All-Decade List: Technology

I was throwing around the idea of doing a whole bunch of all-decade lists, because I am just as qualified as anyone else (not really) to make these kinds of lists. I still might do some, but I realized how much thought could actually go into some of these. For instance, "Songs of the Decade". There are probably like 12 million songs put out in the decade. Not that you need to listen to all of them, but you probably have to hear most of them. So when I do that list when I'm sitting around bored the day after Christmas, take it with a whole bunch of grains of salt. I decided I was going to do one based on "Technology created in the last decade that changed my life the most." This has to be something that didn't exist before 2000. I'm going to throw some on here that probably only changed my life from an advertising/envy standpoint, and that for whatever reason I never actually owned. Feel free to suggest others in the comments, as I will surely miss one or ten.

1) The iPod

I got the whole idea for the list as I was listening to my "2005" playlist on my iPod on the way to "work" and I realized that the fucker is turning 5 this week. Five years for any piece of technology, especially in today's day and age, is like turning 300 in human years. I've dropped this thing, subjected it to temperatures ranging from -40 to 120. And it still works. The battery only lasts about 40 minutes without being charged and I can no longer use it as a running aid because it doesn't like being shaken. But it still plays music in my car. I've got well over 3,000 songs on it, which prior to 2000 would have involved numerous books of CDs that took up alot of space, and got scratched. I would say that not only in the vehicle, but exercising, the iPod was the technological advance of the decade. At least personally.

2) PlayStation 3

And I haven't even hooked it up to the Internet yet (I actually have ordered the equipment to do it). I was an early adopter, getting mine in 2007. While it is hard to waste as much time as I did with PSone or PS2, based on age and responsibility, it has still been life altering.

3) DVR

This probably should be higher, but I'm too lazy to cut and paste. You'll never miss a TV show again. You can record sporting events and avoid society until you have time to watch. Unbelievable advance.

4) Blu-Ray

I have one by way of my PS3. I have watched very few honestly. I'm a little behind on this one, and I don't have much excuse other than I don't watch that many movies, and don't really rent them. I was one of the first persons I knew to have a DVD player (1998) and have a Blu-Ray player (2007) but now I'm severely behind in that category. That being said, they are spectacular and I should run out and melt all my DVDs.

5) Wii

I don't own one (although my wife seems to want one for some reason), and I don't think I would sit and play one by myself. But it is one of the coolest things to have at your house when you have people over. It is really, really fun. Just make sure you use the wrist strap, especially when you are hammered.

6) Big Ten Network

I have it, and the fact that I can watch 99% of Badger games makes it a) awesome and b) has changed my life

7) NFL Network

Great, great channel. And since I have a Dish, I have it. Football 24/7.

STUFF I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE, BUT EITHER HAVE USED, OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS, AND PERHAPS I WOULD LIKE IT, BUT IT HAS CHANGED THE WORLD FOR WHATEVER REASON

8) Netflix

I have resolved to get this in 2010. There are too many movies/TV series I have missed out on, that need to be rented. And I will get Blu Ray for sure.

9) iPhone

Seriously fucking cool. I still want one. Rumor has it that there is AT&T 3G in Green Bay now. I'm hoping within the next 18 months Apple allows Verizon to have the iPhone. I would get one in a second. That being said, fuck everyone that sits on it non-stop when we are sitting at a bar. There are commercials every 12 seconds for it.

10) Xbox 360

In my mind it is PS3 lite. But for those who like Xbox, I guess it is pretty good.

Full (Frontal) Disclosure

So this is a little awkward, but I didn't want to not tell anyone what was going on. Or tell only some of you, and have someone feel left out. So I'm going to rely on the blog to tell the story, even though nobody reads it. This thing is sort of like my personal diary or what have you, but all I usually do is bitch about He Who Shall Not Be Named or (insert Brewer player here). Because generally, that is all I concern myself with, other than work, which I wouldn't wish hearing me bitch about on my worst enemy.

About a month ago I had that slurred speech shit which resulted in a trip to the emergency room, and a diagnosis of "Bell's Palsy". However, the doctor in the ER had me schedule an appointment with a neurologist just to be safe.

After listening my symptoms and family history, I underwent an MRI of my brain. The MRI showed some lesions and swelling and shit, so more tests were scheduled. About three weeks ago I had a spinal tap. Which if you've never had the pleasure of experiencing, doesn't actually hurt as bad as you think. The worst part was having to lie flat on your back, sans pillow, for 12 hours.

What the doctor was testing for was multiple sclerosis, because of the lesions, and because my mom has it too.

Fortunately, the additional tests came back normal. Unfortunately, these tests can only confirm MS if they come back bad, not rule it out. See, MS is a fucking mystery, wrapped inside of a conundrum. Even doctors who devote their lives can't explain what causes it, or tell you how it will affect a person. It is all about playing odds. And there is no cure. Because of the MRI and because of the family history, I was diagnosed with "probable MS". Basically, the doctor opined that he was pretty sure I have it, although he can't guarantee me either way. His feeling was that it was caught too early to clinically diagnose.

I was given two choices: 1) do nothing and do another MRI in 3 months to see what happens, which will prove absolutely nothing most likely, or act like I have it and treat it aggressively. The pros of the second option is that it would likely stem the tide of bad shit starting, and preventing attacks (mine manifested itself as slurred speech, but it also affects vision, causes headaches, and affects muscle function), and likely prevent any of the really bad shit from happening (paralysis, inability to work). Of course, none of this is a guarantee. Apparently, you can go from being completely healthy and young, and diagnosed early to being in a wheelchair, or you can be a old, useless fat fuck who catches it late, and be fine forever. I have alot peripherals in my favor to start. Plus my mom has had it for 8 or 9 years and is relatively fine. The cons of starting treatment is that it is a pain in the ass, because it involves giving yourself a shot every day. I decided to go with treatment, because I'm not much of a gambler when it comes to potential paralysis.

So what does this all mean for the future? I don't know shit. And I won't know until it happens. All I can do is take the shots and keep a positive attitude, and deal with whatever might happen. Which might be nothing. It is all a crapshoot. So nothing is going to change for now. I'm going to work out a little more. The medication I chose supposedly has few side effects and shouldn't change everyday life much. And I feel fine now, just like before, so other than the shots, I should be able to put it out of my mind. Two years from now, if all the shit on my brain goes away, I might be able to be told that I never had it. But it will take that long to find out if the medication was merely working, or if I don't' actually have it.

One interesting thing is that I was told that while I didn't have to stop drinking, alcohol affects someone with MS more than a normal person. For instance, I told the doctor about all the weddings and bachelor parties upcoming, and asked him if I went out and had 20 beers if it would kill me or make the MS worse. He said no, but it would be like you had 30 beers. So expect quite a few blackouts this month.

Anyway, sorry for the serious shit. I'm not looking for pity or condolences. Just wanted to put it out there because I don't really want to dwell on it anymore, though you guys should know, and that if you find some syringes in my bag, it isn't heroin. I encourage you to pass this on to anyone you think should know, because I'm not going to personally pass this on to anyone else.

Tennis Anyone?

I am actually mildly interested in watching Roger Federer v. Andy Roddick this morning. So interested that I've already watched like 5 minutes of it, and now I am sitting on my patio and I can almost hear it in the background. Eventually I might even go inside and watch the ending. I know Roddick was somehow up 1 set to nothing. I'm led to believe this would be a gigantic upset. I truthfully haven't watched any Wimbledon since I was in high school and it would be on during the day in the summer, and gave me something to do when I wasn't playing Tecmo Bowl. Tennis is actually not that bad. At least I can understand what is happening.

Brewers crushed yesterday because I didn't watch. When I watch today, they will lose.

I got sucked into "Crimson Tide" last night. What a great fucking movie.

Oh, and a NFL QB from Mississippi was found shot to death. And it wasn't who I had hoped. I'm not even going to begin to list how many things were wrong with that statement. Thoughts to the family.

Bees?

Jesus Christ. My worst nightmare. Unless a game gets cancelled due to spiders.

Finally saw "The Hangover" last night. It was one of the few movies I've seen recently that was worth every penny. I was in tears when the dude was carrying that baby around with the sunglasses on.

Man, I hate the fucking Cubs.

Pop Culture Interlude

For weeks now, I've been telling people that they need to watch The Real World. There has been a running subplot that has gone on e for two episodes that I haven't been able to delve into yet. The insanity hurts my brain. There is a black dude with dreds on the show who has appeared in at least 7 different colors of shirts that have "Michigan State" across the chest in standard block lettering.

Red
Blue
Pink
Orange
Powder Blue
Purple
Black

This has driven me absolutely insane, because he doesn't wear anything else, and every time they show him, he has a different one on. I don't know where he gets them, but I am going to burn down that store. End of rant.

-My guess is that I will last until the third quarter of the NBA finals game that will end at midnight.

I got carded

For the first time in my life, I got carded to when purchasing a video game. Here is a transcript of the conversation.

BEST BUY FLUNKY: "Can I see your ID?"

ME: "Are you serious?"

BBF: "Yes."

ME: "Can't say I've ever gotten carded to buy a video game before. Must be a good one."

BBF: "So I've heard."

ME: "Does it come with a shot or something."

BBF: Stares at me with an empty look in his eyes, as if he wants to end it all.

So yeah, I guess at age 27, people are worried that I'm going to start acting out the scenes in Grand Theft Auto IV. Game is good. It will probably be the only non-sports game I buy for a long, long time. Now if you excuse me, my neighbor has a Molotov cocktail with his name on it.

The Morning Dump

This is a collection of things that have been rattling around in my brain, but I don't have the creativity and/or material to write an entire post on it, but I can't simply let them go because I like to see my thoughts written down into words. Surely nobody else is reading this anyway. (Now Including Free Bullet Points!!!)

- I saw on PTI yesterday that a 4 year old hit a hole in one in Colorado on a 91 yard "par 3" using a Snoopy driver. My first thought was, good for him, his life has peaked at 4 and he had nothing to look forward to. My second thought was that his parents should be arrested for duct taping a golf club to a freaking 4 year old. YOUR KID IS NOT GOING TO BE TIGER WOODS. THERE IS NO FUCKING CHANCE THAT GOLFING WAS HIS IDEA. LET THE KID EAT GLUE AND PLAY WITH TRANSFORMERS FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS! But no, you have to ruin your kids life by forcing him to golf 36 holes a day before he is in kindergarten. I can already see the dad quitting his job and putting a second mortgage on the house so he can take this kid around the country to play in tournaments at age 5, and enrolling him in some special school that concentrates on golf skills. Then the kid will turn 14 and get a sponsors exemption to play in a PGA event, shoot an 83, and spend the next 15 years at Q-school trying to qualify. This kid is going to be Todd Marinovich if he's lucky.

- The Brewers are getting increasingly difficult to invest any time into watching. Not only are they playing like shit, they just don't really seem like they are even trying, which is even more frustrating. They have lost 5 straight to teams that they are better than on paper. I heard yesterday that the guy who started for the Marlins spent all of last season in single A. They made him look like fucking Sandy Koufax last night. I am sort of one of the people Bear describes, that get all panicky in May. Because I am just failing to see how I am supposed to have any confidence that they are going to flip the switch and turn it around. They aren't pitching very well, but they couldn't win even if they were because they aren't hitting at all. However, we probably should just take a deep breath and compare ourselves to other situations around the league. Take a look at some other teams in the MLB standings: Yankees (17-18), Indians (16-17), Tigers (15-20), Mariners (14-21), Rockies (13-21), Padres (12-22). Those are six teams that many expected to be in the playoffs, or at least contend, that have the same or worse records than the Brewers. As an outside observer, I feel like I have some confidence that all of those teams can turn it around, and I don't know if its that I watch every Brewer game that doesn't give me the same hope for them or what, but maybe I should believe in the Crew more. Regardless, until Rickie Weeks (.194 BA!!!!) stops hitting leadoff, it is going to be painful to watch every pitch.

- A mini-interlude: Did anyone see "The Real World" last night? I sort of got dragged into watching this with my wife a few years back. Usually, it is sort of a parody of itself, and isn't that entertaining. Last night though, was a fucking life altering episode. It was one of the most intense shows ever. One of the dudes is like this alcoholic body builder guy, who fell off the wagon by going on the show. He got all wasted, came home from the bars at like 4 a.m., and then pounded a six pack and one of those gigantic bottles of cheap wine. Then he went off the fucking deep end with this insane laugh (kind of like The Joker, only scarier), and started punching himself in the face and headbutting the wall and shit. Then he started threatening to physically harm the girls that were in the house saying: "I'll knock their asses the fuck out! One punch, just like this!" And then he would punch himself in the face. Anyways, it was an epic, epic meltdown. Well worth watching one of the 273 times MTV replays it between now and next Wednesday.

- Cedric Benson's "friends" account of what happened on the boat doesn't really make me believe him any more. She claims she called her dad to call 911 because she heard Cedric yelling and assumed he was being beaten by police and "didn't seem intoxicated". Why she didn't call 911 herself, I dunno. Unless she was standing right next to him as he was getting pepper sprayed, this doesn't help him. I also fully expect the other 14 people on the boat to come to his defense because a) he's got a lot of money; b) most people don't really like police pepper spraying their friends. She just isn't in a position to be credible or very believable. The one thing I do find fascinating is that he was pulled over 6 times on his boat, which seems almost impossible. That is the best fact he has going for him at this point. It certainly sounds like they were out to get him, if that fact is true. Still, if he can be proven to be legally drunk (and it sounds like he refused a test, which means he is probably automatically considered legally intoxicated), then he still really doesn't have much of a defense to any of this.

- Mini-interlude #2: Season finale of "The Office", new episode of "Lost" and Game 3 of Hornets-Spurs gives me a small twitch in my pants.

I have got NOTHING to do at work today, so I will probably get bored and throw something else up later. That is if I am not arrested for stealing my paycheck first.

Pop Culture Interlude

Today I bring you a review of the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Generally, I judge a movie I've seen on whether or not I regret spending the $25.00 it cost me to see it. Things I enjoy in movies include: comedy, swearing, nudity, bad-assness and shit blowing up.

The only complaint I had at all about this movie was the fact that I saw the main characters crank without warning at least 4 too many times.

The movie was f-ing hilarious. The new rockstar boyfriend was a great, great character. Random shots of Mila Kunis's titty balls. Kristen Bell and Mila being scantily clad/90% naked for a good portion of the movie was nice too. Although some FEmale full frontal would have been nice.

It compares nicely to: Knocked Up and Superbad (which makes sense because it has the same creators)

I would recommend it. It was worth $25.