Tired of Uncle Sam

Tax season is officially (well I guess only technically, you could be one of those idiots in line at the post office at 11:58 p.m.) over. If you haven't guessed by past posts, my real job involves taxes for a few months per year. By real job, I mean the one I get sort of paid to do. Unlike my other jobs, which include: blogger, professional asshole, guy who bitches a lot, sports enthusiast, video game participant, beer connoisseur, and sex machine (just ask Sports Bottle). Unfortunately, I rather enjoy the jobs I do not get paid for, and not so much the one I do get paid for. I'm probably like 99.9% of America in those regards. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that I'm waiting patiently for the residuals that Bear has assured me are in the mail, to start rolling in, and for UCSB616's job offer from Herm Edwards and ESPN.

While I wait, I'm going to make an effort to post more. You've heard it before, I've said it before, and it probably isn't any more true this time. Fuck off. As the other "members" of this blog can likely attest to, it is much harder to come up with stuff to write about than it looks like. Said task has been made harder by the advent of Facebook (in 2001, member since 2010!) and Twitter (homeless people were on before I was). I tend to waste one or two potentially great blog topics on a 120 character zinger. Which is funny because it isn't that much funnier when I stretch it into 10,000 words. Meaning perhaps I should stick to Tweets. Fuck it, I'm not going to do that.

I have found that baseball is a very easy sport to blog about, because something new happens every day. I love to blog about the Brewers, especially when something terrible happens like last weekend. I'm much more efficient being negative.

We are 15 games in, and the Crew is 7-8. Can't say I'm that disappointed. Looking at the schedule, I would've expected about 8-7 at this point. Really, we could be 12-3 or some such, but such is the fickle nature of baseball. I realized this evening as I was watching Rickie Weeks fuck up a simple double play against the Phillies which eventually led to a 1-0 deficit, that I haven't blogged about my least favorite Brewer yet this year. There are many candidates, but first I should get the qualifications out of the way. It needs to be a player that routinely seems to fuck up, and/or play well below their physical gifts/potential. This player also needs to play much, much more than is warranted, and would lead one to wonder if they have some kind of nude photo of the manager and/or the manager's daughter to use as black mail. In the Ned Yost years (other than Ned Yost himself) my least favorite Brewers were: Rickie Weeks (who has since totally redeemed himself and become one of my favorites), Jeff Suppan (who stick sucks donkey cock), Derrick Turnbow (aka Turnblow) and Eric Gagne. See, it is much easier to hate closers because they have such an obvious effect on game outcomes. I hated Weeks because Yost would stick him in the leadoff spot even though he hit about .200, and he was an abortion at 2B. I hated Suppan because he was terrible.

Right now, the following are on my list: Randy Wolf, Carlos Gomez, Mark Kotsay, Yuni Bettancourt and Erick Almonte. I'm taking Wolf off the list because he dominated in his last outing. I'm removing Kotsay and Almonte because even though they are truly terrible, they are fill in players, and will eventually be in Nashville or bagging groceries. I don't have a great feel yet for Yuni. He doesn't seem to do anything very well, but his suckiness might just be so absolute that I don't realize how bad he actually is. Plus, I had really low expectations for the Yuni era. That leaves me with Carlos Gomez. Gomez is fast, and he plays reasonably good defense (mostly because he's fast). But he is a moron. He is a terrible baserunner despite his ridiculous speed. He can't hit ATT ALL (he just got an RBI double as I type this), and Roenicke keeps sticking him at the 2 spot. He frustrates me to no end. In addition, he's got Tony fucking Plush, who is nearly as good on defense, probably as fast or faster, is a good baserunner, and can actually put the bat on the ball. In short, he's got Plushdamentals. I hate that Gomez plays over Plush for no reason.

On to this weekend again. What a disaster. Swept by a bad team. Can't happen. And what the fuck is up with Yo? He was awful yesterday. We have to get the game tonight because we get Halladay and Lee the next two games. And we can't get swept again.

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

-CP3 is fucking awesome. Lakers will still win the series, relax.

-I purchased the new albums from Foo Fighters and Rise Against this weekend. The new Foo is absurdly good. The Rise Against album is solid too. One thing about Rise Against, and I've only heard the album before this one and maybe I didn't dissect it, but it seems like almost every song on this album is a political anthem. I didn't get that from the last album (although there were certainly a few). The music is great, but it is sort of a stressful and intense listen. No?

-Beer of the night: Mighty Arrow, the spring seasonal from New Belgium. A tasty pale ale if you are into it.

-Weather is calling for 6 to 10 inches of snow. This could be its own blog post. It is fucking April 18th. Seriously UCSB616, don't fucking move from California permanently. I realize there are a lot of problems there. But the weather is perfect. As awesome as we are in the midwest, the weather isn't worth it. It isn't. It is almost fucking May and I don't feel comfortable putting away my snowblower. Also, it was 40 with 30mph wind today.

-I did about 2 seconds of research. It seems that Tony Plush was created by Nyjer Morgan. The twitter feed is obviously not him, but he is a fascinating dude.