New Year Things

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Full Blown

So either I caught full blown AIDS at the Packer game this weekend, or I just got a really bad cold, and I'm too damn old to drink as much as I did. Either way, I feel a little under the weather on Wednesday night. On the bright side, I'm sitting back watching Creighton take on Illinois St. on ESPN3 in all of its non-HD glory.

FUCK THE VIQUEENS

You are a useless franchise. Truly. I need you to beat the Giants. The roof caves in on your shitty "stadium" and you get killed. I need you to beat the Bears. The roof continues to cave in, 13,000 fans show up (clearly an outdoor stadium is wanted) and you get killed. I need you to LOSE to the Eagles, and you win. I fucking hate you. Now if the Pack is able to replicate what happened last weekend, we get the honor of facing the Philidelphia Eagles and thier dog murdering QB.

RIVALRY GAME

Is the Packers-Bears rivalry as good right now as it has been historically? Probably not. But could it get there? I think Sunday is going to go a long way towards finding that out. How much do the Bears hate the Packers? Will Lovie play his most valuable players in a game that is probably pointless to them (unless somehow Atlanta loses vs Carolina AND the Saints lose vs the Bucs) just to try to keep the Pack out? Personally, I think this is a game the Pack wins regardless unless Hurricane Ditka shows up. Even if Lovie plays everyone, you gotta think they are going to be looking forward to thier week off in Cabo, and to not hurting themselves. I'm a little worried that we will have a special teams meltdown, since it will be 14 days since the last time Shawn Slocum's crew lost a game for us ( a season long!!), but otherwise, the Packers have played extremely well the last two weeks.

"PRO" BOWL

It is pretty hard to get too worked up about this sham of a game, especially since the guys I'm about to bitch about not getting selected, or getting selected will inevitably back out anyway leaving A.J. Hawk as the starting MLB for the NFC, and Jarret Bush as a starting safety.

Tramon Williams is a Pro Bowler. D'Angelo Hall had like 5 of his 6 INTs in ONE GAME against Jay Cutler, and played on one of the worst defenses in the NFL. He is not a Pro Bowler. Woodson might be, even in a down year, because he is awesome in many aspects of defense (tackling, blitzing). However, he is not as good as Williams right now. Or at least he isn't better.

I don't know how you name a left tackle for Pro Bowl, but Clifton has gotten beaten like a drum on a lot of occasions this year. He's had a great career, so if this is a career achievement award, then fine, but he is not all-star caliber.

In conclusion, I would like to make to final points:

1) I made the above conclusions based on watching 15 Packer games and parts of whatever was shown on my television.

2) None of the Packers will be playing in the Pro Bowl because of the Super Bowl the next week...

HOLIDAYS

For the fourth straight year, I would like to continue my crusade to give every American the day off of work when there is a sporting event not normally played during a weekday, played on a weekday. Like today. I missed the Armed Forces, or Bell Helicopter or Turdburgler.com Bowl today while I worked. Bullshit. C'mon Tea Party. Do something for fucking me!

The Aftermath

It turns out that drinking a Sparks for breakfast doesn't lead to great achievements. It leads to more drinking. Which leads to getting super drunk. Which leads to vomit. Which leads to hangover. Which isn't fun. But good times were had by all (or at least most), and I'm pretty sure our group single handedly kept Miller Brewing Co. open for another six months. And the Packers destroyed the Giants. One more win, and then the playoffs. Go Pack Go.

Holiday, Alleged Double Murder Bowl V Mega-Post!

HOLIDAY BENDER

So it is Christmas time. And this year it is extra special, because we are headed to Lambeau to worship the one true God (sorry Sports Bottle's god), Saint Vince. I'm headed to Lambeau for Packers-Giants in what amounts to a playoff game. What does this mean? Well, it means I have extra drinking motivation.

Typically in my family Christmas Eve is the night to drink. And while it doesn't always happen, if it doesn't, Christmas tends to be a fairly dry holiday. But this year is different. See, I plan to drink my way through the night tonight, while not getting out of control and feeling out the situation. It is weird to drink heavily by yourself, but sometimes my Dad, brother and cousins get in on the act and it turns to fun. We'll see. I've already been warned that I can't puke and/or be hung over tomorrow (does that mean I have a problem)?

Christmas Day usually involves a lot of driving and a few Old Fashions (google it if you aren't from Northeast Wisconsin), but not drinking heavily. However, since the Packer game is Sunday, we are expecting company on Christmas night in the form of Richard at least, and hopefully my brother as well. And, lets face it, I'm not capable of sitting around other dudes for a whole night and not drinking. Since it is Christmas night, there probably aren't bars open, so the bar will be open at my crib (and I'm pretty sure Grandma and Grandpa are getting me a bottle of Grey Goose, so there is that).

And Sunday, well, Sunday is going to be awesome. There is somewhere between 10 people and everyone I know going to the game on Sunday. It is a late afternoon start, which means a) more time to get over the previous night's hangover and b) an easier time drinking more prior to game time. Also, I took the liberty of not working on Monday, because I'm planning to go until my wife makes me stop. It should be epic. Oh, and there is going to be a great ass football game. I predict a really good crowd and a Packer win.

So being hung over/drunk for the next three days is in my future. Praise Jesus.

ALLEGED DOUBLE MURDER BOWL V


Now comes the time in the post where I stop being festive, and start getting serious. I've got some money to win this week. The White Broncos (11-4) are taking on Schmock's team (13-2). I handed Schmock a loss two weeks ago. But this time I've got some potentially serious injury issues. MoJo Drew is now being called a "game time decision", which fucking sucks because I'm going to the game and will be unable to change my lineup late. I may be forced to start Fred Jackson in his place. Schmock leads the all time series 6-4, but I'm currently favored by 8. MVP Aaron Rodgers v. former MVP Phillip Rivers and offensive player of the year Arian Foster. Winner becomes the first two-time winner of the league. The TV audience on TLC is expected to break records. The GooGoo Dolls are the halftime entertainment. Axl Rose is singing the national anthem.

But here is the deal. Schmock picked up MoJo's backup before I could get to him, so I'm serious now. I'm going to give a ridiculous pregame speech. I'm taking money out of Schmock's kid's mouth. I'm taking diaper money away. I'm just being real.


Merry Fuckin' Christmas boys and girls. Here's to hoping everyone gets the shit they want, pays their credit card bills on time, and eats and drinks way more than they should.

Beef O' Brady Sounds Awful

A few random thoughts:

-Is someone really going to sit there and make the claim that Bowl games are important and have history, while we have the fucking "Beef O' Brady's Bowl in St. Petersburg Florida" last night? I'm in a bowl pool and I couldn't bring myself to watch more than about 5 minutes. Also, Boise St. is playing in a December 22nd bowl called the Macco Bowl Las Vegas. Christ. (To be fair, Brent Musberger is announcing it, and he is selling it).

- A-Rodg is starting, which is good. This makes my weekend more fun. Because winning and being drunk is a lot more fun than losing and being drunk (more on this later in the week).

-Big OJSFA title game coming up: Me v. Schmock. Alleged Double Murder Bowl V preview later in the week too.

-Every time I might feel sorry for He Who Shall Not Be Named for almost dying in a football game. He goes and does something like telling Julius Peppers to "Beat the Packers", and then I remember that he is a horrible human being, and a lying piece of shit, and if there was a hell, there would be a special place in it for him.

-I didn't bother looking at the Top 50 all-time Viking list. I figured it would be Tarkenton, Foreman, Allan Page, Ahmad Rashad, Cris Carter, and a bunch of dudes I've barely heard of. Then I heard that Jared Fucking Allen was on it, and I wanted to see it less. What a joke. He Who Shall Not Be Named HAD to be on it then, doesn't he? Was Randy Moss on it? How about Adrian Peterson? I mean really, I'm not looking at the list, so maybe they are there and I just didn't care. I'm not even sure why I'm complaining about this. Oh, and nice fucking job freaking out about getting "screwed" out of your seat when they moved the game to TCF, and then NOT FUCKING SHOWING UP. A 3/4 full 50,000 seat stadium is an embarrassment.

-The Bucks, playing Andrew Bogut, a 5'3" guard and 8 other guys I've never heard of beat the Lakers. Hey, how bout that?

-Rex Ryan has a foot fetish. (Gross).

-Oh, and this is funny.

Blah Blah Blah

In case anyone was wondering, that is a recent photo of Juice.

I'm liking how the Packers are looking so far. Flynn looks a little scared at times but looks extremely confident when he throws. That pass to James Jones was a beauty.

15 yard penalty called on the Pats 2 minutes after the play was over. (10-7 at this point - 5 minutes remaining in 1st half)

I swear, our RBs pick the wrong spot to run every.....single....time.

Why aren't the Pats blitzing on every play? Flynn looks good when he has time.

3rd dropped pass. Come on guys, we can't afford that.

Wow did the Giants lay an egg today. I watched that entire 4th quarter. Amazing.

Beautiful screen play in the red zone to Kuhn. 1st and goal.

Empty backfield, I'm liking this. Pass interference call. 1st and goal at the 1. If I see a pass play, other than a playaction roll out...... Nevermind, TD pass to Jennings from the shotgun!

17-7! Wow, Flynn has been impressive. Kudos to the great playcalling so far. Notice I say "so far."

If Desean Jackson hadn't returned that punt today, that kickoff return by the O-lineman would be the worst special teams coverage of all time.

You had to expect at least one pick-6 this game.

Kuhn is great at jumping to get an extra yard or two.

I would have my hair like that if Gisele wanted me to. That would be low on the list of absurd things I would do if she wanted me to.

Who's gonna spend $50 in our fantasy league to pick up Flynn this week?

Wilfork just ripped Jackson's head off by the facemask.

Anyone see the Austin Collie hit today? I don't wince very often, but Christ that looked bad.

Again, I need to thank Vincent Jackson for redeeming my entire fantasy year. I'm keeping him again next year.

Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those swing passes NEVER work, except when you're Matty Flynn. 24-21. Over/under was 42.

Raji stepping up today. Another punt for the Pats. A TD to go up by 10 would be great right here.

Flynn has done great on the play fakes.

Kuhn has been amazing tonight.

I can't wait for the NHL Winter Classic. New Years Day has a shitload of stuff to watch. That game, bowl games, UFC fight. I will be drunk.

1st and goal from the 1. Two straight quick dives to Kuhn and a crappy looking pass play. I will tell you right now, we are going to lose this game and not scoring right there will be the reason why. I'm not even gonna be pissed because I'll be used to the idea by then.

I would have bet a lot of money the Pats were gonna get a TD, so holding them to a FG is a good thing. 27-24 Packers. I see a 31-27 loss for the Packers.

Packer punt. Time for the D to step up. How about we actually make an interception? We've dropped at least 2.

Patriots change it up and go no-huddle and score like there was no D out there. Ouch, that hurts. Can Flynn play clutch football? 31-27 (uh-oh).

Peanut M&Ms are the superior M&M, in my opinion.

What was that 3rd and 8 play? Are you serious? Flynn lofts one up to Quarless? WHAT???????????

I gotta say I'm pleasantly surprised by the Packers' performance. Other than that 3rd and 8 play, the playcalling has been perfect. I can't say I think we'd be better off at this point in this game if Rodgers was playing.

Why don't they always use that view from behind the QB? It is by far the best view. You can see the holes RBs run through. You can see the routes.

Flynn throws an incredibly stupid pass that gets picked with less than 4 minutes left. But wait! Illegal hands to the face! Damn right, he's been doing it all game!!!! 1st down Packers!!!

35 yard line. 2 minute warning. 31-27. First NFL start. What will Matty Flynn do? I'm liking my 31-27 guess more and more.

Holy. Shit. The time between the last pass completion and the snap of the final play was one of the most painful moments in my NFL viewing history. I felt sad. I felt bad for Flynn. He had no idea what to do. What I expected to see in this game didn't happen until 23 seconds left in the game, but it definitely happened.

Go Vikings.

I've Got Wood

I never thought I'd get a repeat on the excitement that was generated when the Milwaukee Brewers acquired C.C. Sabathia a few years ago en route to an, albeit short, playoff berth. Mark Attanasio must have a huge anus, because it can't feel good pulling Zack Greinke out of your ass. This is going for broke, especially if the Brewers are in relative contention when the trade deadline passes but don't make the playoffs. That is the worst case scenario. If that happens they won't trade Prince Fielder and they will get nothing for him. That would blow because Prince is out like Juice in dodgeball after this year.

I do have to express my sadness about getting rid of Alcides Escobar and Lorenzo Cain, more Cain though. Cain is gonna be a stud. Escobar is a unique defensive talent but his bat is a dime a dozen. Betancourt is pretty much an older version. His numbers at the plate last year were more productive. But with Cain gone, and I suspect he was our starting center fielder for the next dozen years, does this mean we get Carlos Gomez in center? I have done zero research about this, but no one else comes to mind. If this is the case, that is going to hurt. Gomez is a the rare player with a body type for one thing (power hitter) but raw skills for another thing (speedy leadoff hitter). In other words, he tries to slug but can't. If he can learn his identity, maybe he can be a consistent contributer, because he's faster than shit and is very good defensively.

Be very careful with your enthusiasm. It's understandable to be thinking playoffs but I'm getting the feeling of a slow start because expectations are going to be so high. Every article is talking about the Brewers' great offense, but they're not consistent, which cost them a ton of games last year. Great pitching can't rescue an offense that doesn't produce consistently.

Ted Thompson, take a cue from Attanasio. You do what you need to do to win. Thompson simply will not pull the trigger on a big move. When Ryan Grant got hurt he needed to get out there and find a suitable replacement (i.e. Marshawn Lynch). Now the Packers play the Patriots with no running game AND no passing game, unless Matt Flynn also has a huge anus. Patriots favored by 14.5. Hmmm, Patriots at home, hottest team in the NFL, Aaron Rodgers out, Matt Flynn in...... Patriots 27-10.

College Bowl Pick 'em is starting off decently. A thank you goes to Juice for allowing me to continue my degenerative ways by spending $20 on a pick 'em pool. Fuck Troy.

The Results

3rd Annual Juice's Dream D-1 NCAA Football Get Together



What was interesting about this year is that the case could be made that 16 teams would be adequate.



1st Round



1) Auburn 69, Florida International 31

Oklahoma St. 35, Missouri 30

8)Arkansas 30, West Virginia 17

Stanford 56, Miami (OH) 9

4) Oklahoma 55, Air Force 7

South Carolina 26, LSU 13

5) Boise St 64, Mississippi St 10

N. Illinois 42, Virginia Tech 24

2) Oregon 38, UCONN 14

Nebraska 68, Utah 12

7)Wisconsin 41, Florida St. 7

Ohio St. 51, Central Florida 13

3)TCU 31, USC 13

Alabama 57, Hawaii 36

Tulsa 34, 6) Nevada 28!!

Michigan St. 30, Texas A&M 23



2ND ROUND

Oklahoma St. 42, 1) Auburn 24

8) Arkansas 45, Stanford 38

4) Oklahoma 48, South Carolina 24

5) Boise St 48, N. Illinois 3

2) Oregon 30, Nebraska 23

Ohio St. 51, 7) Wisconsin 38 :(

Alabama 22, 3) TCU 20

Michigan St. 30, Tulsa 28

QUARTERFINALS

Oklahoma St. 55, 8) Arkansas 27

5) Boise St 38, 4) Oklahoma 33

2) Oregon 43, Ohio St. 13

Alabama 36, Michigan St. 17

SEMIFINALS

5) Boise St. 47, Oklahoma St. 40

2) Oregon 38, Alabama 31

CHAMPIONSHIP

2) Oregon 38, 5) Boise St. 34

Now who WOULDN'T want to see this? FYI, in the three year history of this tournament, a number one seed (top 8) has won it every year, and 5 of the 6 participants of the title game have been number one seeds. So maybe 32 is too many?

More Quick Brewer Thoughts

The question probably needs to be asked: Were the Brewers one pitcher (albeit a very good one) away?

A really good pitcher is nice, but the Brewers defense was really bad last year, which didn't help the pitching staff at all. I think it is a valid question.

I asked my wife this very question. Her response? "No, they're terrible." I guess we will find out.

OMFG

The hands you see above are those of Brewers owner Mark Attanasio. He and his GM Doug Melvin have decided that the window on a small market team competing is slamming shut. And Attanasio has stuck his dick in it. Completely out of the blue and/or my brother's wet dreams, the Crew has traded for Zack Greinke. (I should note that this was somehow scooped by "Bernie's Crew", which is AMAZING work.)

This is a move that is a total all in moment, and one that is worth it if it gets the Crew within reach of a championship. The Crew traded starting CF Lorenzo Cain, starting SS Alicides Escobar, and top prospects Jake Odorizzi and Jeremy Jeffress for Greinke and SS Yuniesky Betancourt.

The Brewers rotation has gone from one of the most average on paper (and one of the worst in reality) in the NL last season. To one of the best. The previous addition of Shawn Marcum and now a recent Cy Young winner in Greinke puts them right up there with the San Francisco Giants as far as the rotation goes. Greinke, Gallardo, Marcum, Wolf, Narveson. If everyone stays healthy, that is NICE.

This means that it is all-in with Prince too. Now they a) don't need the pitcher they were trying to get, b) need his bat to make this worth it. Another positive of this on the Prince front is that if this doesn't work out for whatever reason, they can unload him at the trading deadline for prospects to fill the farm system that they just completely emptied. This is not the preferred scenario, but they haven't traded him yet because they were trying to get a young MLB ready pitcher for Prince, which nobody would give up. But I bet that even for a two month rental they could get prospects similar to Odorizzi (who is still a year or two away, and projects as a number 2 or 3 starter) and Jeffress (a troubled SP turned probable reliever with a big fastball). So we have options.

With Prince going, and nothing coming back for him, this also means that the best chance is probably this year. While Prince could be somewhat replaced because he is bad on defense, it is tough to replace the hitting completely. The lineup this year looks competitive on paper, even with the loss of Cain and Escobar. Lucroy is solid at C. Prince at 1B. Weeks at 2B. McGehee at 3B. The Hammer in left and Hart in RF. Those are really decent players at all of those positions. Escobar had been a disappointment at the plate, and we are replacing him with a slightly older version of him in Yuniesky Betancourt .692OPS, 1.3 WAR. While Betancourt's numbers aren't great, they are slightly better than Escobar's right now, so there isn't much of a step back there (Ecobar: .614 OPS, -.7 WAR). Maybe Escobar figures it out, but that is a risk that needs to be taken. I'm alot more worried about the Carlos Gomez experience in CF, because I hate him. But you probably aren't going to have 8 competent hitters in every lineup.

So this move is ridiculous and awesome and surprising, and completely made me forget that the Pack is going to lose by 50 and have their playoff chances ended this weekend. I may not choose the most painful method of death now!

I'm sure someone will have a little better analysis than me, and I look forward to reading it. I hope that this is the summer of '08 all over again.

Playoffs?

It is semifinal week in the OJSFA!

GAME 1:

The White Broncos (10-4) v. OJSFA or Die (8-6)

LINE: Broncos by 25

SERIES HISTORY: Broncos lead 5-4

Thoughts: I'm going to kick Richard's ass. Brady is going to throw 10 TDs for him, all to Deion Branch, who starts for me.

GAME 2: Clown Baby (9-5) v. Schmock's Team (12-2)

LINE: Schmock by 3

SERIES HISTORY: Clown Baby leads 6-5

Thoughts: I'm not sure how either of these guys made the playoffs. Schmock almost went undefeated with Santana Moss as one of his starting wideouts. My brother was a playoff team all year with Knowshon Moreno and Ryan Matthew's failed expectations as his backfield. I think my brother hangs on due to A-Rodg being out for Schmock and A-Peter playing on an ice rink Monday night.

AWARDS

Aaron Rodgers won the MVP award. He was the best player on Schmock's team.

Past Winners:
2006: LaDanian Tomlinson
2007: Tom Brady
2008: Phillip Rivers
2009: Tom Brady

Arian Foster came from nowhere to win the Offensive Player of the Year. He scored the most points. He was on my team.

Past Winners:
2006: LaDanian Tomlinson
2007: Tom Brady
2008: Drew Brees
2009: Drew Brees

PACKERS PLAYOFFS

Check out the ESPN playoff machine. The Packers are totally and completely fucked. They almost have to beat the Pats to have good chance at the playoffs. Or the need the Vikings to beat the Bears with a converted WR at QB. And their fans will be angry, cold and sober.

I dunno, maybe Matt Flynn is good. I can't really imagine them winning. Pats by 17. And Belichick is still a dick.

CREIGHTON BLUEJAYS

Gregory Echenique makes his debut tonight on ESPN3 againt Idaho St. For those who don't know, Echenique is a transfer from Rutgers. He was the number 9 overall recruit two years ago, and the Big East freshman of the year. For a Valley school to get a guy like this is a big deal. I guess Echenique is immediately going to put up 30-20 every night. He is the Stephen Strasburg of the Creighton Bluejays. Good times.

(Sports Bottle's) God Hates the Packers

BAD JUJU

So it sounds entirely possible that going into to their "home game" at TCF Bank Stadium against the Bears, the Viqueens will be starting not He Who Shall Not Be Named, not Traveiououeys Jackson, but Joe fucking Webb. Seriously, what did the Packers organization do to piss off (Sports Bottle's) God? Why does (Sports Bottle's) God love the Bears? Off the top of my head, this is at least the THIRD must lose game that they have played against a 3rd string QB (Panthers, Dolphins, Vikings). The chances of this happening are absolutely astronomical. Fuck. Me. I wanted to play the Bears two weeks in a row anyway (assuming we actually beat the Giants and Bears and possibly the Pats).

ARE THE PHILLIES THE MIAMI HEAT OF THE NATIONAL LEAGUE

The Yanks and Sox are obviously the Heat of the AL. No argument there. But why is Cliff Lee getting blown by everyone and their brother for taking less money (kind of) to play for the Phillies? Isn't going into a rotation with the best pitcher in baseball Roy Halladay, and two other top 2 starters in Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels, JUST LIKE Le Bron signing on to play with Wade and Bosh? Will everyone get pissed if Halladay, Lee and Oswalt have a pep rally with hip hop music and fake smoke? Wanna know why nobody cares except Yankee fans? 1) Cliff Lee didn't announce his decision on national TV; 2) He didn't stab a long time franchise in the back; 3) the media is racist. So there you go. Le Bron was right.

Death of a Legend? Birth of a Leader?

THAT ONE GUY
ESPN has run their 40 minute "He Who Shall Not Be Named is Dead" montage a minimum of 6 times now. Twice after he retired from the Pack, once after the Jets, once after the Vikings, once after he broke his foot in 13 places in the first Packer game, and once tonight after his suspension for sending cock pictures was handed down. They are good to do it at least two more times: once after he gets the remainder of his suspension (put on IR) and once when he tearfully realizes that Chilly isn't sending Longwell down to Mississippi to get him.

B10 TEN

The "leaders" division? Really? We couldn't use a color or something? That is awful. I also saw a few of the trophy names, and had some questions. Such as the "Nagurski-Woodson" defensive player of the year. Was Charles Woodson REALLY one of the two best defensive players in Big Ten history? I know he won the Heisman. And I know he was really, really good. But didn't he only win the Heisman because he also played reciever and returned kicks? I don't remember the first 100 years or so of B10 Ten Football, but I think LaVar Arrington was better than Woodson as a pure defensive player. I'm just saying. Also, was Desmond Howard one of the two best WRs ever? Never mind, Pat Richter is also part of this, and he is from Wisconsin, and Howard was the hero of the only Packer Super Bowl, so I'll allow it. Also, I love Charles Woodson, so forget I mentioned it.

Rants and Panic: Piping Hot

First, thank you to the Sports Bottle for your mighty fine contribution.

Second, thank you for fucking nothing Green Bay Packers.

Was that the most frustrating loss ever? It was right up there. Especially since it was a conference game and we needed to win that shit. As long as we won against the G-Men and the Lions, the other two games didn't matter that much because we probably would have at least a wild card wrapped up going into the Chicago game due to random conference tiebreakers. Instead, we fuck up our last easy game. Now, we probably have to beat New England AND have Minnesota beat Chicago AND beat Chicago ourselves to win the division. Oh, and we probably have to do it with Matty Flynn.

I mean Jesus do I take Rodgers for granted. He never wings random passes 12 yards over receivers heads. And never bounces them two yards short. I'm not really blaming Flynn for the loss. If he had ANY help at all from either the coaching staff, the offensive line, the receivers or the running backs, we win that game.

It was just embarrassing. I'm pissed beyond words. I can't even really enjoy the fact that CBS switched away from the Pats-Bears at HALFTIME because the Bears got raped so hard. And I'm not going enjoy watching the Eagles-Cowboys tonight because a) I have to root for the Cowboys and b) the week in fantasy is pointless.

Of course fucking Tampa Bay won too. Just in case the Pack couldn't be more fucked. I knew the instant Rodgers got hit that he was done. He had no idea where he was for the next two plays. In fact, one has to wonder if he was concussed in warmups or something.

Maybe the Packers plane crashed due to weather and they were ALL concussed? McCarthy certainly loved the following plays today:

1) Draw plays that lose a yard. Especially on a huge 3rd and 1 in the fourth quarter after your backup quarterback marched down the field with 8 to 9 yard passes.

2) 3 yard passes to slow white fullbacks turned running backs on 3rd and 8. Did it at least three times.

3) Screen passes to your slowest running back not named Jon Kuhn (Dimitri Nance).

4) Bombs on 4th and 1 from your backup QB who was missing most receivers by multiple yards.

5) 3 step drops with press coverage, backed up by a tight zone, when your offensive line was getting dominated.

6) Any play that did not require the QB to roll out (minus almost every Flynn completion, and the Jennings two handed pass to the DB)

To his credit, I've never seen McCarthy as angry as I did today.

The o-line took a HUGE step back today. Part of the blame goes to Flynn who clearly hasn't mastered the art of stepping up in the pocket like A-Rodg. I think A-Rodg has learned the limitations and masks some of the problems. I'm not a coach, and I don't know how to fix the issues on the line, but they were really bad. And probably concussed.

The receivers legitimately seemed to not give a shit. Jennings seemed to take the rest of the game off after dropping the perfect pass from A-Rodg. Driver seemed to not make an effort to catch some of the passes. I thought James Jones had stayed in the locker room after warmups. How do you not get open against this secondary? I know that there were probably twice as many in coverage as normal due to the o-line getting violated by Suh and Co., but Jesus.

And why did we only blitz Stanton like once? And when we did he panicked. We gave him ALL DAY in the pocket. We sorely missed Cullen Jenkins.

I'm more angry now than I was twenty minutes ago. We probably can't lose another game. And I really don't see Matt Flynn beating New England. I wish it was 1992 and we could ignore concussions, damn the long term health consequences.

I just blacked out. I bet that made no sense.End rant.

Packer Stream of Consciousness

In honor of Juice's triumphant return, I offer this series of random thoughts.

I join as the Packers have already coughed up the ball and Drew Stanton gave it right back. Why wouldn't the Lions just keep running the ball?

Who did Jahvid Best piss off?

Just to clarify, there were no Dodge Challenger SRTs during the Revolutionary War. There may have been Chargers, though.

I do agree with Juice about the Pack by more than 7 (Jesus, that Dodge commercial is on AGAIN). But I didn't take the point spread today. I took the money line in an 11 team parlay.

I am starting a Dodge Revolutionary War commercial tally. I think we are at 3 but it could be 4.

I am pleased that I'm not working today. This weather makes for a very busy shift.

The Lions suck every year. I don't care how close the games have been. 2-10 sucks no matter how you look at it.

They keep talking about Woodson vs Johnson but I Tramon seems to be covering him.

Its the first commercial every time - 4. I'm not a fan of the Challenger. It's boring.

My recent cohabitation has some huge advantages. Tops on that list is the fact she's doing all the Christmas shopping. She loves it. I hate it. It works out.

Starks runs hard, but he will never break a tackle.

I'm thinking about ordering that cheesy bites pizza.

After almost an entire fantasy football season I need to point out that every single game I've watched/listened to that had one or more opposing fantasy player, said fantasy player/players have scored a touchdown. It is absolutely unbelievable. Last week I was in a close matchup going into the Colts Sunday night game. I had Peyton Manning. My opponent had Reggie Wayne. Wayne outscored Manning by 2 to 1. How is that possible? I will never get used to a point per reception. I hate it. One week I was listening to one game on the radio and they cut to a Lions game that was at the end of the 4th quarter. They stayed with that game for one play and that one play was a Calvin Johnson touchdown (I was playing against him).

Wow Jennings. Was that a volleyball set? That pass was perfect and Jennings gently sets it to the DB for the pick. I'm getting a very bad feeling about this game. It's very similar to the Bears game. We're gonna have 14 turnovers but lose by a FG or less.

The D is stepping up. Clutch stop on 3rd and less than 1.

Other than the score, that's about as bad a first quarter as the Packers can have.

Too many 3rd and longs.

False start, 3rd and longer.

3rd and long. Here comes a play that has no chance of a first down.

Yep, short dump pass to Kuhn.

I may be the only one, but I like the FOX dancing robot dude.

Vikings game to be played in Detroit? There will be 6 people in attendance.

A reverse should never work in the NFL, but Calvin Johnson just gained 10+.

I would like to thank Schmock for drafting my crappy team and for also drafting his awesome team. Speaking of Schmock, his house will be our New Years Day destination.

INT!!!! I may have to buy Drew Stanton a beer after the game.

Continuing...... Last year, Schmock and significant other were randomly in my town on New Years Day so they randomly come over at 9am. It turns out to be one of the greatest random drinking days in history. We won a bunch of money and drank for 12 hours. We're gonna attempt to recreate that day although Mrs Schmock is +1 and won't be able to enjoy the alcoholic beverages. The Badgers play a midday Rose Bowl game, which will make the day that much more fun.

First two things I will implement when I become NFL commissioner.

1. 15 yard penaly every time a player signals first down after getting a first down.
2. Automatic turnover every time a receiver begs for pass interference.

Also, I'm mulling over what kind of penalty to assess when a special teams loser goes absolutely crazy after making a tackle on punt/kickoff return, especially when getting blown out.

3rd and 11 - quick out route by Driver. WHAT THE FUCK? We are not even trying for a 1st down on 3rd and long.

Gulliver's Travels - looks like a fun movie.

What's a jackwagon?

If the Lions stop passing the ball, they will win.

I've officially joined the world of online gaming. I joined Xbox live about a month ago. It's a lot of fun. I'm playing Call of Duty Black Ops and Need For Speed Hot Pursuit. Both very good games. I get my ass kicked at Call of Duty. Everyone else has been playing all the Call of Duty games for years. I rule at Need for Speed so I'm playing that more often.

Who wants to come to my Million Dollar Money Drop party?

Fuck, that Jennings drop was huge.

New beer review - Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout. Instantly one of my favorite beers. Simply delicious. Served from a pint bottle.

Has there been a worse 9-3 team than the Bears?

A draw on 2nd and 23 - brilliant.

In 5 weeks I will be relaxing on the beach in Jamaica.

3rd and 17 - screen to Brandon Jackson. 2 yard gain. I'm losing my patience.

We were in Chicago for a couple nights a couple weeks ago. Went to my first Blackhawks game. It was the best live sports event I've ever been to. There were 12 goals, 3 fights and the Blackhawks won. We had great seats. The national anthem was awesome b/c the crowd goes crazy the whole time.

I miss Jermichael Finley.

Ummmmm, Rodgers is out? This is not good.

Could I have picked a more boring half of football to blog? No score.

Another 3rd and over 10. Matt Flynn at QB. Odds aren't good. Short pass to Brandon Jackson.

Rodgers suffered a concussion???????????????????????????????????? Jesus fucking Christ. Fucking idiot. Why do QBs always get hurt if they don't slide?

Why did McCarthy not challenge that Jennings non-catch in the endzone? I like McCarthy, but he has to be the all time worst at challenging plays. He's the best at challenging plays he has no chance of winning and not challenging plays he could win. I think that Jennings play was a catch. The ball bounced but I think his had was under it.

I've ended this post 3 times now but keep coming back to add on. The Packers are about to lose.

What was Flynn thinking with that INT in the end zone? Even without Levy sitting there and the ball hitting him in the chest, that pass still had no chance to be completed. But Flynn never plays, so what else can we expect.

BUT, the play calling at the end was beyond any measure of reason. We have 2nd and short in Lions territory with about 90 seconds remaining. We then run a draw to Brandon Jackson. A. DRAW. TO Brandon Jackson. Then Flynn throws a pass that looks like my dog threw it. And the cherry on top is a deep pass on 4th and 1? Why is that route even part of a pass play on 4th and 1 with a minute remaining? And Flynn does the only possible thing he simply can't do. Jennings doesn't have a chance to catch it and there's no chance for interference b/c it's not catchable.

Packers win easily if Rodgers doesn't get hurt.

Dear God, it's your best buddy 7-3 ifSports Bottle (happy early birthday by the way!!!!!), please give the Patriots a victory. I know you truly care who wins that game. Amen.

I'm done.

SNOW!!!!

So I would place what has been happening outside since about 5pm last night in the top 5 most insane weather related events I have seen in my lifetime (probably an exaggeration, much like Jay Cutler is a top 5 QB because he has managed not to throw 5 picks in more than three games). It isn't the snow necessarily. While we are supposed to end up with about a foot, it does that at least once a year in Northeast Wisconsin. It is the combination of said snow, along with winds gusting at 55 mph. I fully expect that I will not leave the house today at all. I'm also bracing for it to never stop snowing again.

Not having to leave the house has its advantages. Especially when there is NFL to be watched. I'm not going to have a hard time finding something to do. Apparently some of my neighbors are either bored, or hate the inside of their houses, because one of them was snowblowing his driveway two hours ago, despite the fact that we are still getting an inch of snow an hour, the plow hasn't and won't come through for many hours (probably not until tomorrow morning), and said wind is blowing the snow all over hell. I can report right now that his driveway is covered already. I don't understand the mentality. Why snowblow three times??? It is just completely idiotic. I don't why this bothers me so much. I guess it is that I don't like doing more work than necessary. Especially when it involves standing outside in sub-zero, blizzard conditions. As I type this I can hear another snowblower.

I would have to say the highlight of my day so far is the news that the Metrodome roof has collapsed. My wife and I both cackled with delight. What else could possibly go wrong for that obviously terrible and cursed franchise? It is just awesome to see it all fall apart. This is what happens when you make a deal with the devil. And now the devil is punishing them by destroying their stadium, and giving their 72 year old shitty QB another day to heal up so he can lose another game for them (unfortunately for the Packers I think). That cocksucker He Who Shall Not Be Named had the gall to text Ed Werder last night after he found out they wouldn't play until Monday, that the definitely wouldn't have played on Sunday. Why? So he can look "heroic" and "tough" when he DOES play on Monday. And by the way, there is no fucking way he wasn't playing on Sunday. As much as I'm over Him, He still pulls my hate back in with this fake shit.

Final thought on the Viqueens. I bet they won't have this problem in L.A....

This storm got me wondering. What if there was a game at Lambeau today? Seriously, I don't think that with all of the four wheel drive in the world that I would be able to get to Lambeau right now. The NFL would almost have to postpone the game, it is that bad. I don't think the visiting team would be able to get from their hotel in Appleton. And there would be no way for fans to park because of the snow and the plows or lackthereof. It is so bad that I would have to seriously consider not renting a pack of sled dogs to take me to the game. I would have to consider eating the money paid and not going. It is THAT bad.

Anyway, I stand by my Packers by more than a TD prediction.

Facebook Killed the Blog (Not Really) Star

My brother was right. One of the biggest reasons that posting has come to a total halt was my joining Facebook. It is a lot easier to bullshit to all of my friends through a series of two sentence status updates every few days, than it is to think of something long-winded and funny on this here deal. It doesn't help that the other memebers of this blog have long given up contributing anything, probably due to the fact that they are all dead. Part of the fun was getting others to join in. Anyway, after a conversation with my brother, which consisted of BBMs, because I don't actually talk to anyone anymore, I felt the urge to try again, while I wait for him to invite me to a new blog, which may or may not ever happen.

Perfect opportunity for the first post of any kind in nearly two months. I DD'd for a surprise birthday party for one of my wife's friends last night. Nothing better than getting up at 5:45 am for work, and staying up sober until 3 am. Hence the 12:30 pm post as I sit in my PJs drinking coffee like it is 8am. This weekend is going to be a total waste. An upcoming birthday party for four year olds, and 15 inches of snow, before a 7:30 am volunteering commitment tomorrow makes Juice a sad boy. I might as well just go to work right now. At least there are three sports items (two of which I'm probably not going to see live) to look forward to this weekend.

Firt we have the annual UW-Marquette game. This one takes on a new meaning because Vander Blue and his suddenly fatter wallet is prominently involved. Niether team is great, but MU probably wins this one at home. Bucky doesn't have a guy that can go out and take over a game by himself. Leuer is great but he needs someone to get him the ball. Taylor is occaisionally that guy, but he is too inconsistent. They are prone to long offensive droughts, which is going to hurt them against Marquette. The plan is to set the DVR, listen to the first half on the radio and then hope my father in-law turns off Teletubbies at this birthday party and has it on. Otherwise I will avoid knowledge and watch the second half tonight. Probably what happens is that it gets ruined at some point.

Second, we have St. Joe's traveling to the phone booth to take on Creighton. Live on ESPN3!!!! Pretty pumped about this. The only game I've actually been able to view was when John (the whitest guy you know) Shurna put on a dunking display for Northwestern, and the Wildcats beat the shit out of my Jays in Evanston. CU is not in any way going to make the tourney short of a MVC tournament title. But I will enjoy watching the proable drunken Saturday night crowd at Qwest Center lead the Jays to a win, while I miss Omaha.

Third, there will be the beating the Pack will put on Detroit Sunday. The Lions are a lot better than their record indicates, but Drew Stanton does nothing to scare me. I'm getting pretty jacked up for the drunken Christmas weekend game in two weeks, as Richard, my brother and a few other friends gather for the Giants game. Pack by more than a TD.

So what else? I've got a beard. That is fun. Not the greatest ever, but my wife somehow likes it, so I will keep it around awhile.

Oh, and here is the 3rd annual bracket for Juice's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together!!!

Here are the rules if you have forgotten. 32 teams. Champions of all 11 conferences get auto-bids (yes, even Florida International). Top 8 seeds host the first two rounds (even if that top seed gets eliminated). 8 4-team regionals. Quarterfinals are the Fiesta, Cotton, Citrus and Peach bowls. Semifinals are the Orange and Sugar. Final is the Rose Bowl. Here is the bracket, results to come at a later date assuming I don't stop blogging again:

AT AUBURN, AL
1) Auburn
4) Florida International

2)Oklahoma St.
3) Missouri

AT FAYETTEVILLE, AK

1) Arkansas
4) West Virginia

2) Stanford
3) Miami (OH)

AT NORMAN, OK

1) Oklahoma
4) Air Force

2) LSU
3) South Carolina

AT BOISE, ID

1) Boise St.
4) Mississippi St.

2) Virginia Tech
3) Northern Illinois

AT EUGENE, OR

1) Oregon
4) UConn

2) Utah
3) Nebraska

AT MADISON, WI

1) Wisconsin
4) Florida St.

2) Ohio St.
3) Central Florida

AT FORT WORTH, TX

1) TCU
4) USC

2) Alabama
3) Hawaii

AT RENO, NV

1) Nevada
4) Tulsa

2) Michigan St.
3) Texas A&M

You may hear from me later if I don't die in this blizzard. Peace Out.

Road to the Get Together: Week 8

1)Auburn
2)Alabama
3)Michigan St.
4)TCU
5)Boise St
6)LSU
7)Oregon
8)Utah
9)Wisconsin
10)Missouri
11)Ohio St
12)Oklahoma
13)Florida St.
14)Jacksonville St.
15)Stanford
16)Nebraska
17)Arizona
18)Oklahoma St.
19)Baylor
20)Hawaii
21)Nevada
22)Virginia Tech
23)Temple
24)Arkansas
25)South Carolina
26)Miami
27)Northern Illinois
28)USC
29)Iowa
30)East Carolina*
31)Troy*
32)Pitt*

*=auto bid only

Better Than The BCS: The Get Together Week 7

1)LSU
2)Boise St
3)Alabama
4)Auburn
5)TCU
6)Michigan St.
7)Oregon
8)Oklahoma
9)Utah
10)Oklahoma St.
11)Wisconsin
12)Ohio St
13)Florida St.
14)Missouri
15)Nevada
16)Jacksonville St.
17)Stanford
18)Iowa
19)West Virginia
20)Arizona
21)USC
22)Texas
23)Kansas St.
24)Northwestern
25)Virginia Tech
26)Hawaii
27)Baylor
28)Arkansas
29)Miami
30)Northern Illinois*
31)East Carolina*
32)Troy*

*In by virtue of conference championship autobid.

Get Together Rankings Week 6

1)LSU
2)Alabama
3)Oregon
4)Boise St
5)TCU
6)Auburn
7)Michigan St.
8)Ohio St
9)Oklahoma
10)Nevada
11)Utah
12)Florida St.
13)Jacksonville St.
14)Nebraska
15)Oklahoma St.
16)Stanford
17)Missouri
18)Wisconsin
19)Air Force
20)Michigan
21)Northwestern
22)South Carolina
23)Arkansas
24)N.C. St.
25)West Virginia
26)USC
27)Oregon St.
28)Iowa
29)Arizona
30)Maryland
31)Florida
32)Virginia Tech

Week 5 Get Together Rankings

1)Alabama
2)Oklahoma
3)LSU
4)Boise St
5)Oregon
6)TCU
7)Ohio St
8)Auburn
9)Northwestern
10)Michigan St.
11)Michigan
12)Nevada
13)Utah
14)Arizona
15)Jacksonville St.
16)Florida
17)Stanford
18)USC
19)Nebraska
20)Oklahoma St.
21)Missouri
22)Iowa
23)Wisconsin
24)Florida St.
25)Air Force
26)Baylor
27)Temple
28)Maryland
29)Miami
30)UCLA
31)Kansas St.
32)N.C. St.

College Football Rankings after Week 4

1)Alabama
2)LSU
3)USC
4)Boise St
5)TCU
6)Oklahoma
7)Auburn
8)Utah
9)Arizona
10)Ohio St
11)Oregon
12)Florida
13)Stanford
14)N.C. St.
15)Northwestern
16)Nebraska
17)Wisconsin
18)Michigan
19)Michigan St.
20)Missouri
21)Nevada
22)Jacksonville St.
23)Kansas St.
24)Arkansas
25)West Virginia
26)Kentucky
27)Oklahoma St.
28)James Madison
29)Texas
30)South Carolina
31)Air Force
32)Maryland

Football Rankings: For Realz

1)LSU
2)Alabama
3)Texas
4)Utah
5)Arizona
6)USC
7)Boise St
8)Ohio St
9)TCU
10)Nebraska
11)Florida
12)Oklahoma
13)Wisconsin
14)Arkansas
15)Auburn
16)West Virginia
17)Michigan St.
18)Northwestern
19)Kentucky
20)Oregon
21)South Carolina
22)Stanford
23)Michigan
24)Missouri
25)Oklahoma St.
26)N.C. St.
27)Jacksonville St.
28)Nevada
29)Temple
30)Texas A&M
31)Kansas St.
32)Fresno St.

Here are the top 32 (top 32 teams make Juice's Dream D-1 NCAA Football Get Together) through today. No records. No explanations. Look up the records if you want. I am going to periodically update this.

It is what it is

I haven't written much, because I've just lost the time and desire to do it. One thing that I will continue to slap up here is NCAA Top 25, all in advance of Juice's Dream NCAA D-I Football Get Together. Because that can't ever stop. Also, quickly here is my NFL preview

NFC EAST

Cowboys, Redskins, Eagles, Giants

NFC WEST

49ers, Seahawks, Cardinals, Rams

NFC NORTH

Packers, Vikings, Lions, Bears

NFC SOUTH

Saints, Falcons, Panthers, Bucs

AFC EAST

Patriots, Dolphins, Jets, Bills

AFC WEST

Chargers, Chiefs, Broncos, Raiders

AFC NORTH

Ravens, Steelers, Bengals, Brown

AFC SOUTH

Colts, Texans, Jags, Titans

Wild Card Round
NFC

Falcons over Cowboys
Redskins over 49ers

AFC

Chargers over Texans
Dolphins over Ravens

Divisional Round

Packers over Redskins
Saints over Falcons

Pats over Dolphins
Chargers over Colts

Conference Championships

Packers over Saints
Pats over Chargers

Super Bowl

Packers over Pats


YIKES

By Popular Demand

I've been requested to give a recap of the only thing more boring than people talking about their fantasy football teams, and/or previewing fantasy football games: someone else's fantasy football draft.

But first, this quick aside. Madden '11. Vikings at Packers. 2nd quarter. He goes down with a torn PCL. Nice.

FRIDAY NIGHT

-Mark, my brother and I meet out at a bar for dinner. We eat, have a few beers. Mark needs to go to the grocery store. We end up deciding once in for all that we are making Ron Ron Juice. I'd like to jump in on myself here and point out that the three of us are 29, 26 and 29 years old respectively. And are not teenage girls. Ok, my brother and I both had vodka on the ready, so we needed the juice and fruit. We bought it. Went back to play Mark's arcade machine, drink Kul Lite (no umlaut available on Blogger). About 2 am I died.

SATURDAY

I went home to shower. While cleaning myself, Richard asked my wife out on a date for bloody mary's. Fucking prick. He gracefully invited me. We go to Stadium View at 10:00 am. Richard's car nearly gets towed because it is a game day. They were charging to park NINE HOURS before a PRESEASON GAME. And people were paying. And tailgating. This happens nowhere else on earth, I can promise you. We have a couple of drinks and head over for some drafting. Start pounding Horny Goat beer. It is good. Finally everyone arrives. We draft. Duper/Spensely managed to draft Ben Tate, who went out for the year that very evening. Which is funny as shit. Some other questionable picks were had, and the popular quote to take away was "Any time you can get a running back that splits carries with two other running backs, you probably need to draft him."

SATURDAY NIGHT

And now things get sketchy. It is decided after the draft that it is time for Ron Ron Juice. It was delicious. Then the Packers started. Well, the offense did anyway. Defense, not so much. I'm teetering on black out by like 8 pm., so what is the next step? You guessed it. Let's go to the bars. All I can really tell you about the bars is at some point we end up at either the gayest straight bar on earth, or the straightest gay bar. It had stripper poles, and it also had nothing but guys in it. Anyway, prior to this draft, my wife felt it would be a good idea to set up one of my friends with one of her friends. And when I tell you it was a disaster of epic proportions, I wouldn't be even close to adequately describing the carnage. In no particular order, the following occurred: guy having to be coaxed into talking to girl, girl ignoring him, awkward conversation (to put it mildly), completely random non-sensical rambling/slurred speech by guy, girl wearing a sombrero, guy grabbing a FULL (and unwanted) handful of girls ass, my wife apologizing to her friend, guy getting booted from the bar for reasons unknown (although being a drunken asshole is probably one of them), guy trying to come back and getting nearly thrown down the 29 steps by the bounce, guy leaving his hat at the bar which had a house key in it for some reason, even though he clearly had pants with pockets on, guy wandering around downtown Green Bay by himself and nobody really caring that much, 6 of us eventually hopping in a cab and leaving guy downtown with Schmock.

We then got back to Mark's. Bear used the blow up mattress in the living room as a trampoline. I broke my kneecap on Bear's head. I passed out, and am still sick. Fun!

Family Night and Draft Countdown and Rambling Incoherentness

6 glorious days until OJSFA draft weekend begins! I may do a full preview later, but here is a short one:

-Drinking
-Video Games
-Lots and lots of fake (?) gayness
-Extreme inappropriateness at all times
-Questionable draft picks
-More Drinking
-Hangover

I've been bad about posting anything on here, because quite frankly, there isn't anything going on. The Brewers make me physically ill (can't wait for Brewers/Cubs on September 11th!!!), and there is nothing on television. Except for Friday Night Lights, which really deserves its own post, but I'm going to just start talking about it now.

FNL

Awesome, albeit short season. I hope it comes back. The ending this season was extremely predictable, but ultimately satisfying. I got goosebumps, not going to lie. Although I've never seen a high schooler make a 46 yard field goal, it is more realistic than a 15 yard pass that travels 75 yards in the air, and is caught by an offensive lineman or something. Anyone who doesn't watch this show is stupid. There I said it.

BUT I DIGRESS

Back to the point, now that football is upon us, I've finally got something to write about. Tonight is Family Night at Lambeau. It is just an open practice that they televise, and charge people $10 for. 70,000 people show up and get drunk on a hot summer night. Truthfully, it is pretty boring to watch. With that said, I will probably watch some of it. Football is football, even if it involves the quarterback wearing a red jersey. Not really much to preview. I predict Rodgers throws a bunch of TD passes and Todd Rundgren gets played alot. Oh, and I bet the Packers win. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the rookies play (practice). I've heard Mike Neal looks like Arnold Schwartzenagger (sp) circa the mid 80's (all natural I'm sure). I've heard undrafted FA RB Quinn Porter has been awesome. And Morgan Burnett is going to be starting, so I look forward to seeing him. I remember about 20 years ago, this thing used to be free, and took place in the afternoon. At that time it was basically the only chance I got to get into Lambeau every year, so my dad would take my brother and I. Then we would realize that it was 110 degrees, and we had no money for anything cool to drink so we would leave. I would not pay $10 for this.

MORE RAMBLING

-I'm glad the Packers extended DD. He is still really good, and he deserves it. Has shown no signs of slowing down.

-I had two Blueberry Ales from Fox River Brewing Company last night, with fresh blueberries floating in it. Delicious.

-He Who Shall Not Named and Chilly think I'm really, really stupid.

Atari, Hart, Dez, Madden, Zombies

Three thoughts:

First, what the fuck is Atari Bigby's problem? First, he screws around trying to get some kind of long term, lucrative deal from the Pack, because he is upset that he got screwed out of unrestricted free agency. He might have been rightfully pissed, but if his agent and his union had been doing their job, they could've avoided whatever surprise there was and tried to get something worked out before he got screwed. So he doesn't sign his RFA tender, and nobody offers him more money, because he was half injured, half not very good last year. The Packers go out and draft Morgan Burnett, who is probably his replacement. Rather than react to this drafting by signing his tender, showing up to offseason workouts and trying to stop Burnett from taking his job, he drags things out even longer, eventually getting even LESS money because the Packers reduced his tender after nobody else could sign him anyway. Then he signs like the week before training camp, and shows up with an injury and fails his physical. What exactly was the thinking here? Its like he kept it a secret all summer because the Packers doctors hadn't seen him since last January. Was he rehabbing it correctly? What was he doing exactly? Now Burnett is going to get reps with the ones until Bigby gets healthy. Thanks Atari.

Second, I'm not thrilled that the Crew hasn't made any moves. Maybe they didn't get offered enough. I don't have a big problem not shipping Fielder if the offers weren't great. But Hart can't be worth that much can he? I hope it was the injury that hampered this and not the Crew looking to get blown away. This has opened the door for a August/September where Corey remembers he's Corey and hits .210 with 3 HRs. And then they get nothing in the winter for Hart.

I'm going on record as being glad that Dez Bryant got hurt. Why has everyone just jumped on the Cowboys bandwagon all of a sudden? Not that the Packer's bandwagon isn't full. But the Cowboys did virtually nothing but draft Bryant, and suddenly they are the favorites. Shouldn't the Saints be considered favorites? Maybe the Queens if He comes back? I don't know why I have a problem with people thinking the Cowboys are good. Perhaps because I hate them and their fans are douchebags. That might be it.

Madden 11 comes out in 10 days. I downloaded the demo. It was fun. I will buy it. I'm almost 30.

I watched Zombieland last night. Fucking spectacular. One of the better movies I've seen in awhile. Best Abigail Breslin performance by far.

Every Time I Think I'm Done....

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Weekend Musings

-Happy 2006 every one! I officially became the last human being to join facebook yesterday. It really is an ingenious machine. What is great is that I've been on it for a day and I've already ignored two friend requests. And my mom made me here friend within 30 seconds of me signing up. Needless to say, it is going to be alot more G rated than this blog is. Hence the anonymous name. I was mildly obsessed about it for about a half day yesterday, but the excitement has worn off. I'm that guy. Now if I could just get an iPhone, I would be as cool as SportsBottle.

-I came to the realization that the past two days was the first time all season that I didn't see/follow/hear at least one pitch of back to back Brewer games. Yes, they are officially done. Also, of course Corey Hart dove into the wall and hurt himself. Thank you to Doug Melvin for screwing this one up by standing around playing with himself while we have a guy that is clearly playing out of his mind that needs to be traded now.

-My brother called me yesterday to tell him that a random co-worker of his told him that Prince was traded to the White Sox for Gavin Floyd, Gordon Beckham and a prospect. I immediately went online and couldn't even find a rumor of this. This person is an idiot.

-Seriously, football needs to start like yesterday.

-I toured the facilities for the site of the OJSFA draft on August 14th last night. I was impressed. It was nicer than I thought it would be. Mark's dog nearly ate me though. Who is going to be the first to feed it booze?

-Madden is coming out on August 10th. I will be at the store purchasing it. Allegedly they made it so you can play whole games in half the time now. Not sure how that works. But I'm excited. And I'm 29.

Annual "My Wish" Rant

Look. I don't know where anyone got the idea that I hate cancer kids. Because I don't. Their lives are horrible, and nobody should have to go through what they go through, especially at that age. (If you smoke a pack a day despite overwhelming evidence that it is horrible for you and you are probably going to get cancer, then I feel a little less bad for you). I think the fact that ESPN and the Make-a-Wish Foundation and the athletes that volunteer to make wishes come true for cancer kids are great.

But please. Don't put that shit on my fucking T.V. I typically watch parts of three SportsCenters a day. Usually about 15 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, and maybe 15 to 30 minutes at 5. And this entire week, I've managed to turn it on right as some cancer kid is playing outside linebacker for the Raiders, or doing wheelies on 4 wheelers. Regardless of whether that kid could start for the Raiders (he could). I really don't need to see this shit on my T.V. It is completely and totally self-indulgent for ESPN to put this on SportsCenter every day. There is no reason for it. This isn't that different than LeBron dragging the Boys and Girls Club kids into "The Decision". If you want to put it on your station, fine. Have a three hour special, advertise the shit out of it, turn it into some kind of telethon to raise money. But don't waste 75% of my highlight watching time for a week every summer. It just makes me angry. And I hate "THIS ISSSSSS MYYYYYYY WIIIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHH!" The song makes me want to murder someone. It has clearly replaced "This Is Our Country" as the least favorite theme song ever.

You make me watch enough pointless shit already ESPN. This is due to the fact that you are mostly good at what you do. Or you at least have the money to control all sports media. But I would rather watch 20 minutes of rumors about He Who Shall Not Be Named and his fake thinking about his fake injury every day than watch cancer kids suffer. Stop.

Jerry Kramer Is Not In the Hall of Fame?!?!?

How did I not know this? That is one of the more insane things that I've ever heard. How does a guy who was named to the NFL All-Decade team of the 1960's, and the NFL's 50th Anniversary Team, not also be a Hall of Famer? I'm just confused. I know that it is pretty hard to put numbers on Offensive Lineman, but how can you be widely considered to be one of the best at your position for an entire decade, yet not make the Hall of Fame? He's not the only one, but I don't care about Howard Mudd. What makes him not Hall worthy when Forrest Gregg and Jim Ringo are? (Answer: probably slightly longer careers and therefore a few more All-Pro selections).

But Google "Jerry Kramer Hall of Fame" and notice that there are about 1,000 articles that discuss how messed up this is, and that he is widely considered to be the best player not in the Hall of Fame. This got me thinking: What other really good 1960s Packers aren't in? Two that came to mind looking at that particular All-Decade team are Dave Robinson and Boyd Dowler. I just don't get how you can be the best at your position for an entire decade but not be a Hall of Famer. I guess it is possible. But most of those players weren't part of the above picture, which should cement it.

The $10 movie rental

Yeah, I don't have Netflix. So last night I downloaded the HD version of "Avatar" on PS3 to watch. So I pay the $5.99, which I wouldn't normally do, but I figured the $2 extra was worth it on this movie. So I pay for it, and go to download it, and my PS3 informs me that there isn't enough hard drive space. To show how little I know, it turns out that an HD movie takes up somewhere in the neighborhood of 40GB of space, while standard definition takes up something like 15GB. And I have a 20GB PS3. It was nice of them to charge me first before they informed me that I was an idiot. Fuck me. Now, I had to either pay another $4 for the standard version, or not watch a movie. I paid the money. It was still like $20 cheaper than going to the theater I guess. The movie was alright. Not awful. I probably wouldn't watch it again or anything unless it was on TV. The moral of the story is that I'm kind of dumb.

Oh, and fuck Bobby Cox. If I were Jason Hayward, I would go to the plate with body armor on today.

Well Worth 10 Minutes (NSFW, Language, Fighting Pregnant Chicks/Burger King)

Video Titled: "Pregnant in Oakland Parking Lot Brawl (dude wrecks prego ho)" Seriously. Good times. But yeah. Also involved? No pants, throwing baby seats, pit bulls and people hitting police officers riding motorcycles with cars. I'm fairly certain this is in the United States in 2010. Oh, and the written recap is spectacular. If you are going to do anything today. Go somewhere that allows F-words and Ebonics and enjoy.

Whatever Comes To Mind

Today is without a doubt, the worst day of the year in sports. There is NOTHING on. Say what you want about baseball, but at least it provides and excuse to look at your fantasy lineup. Today there is NOTHING. I'm for sure not watching the shitty ESPYs. There is nothing on TV. My DVR is blank. Maybe I can read a book? I dunno. Whatever it is isn't going to be fun. The NFL needs to be 365 days a year. And thank (Sports Bottle's) god for British Open and baseball tomorrow.

Speaking of the NFL. The stuff surrounding the Packer's financials, and the background of a separate dispute between owners scares the shit out of me. I'm fairly certain I can't survive a season (or more) without the NFL. Please get this worked out.

Charles Woodson. Defensive Player of the Year. Heisman winner. Life saver. Pretty awesome.

A lot of Corey Hart/Prince Fielder/Rickie Weeks rumors and rumblings. I've heard enough idiots talk about this in Green Bay. Here is another idiot talking about them. Let's do it bullet form, one by one shall we?

-Corey Hart: He's gotta go. The value will never be higher. Take this from a guy who has watched about every game for the last three years. He will hit .200 in August. Mark it down. If you can get anything useful (4 or 5 starter, or a high reward lower-level prospect with #2-ish potential) do it. We don't have anyone great to replace him right now, but OF are generally not that hard to find. We need help in the rotation now, but it is a little unclear if Milwaukee is truly going to contend next season by just adding an above average starter. Especially if they trade...

-Prince Fielder: It is unclear whether the Crew will trade him now or not. I think he has the most value right now, because whatever team gets him is getting him next year too (where they could trade him for value if they tank later). He's got a ton of value overall. I gotta think some team will grossly overpay for him. Also, the Crew has a less than 0% chance of keeping him beyond next year. We are basically the Toronto Raptors with Chris Bosh prior to this offseason. The Crew needs to be careful, because we need something of impact this season or next. I just don't think we can possibly afford to screw around a whole lot and end up with nothing. We have no clear replacement at 1B in the system, but 1B is not an overly difficult position to play on defense (see Prince Fielder), and any good bat will do. I've heard Braun or Gamel to 1B thrown around. Either could adequately replace Fielder's D you would think.

-Rickie Weeks: Are they offering him up? Lots of conflicting reports. On one side, I think we kind of know what we are going to get with Weeks. He is a decent hitter, with decent power, at a position that isn't generally very strong on offense. His defense is below average, and he has the incredible ability to lean into pitches. Because of the position he plays, his offense is a much bigger asset than similar numbers from Corey Hart are in RF. This is because there are very few good hitting 2B. Coincidentally, it appears we have another good bat at 2B in AA in Brett Lawrie. But he's not ready yet. At this point, I think you have to hang onto Weeks until next year at the very least unless you get blown away. The Crew isn't in rebuilding mode exactly. There are some pieces that could compete for a playoff spot at least.

Alot of what happens in the next few weeks is going to hinge on what happens with Prince. If they trade him, I don't see the playoffs next year, and at that point prospects for he and Hart make more sense than guys who are average MLB players that could contribute immediately. But maybe someone will blow us away for immediate, young contributors. It will be interesting to watch at least.

I Hate Watching Dave Bush Pitch...

..And I am lucky enough to get to "see" him tomorrow. I took the liberty of putting "see" in quotes, because I'm hoping to be seeing double by the time the first pitch is thrown. If my performance last year at this event (and I do believe this is turning into an annual event) is any indication, things are going to get sloppy. Sports Bottle is hosting the event, which coincides with his girlfriends' birthday. I just hope that her family and friends are as accepting of me as she is. I assume she wouldn't have allowed Sports Bottle to invite me if she wasn't. Especially since every time I've met her I've been pretty super drunk.

I don't want to make any promises, but I certainly am not going to rule out lobbing a few f-bombs at nearby six year olds. My modest goal is to make it to the end of the game without blacking out, and being functional enough to go to a bar afterwards. Last year? Not so much.

I will make one prediction. I don't think the birthday girl makes it back to the car after the game without vomiting. I'm throwing it out there. That is a pretty long window if we get there at 3 and don't leave until 9 or 10. There is a pretty decent chance that someone will bring a random bottle of shitty booze to do shots off of, or there will be a beer bong or shotgun or something that can make someone puke even if they aren't shitfaced. Remember Sports Bottle, it is her birthday. Be nice. And good luck with that.

So back to Bush. For some reason, he pitches in 75% of the games I go to. And his wind up makes me physically ill. That stupid pause drives me crazy. And he generally gets smashed all over the yard, except for the time I saw him pitch 8 innings of shutout ball. I predict drunken boos from Miller Park.

The Plane Has Crashed Into The Mountain

"This team is toast."--Tom Hardicourt. I really couldn't have said it better. Pity poor Hardicourt for being forced to watch this shit on a daily basis. At least I can change the channel. He ends the article with "They are embarrassing themselves." Wow.

On the bright side, guess who's not going to work, but going to Miller Park with a bunch of drunken factory workers? This guy! And who is going to a game on Saturday? This guy! And who is going to the second annual Brewers-Cubs, try not to get murdered because not only are the FIBs drunk, but they are also bitter because the Cubs are somehow worse than the Brewers, game in September. Wheeeee!

Seriously, fucking trade Corey Hart right this fucking instant. And listen REALLY hard on Prince. That is all.

LEBRON

Like I'm not watching that shit tonight. Although "sources" have already leaked that he is going to the Heat. Although it has already been definitively reported that he was going to Chicago, New York and Cleveland this week too, so I don't take alot of stock in "sources". Also, whoever wrote the article on ESPN.com that I didn't read that said that this was worse than anything He Who Shall Not Be Named has done to America, is an idiot. Le Bron hasn't done this six straight years.

Early OJSFA Picks

So Bear and T.J. both kept 2 WRs and a RB. One of the WR names is Sidney Rice (not related to Jerry Rice). Good luck when He Who Shall Not Be Named obviously retires. Also, Bear left two time MVP Tom Brady, LeSean McCoy and Brandon Marshall unprotected (fuck his team was good).

The draft rolls on.

Some Day, There Will Be Some Lucky Kid (Maybe)...

To the surprise of nobody, I am probably not father material. This is further evidenced by yesterday, when speaking to a good friend of mine about meeting up for dinner, I asked: "Are you bringing the kid?" Immediately my wife burst out laughing. There was a short bout of silence and laughing on the other end of the phone. The kid? Not her or him. But IT.

Here's the thing. I asked for a valid reason. I didn't want to pick someplace to eat that a kid couldn't go to. And I've never met this particular kid, so I'm not certain what it can handle. So I felt like it was a valid question, even if worded awkwardly.

Plus, I don't know what those things eat. And I felt like I needed to pick a place in a good neighborhood so nobody stole it while it was in the car while we were inside eating.

I am going to apologize in advance for accidentally stepping on the kid at dinner tonight.

Super Bowl Or DIE?!?!?

I like it. Nick Barnett is a bad man.

More Nightmares and an Interesting Debate

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