5 and currently in 4th place. A win and he is in. A win and a Twinkie loss gives him the third seed. If I win, I lock up the top seed. My brother is 7-6 and facing Sports Bottle 7-6. Sports Bottle is out based upon total points, so he is playing for nothing. If my brother wins and Richard loses, it seems likely that my brother would get in as the last playoff team.
"If Milwaukee wins, they would be the third seed in the middle bracket of the SouthCentral East region, but if they lose, they would have a three way play in to become the 7th seed in the Northeastern West Upper division, lower bracket." (That was a lame attempt at a line from BASEketball, and to describe how nobody truly gives a shit).

Nice win for Bucky last night. Leuer is probably better than anyone imagined.

Not surprised CU lost, since they tend to lose to Nebraska occasionally. I'm not that worried yet.

Coming later this week, the final top 25 poll, the revealing of Juicelaw's Dream NCAA D-I Football Get Together presented by Cockring Emporium (but not its teams), shitty picks and general bitching.

Some weekend thoughts

First let's get the immediate game from last night out of the way since it's the freshest in my mind. Bucky won by 2 in Va Tech when Hughes hit a runner in the lane with 0.9 left on the clock, very clutch shot, solid road win for the Badgers. Couple of things, I thought Tech got absolutely screwed by all those fouls called on Allen, I saw all 5 of them live, I would have called the fouls where he was dicking around 30 feet from the hoop trying to play with the guards and MAYBE the foul where he pulled down that rebound and got his pass stolen, he barely touched anyone, but he turned his body at contact so it looked bad. With Allen I say Tech wins this game by 10. That being said if Allen stays in the game does Vassallo still go off Steve Kerr NBA Live 97 style? It's tough to say, even the dead ball plays that he just launched for fun after the whistle were going down, that kid couldn't miss.

Marquette lost to Dayton over the weekend... I think that Dayton will end up be solid, they have been the last two years, we still can't lose this game though. Saturday is a big match up, Marquette vs Wisconsin, should be another good game between those two. Remember when UW-Milwaukee was good and all of a sudden that decision for the 3 good WI schools to play non-conference games turned out to be a terrific basketball game creating decision?

Packers, this game just exemplified our season, flashes of brilliance broken up between epic breakdowns and then exposure of what used to be strengths. You know what? I'm really not that upset about the game, I thought we played well and it's rare to have a game that a team plays perfectly throughout, so you can't fault the defense or the offense for disappearing at times here and there. My biggest gripe was partially addressed yesterday with the release of Frost, I never understood why we got rid of Ryan at the last second anyways(not that he was some awesome punter, but he was definitely better than Frost). Of course it's not like the jack ass they sign off the streets this week is gonna get it done either.

The other part of my gripe would have to be our kickoff coverage. It's really tough to kick a team in the face when they're down if you keep letting them get back up. Both times they returned it to midfield in the second half it was like spending all of your energy to knock a guy to the ground and then letting that guy get back up to one knee. There was no fire, no desire to deliver that kill shot, our special teams needs a kick in the ass.

I think the real reason I even brought up the Packers is because I know Juice has been purposely avoiding all things Packer related for the last two days. A little google analytics shows no traffic reported from his city, I love it when he goes dark after tough Packers losses haha.

Back from vacation and New Beginnings

Just got back from my sister-in-law's house last night after spending Fri-Sunday there with my in-laws. Let me tell you, it is damn good to be home. I squealed my mother f-ing brakes on the way out of there. I love my in-laws, in the sort of way that you have to in order for your wife to stay married to you, but after a couple days with them I go bat shit crazy. Yesterday all the girls (My wife, her 3 sisters, and my deranged mother-in-law) all got together to bake Christmas cookies. I don't know what happened, but at one point I made the mistake of entering the room and all 4 sisters were bawling and bitching at each other and my mother in law was playing referee. I don't know where I was going with this story, other than to say that nobody should be forced to spend greater than 48 hours with their in-laws. In fact, I believe a strong argument could be made to move the threshhold to 24 hours.

ANYWHO, several tidbits from the sports weekend :

1) Wyoming will officially hire their new head coach, Missouri Offensive Coordinator Dave Christiansen (large man to the right). Not sure how I feel about this. Our offense has sucked and Missouri's is good, so that's a positive. However, I have heard alot of Missouri people gripe that he didn't do much until Chase Daniel came along. We'll see. To me it seems like a pretty sexy hire by a shitty school who has sucked for a long time. GO POKES!

2) I texted Juice to find out if Creighton won while watching the Packers game on TV yesterday (not a fan, just throwing out comments from a casual observer). After I sent the message I instantly remembered that he was attending the game. Here is my apology. Sorry for interrupting. Interesting game. I did not see that last bomb coming. That was some serious skill displayed by Delhomme (aka lucky as fuck). The Pack had all the momentum and Steve Smith just took a shit on their season at that point. What the hell were those TWO (NOT one, but TWO) defenders doing? DeAngelo Williams is in on the verge of taking the title from Lendale White for "I don't do shit but score 1 yard TD runs."

3) CU lost again to the fucking Cornholers from Nebraska. I did not see the last 2 losses coming. I retract my earlier prediction of CU being a middle to high seed and safely in at season's end and amend it to "we will scrap by and somehow end up at the magic number of 20-21 wins and be on the bubble, only to not make the tourney and play some athletic team in the NIT and get shelled in the second round" which has become a staple of the Dana Altman era as of late. Maybe he should have stayed at Arkansas after all. Did I just say that out loud?

4) And, as if any of you care about Creighton basketball, this goes even lower... Wyoming is undefeated on the season with wins over Texas State, Johnson and Wales culinary institute (for real), Denver and some other shitty teams I can't remember off hand but am too lazy to look up. Look out big dance! Also, WYO's basketball coach looks like Michael Corleone.

He Moratorium

It's bad enough I had to put a moratorium on His name. Now I have to do the same about mentioning Him at all. This shit is getting us nowhere, and it gives me heart burn. And I'm sick and fucking tired of arguing with Richard about this. So from here on out, nobody (including me) is allowed to mention Him again. This is fucking stupid and repetitive. Nobody is ever going to see the other's side.

Sorry for yelling. That Wal-Mart story ruined my day.

I Hate People

I just heard this and it made me want to vomit. I am of the belief that every asshole that pushed their way into the store should be charged with manslaughter. The fucking assholes that refused to leave when the other Wal-Mart employees told them that you have to leave the store because someone is fucking dead should get the chair. This is some of the most senseless shit I've heard in a long time. I don't want to hear a word about how fucked the economy is either, because if 2,000 fucking people were willing to KILL someone to get into a fucking shitty Wal-Mart, we've got a ways to go before there is a problem. I am embarrassed to be an American. I was having a fine day, and now it is ruined.

Side Note: Wal-Mart will do nothing to help this poor dude's family, because they are a horrible, horrible, monstrosity that caters to and takes advantage of idiots that don't know better.

Friday Afternoon Coast

It's now 3. Been here for about 8.5 hours. Got a whole bunch of work done. Now I am in full on stare at the clock mode. I was just given another project, but am going to do what I tend to do on Friday afternoons, which is open the file in front of me on my desk, and surf the Internet while pretending to "research". I will also try to stare down at it, or pretend to write when one of my bosses walks by. 80% of the time, it works all the time. I've been at the job for 6 months now, and haven't been caught (at least where anyone said anything) so I'm going to go ahead and assume it is working. Plus, I was here an hour plus earlier than anyone else, and didn't take an hour and a half lunch. No opinions or intelligence to pass along really. I had a sweet trade on NBA2k9 last night: Bogut, Mbah-a-Moute (who is WAY better in real life than on the game), Francisco Elson and a 2nd rd pick to the Lakers for Lamar Odom, 2 1st rd picks and some asshole bench warmer to replace Elson who was like the 14th guy on my roster. The Lakers accepted except that selfish prick Odom refused to waive his no trade clause. 75 minutes before I can leave without permission.

Stupid Comment

Just wanted to comment something I read in the Wisconsin State Journal recently. Sports columnist Tom Oates wrote an article on the Packers/He situation where he said trading He was the "wrong move." I have no problem with that. Oates is entitled to his opinion.

What I have a problem with is a statement he made comparing He and Rodgers. Oates said, "He's infinitely more experienced than Rodgers and, despite His age, more gifted athletically." What the fuck? What is the measurement used here? Athletically, the only standard you could argue in He's favor is arm strength. And from what I've heard current Packers say, that's a toss up. Is Oates saying He has more mobility? That's fucking ridiculous.

Black Friday, Blackout Saturday

So I'm coming live to you from an office in a small town near Green Bay, WI. I'm at work. This is on a top 5 list of last places on Earth I want to be right about now.

Dragging myself out of bed at 5:00 a.m. is never easy. But after ingesting 11,800 calories the day before, it is even more difficult. So I need to sit at work while the rest of the world either gets into a fistfight over whatever the newest Elmo toy is, sleeps off a hangover, or gets drunk.

The thing is, I had a crapload of work to do today, and probably needed to come in, but that isn't the point. The point is that there is more than one televised sporting even on in the middle of the afternoon today.

If I were President Obama, the fourth thing I would institute as law (right after the legalization of marijuana, the lowering of the age of consent to 16 and forcing the NCAA to adopt Juicelaw's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together) would be to make it mandatory for employers to give their employees paid time off any time there is a televised major sporting event on before 5 p.m. on a weekday. Of course, this would have to exclude baseball (except playoffs and College World Series) and golf (except majors). Otherwise, this wouldn't be that hard to put in place, and would make very few additional days off. One example would be today when there are numerous college basketball and football games on. Others I can think of would be most days between Christmas and New Year's (although if JDDNFGT was the rule, there would be no bowl games on these days) and 1st round of NCAA basketball (which I used to, and hope to in the future, take off for anyway). Those would be the biggies. It just seems fair.

As an aside, Best Buy was PACKED at 6:05 a.m. CST this morning.

But the next few days aren't a total loss. Saturday, at approximately 4:00 p.m., I am going to commence drinking myself into a coma in preparation for Packers/Panthers on Sunday. Either that, or mourning Richard's death (depending on whether he brings up OJSFA vetoes or He). Regardless, Sports Bottle is showing up around 9 p.m., and then it will be really on like Donkey Kong. I imagine we will head down to the stadium district, listen to the hair metal/stadium rock/wedding music, and point and laugh at all the white trash and old people trying to grind up on the random group of hot chicks that is there for the bachelorette or birthday party (this never fails).

I am considering finding a sports bar nearby my house that can get the CU-Nebraska tilt, and watch while waiting for Sports Bottle. But I'm not sure that a)there is one, b)Richard will give a shit or c) Sports Bottle wants to go through the hassle of meeting somewhere.

No matter what happens, it is likely going to be memorable, because Richard never goes anywhere without his girlfriend and doesn't do something ridiculous. This time I bet I'm stopping at Shopko to buy him boxers on the way to the game Sunday morning because he had the pair he was wearing to the bars stolen Saturday night, and shit in the other pair he brought along.

Sunday is going to come early.

Monday is too.