Monday, February 7, 2011

My Super Bowl

The Packers have won the Super Bowl. The good folk of Wisconsin were out in force last night, I'm sure of this.

My only real grievance with the celebrations so far has been the astounding number of people still doing the Brent who? thing. I get it, Favre is/was/always will be a complete turbo douche. That's fine, hell I even said it myself last night, Rodgers now has one more Super Bowl MVP than Favre. I just never really liked the whole Brent who? meme and I had hoped it would eventually die, you know 3 years after he left and we had just won a Super Bowl and all. To me, this game was less about proving Favre wrong and more about proving everyone else who doubted Rodgers and TT wrong, including some hack named Colin Cowherd. Nick Collins would have needed at least one more pick six and maybe another turnover/3 sacks to steal the MVP trophy from Rodgers. There was no way that award was going to anyone else.

So apparently Christina Aguilera skipped a whole verse of the national anthem last night? Two things, who was the first person to actually notice this? Cuz I know it wasn't anyone at the bar that I was at. Second, is this even news except for the fact that the over/under of 1:54 became an under when it very easily would have gone over 2 minutes with the extra verse? If it's not Vegas relevant for the Super Bowl, it's not news!

One more pre Super Bowl tidbit before I delve into my Sunday, the Packers were sized for their Super Bowl rings Saturday night. Either that's what normally happens? Or that's a crotch full of bowling balls from the boys upstairs in the Packers organization haha. EDIT: That is not normal and it was McCarthy's decision.

Coming into this game I managed to watch zero pre game shenanigans until about 30 to 45 minutes before the game started. I got to the bar that I had watched every game at since my appearance at Lambeau christmas weekend when we crushed the Giants. I was hoping it would be dead and it was, first person there, got my seat right in the middle of the bar, just like usual. I wasn't nervous all week, but I started feeling that knot as soon as the opening kickoff came. The game started off slow, players working out their own nerves, couple of jabs met by both teams, little sloppy offensively. Then Rodgers heated up, two quick scores, high fives were everywhere, 14-0 Packers. The jitters were starting to fade.

The Steelers got a garbage field goal and Jarrett Bush stole a pick at around mid field. I believe my exact tweet at that moment, which I immediately knew was a mistake because I'm not a fan of Bush, was "Four more years of Bush!". This will be relevant shortly and I'll explain myself at further length. After that pick, I knew we were going to score again, I just had that feeling, but I said aloud, man I sure hope we don't leave more than a minute on the clock for Roethlisberger(Did you know he's raped multiple women?). Of course we immediately score and I was happy, but I kind of groaned because I could feel that inevitable end of the first half TD coming. Little did I know how terrible that drive would be for my psyche.

The Steelers started marching, fine whatever, but then Shields goes down, fuck. Ok, ok this is fine, we can handle this... Woodson goes down. FUCK. I'm cursing up a storm, the world is over, we're done, stick a fork in us, shit. I started making deals with the devil in my head, just bring one of the two back, I don't care which one, just bring one back, we can do this with one of these guys back. My concerns are immediately brought to light when Bush does his where's waldo routine in the corner of the end zone. The only thing that would have made that play better for me is if he had fallen down and started flailing around. The next tweet after my four more years of Bush was "I fucking hate Jarrett Bush", because I do. He's a dimeback/special teams guru at best at the NFL level, which is fine, teams need roleplayers too. Let's just not talk this guy up into being some greatly improved player because he's slightly less shitty this year compared to last year.

At this point in the game, Nick Collins is your non media biased MVP, his pick six was terrific and he was an absolute beast out there. Did you see the way he was flying up on receivers and running backs? He was hitting people so hard they were literally flying backwards from the point of contact. It was amazing to watch, it gave me chills. That was exactly what you want from your best safety in the Super Bowl. Big turnover, points scored, punishing hits on whoever is foolish enough to wander within 10 yards of him. You couldn't have asked for more.

Still, we were up 21-10 at halftime and I felt like we were losing, I kept frantically checking Twitter for updates on Shields and Woodson, nothing, nothing, worst Super Bowl halftime show ever, still nothing. Finally we got word that Shields was questionable to return, but he should be back, whew, there was a chance now, up 11 points with 30 minutes to go, that we could win.

We go 3 and out and the Steelers immediately score a touchdown, good god, everything was going wrong, another 3 and out. The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain. I sink into my chair and stare longingly up at the big screen, it's glow flickering around me, mocking me. We're going to tease you until the end and then rip your heart out... The Packers punted again near the end of the 3rd quarter, still clinging to a 21-17 lead. I stared at a few commercials, one made me smile I think, I was dejected though, right before the break was over I decided to step out to have a cigarette. I'm about 2 drags in and the back alley explodes in cheers, I text my buddy inside, What happened! "You're not allowed back inside" was his reply. It was the Mendenhall fumble, the Packers were on the move, more cheers. I quickly finished my smoke and ran back in. Right as I got around the entrance way corner and looked up at the TV, Rodgers was firing a pass at a wide open Jordy Nelson that went careening off his hands and into the defensive backfield. My buddy just scowled at me, "See? You're fucking jinxing us!".

Thus begins the worst possible way to end a Packer Super Bowl win that I ever could have imagined. I sat down and put my arm over my eyes and say, how about if I do this? Nelson catches the ball and scampers for about 37 yards down to the 2. Hmm. I watch the next play and Rodgers gets sacked on a broken play. Hmmm. I put my head down in my arm on the bar, Jennings touchdown. Ok this is getting creepy... I started off the Steelers drive not watching, but it didn't seem to affect them and I watched their drive all the way down for the score and 2 point conversion. 28-25 Packers with 7 minutes to go. I looked at my friend and said, I know what I have to do. I got up from the bar, went outside and got updates via texts for the last 7 minutes of the game. I was so convinced that I was jinxing the game by watching, that I stayed outside for the last 7 damn minutes of the game. If that's not insanity, I'm not sure how else you would define it.

I'll leave you with this tidbit from Aaron Nagler of CheeseheadTV. This is Mike McCarthy's misson statement after he was hired by the Packers in 2006.


The Sports Bottle said...

You didn't watch the end of the game? You are an idiot.

And, don't believe him folks, he doesn't smoke. He was in the alley getting a handy from one of those hot Green Bay hookers.

Bear said...

Wasn't in GB, but thanks for the relevant comment

The Sports Bottle said...

My bad. I didn't even look to see who wrote it. I assumed it was Juice. So I retract the entire 2nd paragraph of my comment. I stand by the 1st paragraph.

Juicelaw said...

The dudes in River Falls have a helluva grip. Not gentle at all.