Minneapolis Weatherman (Wow).

Your average, everyday, Viking fan. Enjoy battling Detroit for last place.

Mike Cameron is a Bad, Bad Man

3-4, double, 2 runs.

Look, I realize this is only one game, but if we can get even SOME of the same production, it is going to be an upgrade over whatever Gabe we have in CF. What struck me about him was how ANGRY he seemed. It was like someone that looked like a baseball spiked his energy drink with banned stimulants and now he was going to take it out on that ball. My wife actually had to turn away from the TV at one point because she was afraid of him.

Finally some clutch hitting and good bullpen play. Which offset the two things the Crew had been able to do all year and didn't last night: starting pitching (Sheets was not good) and Defense (Hall was wretched).

Scoreboard bitches.

Proof that Cubs fans are terrible people...

*Author's note: This is a semi-old story, however it wasn't very well publicized so I'm putting it in anyways*

Kosuke Fukudome is a tremendous athlete. He sees the ball very well, he eats pitch counts, he has power, he's not a liability on defense and he's even shown a little speed from time to time. He could very well be the difference maker between the Cubs only winning the division last year, to them winning a NL pennant and advancing to the World Series. Surely the Cubs fans must be grateful to have this athlete, whom they acquired as a free agent signing, i.e. they had to give up no one to put him on their team.

The photograph I've included is a picture of a T-shirt sold by a vendor outside of Wrigley Field. The Sun-Times ran an article about it on April 18th and were immediately flooded by angry e-mails from readers. The next day Cubs officials asked the vendor to stop selling the t-shirt, using the argument that it contained a copyrighted logo. However before he was asked to stop selling the shirt, the vendor, Mark Kolbusz, claimed it was his top selling item so far this season.

Just goes to show you the level of appreciation Cubs fans have for their players...

Brewers v. Cubs Series Preview

I don't normally like to do this, but Brewers/Cubs holds special significance in that I want to punch random people on the streets in the face when I see they are wearing Cubs gear. It frustrates me to no end that there are so many bandwagon fucking Cubs fans in Wisconsin, and nobody can give me a good reason for it.

Wrigley is also a pile of shit. There. I said it.

GAME 1: Sheets v. Marquis: The return of Sheets from the DL and Cameron from the SL (steroids list). Sheets has been ridiculous this year (0.97 ERA) and I don't see any reason the Crew shouldn't win when he pitches.

GAME 2: Soup v. Dempster: No way the Brewers sweep (in fact I would be thrilled with 2 of 3), so Cubs win this one.

GAME 3: Yo v. Hill: Gallardo has been more ridiculous than Sheets in his two starts (0.64 ERA). He is probably nearly as good as Sheets when both are on their game.

There it is, Crew takes 2 of 3. Place your bets now. (Note: This only applies if my plot to kidnap Yost and replace him with a blowup doll succeeds.)

Great Moments In Cubs History

You know it's a high quality rant when Chicago Public Radio commemorates it's 25th anniversary.

Enjoy!!!

ESPN's "Titletown" = Blasphemy

In one of the more ridiculous things ESPN has ever done, they have taken it upon themselves to take the "Titletown U.S.A." tag away from Green Bay. I'm not sure who ESPN thinks they are, but I'm fairly certain they don't have this authority. In fact, I would be willing to be that the government of the City of Green Bay, and the good folks at wikipedia might have a problem with this. (Everything on Wikipedia is true and accurate).

And consider the destruction that will be rained upon Bristol, CT when the ghost of Ray Nitschke gets ahold of Chris Berman and co. I shudder at the thought.

Now, I realize that this is just another ESPN shenanigan to get ratings or whatever ("Who's Now?") and this won't ever actually stick to whomever Red Sox and Yankees fan feel is Titletown, but I still fell like this is a shitty thing for them to do.

In closing, I took the liberty of other nicknames that the overlords at ESPN will be taking away from cities because they apparently have the power to do so.

1) "The Windy City"-Chicago: Fuck Chicago, that's why. I heard it is pretty goddamn windy in Laramie, WY.

2) "The Big Apple"- New York

3) "The City of Brotherly Love"- Philly

4) "America's Team"- Dallas Cowboys: OK, I know this isn't the same thing, but this has always struck me as being a crock of shit. At least Green Bay had something to back up Titletown, U.S.A. It is pretty presumptuous to assume that everybody in fucking America roots for you. I'm sure there is a study of this somewhere, and I am certain that someone else has a better claim. Probably even Green Bay. (I don't see any Cowboy bars in Green Bay, but I bet without doing research that there is more than one Packer bar in Dallas). Also, fuck the Cowboys.

5) "The Big Easy" - New Orleans: There are whores elsewhere.

Voting begins soon!

Waste Management

It sure seems like the Twins have picked the correct place to build their new stadium. After all, some tainted ballpark dirt from the construction site has ended up near the Minnesota River.

Couple this with the fact that the new park will be within smelling distance of a garbage burning plant (it only smells after it rains, great) and the 2010 Twins will be playing their home games in HASMAT suits and oxygen masks. You gotta love outdoor baseball!!!

A gaping, smelly void in my life

No Brewer game. At least it will be stress free.

Oh, and just so our zero readers know, I pretty much hate everything that doesn't involve one of my teams. So don't expect me to say anything good about them.

Speaking of gaping smelly voids: Did you hear about Clemens banging that 15 year old (allegedly)?

Richard Spielman & the none-use of draft picks

While Juice took a look at the Green Bay Packers draft and wondered aloud about the validity of their selections, I will now look at the Minnesota Vikings to see how they fared (I don't like Wisconsin teams!!!). It seemed to me that the Vikings were paranoid about losing a player that they had targeted. They traded up in the second and fifth rounds to get their players, all at the expense of other draft picks. It's not like we are one player away from the super bowl, this is a team that finished 8-8 last year. We need all of the good/cheap young talent that we can find. It seems like the Vikings, a team that normally does a decent job identifying needs and talent, have sacrificed some valuable young players for the sake of their draft board. That being said, here is a rundown of their selections.

1st round: Of course this went to Kansas City in the Jared Allen trade. While I can't argue with acquiring a stud defensive end, especially since Derrick Harvey went 8th overall to Jacksonville for a 1st, two 3rds and a 4th, it seems like the Vikings and their fans may have raised the expectations too much. After all Tarvaris Jackson is still the starting quarterback. I'm not saying that Vikings should have looked quarterback with their first round pick, I'm just saying that the 2008 season will be defined by the quarterback play, not the defensive end. All the Super Bowl talk needs to go away until the Vikings prove that they can actually, you know, win more games than they lose.

2nd round: The Vikings selected S Tyrell Johnson from Arkansas St. I have no problems with this pick, it's just the manner in which they used it. The Vikings traded up four spots, in front of the rival Detroit Lions and Chicago Bears, to select a safety. I was expecting them to take Chad Henne or Brian Brohm. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I heard Johnson's name called. The Vikings have a strong team, but need some insurance at quarterback (Gus Frerotte doesn't count, no matter what Tommy says about him). Now we have a backup safety to take Darren Sharper's job in 2009. We had to trade up to get this?*

*Of course they had to trade up. Johnson was rated 17th on the Vikings board.

3rd round: Oh yeah, the Vikings didn't have a third round pick. We traded both of them.

4th round: Oh yeah, the Vikings didn't have a fourth round pick. We traded it.

5th round: We got our quarterback. I couldn't be happier. I love taking quarterbacks that were successful at big time colleges. John David Booty is exactly the kind of quarterback the Vikings needed to come away with. He's much more ready to make an impact than say, Joe Flacco of Delaware.** Of course the Vikings had to trade up to get him. Let's hope he has a great pre-season so he can become the starting quarterback sooner than later. Even so, Booty is a quarterback that was taken in the fifth round. Maybe I should temper my expectations a tiny bit. I just can't shake the feeling that he is already better than Tarvaris Jackson.

**The only other players from the University of Delaware in the NFL are TE Ben Patrick of Arizona and S Mike Adams of Cleveland. Can we say football powerhouse!!!

5th round: Wow another pick. Letroy Guion DT from Florida St. From what I've been told, he is the single biggest reason for the resurrection of Florida St. football. Great pick!!!

6th round: Wow two more picks. Although I can't say that I know anything about either player the Vikings selected. It does seem like they drafted a potential replacement for the superb Matt Birk. Oh yeah, and a potential kick returner from Jackson St. Whatever.

7th round: Fittingly, the Vikings had no picks in the 7th round. They were, of course, traded.

Overall, I think it was a so so performance. The Vikings came away with some seemingly useful players and a bona fide defensive end. It just seems like they could have done more.


P.S. Like Juice, I will use the royal we when discussing these teams: Minnesota Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves, Gophers, and of course the St. Louis Rams. R-A-M-S! Rams! Rams! Rams!

How Ned Yost chooses his lineup for games...

I pulled this little tidbit directly from the Yahoo Sports news and notes about Bill Hall.

"3B Bill Hall was out of the starting lineup Sunday despite collecting five hits in the previous two games. Manager Ned Yost wanted to give either Hall or 2B Rickie Weeks the day off to let INF Craig Counsell see some action. Yost put the names of Hall and Weeks in a baseball cap and had Hall pick to see who would be out of the lineup. Hall picked his own name, and thus had to sit."

I haven't been too bad of a Yost basher in the past, I've questioned some of his decisions, especially concerning how he manages our starting pitching. The frightening part of this whole scenario is that I'm not even really surprised that this is how he made his decision. Instead of going through his lineup and making a rational decision based on recent stats, who they were going up against and who needed a day off, he just chose to randomly pick a name out of a hat.

Maybe this wasn't the worst way to handle the situation, basically taking away some of the potential backlash from the players who might have to miss a start. At some point however, you are the manager and they are the players, if a player is struggling on the field, shouldn't they understand if they have to sit a day because of it? I wonder how Yost decided which starting pitcher he was going to option down to Nashville, arm wrestling tournament between Manny Parra, Carlos Villanueva, and Dave Bush?

Maybe instead of having his throwing mechanics mucked around with during spring training, Yost should have been having Bush practice his arm wrestling technique to keep his spot in the rotation.

Theodore Thompson and the Questionable Use of Draft Picks

Ted Thompson is surely a much smarter man than me. At least in regards to football, I would assume. My experience as an NFL GM is based on years of making sketchy trades, and being able to tell if 85 is more than 82 in Madden. That is what makes the NFL Draft so interesting when Thompson is prominently involved. Lets take a look at a couple of the decisions made:

1) Trading down from 30. Not a bad move at all. Probably assumed their guy would be available at 36....

2) I guess he was, because he picked a guy I hadn't heard of in Jordy Nelson. Again, I need to defer to the professional here. I have the utmost faith in double T's ability to evaluate talent, but wow. Second year in a row that he takes a guy I've never heard of, at a position that was the deepest on our team. And the guy is white. Now, far be it from me to tell someone they can't do something because of the color of their skin. But its not as if there have been a long line of hall of fame wideouts with his tone. Here is the list since 1980: Steve Largent. That's the list.

3) Brian Brohm: I guess we need a backup. Poor poor Jerry Baab is going to have to go for that assistant manager position at Piggly Wiggly after all. I would have rather had some crusty old veteran to be honest. Unless Rodgers goes down with a very serious injury, how does this help our team exactly? We are SCREWED if Rodgers goes down. (I will be using the term WE to refer to the following teams: Packers, Badgers, Brewers, Creighton Bluejays. If you don't like it, don't read it).

4) The rest of their picks besides Matt Flynn: No problem other than another wideout I guess. The other picks all addressed a specific need.

5) Matt Flynn: Seriously. He was in a QB battle at LSU with Ryan Perrileux (sp?) his entire career. There is little to no chance of him making the roster. Why waste this pick?

Overall, I will defer to our leader. I believe he knows what he's doing. He hasn't missed on very many guys. I will have more analysis later when I find out that Jermichael Finley used to be a woman.

QuesTec ShmesTec

Kerwin Danley has become the first umpire to fall subject to Major League Baseball's new program to improve the reliability of the strike zone.





Was it a ball or a strike?

Caleb Campbell

I plan on writing about the draft with a topic of much more relevance than the safety from Army that the Lions took in the 7th round of today's draft, however something about this whole situation really put a bad taste in my mouth.

I understand that it's a fantastic story for this young kid, first player to be drafted out of army in a decade. The Army also recently changed a rule regarding graduates heading to the NFL, Campbell does not have to report to duty, he can do recruiting work and exchange his time he's supposed to serve now, for reserve duty time later on. The media is very adamant about mentioning how his opportunity in the NFL is keeping him from having to serve to fulfill his duty as a soldier, but I just feel like they are missing out on two big points.

What I don't understand is how the Army makes this decision? You've enlisted at West Point, we are paying for your education so that you will become a better member of the US Army, however if you're good at football, you can go play that instead. What? What if someone at the academy was really good at gardening? Could he or she get drafted by Martha Stewart and then be able to put off their military obligations for a few years? So basically they've made a specific loophole rule for football players. Another issue I have with the media coverage is that the articles about this player, or the reactions to this article very often seem to be to the tune of, oh thank god this young player doesn't have to throw his life away in Iraq or Afghanistan. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Caleb Campbell, of his own free will, choose to apply to the Army and enroll in their school to become an officer? An education that the Army then paid for? And room and board that the Army also paid for? And I also believe that Mr Campbell also was paid by the Army to be there in school. So the Army has invested all of this time and money into a future officer that up to this day, and for the forseeable future, will not actually be doing the job he was being trained to do in school.

Why? His obligations during his time in football will be to work as a recruiter. With the amount of face time Campbell received during the second day of the draft and if Campbell actually becomes a success in the NFL, how effective of a recruiter would this guy become? He could basically show up at high schools and say "Hey I'm Caleb Campbell, the NFL player, come join the Army!". Not that I particularly care about this, I just find it funny that so many people are pushing so hard to find the sunny side of this story to be about one young man avoiding the war in Iraq, when it could potentially lead to many more becoming obligated in the future.

I don't plan on involving politics or the war in Iraq into any future posts, in case anyone was worried that this thing was going to turn into a soapbox blog. I just wanted to express an opinion about this that wasn't cookie cutter thoughtless drivel that ESPN and other big media networks can be so good at churning out.


And on a finishing note, Jason Kidd looked terrible tonight and I'll bet Mark Cuban hasn't slept in a week and a half.

Wayne Larrivee pissed on my shoe

So this is my first venture into this intergoogle thing, and I'm not totally sure what I'm doing, but I had a pretty funny story to pass along so here it goes.

I went to the draft party thingy at Lambeau Field yesterday. It was actually a lot cooler than it sounds, and I got so drunk that I threw up multiple times in the middle of the night. But that isn't the point of the story.

The point is, about 15 drinks in, I am letting loose some of the gold soda my bladder borrowed, I drunkenly glance down the row of urinals, and who is standing next to me but the radio voice of the Green Bay Packers, Wayne fucking Larrivee. We both finished up and he said "How's it going?" in that silky voice of his. On a side note, dude is fucking scary looking in person. His hair is goddamn huge. That is my story.

Oh yeah, later in the night we went to Fuzzy's and the man Fuzzy Thurston was there. And he sang happy birthday to someone. Which was a bit disturbing because he has some type of issue with his throat and has a voice box thing.

Other highlights included: Not being able to hear Ted Thompson talk over the chorus of boos following their first pick, the Pack drafting a white wideout, and my buddy asking a 65 year old in front of her husband if she pulled her jersey over her tits when she got the autographs on her shoulders.

What's the point?

Well we finally got around to starting a blog. Then this happened:

http://www.computing.co.uk/computing/news/2215285/internet-reach-capacity

Hmm...