Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Gutey to Draft as Many as 12 New Cuties in April

Selection capital. It's the currency of the NFL. After the annual March player auction in which a group of good men are sold to (usually) the highest bidder, the world (the minority of US citizens who still watch the NFL) will turn its naked eyes to the annual selection special. This season is expected to be a special one for the Green Bay Packers, as new General Manager Brian "Gutey" Gutekunst



will have the opportunity to select as many as twelve (12) new cuties to the roster.

When a team has double digit selections in the annual selection meeting it is almost a given that its General Manager will be aggressive in moving up and down the selection meeting to acquire the cuties that best fit the scheme. In the Packers' case, General Manager Gutey is looking to make an aggressive play for a quarterback to put pressure on incumbent malcontent Aaron Rodgers, who is looking for a new contract that will cripple the Packers salary cap for years.

Thankfully, one of Josh Allen (prototypical Gutey Cutie)



 or Baker Mayfield (Green Bay darling and noted "Gutey Guy")




are fairly likely to be available when the Packers make their selection.

Both cuties are absolutely glove-like fits for Gutey and the Packers, as both are noted Trump supporters and gun advocated, which demonstrates their high character and ability to handle the pressure cooker that is Green Bay Wisconsin. While neither QB possesses the raw aura of a Josh Rosen, either are the perfect "Robins"



to Aaron Rodgers Batman



for the next three years. It is fairly well known that Aaron Rodgers enjoys cosplay, and is a noted Adam West fan. 



A cutie such as Allen or Mayfield could learn from Rodgers during the last two years of his contract and through one franchise tag year, before taking over in the last year of his rookie deal ripe for an extension as lead cutie on the Packers.

Some may argue that Rodgers is still in his prime, and there are bigger holes on the Packers defense, which could be filled by a cutie such as Iowa cornerback Josh Jackson or UTSA edge rusher Marcus Davenport. Indeed, in some scenarios the Buffalo Bills have contacted the Packers to offer up a scenario whereby both of these players could be wearing green and gold tights this fall. However, it is clear that the Packers' situation at QB can be described as "unsettled" at best, with lead cutie Rodgers a significant injury risk having missed 34.5% of his starts in the last 5 seasons. By stabilizing the position well into the future Gutey's cuties will be well positioned to save valuable salary cap dollars and compete at the same time.

Although the foregoing approach would upset current lead cutie Rodgers, keep in mind that the time the Packers became aggressive with the QB situation the net result was the lone Super Bowl victory (and appearance) of the introverted era (led by former General Manager Ted Thompson). Now is the time for Gutey's Cuties to put one leg into their tights at a time, adjust that cup and take a QB who is intelligent and ready to learn.

2005 is here again. It's time to throw on a remix of "My Humps"



and Goot Goot Goot for the home team . . . Gutey's Cuties. Make the right move Gutey, take Allen or Mayfield. The smark fans (and us here at Archie's bastares) are behind you with two hands.