I Ate This

I'm not kidding. Oh, and I also ate about a million Cajun fries with it. The above monstrosity is a "regular cheeseburger" with toppings "all the way" (minus mayo) from "Five Guys Burgers and Fries". I finished it about five minutes ago, and I'm a little bit lightheaded. I can't decide if it was the best or the worst burger I've ever had. I think I'm leaning towards best. For those of you who haven't been there (and I'm pretty sure they have these in larger cities, so you may have, but I just had my cherry popped because this just opened in Green Bay last week so humor me), here are my initial reactions:

-Location is either horrible or great. It is right on Oneida St. off of the Hwy 41 exit. But I personally never go on this part of Oneida St. so it must suffer traffic wise v. mall location.

- You walk in and you see huge stacks potato sacks and peanut oil. Oh, and boxes of in-shell peanuts that you can eat while you wait, as if you needed to eat before what you eat in that picture.

-It is similar to a Chipotle or Qdoba in that there are like 8 things on the menu, and it is made fresh when you order. You pretty much get a regular or little burger, cheeseburger or bacon cheeseburger, regular or large regular/Cajun fries. My bill was $8 for a regular cheeseburger (which somehow has two patties) and Cajun fries. "All the way" is ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles, fried mushrooms and fried onions.

-The kitchen is open like at a Subway or whatever, and you can see the 13 employees gather 'round to make your burger. They literally put the unfrozen patty on the griddle when I ordered it, which is nice.

-Lots of white trash in the building, which may be redundant for the place I call home.

-It took about 3 minutes to get that thing made. I looked online and figure I inhaled about 1,500 calories.

-They put your order in a bag of medium-ish size whether it is here or to go. They put your regular fries in a normal size cup, and your burger in the bag. And then the FILL THE FUCKING BAG WITH FRIES. It is insane. And they are like fresh cut potato fries too.

-I'm generally not a big burger guy going out. I feel like I can make my own better, which is pretty unusual for any food. The notable exception is Kroll's.

-For what it is (fast casual or whatever) it is goddamn good. It is basically the Chipolte of burger restaurants, which is a huge compliment since I love Chipotle. I just like burritos more than I like burgers.

-CONCLUSION: I'm a little bit overwhelmed right now (I just took a dump post-Whitney Center style. UW-L shout out!!). It isn't the type of place I would go to on a regular basis because a) contrary to popular belief, I'm not a pig; b) It is SO much food; c) Given a choice of going out for bad food fast, I'm probably still going pizza or burritos; d) it is really far from my house, and I'm lazy. With that said, I would go back. I would like to play around with toppings. They offer such things as: hot sauce, jalapenos and A-1 sauce. Maybe if I didn't need the help of my pet midget Al to help me hold the burger, I would like it even more.

On a scale of McDonald's (the worst restaurant on the planet) (1)to Black & Tan (where I've had my best meal ever) (10), I would put it at a 6.5, which is a step below Chipotle, and a step above Culver's. But I think there is potential to get it up to Chipotle range. I bet if I was drunk it would be even better.