The First "Dom"ino?

So word is that the Pack has finally hired someone to be defensive coordinator, and that someone is Dom Capers. I'm satisfied with that selection. Statistics say he was the best choice all along, and he is definitely a proven commodity as a defensive coordinator. It is unknown whether he will run a 3-4, 4-3, hybrid 3-4/4-3 or a 2-2-7 (the only defense the Packers have the personnel to run). But I think what makes me the most excited is that with the hiring of a coach that could run a 3-4, could come the signing of a freak of an athlete named Julius Peppers, who wants to play in a 3-4. Capers gives the Packers the scheme, to go along with the piles of money lying around that they have to sign him. History does not suggest Ted Thompson will actually pull the trigger on this. But at this point, Green Bay has to be the favorite, don't they? All of this assumes Carolina doesn't give Peppers the middle finger and franchise him. However, Carolina supposedly has to choose between Peppers and all-world left tackle Jordan Gross (one will be a free agent). So if they franchise Peppers, I say we sign Gross.

The moral of this whole story is that Dom Capers is the first piece to the puzzle that is going to lead to a Super Bowl title next year.

Worthless, Uninformed and Biased Thoughts

-It is snowing like fucking crazy, and one of my asshole neighbors is outside shoveling it, as it piles up behind him.

-The Jays are currently down 11-3 to Witchita St., who isn't very good.

-Went to dinner last night and I see one of my neighbors, she says hi, then a dude who I think is her husband is walking behind her and I say hi, and he looks at me like I'm retarded. Turns out it was my neighbor's twin brother.

-I built a shelf in the basement today. I give it a week before it falls over.

-I wish I could hire Gus Johnson to announce my bedroom performance. How much do you think he charges for 30 seconds?

-Wow. The UCLA cheerleaders are hot.

-I bet Sports Bottle is being a bitch and is hung over and not drinking right now. Worm is sleeping. Spensley is blacked out drunk, and is either wandering around by himself, or is in jail.

-I signed Kobe as a free agent on NBA 2k9 to the Bucks.

-Kinda surprised Chucky got shitcanned in Tampa. The Glazer family better watch the fuck out. Chucky never dies!

-Clemson starts out 17-0 every year, then goes 2-13 the rest of the year and goes to the NIT.

TV REVIEWS:

-24: rad. The biggest problem I am having is with Jenine Garraffalo (and I'm quite sure I didn't spell it right, but I don't give a fuck). I can't take her seriously. She is a terrible actress. When is President David Palmer coming back from the dead? He is about the only one that hasn't. He is the biggest badass is TV presidential history.

-FNL: pretty good first episode. I was positive that Lila was a senior last year, but I guess 25 year old seniors are plausible. I guess it is also plausible that Buddy Garrity is trying to get a fucking HD jumbotron built at a high school field in bum-fuck Texas. Or that a high school freshman could possibly be better than a high school senior, who was last year's starter. Best line of the week: "You are a rebound guy from Jesus."

-The Office: great as usual. Line of the week: "Guys fight over me all the time. Usually it is over who gets to hold the camcorder."

BOOK REVIEW:

-"Men With Balls" by Drew Magery. Pretty funny book. Written as a handbook to prospective pro athletes. I would recommend it.

-I am starting to read "Downtown Owl" by Chuck Klosterman. This is his first fiction book. His other ones are spectacular.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PICKS:

Last Week: 1-3

Playoffs: 4-4

Season: 132-125-7

This Week: Ariz (+3 1/2), Pit (-6)

Packer's D-Coordinator Search

I just read this on JSOnline and was sort of astounded. Not that I was ever crazy about the idea of Jim Haslett running my defense, but now I am far less so. I wish someone with more time than me would do a similar comparison with the other remaining candidates.



My prediction: McCarthy is waiting on someone who is a coach on one of the remaining four teams.

For some reason this cracked me up...

"Woods posted a short statement on his Web site to say he would speak at "We Are One," a concert and celebration that will be broadcast live on HBO and feature entertainers such as Beyonce, U2, Stevie Wonder and Garth Brooks, along with appearances by Denzel Washington and Martin Luther King III."

Ok, I'll give you Bono. I understand he is very liberal and part of alot of alot of movements (like my bowel movement).

But Garth fucking Brooks?

Why don't we just get Hank Williams Jr.

Anybody know if Mark Furhman is available?

Witch's Titty

It is frigid as fuck outside right now. -17 degrees (not counting the wind chill). I realize that 90% of the people reading this (at least) are dealing with similar problems. It is getting to the point where my vehicle is being adversely affected even after it has been driven for 30 minutes. You want to know what else is cold? The fucking Wisconsin Badgers. That shit last night was an abomination on so many levels. The blueprint to beat Bucky was laid out last night: 1) use a trapping, full court press, 2) make circus shots for 15 straight minutes, 3) force the Badgers to shoot under 25%. Do all that and you can beat the Badgers in Madison. I really, really like Bo Ryan, and kills me to say what I'm about to say. I think he SUCKS at adjusting during the game. He relys on his "system", and thinks that if the Badgers just look down and run their swing, that eventually the other team will get frustrated and make mistakes. And it usually works. It worked for most of the game last night too. But sometimes you have to adjust your game a bit. Like when the other team is trapping your point guard full court. I'm no coach, but I've watched/played enough basketball to understand that the way to break a press is not to let your point guard get trapped 25 feet from mid court, and have the other 4 guys stand underneath the basket waiting for him to dribble by and start the offense. Fucking pass the ball before you get trapped, if they over pursue, beat them deep, it isn't fucking rocket science. We were able to break a press in 6th grade, with the worst team on planet earth. Fuck! That wasn't the only reason they lost. The other was that once they broke a press, their inability to not have every layup/dunk blocked in the last 5 minutes (at least 5 of them). Or when they could run offense, passing it around for 30 seconds, and then have Hughes try a driving layup through 4 defenders, or a contested 3. On top of that, the Goophs were possessed on offense, making every backwards layup they threw up, and every 3 they needed to make in the last minute. It was really a perfectly shitty storm, but that press break is not excusable. Minnesota is far more talented, but Wisconsin is a better "team". If UW doesn't figure this kind of stuff out, Michigan St. will win by 40 if they trap. This is the kind of loss that could completely destroy thier season, when they look back two months from now and are 5-10 in the Big Ten.

Wow, that was a long paragraph.

Friday Night Lights is BACK tonight!

Cool and Not Cool

I am starting a bi-annual post (or however often I feel like doing it) entitled "Cool" and "Not Cool" to recap current events.

Cool

- showing up half-naked for a singing audition to ensure that you will make it to the next round

Not Cool

- acting like you're hot shit and popping off to the new hot judge

Cool

- Creighton winning in OT last night in what was likely a very exciting, intense game

Not Cool

- not listening to the game so you can spend some "quality" time with your wife to catch up on American idol (ALso Not Cool are Creighton's 4 losses on the year, 3 by a combined total of 5 points)

Cool

- taking second place in the OJSFA and winning 100 bones

Not Cool

- having the league manager (who won 3 times as much money I may add) hold your funds hostage so he can earn interest income off of them

Cool

- winning 0ver 150 clams in fake sports league after only paying 60 for entry fees

Not Cool

- using your winnings to buy your wife an IPOD (but I love her so I'm going to)

Cool

- The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux sweeping the UM Golden Gophers in college hockey

Not Cool

- Acting like you understand and follow hockey, just so you can say you root for your home state team (where I was born, not where I live now)

Cool

- only having like 3 appointments all week (and getting paid the same)

Not Cool

- only having like 3 appointments all week (and not generating any cash for "The Firm")

Cool

- Tim Tebow helping out with things around the world

Not Cool

- Announcers proclaiming that he is the second coming of mine and Sport's Bottles Christ

That's all for now. Feel free to expand (as I'm sure you all will).

Sports Illustrated Preview

Good god. I realize Barack Obama plays hoops. But, Jesus Christ, do I have to hear about it ALL THE TIME? Don't worry, I won't enter into a long political diatribe, partly due to the fact I don't typically discuss politics and partly because of the strong liberal current running through this blog, but the media circle jerk over Obama is never ending. He hasn't done anything yet. Save the nut busting at least until he's in office.

As you all should be well aware, I depart for Las Vegas in just over 24 hours. This means I will be betting heavily (my 'heavily', not degenerate gambler 'heavily') on the AFC/NFC Championship games. Probably around $50/game on assorted over/unders, prop bets and money line bets. I haven't decided how I'm going with the Ravens/Steelers. But I'm excited about that game. I'm definitely betting on the Eagles. I think they're gonna win by at least 17 and I heard the line is maybe 2.5. Really? Also, I hear there's a UFC event in London this weekend. I am not a UFC fan in the sense that I know next to nothing about it. I'm pretty big into boxing but never got into the MMA craze.

I cannot put into words how much I hate the long dreadlock look. It looks fucking ridiculous and we'll see two of the worst on Sunday - Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Palomoulululululululu.

SI Players NBA Poll - I'm gonna let you guys try to answer this, and don't cheat. The question posed to NBA players was, "Which NBA player would you least like to mess with?" The top answer received 46%. Second place got 17%. Those were the only two with double digit percentages. Can you guess the two? #1 is pretty obvious.

About fucking time Jim Rice made it into the Hall of Fame. And, while I'm on the subject, my all time favorite athlete also made it in, Rickey Henderson, because Rickey Henderson is the greatest Rickey Henderson and he's more Rickey Henderson than any other Rickey Henderson. Truthfully, though, he was my idol. I was a leadoff base stealer through high school and I wore #24.

Dan Patrick interviews Utah head coach Kyle Whittingham. Kudos to Whittingham for voting the Utes #1. They have a legitimate claim. It always works well for the BCS when teams like Utah go undefeated but get smoked in whatever bowl they play. This year it didn't happen. Anything that fucks the BCS makes me happy.

The return of Golf Plus!!! I entered the fantasy golf league that Bear posted. Didn't have a great first week but I'm just warming up.

54% of America's top 100 golf teachers say Tiger will be better when he comes back, which I hear could be for the Accenture Match Play next month.

SI predicts Steelers 20-Ravens 13. Pretty high scoring in my opinion. I'll go Steelers 17 - Ravens 6. For the other game they have Eagles 24 - Cardinals 19. That's horseshit. I have Eagles 31 - Cardinals 13.

WOW, Jake Delhomme laid a monster egg. That's the stuff the end of careers are made of.

Oh no....... The only person the media loves more than Obama right now is????????????? You guessed it, Superman Tim TEBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do think it's pretty sweet he's coming back. Reminds me of another big white guy from another sport on a certain college basketball team that came back for his senior year.

SI's 2009 College Football top 10 is already out. Florida #1, Texas #2 and so on.

Focus - D-Wade. He's pretty fucking good. Leads the NBA in scoring. He averages almost 3 steals and 1.5 blocks per game. Impressive.

Apparently Illinois is the most surprising college basketball team team in the nation's most surprising conference. Fuck Illinois and fuck the Big Ten. I hope North Carolina goes through the Big Ten's best again to get to the NCAA Championship game like they did in 2005. Speaking of UNC, I was completely caught off guard by how much "undefeated season" talk was going on prior to them losing to BC. And now they've lost twice. I'm not the least bit concerned. They'll end up with a #1 seed.

Other thoughts -

I completely agree with Juice's assessment of the Dungy situation. It's very comparable to when someone famous dies. That person is ALWAYS the greatest person who ever lived. I know nothing about Dungy other than what I hear on SportsCenter. But who knows if maybe he whacks it to kiddie porn and kills baby seals? I'm not saying he does, but none of us actually know.

I'm not afraid to admit the new season of 24 has sucked me right back in. Tell me you don't want to bend that chick FBI agent over. Holy fuck she's hot. Being a member of the law enforcement community makes that show hard to watch sometimes. The scene where the dirty FBI agent is checking the basement for that sniper is ridiculous. A single person would NEVER NEVER NEVER be allowed to search for a fucking SNIPER by himself on a floor of a large building. So that part was extremely frustrating. But, luckily for me, I'm able to ignore most of that stuff in this show.

I really don't care too much for the Trevor Hoffman signing. Not that I think it's a bad signing. But, like I said before, I just don't think he's gonna make that much of a difference. I hope I'm wrong.

I heard a sports talk radio dude say Corey Hart faded down the stretch last year. I thought that was funny because he's wrong. Corey Hart faded before the stretch. He was completely irrelevant in the 2nd half of the season.

I listen to most Bucks games on the radio (the radio announcers are fantastic, by the way) but last night I saw them on tv for one of the only times so far this year. Tell me, does Michael Redd look a little fat? Joe Alexander looked pretty good, except the incredibly ugly last second 3 to tie. I hear the Bucks may be auditioning him for some sort of trade to the Grizzlies? I don't know what that's about.

Juice, have you picked a Vegas date yet? I hope the wife's permission is still in effect.

Tony Dungy: (Random Superlative)!

So now that the media fawning over Tony Dungy (aka the black Tim Tebow) is mostly finished, I thought I would take a shot at commenting on the commenting. Tony Dungy was a pretty good coach. He took a team with a hall of fame quarterback in the Colts, and a team with at least two hall of fame defensive players on it in the Bucs, and won a whole mess of regular season games. He also won a Super Bowl, which is not something alot of coaches can say, and he went to the playoffs like 10 years in a row, which I guess is a record. Dungy also seems to be a nice enough guy, respectful, mild mannered, all that. Finally, he was the first black coach to win a Super Bowl. He is a borderline hall of famer, but probably not a shoo-in like everyone makes him out to be. And that is one of the places that all of this fawning got a little out of control, and it always happens. Person A retires, media ignores every negative thing that every happened, therefore person A is the greatest person, and greatest player/coach ever.

As I said, Dungy has a legitimate claim to the HOF. But to give him a free pass is to ignore alot of his team's postseason failings.

The other thing I have a problem with is the talk about how Dungy is the greatest person on the face of the earth. Dungy is a man of god (allegedly), does charity work, says the right things, etc. But the general public doesn't know Tony Dungy, just as we didn't know Michael Vick, or O.J. Simpson (he didn't do anything), or Marvin Harrison (allegedly). So I don't know how it is automatically assumed that Dungy has no flaws because he goes to church and does some charity. You may remember, I believe during his Super Bowl run, that Tony was speaking on behalf of an anti-gay group. Yet you never hear this brought up in connection with how great of a person he is, yet in 2009, I'm pretty sure that hating gay people (Jesus says its wrong!) doesn't fall under the definition of "great person". I'm just saying that we don't know anything about Tony Dungy. He may very well be a great person. But he might be electrocuting dogs in h is spare time too. So lets relax on the greatest coach/greatest person of all time stuff.

Vegas?

So yesterday, the wife and I were discussing my blackjack dominance and somehow the prospect of me getting permission to go to Vegas with the Sports Bottle on the next of his 8 yearly trips came up. I am happy to report that I have been granted "soft" permission to go. I say "soft" meaning that the timing would have to be right, etc. But this is definitely a move in the right direction. As far as I am concerned I am going. So start planning your next trip now. I can't go before June 1st (no vacation until then) for sure, and not between Jan 1st and April 15th (work restrictions), so there are pretty much no good times to go, but keep me posted either way. I can smell the Spearmint Rhino calling my name.

Best of Times/Worst of Times

I just wanted to follow up that fucking spectacular Tebow post, with a few thoughts about the greatest human being on the planet. This shit is getting to proportions that we haven't seen since a certain former Green Bay Packers quarterback. I hear the following comments by Thom Brenneman on the game Thursday night (not word for word exact). Referred to Tebow as "The unquestioned greatest leader in college football today." Said, "Tim Tebow is just a fantastic human being. If you get 20 minutes to spend with Tim Tebow, your life will never be the same."/Puked in my mouth.

Random NFL picks:

Last week: 3-1

Ten (-3), Car (-9 1/2), NYG (-4), Pit (-6)

I'm actually going to get to watch!

On one hand, P.J. Hill is a retard for going into the NFL. On the other hand I am ecstatic that he is leaving so he can stop poaching unwarranted carries from John Clay and Zach Brown (along with whatever terrific freshman running back is incoming). He has been getting carries based only on his performance as a freshman, which leads me to another shocking discovery. HE IS ONLY A JUNIOR?????? Holy fucking shit. Next year, we are naming the all-guys we feel like have been in college football for at least ten years team, the P.J. Hill All-Stars. I mean, he played alongside Ron Dayne in the Rose Bowl in 1999 didn't he? Anyway, he is slow, injury prone and fat, will be about a 7th round pick, and be bagging groceries next year.

Finally, the wife and I went to local Native American gambling establishment last night with my wife's sister and her husband. The wife and I bellied up to the $5 blackjack tables with $25 each. My sister in-law and husband were too intimidated and "didn't know how to play". (????) I haven't been to the casino in GB since I was 18 and they changed the age to 21 about a month later. I think what struck me the most was that it smelled of cigarettes worse than any place I've ever been in my life, and everyone there was old, poor or Asian. Strange experience. Anyway, I turned my $25 into $60 in about an hour. Cash money.

Maybe Tim Tebow isn't such a nice guy after all!

That was a good game last night. Moderately entertaining. I even learned a few worldy things during the game like "there are small children in the Phillipines named after Tim Tebow." After hearing the 439,689 reference to Superman's great mission trips to the Phillipines, I began to ponder. I came up with this horrible thought that what if one of these small children grew up to be an extreme islamic jihadist. ANd the same SOB terrorist attacked our country again. THen, all over the World there would be postings that read "WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: TIM TEBOW" Aliases include "TIM GURKISTAN, TIM FAHEED, TIM ULEAKAMADEKE AND TIM "The Shiek". Then, people will be like "Isn't that the same name of that overrated quarterback who was the number 1 pick in the 2009 draft and played a few average seasons in the NFL and who had the insanely hot girlfriend with big jugs?"

But, what a nice guy, volunteering his time and all. Did I mention that he took a mission trip to the Phillipines?

Jagz, Pacman, Nolan and Hells Bells

I would be remiss if I didn't discuss a few ridiculous stories that are peculating today.

1) Jeff Jagodzinski getting shit canned at B.C. I'm going to go ahead and ask why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. A few things are obviously true: 1) Jagz knew that he would be fired if he interviewed with the Jets, 2) He did it anyway, 3) He was fired. Everything else is sort of irrelevant. I have heard that he had a clause in his contract stating this very fact. Whether he did or not, this is how the real world works, even though D-I college athletics is about as far from the real world as there is. If I went to interview for another job and my boss found out, I would expect to be a)fired or b) have my boss make my life so miserable that I would quit. I don't fault Jagz for trying to get a better job. Its America. I'm quite certain about 90% of people with jobs are looking for new ones. But to freak out on the employer for firing them is stupid. Admittedly the situation is not really a normal one with a college coach given the regular turnover, but if BC wanted a coach to stay in it for the long haul, they had every right to let him go.

2) Pacman got cut. Good for the Cowboys. What killed me about the story is that I was watching SportsCenter last night when the story broke, and ESPN essentially took credit for being the straw that broke the camel's back. This "new information" regarding the hit that he allegedly ordered in 2007 that was somehow unknown to anyone previously, was going to be reported by ESPN on "Outside the Lines" on Sunday. According to SportsCenter, Jerry Jones first heard of it when ESPN called to ask for a comment and "coincidentally" they cut Pacman like an hour later. Funny how ESPN is willing to take credit for shit like this, that probably didn't have any effect on Jones's decision (I mean really? One tie to an attempted murder was OK, but TWO? Two is where the Cowboys draw the line.), yet when they totally fuck up they refuse to take any blame (No examples to cite).

3) I fully support the hiring of Mike Nolan for D-coordinator. By all accounts he is a spectacular coordinator. Plus he is a snazzy dresser. It isn't official yet, so I'm guessing the rumors/positive reaction is going to be enough to convince Thompson not to hire him. Plus it seems way to high profile for the Pack. But if he gets it, I think he can figure out what the team is really capable of doing, and he won't cram a 3-4 down our throats with a bunch of guys that can't play it. Maybe we could run a 2-1-8?

4)Just got word that the Brewers signed 137 year old Trevor Hoffman and his 48 mph change up. That is a BIG signing. He is the most reliable closer we have had since Coco, and probably Dan Pleasac before that. Now if he could only start 30+ games too, we would be set to go. He has the best entrance music since Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn.