Sunday, April 25, 2010

I Obviously Can't Be Trusted

So yesterday, against my better judgment, I went shopping with my wife. I don't much enjoy shopping, but there are worse things I could do. Plus, I was convinced by going out to eat afterwards. My wife (and most females I imagine) need to try clothes on before they buy them. So much of the shopping trip is spend lingering outside her dressing room waiting for her to show me what it looks like. Everything always looks good, and about 10% of the time she believes me. The act of lingering near the dressing room is always a little awkward for me because there is never a comfortable place to sit/stand, and I'm usually the only guy around. I won't go into the area if there isn't a place to sit, but if there is a place to sit, I'll do it. So last night we are at Ann Taylor. I'm saying the name of the store because I'm bitter. There was a comfy chair literally right in front of her dressing room, facing her dressing room. While I was waiting for her to show me stuff, I was also staring at my Blackberry checking out the latest draft results and NBA scores. And then it happened...One of the lovely (and by lovely I mean fat, wrinkly and old) associates at Ann Taylor came up to me and fucking asked me to leave because it "makes some of the women uncomfortable". First of all, I was obviously there with my wife. Second, there are fucking doors on the dressing rooms. Third, its not like the caught me on my tiptoes peering over the top of the door of some strange dressing room. Fourth, there was no sign or anything. Fifth, I was jacking myself off through the pocket in my pants, its not like I had it out and was shaking it at strangers.

I was fucking livid. It took every bit of good sense I had to not cause a scene by either a) telling my wife to get her shit and get out of here. b) tell the lady to fuck herself.

The bottom line is that people at Ann Taylor hate men, and my wife is no longer allowed to shop there.


The Bucks kicked the shit out of Atlanta last night. I kind of wish I would've went now. The crowd was AWESOME. I fully expect to lose in 5, but it was fun to watch. It was also fun to watch the Thunder kill the Lakers.


I really, really hate the Cubs. There is nothing more annoying than being down 4 in the bottom of the ninth and it sounds like you are on the road. I just hope some FIBS got a good beatdown in the parking lot afterwards or got their Lexus SUV broken into.


gotwinkies said...

How was the babysitting? I expected some update on that. I feel cheated.

Juicelaw said...

It was fine. Nobody got stepped on or dropped or anything. Mrs. Juice caught Ebola from one of the kiddies. I am immune.