Sports Illustrated Preview

It's a Sports Illustrated Extravaganza!! For the first time I can recall I've received 3 different Sports Illustrateds in the same week. For my viewing pleasure I have the SI shown above, the Golf Plus 2008 Review/2009 Preview and the 2008 Pictures of the Year.



Tim Tebow is a monster. For the first time all year I was able to enjoy an entire Saturday of college football. I'm normally working during that time, keeping the streets safe for Juice, Twinkie and Bear. The type of people who look to me for guidance and reassurance.



Anyways, I caught the entire Florida/Bama game. The entire time I was thinking how ridiculous it is that Vegas had Florida favored by 10 and it looked even more ridiculous with Bama up 20-17 in the second half. Well, once again Vegas gets it right. How the fuck do they do that? Hmmmm......



A nice picture of the Sooners praying on the field before they kicked the shit out of Missouri. I don't see Missouri players praying anywhere in the picture. This leads me to believe (my) God likes the Sooners because I'm sure God took time out of his day to catch this snoozer of a game. I hear Jesus is a great blocking running back.



SI Players NFL Poll - What percentage of NFL players would you say use performance enhancing drugs?

• 0 to 4 percent - 32%


• 5 to 9 percent - 23%


• 10 to 19 percent - 20%


• 20 to 29 percent - 12%


• 30 percent or more - 12%

Apparently Lane Kiffin has a really hot wife.

$5,050 - amount the door to the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders' locker room sold for in an auction of Texas Stadium memorabilia.

Faces in the Crowd - one F-able chick, given she's 18. Otherwise I'd never even think about it.

Interview with Mack Brown. Who, besides me, knew Mack Brown led the Tar Heels to an 11-1 record in 1997? Anyone?

I always thought Sam Bradford was white, but now I'm not so sure.

Long ass article about rich Russian dudes spending a shit load of money to fuel the Russian sports machine. Riveting.

Lets move onto the feature of the day - the Golf Plus Review/Preview!!! In case I haven't mentioned it in the past, I love golf. I love playing it and I love watching it on my 61' HD TV. I love playing it with Juice. He always teaches me a few things.

Other random thoughts -

Fuck CC. Fuck him right in the butt. If anyone thought there was a minute chance he'd remain a Brewer, you are a fucking retard

The Bucks are good at nothing, except maybe rebounding. Every game is the same. They shoot 37% and get outscored by 20 at the free throw line.

Got 'Dark Knight' from Netflix. I'm really looking forward to watching. Yes, I haven't seen it yet. Fucking get over it.

'True Blood' on HBO is excellent. Lots of blood and sex.

The Surplus, CC and The Bloody Bengal Tigers

I had a funny thought yesterday. Someone called into the local sports talk radio and asked if Ted Thompson gets to keep what the Packers don't spend from their salary cap. That in and of itself is sort of hilarious, but what was funny was that on "The Office" this week, the same thing happened. There was a budget surplus, and Michael got to keep a percentage as a bonus if it wasn't spent. I wonder what Thompson's cut of the $20mil or so is? I'm definitely not a Thompson basher, and would probably lean more towards apologist land. However, clearly a smartly selected veteran or two from the free agent pool couldn't have hurt. Sitting on the money is stupid, but equally stupid would be to blow it like it grows on trees, like most would have him do. I think the Packers as an organization are kind of similar to the Brewers in that they can't afford to make tragic and expensive mistakes on high priced free agents, and need to be someone selective. That being said, I can't imagine there wasn't one or two guys out there that wouldn't have broken the bank, and would've been more helpful than most of the draft picks this year were.

Speaking of the Brewers, I guess CC isn't coming after all. I'm not going to believe he actually signed until I see him in pinstripes, because there have been incorrect stories all off season about when he was signing and with who. Yesterday there was a story blowing around that CC outright told the Yankees to get bent and the Brewers were the front runners. The whole hot stove rumor thing is rather ridiculous. But at least we got Mike Lamb and Todd Coffee!

Bucky BARELY held on last night in a snooze-fest against Idaho St. I say snooze-fest because I kept dozing off to the dulcet tones of Craig Coshoun, and bricks being laid by the Badgers. Any time a Big Sky team comes into Madison and has a last second shot to win, that doesn't bode well for your tourney chances. But historically, Bucky plays down to its competition, and will probably rattle off 10 or 11 Big Ten wins, which will put them in the hunt for a 6 seed or so. If UWGB (who has been borderline great since getting blown out by a D-II team) knocks them off Saturday, we may have a problem. Marcus Landry would be only about the 4th best player on alot of other Big Ten teams, and he is relied on to be our main man, which might not be good. Also, he is probably the only non-gangster/Mormon to have two kids in college.

Big game tonight in the Big O. I'll leave most of the good analysis to the great Kyle Whelliston at Mid-Majority.com. I think Dayton is probably a better team at this point. But both CU loses came on the road, both big Dayton wins were at home, Dana has kicked his team in the ass, and CU rarely loses at the Qwest. I can only hope that finals don't lower the crowd number. CU 65, Dayton 63

Covert Picks

I am doing this quickly because I think my bosses would frown on pretend gambling, and I am at work.

Last week: 10-6
Season: 104-100-4

Chi (-3), Atl (-3), Was (-7), Sea (NL), Mia (-6.5), Ind (-17), KC (+5.5), Jax (+1.5), Ari (NL), Car (-7.5), Pit (+2), NE (-7), NYG (+3), Phi (-14)

Late Reaction, Stupid People and Snow "Events"

I figured its about time I weigh in with my 6.5 pesos on Sunday. I was at the game for the second week in a row, and for the second week in a row, I was personally kicked in the nuts by 53 professional football players and their coaches. How you surrender 500+ yards in a game is beyond me. How you continue to dominate the turnover ratio, which is supposedly the best indicator of how a team will do (they won 4 to 1 on Sunday, and according to Jaws, the team that wins the turnover battle wins 77% of the time), and still lose is beyond me. How you replace a decent punter, with a shitty one, probably lose a game because of it, and then replace him again with a punter that had a semi-great game, and still lose is beyond me. How you commit only 5 penalties, yet somehow wait until the most crucial situations to commit them is beyond me. How all of this can happen, and you get fucked by the officials on top of it is beyond me. There are greater powers at work here or something. As shitty as the defense is at stopping people when it needs to, it is spectacular at forcing turnovers, which should really make up for it. But somehow, with a holding penalty here, and a dropped pass there, we fuck it up. I just don't get it. We clearly aren't that good, and I guess we should start looking forward to the draft. Where I will again get really, really drunk.

Took a new direction at the game this week. My former status quo had been: park in a residential area with easy in and out, South of the stadium, head down to the bars on Holmgren Way, get a brat and bloody at the Bay City Smokehouse tent, stare at Paul Hornung and William Henderson as they sign autographs at Stadium View, watch some drunken asshole fall off the mechanical bull, drink a beer or two, walk around a bit, go into the game, get a beer, sit down, watch game.

This week I got free tickets to the game (which is alot cheaper than the $93 I paid for the Lions game when the Packers were still good) and went with my father in-law. He wanted to meet up with a friend of his at Buffalo Wild Wings (hereinafter BW2, there aren't three fucking W's). His buddy claimed that the lot at BW2 was easy to get in and out of. It was $10 to park, but my father-in-law paid it because the tickets were free. The pre-game experience at BW2 was really enjoyable actually, we got there in time to get a table near the bar, the waitstaff stopped by frequently enough, the beer was alot cheaper than other places near by, the food was quick, cheap-ish and tasty, there were random hot beer girls there, it was crowded enough to make the atmosphere somewhat exciting but not too crowded, and most of all it was warm. I would definitely go back. Except I would never park there again because it took us an hour to get out of the parking lot, but that is another story. The only down side was lack of grill smell, but you can get that on the walk to the stadium. But seriously, especially in cold weather situations, this will probably be in my repertoire.

At the game itself, the temp at game time was 13, with a 5 degree wind chill. But it wasn't real windy so it wasn't too bad. The face got a little cold, but otherwise I was fine. There was a layer of ice on all of the bleachers, but we had a blanket so that was OK.

RANDOM STUPID ASSHOLE ALERT: So we had "negative couple" behind us at the game. You know the ones. The people who bitch and moan non-stop at the game. This particular couple hated Aaron Rodgers for some reason, even though he is a top 5 QB in the NFC. With every incomplete pass there was: "Six more years of this." or "Oh, yeah, he is worth $65 million". On his second TD, as the ball was released, the guy screamed "What are you doing?" I wanted to punch him in the face. And his wife was the worst one. Even when he would get sacked (like the time where two guys came in untouched in about .3 seconds) they would bitch about it. I don't really understand you people. And as Samuel L. Jackson once stated, "Yes they deserved to die! And I hope they burn in hell!"

It has snowed like a mother for the past two days here. And the media panic started the day before. They called it a "Snow Event", which I guess must be worse than a snowstorm (but maybe not as bad as a blizzard?) Forecast called for 8 to 14 inches, and thousands of casualties. I got up this morning to find a solid 7 inches in my driveway, with a three foot drift on one side, and snow still falling. Which sucks when your snowblower breaks. I had time to shovel the half behind our car before work. In the car on the way to work, I was warned to stay off the roads at all costs, and if you do drive there is like a 92% chance that you will die. In actuality, the roads were not that bad at all. I'm not really sure where I was going with this, other than to say that I hate when the media scares everyone up about snow, but what I hate worse is shoveling. But even worse than that is when your team inexplicably aborts itself in front of you two weeks in a row. Also it is supposed to be 40 this Sunday. Fuck. Me.

Big Baby lives up to his namesake

There's really nothing like having the nickname big baby and then being cussed out by another grown man on live TV, throwing a tantrum and then crying about it. Glen Davis, I salute you.





Also in case anyone happened to miss this, which I doubt because it's been absolutely plastered all over deadspin and PFT, but Visanthe Shiancoe is now a huge star.

Kevin Mchale is approximately 63 games from being forever cut from the T-Wolves franchise like the cancerous tumor that he is. At least Minnesota fans will have another high lottery pick chance to look forward to when they get their new coach and now Mchale won't be there to trade the right pick for their team away anymore!

Should be less than two weeks now until Sabathia is a Yankee, I've come to terms with this.

I'm a little concerned with Doug Melvin being 100% dead set against trading any of his young current major leaguers. Why is he so against this? Of course maybe he is and he's just playing the politics game, Melvin's response to 95% of trade rumors is "We've never had any discussion about this player, EVER"

Why the fuck is Peavy so interested in going to the Cubs but tells the Brewers to 100% fuck off? I hope you end up in Chicago and lose for the rest of your life you fucking prick.

The Yankees and Mets, after already get a billion and a half dollars from the city of New York, are asking for another half billion dollars. Stay classy New York.

In one fell swoop I managed to "blow" a 40 point lead coming into Monday night of fantasy football with about 60 stagnant points on my bench, and tie in my first round playoff game of another league with roughly 40 points on that bench, of course I wasn't even close to competing in the tie breaker, weak. That's alright though, I'm winning money in Juice's league

Derrick Rose apparantely cut himself while eating in apple in bed earlier this week. I can't say too much, I prefer to eat apples with a knife myself, the real kicker here is that the report says he cut himself on his arm. Wtf, was he using his arm as a cutting board? How do you even do that? He's not expected to miss any playing time at least, so it won't go into one of those, pitcher dislocates his shoulder while putting kid to bed, freak injury columns that writers put together once a month. We get it, athletes get hurt like normal people too.

During the post game analysis of MNF last night Steve Young looks like he got douched in the face with an empty beer cup. Judging from the direction of where the cup was coming from, I can't entirely rule out Emmitt. I will say this though, Young kept his cool and didn't skip a beat in his report.



So this turned into some random thoughts for the day...

Juicelaw's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together Presented by Cockring Emporium!: The Bracket is revealed!

I've already been through the premise, so I won't bore you with that again, but so you know, I based the seedings on my rankings. I also did not take into consideration location or conference affiliation.

So here they are:

Norman, OK Regional

(1) Oklahoma (12-1) v. (4) Buffalo (8-5)

(2) Oklahoma St. (9-3) v. (3) Pitt (9-3)

Lubbock, TX Regional

(1) Texas Tech (11-1) v. (4) Rice (9-3)

(2) Ball St. (12-1) v. (3) Northwestern (9-3)

Austin, TX Regional

(1) Texas (11-1) v. (4) Boston College (9-4)

(2) Ohio St. (10-2) v. (3) Missouri (9-4)

Salt Lake City, UT Regional

(1) Utah (12-0) v. (4) Oregon St. (8-4)

(2) TCU (10-2) v. (3) Tulsa (10-3)

Tuscaloosa, AL Regional

(1) Alabama (12-1) v. (4) Mississippi (8-4)

(2) Cincinnati (11-2) v. (3) Oregon (9-3)

Boise, ID Regional

(1) Boise St. (12-0) v. (4) Virginia Tech (9-4)

(2) Georgia (9-3) v. (3) Georgia Tech (9-3)

Gainsville, FL Regional

(1) Florida (12-1) v. (4) Troy (8-4)

(2) BYU (10-2) v. (3) East Carolina (9-4)

Los Angeles, CA Regional

(1) USC (11-1) v. (4) Western Michigan (9-3)

(2) Penn St. (11-1) v. (3) Michigan St. (9-3)

I will post results when I feel like it. I will post my thoughts on yesterday when I get done vomiting, and shoveling the 14" of snow that is falling right now.

road trip recap

After spending nearly 15 hours in the car (round-trip) and traveling close to 900 miles, the wife and I managed to avoid any sort of severe wreck or serious argument. All in all it was a great trip, consisting of drinking with 2 of my only real friends from law school, and lacking only a certain drinking buddy from Wisconsin. Yes, I am charismatic I know, going to school for 3 years and making solid friendships with a total of about 3 people. Here's a brief synopsis:

6:30 p.m. Friday - we finally get on the road after the wife had to see an emergency patient. Emergency patients don't exist on Monday - Thursday, and even Friday before noon, but when you have to go somewhere, they are a sure thing Friday at 4:30 p.m.

7:30 p.m. - an unexpected pit stop to Mills Fleet Farm, or as Juice likes to call it "Redneck City". I myself think this is a fabulous store. The purpose for the stop, an air mattress for Mike's apartment. U know you are old and married when you need an air mattress to crash at a buddy's suite.

9:30 p.m. - the wife closes her eyes and dozes off. Yes, I know sitting in the passenger seat and listening to a book on tape is exhausting. Meanwhile, I manage to navigate the icy, snowy roads and slurp down my 3rd coffee. For the record, books on tape are a fabulous invention. It's like reading without doing the work. This particular one is "the Good Guy" by Dean Koontz. Some pretty intense shit.

1:30 a.m. - arrival in O-town. It's always funny to pull into Mike's place late at night (usually after the bars) because he lives in "mormonville USA" and know that everybody has been sleeping there for at least 3 hours after falling asleep after a few intense games of yahtzee and sipping on ginger ale. I notice there is a car pulling in right behind me. GUESS WHO? Mike and J Grant pulling in with a large amount of fast food. They appear very inebriated. Ah, the good ol days. Finally get to sleep at 2:15 after slamming a few beers and bullshitting.

8: 30 a.m. Saturday - Ouch. Too early.

9: 00 a.m. - UGH. still too early. Mikes leaves for pictures as he is an usher. I think being an usher is probably the greatest position to hold in a wedding. The opportunity to escort hot chicks. Only minimal responsibility. You know what else is a better position in a wedding? Not being in the wedding, not having to wear a tux and having no responsibility.

9:30 - wife leaves to visit a friend. Grrr. Still too early.

10 am - J-Grant and I listen to a Dane Cook DVD that I had borrowed from my brother. Funny shit. Especially the bit about the flute player in the civil war. My favorite part.

This shit is getting too long and you guys are probably bored (after the first 2 sentences). The only real significant event in the afternoon was cracking the first beers at 2:30 p.m. before the wedding. Oh yeah, I guess the wedding happened too. ZZZZzzzzzzz.

5:30 pm. - J Grant and I are in the hotel room watching college football and having beers. He thinks there isn't enough people downstairs to join the social hour. I think it has been long enough since the wedding and that it is probably packed. A trip downstairs confirms it. Yup, it was packed. We meet up with Mike and the fun begins. Oh yeah, the bride's family is loaded. Open, full bars until 1 a.m.

6:00 p.m. - I run into one of the bridesmaids from law school. She asks what kind of law I am practicing and I tell her family law, criminal defense, etc. to which she replies "Oh, the easy stuff". Fucking bitch. Could have slapped her, but the wife was with and I coolly played it off like she didn't just fucking belittle my short legal career. Oh yeah, she was probably one of the only hot girls in our class. Did I mention she could be a bitch? She also told us at least 50 times how cute her daughter was. zzzzzzzzz

6:30 p.m. - Mike has a cigarette
6:45 p.m. - Mike has a cigarette
7:10 p.m - Mike has a cigarette. You get the picture.

9 p.m - Mike begins to show obvious signs of drunkardness. Plus, he didn't shave early this AM, so he is beginning to look kind of creepy. He has yet to light up a cigarette in the no smoking ballroom, much to my suprise. The wife goes upstairs to nap and instructs me to wake her up at 10:30 so she can rally. This impressed me.

10 p.m. - Mike is beginning to tweak out. Says we should change out of our dress clothes and head to the downtown bars. J Grant and I veto this for several reasons, the most obvious being the large quantities of free booze waiting for our consumption. We calm him down and decided they should hit the dance floor looking for horny bridesmaids. I watch with amusement.

10:05 p.m. - the dance floor parts in horror. J Grant dropped his drink in the middle of the floor leaving a wet surface and thousands of shards of glass. Who brought the assholes? We did.

10:45 - 1 a.m. Sunday - the usual drinking and dancing continues. The wife rejoined the party as promised. Nothing real exciting. We are getting fucking old. Mike and J Grant made no obvious advances towards single women (Or married ones for that matter). This was severely disappointing to me. When you are married you live vicariously through your friends as they hit on women. I did not get to experience any of this. I feel cheated.

1:15 - Mike has changed into his Oregon ducks sweatpants and white T Shirt with almost 2 days of facial hair. He is seriously trolling for women now in the reception area, looking desperate, intoxicated and very, very creepy. I love hanging out with this guy.

1:30 - No scoring for either of my single friends. Unbelievable. We order pizza and eat in Mike's room watching football highlights. The bitch bridesmaid has decided to stay the night in Mike's room on the "heida" bed. I am pretty confident no funny business went on, as she is married with a child, although with Mike, you can't be 100% sure. I had to leave the room at about 1:45 as my speech was slurred and I literally could no longer put a sentence together. I feel like I'm about to puke. I leave in a rush and knock 1/2 the pizza on the floor. Oops. I do not puke, but instead go back to my room and pass out. A good night.

Playing Under Pressure

The Packers are the team reincarnation of the Chris Webber timeout vs UNC or that Cowboys TE dropping that touchdown catch when he was wide open in the end zone. They cannot do shit under pressure. Don't be fooled. The touchdown with 6 minutes left to tie the game was not clutch. Clutch time is when Grant ran for the first down with just over 2 minutes left and Tony Moll had a holding call (which seemed like a horseshit call). But even more un-clutch was the sack given up on the next play, which appeared to be a screen. Isn't it the point of a screen to let the pass rush through to set the screen up? And then the next play is a 2 foot dump pass to a TE. The offense couldn't step up when it needed to.

But neither could the D. I fucking hate the Packer defense. Our new punter pins the Texans at the 2 yd line. That was clutch. But the clutchness ended there. Two big pass plays later and an easy field goal.




Fucking christ.




I'm not sure if every fan of every team feels this way, but isn't every single last second field goal against the Packers right down the middle? What was it, like a 57 yard field goal a couple years ago against the Vikings?




Shouldn't the Packers be showing signs of improvement as the year moves on? We're showing the same progress as the Austin Powers movies. We shouldn't be our best at the beginning of the year. I believe if this team did what most mildly decent young teams did (improving throughout the year), we could be very good next year. I originally thought that was the case but now I'm not so sure. I have no more optimism. We couldn't beat the Texans at home. Fucking ridiculous.

I'm not one to jump the gun and say we should completely re-tool next year but there's something wrong that shouldn't be wrong. I'm still old school and wish coaches still coached teams for decades, through good times and bad. But I'm also realistic and know that's not the case anymore. Someone's seat might be getting warm......

For the Record

Not much time to talk since I'm headed out to Packers/Texans in about two minutes, but I just wanted to state that if the BCS decides Oklahoma v. Florida, I agree with it. That being said, the BCS is fucking bullshit and the brackets will be revealed at some point in the next few days.

NBA2k9 Konspiracy?

Before I get to this, I would like to add a caveat. It is entirely possible that Sports Bottle somehow managed to do this while he was fucking around on my game, in addition to messing around with the camera angles and such. But I tried to figure out how to do it myself and couldn't, and didn't notice other familiar names, and can't really figure out why he would only create one random prospect and implant it into my game. But again, it is possible that this was a gigantic ruse, and that I'm a moron.

However, for these purposes, I'm going to go ahead and assume that the above is untrue, and this is the most fucked up thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I own NBA 2k9. I normally don't concern myself too much with alot of the features, including the scouting of prospects for the draft. I just usually pick whoever looks best. Last night, I was in one of those weird situations where I didn't really have time to play another whole game, but I didn't feel like shutting off the system, so I was cruising around checking out different menus. Anyways, I clicked on the Scouting Prospects tab, and the following is what I saw:

Many of you probably don't know who Aaron Stokstad is. While that is unfortunate for you, I can tell you that he is a good friend of mine from college. And he is from Wisconsin. And he is white. And he doesn't play D-I college basketball. This picture absolutely blew my fucking mind to the extent that I woke my wife up from sleeping on the couch and told her that my video game is "fucking haunted".

So assuming I haven't been "Punk'd", the question is: Where the fuck did 2k Sports get the name from? I think we can all agree that Stokstad isn't a run of the mill name like Smith or Jones. And isn't the last name of a player like Iverson or Bryant. So where does 2k Sports get its fake names? Well, you can rest assured that I am going to get to the bottom of this shit, if its the last thing I do. I will leave no stone unturned.

Also, if you think I'm not going to trade away the farm to get Stokstad on my team, you are crazy.

Viva Nebraska

The wife and I are going to hop in the car and make the long-ass drive to Nebraska this weekend for a CU alum class-mates wedding. Truth be told, I am not really going for the wedding, but am going because it's a good excuse to see my boy Mike. If you've never met him, the picture at left is a good example of him, only picture this guy hitting on two chicks who may or may not be over the age of 18, an additional cigarette shoved in the mouth, and one beer in each hand.

Juice, I know what you are thinking ("wait, that asshole didn't come to my wedding"). Well, you're right, except I almost died and was laid up in the hospital when you got married. I said a prayer for you two to my God, and it must have worked because your wife hasn't gotten rid of you yet! And mark my words, someday the wife and I will make the same long-ass haul that you did, across two states, to visit you, if you invite us. If not, I would expect the Sports Bottle to invite us.

Anyways, back to my boy Mike. This guy dated some girl whom none of us friend thought was that hot (or cool for that matter), and now she ripped his heart out of his ass and dumped him. So, being the great friend I am, I am driving down there to help him get really drunk and get her out of his mind. I am also hoping to play the role of wingman and help him bang some hot, half-drunk bridesmaid. I am a little out of the partying scene, and it has been a long time since I last "tied one on". I am very nervous about trying to keep the beer flowing as much as my friends, and also my propensity to develop a huge vagina and get really sleepy at 11 p.m. Full update to follow Monday, as I will be exhausted and ready to put off any work. I may even rip off one of Simmons'/Juice's running diaries...

Sports Illustrated Review

I'm now up to date. I received this SI yesterday.

It's the yearly Sportsman of the Year "double issue." Speaking of issue, I take issue with this horseshit "double issue" idea SI uses a couple times a year. I pay for 52 SIs a year and this issue here counts as two. Fucking bogus. They could call any issue a double issue if they wanted to.

Amazingly, it appears Jordan only got this 'award' once. To jog everyone's memory, He Who Shall Not Be Named won the award last year.

Phelps has to be extremely uncomfortable in those wet clothes. I hate the thought of being in wet clothes. I watched the Crocodile Hunter running through a river after a water snake today in his usual garb. Disgusting.

SI Players Poll (a follow up to last week) - Which team has the NFL's worst playing surface? Steelers (Heinz Field) is the overwhelming winner with 27%. #2 was the Raiders (McAfee Coliseum) with 13%. Dolphins stadium finished fourth in both the best and worst polls. Fascinating.

Michael Phelps is all over this magazine. 2nd picture of him not counting the cover and I haven't even reached his article yet.

$510,161,750 - value of in-race TV exposure for Jimmie Johnson's sponsors this season. That's a shitload of dough.

$3 million - price per 30 second Super Bowl ad. 59 of 67 spots have been sold. Anyone remember the original Bud Bowl? I believe it was the 49ers vs Bengals Super Bowl. I thought it was great and it was great for a couple years. I always rooted for Bud Light.

Pop Culture Grid - Elton Brand, Gary Brackett, Dan Ellis and Roddy White. I've heard of 3. Anyone, without the aid of the internet, know who Dan Ellis is? A hint - when asked "____ is hazardous to my health" he stated "a puck to the head."

Faces in the Crowd - 2 possible boneable chicks.

Cover Story. Who didn't love the Olympics this year? Fuck all the shit about human rights violations and China is the worst place ever blah blah blah. I thought the Olympics were great. Phelps was great. That relay where that Lezak dude made the remarkable comeback in the freestyle was incredible. And how did Phelps win that butterfly race?

It's the 40th anniversary of the first Special Olympics. Rather impressive. This is a great cause but you'll never catch me watching because my almost guaranteed spot in hell would become a foregone conclusion. If you want to join me in hell, listen to 'Special Olympics' by Stephen Lynch.

Spotlight on the Giants offense. Mildly interesting since I have Brandon Jacobs.

Oregon St vs Oregon. Not very interested. I already know what happened. But I'm forecasting some more BCS bashing.

Focus on Paul Pierce. I think he's a huge douchebag.

Some article about a shooting at a high school basketball game back in 1992 Alabama. Yawn. I bet this is a long ass article..... Yep.

Mark Teixeira's gonna get a lot of money. Scott Boras is a hypnotist.

Finally, an article outlining the Pacquiao/De La Hoya fight. I'm guessing no one reading this gives a shit about this fight, but for boxing fans, it's pretty huge. I haven't decided who I'm rooting for. I think I want Pacquiao. The fight is on HBO PPV. I fucking hate that. Boxing is suffering pretty badly right now, for many reasons. This is one of the biggest reasons. They need to bring back casual fans by showing the biggest fights live on regular HBO. I will not buy the fight and hopefully I can avoid finding out the result until I watch the replay the following Saturday.

Alexander Ovechkin is the man. He's on my fantasy hockey team.

A stuntman finances his passion for stock car racing by being a stuntman. Guaranteed another long ass article.... Yep, very long.

99 yard TD pass to Berrian. Fuck, I had him on the bench.

LT is lost in Chargers offense.

Advice - don't lose faith in Michigan St (college basketball). Well, in case anyone didn't see the final result, MY Tar Heels kicked the shit out of MSU - 98-63. I know Juice is rolling his eyes but this could possibly be one of the best college basketball teams we've ever seen. Tywon Lawson is the best PG in the country right now.

Badger alum update - Devin Harris is not Jason Kidd. But he's becoming an offensive force for the Nets.

Other random thoughts -

Sean Avery is a retard.

Antonio Pierce is a retard.

Plaxico Burress is a very intelligent human being.

Supporters of the BCS are retards.

I said it before the play happened. The Packers should've gone for the TD on 4th down in the 4th quarter.