Wagering Extravaganza

I'm up about $77 over the past couple days. On Christmas it was the NBA carrying me to a $23 overall win and yesterday it was mainly the NHL leading me to a $54 win. Going in to today I'm up about $33 this week.

Account balance - $113.60

I thought of an idea today to make my wagering interactive with our loyal readers (Bear and Juice). I think next Sunday I'm gonna be taking suggestions for the NFL games. We'll put together a large parlay and I'll be willing to mail a very small percentage of the possible winnings to those who participate.

A lot of action today. I have a couple large NFL parlays using the money line favorites. I also did a large parlay with all underdogs covering the spread (i.e. Seahawks +14 against the Pack). I took the Cowboys -7.5 tonight against the Redskins on Sunday Night Football. I have Clemson -6.5 in the Music City Bowl against Kentucky. And then of course I have my NHL parlay.

Moving on.....

If I wasn't a Packer fan I would think it's hilarious that Jaret Bush is an NFL player. TJ Houshmandoaonhaoiurezadeh just did a "double move" on Bush for a big pass play. There was no double move. Not even close. He just kinda ran slightly inside and then ran slightly to the outside and burned Bush. As the ball was in the air I already knew it was Bush playing D, and I use the phrase "playing D" loosely. I can already see it now. Our first playoff game. Crosby misses 7 field goals and Bush gets burned for 5 tds.

Why does no one ever bitch about the TV timeout in basketball? It's such an unnatural pause in a basketball game and can artificially ruin a team's momentum. There are 8 of them in a college basketball game. I just think it's strange and annoying.

My big Christmas gift this year was, pause........ wait for it ......... A VACUUM!!!!! That's right boys and girls, I've reached the age when it's acceptable to receive a vacuum as my big gift.

Not that I give a shit, but McCarthy just challenged the stupidest play. Deion Branch obviously had two feet in. That's just a waste of a timeout. I'd be more pissed if it was the 2nd half, but come on. Who's upstairs advising that dipshit to challenge in the first place?

More Fun With Wagering

Twinkie redeemed himself after his terrible call yesterday about the FCS Championship, although the redemption is completely imagined. I accidentally bet on Wyoming tonight +10.5 when Twinkie actually told me to bet on Montana last night against Villanova. So, I'll still give him credit as Wyoming won a great game in OT and won me $4.54. Also, Twinkie continuously makes reference to our next Vegas trip. I will go on record right now and state Twinkie will not be going on another Vegas vacation...... ever. At least not with a bunch of guys again.

Saturday was a decent day. It started out slow as #8 Tennessee lost to USC. That knocked out two parlays right off the bat. I had UWGB by 9 pts. They won by 8, successfully knocking out my $500 parlay. At that point I only had two more parlays in play. So I regrouped, came home for my dinner break and placed a few more bets. Rutgers won me $5 in their bowl game brought to you by Beef O'Bradys. The Magic, Lakers, Spurs, Rockets and Suns won bringing me $10. And a random 7 team college basketball parlay won me $21.

As I sit here I was thinking I was about to win 2 NHL parlays as the Oilers went into the 3rd period up 2-0 against the Capitals. I was getting 1.5 goals, meaning the Capitals would have to score 4 unanswered goals in the 3rd period. Right now it's 4-2 Capitals with 45 seconds left. I can't fucking believe this. That would be another $33 if the Oilers didn't shit the bed in the 3rd.

Now it's over and the day ends on a bad note. 4 unanswered goals? Ovechkin got pissed and scored 2 goals and added an assist.

Hopefully Sunday will be a repeat of last Sunday when I climbed from almost broke back to over $100.

Account balance - $92.17

Moving on.....

The Bucks blew another close game today. They simply can't play D when they need to. But they continue to prove they are much better than expected.

I went on Ebay the other day to find my girlfriend a Nintendo Gamecube game she's always talking about. While on Ebay I made an amazing discovery. There are now dual Nintendo/Super Nintendo consoles. I totally bought one and it is sitting next to me as we speak. I will totally be hooking it up when I post this. I also bought Super Tecmo Bowl for Nintendo, Super Tecmo Bowl III for Super Nintendo and Zelda for Super Nintendo. Fucking. Awesome. My future children will be pissed when I'm always playing the Playstation 7 that I bought them (myself) for Christmas

Daily Wagering and Thursday Results

A minor loss yesterday. I actually won two single bets, and allow me to pat myself on the back. I liked the Jags at home but I didn't like the +4. So I bought half a point and made it +4.5. Jags lost by 4, and I won. I'm fucking brilliant. I also won the over 202.5 in the Suns/Blazers game.

I was contacted by a voice from above this morning. I was given some insider info for a bowl game tomorrow tonight. That voice from above was the omnipotent stud himself, Twinkie. He told me to take the +10.5 on Wyoming vs Fresno St. He also told me to take the under 55. I'm leaning toward the over so I'll just skip it altogether. But I will place $5 on the +10.5. If I lose, Twinkie's a dick and he owes me $5.

****UPDATE - My apologies to Twinkie. For some reason I thought he was talking about Wyoming when he was actually talking about the FCS Championship tonight and Montana vs Villanova. Twinkie says the only thing I would need to worry about is Montana blowing Nova out. I then informed him Montana is actually a 2 pt underdog. He can't believe this, so I'm set to win $5 if Montana wins.

Account balance --- $94.00

Monday Results

Six total bets and I won one of them resulting in an overall win of about $2. I won a three team college basketball parlay - Troy +17, Georgia Tech -16.5 and Florida Atlantic for $27.13. I can't believe how bad the Cardinals looked last night. I had them at -4. I tried a lucrative NBA parlay that would've paid $375 and I actually came pretty close. I also missed an NHL parlay due to a late goal by the Canucks. I'm liking the spread in the NHL games. They are always 1.5 goals either way. So I'll either pick a team at +1.5 or I'll pick a team to win straight up. There are so many one goal games.

I have six more wagers tonight with two more of those lucrative parlays (college basketball and NBA). I also have a nice NHL parlay in there too.

Total account balance prior to today's bets - $125.77.

Sunday Results

Big day for me on Sunday.

• won an 8 team money line parlay - $5 won $42.97
• won a 4 team NBA parlay with over/under, money line and spread - $5 won $23.41
• won an NFL prop bet - first score of Redskins/Raiders would be a FG - $8.41 won $9.25
• won a 2 team NHL parlay - $5 won $8.32
• won 2 team NFL parlay - $5 won $5.76

If the Bears would've covered 4.5 I would've won another $140. Fucking Mason Crosby fucked that up for me. Had he hit that FG the Pack would've been up 10. The Bears possibly drive for a late TD and lose by 3. But by missing that I didn't have much of a chance.

The account balance is up to $123.14, meaning you'll have to put up with my obsession for about one more week. I've made back my 2nd installment and plan to ride this wave to an early retirement.

I've come to realize you start to understand what bets to place a little better the more you do it. Not to suggest I'll start winning, but I know a lot more about a lot more teams right now. Like Boston College is awful. They've lost to Harvard and Rhode Island back to back.

Other thoughts -

Mason Crosby needs to be cut right now. We are incredibly lucky his dick suckiness hasn't cost us a game. You could hear the sadness in the radio announcers voices when he missed that FG today. I don't care who they get. Pick up the dude the Redskins just cut. Maybe a change of scenery will help that guy and maybe Crosby will benefit as well.

What is it about the 2nd half of games. The Packers simply suck. The term "it" is applied to many teams and players. The Packers don't have "it." At least not yet.

Bears fans were so pumped to get Jay Cutler. My dad has a friend in Chicago who told him before the year began that they finally had the guy to win them a championship. He has great skills, there's no doubt about that. But he doesn't have "it" either. He simply sucks this year. Besides, he looks like a whiny little brat.

The Bucks are entirely unpredictable. They almost beat the Celtics at Boston. And they won a great doubt OT game against the Blazers, although they shit the bed in the 4th quarter and almost lost. They're much better than expected and maybe a playoff team without a very good record. Brandon Jennings is the go-to clutch player. He's a stud in the making, but not quite there yet, too inconsistent. We'll groom him into an All Star and then he'll go to NY or LA in a couple years. Michael Redd is done. He makes this team worse. Trade him. Now.

Daily Wagering 12/11

Fuck over 196.5. Fuck Colorado. Go Penguins.

The "free money" was a bonus I received for making at $100 deposit. I took the $10 bonus and bet on the Penguins straight up. I won about $6.50. I keep the $6.50 but don't get the $10 back. Fair enough.

Tonight - 3 team NHL parlay, 4 team NBA parlay, 3 team NCAA bball parlay. I don't have it in front of me right now so I don't know the specifics. I'm not in a place where it would be wise to check info like that.

Daily Wagering 12/9

Today is a new day. Taking it one day at a time. It is what it is. Blah blah blah.

I'm fired up. I have some large wagers on the line. And my account balance is now at $0.00. I placed all the remaining money on bets today.

I've been pondering Juice's advice, and of course I had already pondered it before he mentioned it, but I just can't lay off the parlays. They are simply too much fun.

I have a simple college basketball parlay, very similar to the parlay I won yesterday using my (non) foolproof plan. Boston College, St Johns, Indiana St, Villanova, San Diego St and Southern Illinois. All are -700 or more. 8 to win 6.15. Add the Lakers and Spurs to that 5 to win 6.18.

The rest of my bets have relatively high payouts.

4 team NHL parlay. I'm due to win an NHL bet. Capitals, Devils, Blackhawks, Avalanche. All money line. 5 to win 33.04.

4 team NBA parlay, which I have no chance of winning. Bulls/Hawks over 196.5, Pistons +3.5, Warriors -110 and Cavaliers -2.5. 5 to win 60.

4 team college basketball parlay - Badgers -6, Michigan +1, Western Michigan -2.5 and Arizona -250. 5 to win 44.

And with my remaining 5.55 I decided to go out with a bang. A 15 team parlay combining NBA and NCAA. 5.55 to win 90.44.

As soon as I lose all these bets, which will be around 11 o'clock central time, I will begin to mull over another hundred bucks. I will allow my decision to be swayed by our loyal readers.

Daily Wagering 12/7

I got anally raped yesterday, but I took it with a smile on my face.

I'm gonna get the update out of the way before I start crying -

• pending wagers - $20
• current balance - $43.69
• actual balance - $63.69
• overall progress - (46.74)

I didn't realize it until late last night that the Patriots cost me $50. I can't fucking believe they lost to the Dolphins. What the FUCK. I also lost $5 on a shootout loss by the Ducks to the Senators (as a side note, watching shootout updates on a cell phone is not as exciting as watching it on TV). I read recently that Kansas went on a 36-0 run against Alcorn St the other day. The Bucks, not wanting to be outdone, allowed a 29-0 run to the Cavs. That's is simply unbfuckinglievable. Suffice it to say they did not cover the +8. I did place a last second bet on the Giants yesterday, and they performed admirably, giving me somewhat of a moral victory.

Fuck Brandon Lang.

So, I've spent this entire NFL season watching the Vikings do whatever they want. It was all so easy, and all so frustrating to watch. He Who Shall Not Be Named never got touched. Jared Allen never got blocked. With this in mind I decide to turn the tables and bet on the Vikings favored by 4. Out of 12 games, they've covered the spread or at least barely missed covering the spread in 11. I choose the one game they were out of at halftime.

I did win one of my (non) foolproof parlays, though. Automatic.

Moving on.....

All my Packer bets were part of parlays I lost yesterday, so I was forced to make a couple new ones, including a prop bet. I took the Packers at -3.5 for $5 to win $4.55. I also took the prop bet that the first score of the game will NOT be a touchdown $5 to win $7.

(Non) foolproof parlay of the day - college basketball - Seton Hall, Texas A&M, Auburn (iffy pick), Michigan St and Bradley. $5 to win $6.88.

I also placed a long term boxing (non) foolproof bet - 8 matches to be decided over the next few weeks - $5 to win $13.96.

As I type this I placed a 4 team NBA money line bet. Again, money line is simply picking the winner. Nuggets, Trail Blazers, OKC and Spurs. $5 to win $24.90. Needless to say, this bet is much more important than the Packer game and I'm seriously debating whether or not to get the NBA Season Pass application that will allow me to listen to any NBA game on my phone.

Gambling lesson of the day - Prop Bets. Not being able to come up with a definition, I'll use an example. Every NFL game has a ton of prop bets (i.e. who scores first, will a team score within the first 7.5 minutes, will a team score 3 or more unanswered times, etc). Prop bets are bets that have nothing to do with the final outcome of a game. Tonight, ideally, the Packers will score first with a field goal and win me 7 fucking big ones.

If I don't turn things around today it appears I'll be on life support soon. I have authorized myself another hundy if need be, but I'm not sure I'll go through with it. But this is so much fun.

Degenerate

Although I'm probably putting my entire financial future on the line, I finally made a difficult decision. I was actually choosing between two options, but I took the option that keeps a part of Vegas flowing within me. I dropped a hundy at BestUS.com. I have a couple friends who have done this for the past couple years and they've had no problems, but when I wasn't immediately authorized by my credit card company due to it being an international purchase, the red flags were not raised. I'm pretty sure some dude in the Bahamas just bought a cache of illegal arms off the black market with my credit card to fuel a civil war in some African country I've never heard of, but I did win $16 on the Kings game last night, so I don't care.

I wish I could have gotten a post in before the Badger/Duke game last night. I knew it would be close and was not at all surprised Bucky won. First of all, that was a HUGE homecourt advantage. The crowd was insane. Secondly, the two teams aren't that much different. Duke is not as athletic as they usually are, and they are much slower than people realize. The Badgers have the perfect offense for their talent, Duke does not. And Duke's big white guys are inept at this point in the season. Zoubek is completely useless and the others are all really young. Singler was the best player on the court along with Hughes, but, let's face it, he's white and thus can't be trusted. He doesn't create his own shot very well and he took some extremely retarded shots. Thirdly, the Badgers couldn't miss during the first 75% of the first half. They won't do that again the rest of the season and that's what won them the game.

Storming the court should be embarassing to any Badger fan. I hate Badger basketball and even I was embarassed.

Tiger Woods. I'm sure most conjecture about what actually happened is pretty close to the truth. A couple things are obvious. Tiger fucks other women. Period. And he's been doing it for awhile. Period. Elin knocked out those windows in a fit of rage, not some heroic effort to save her injured, adulterous husband. It's not any of my business. It's not any of your business. But we're beginning to realize he is not as smart as we all thought he was. If you're famous and are fucking random women, people are going to find out, and those random not famous women are gonna keep souvenirs. If you're famous and single there are a million things to be wary about. But if you're the most famous athlete in the world what are you thinking? Is Elin not hot enough? I'm not one to say just because a woman is hot there's nothing wrong with her. For every hot chick there's some dude who's sick of her shit. But, come on, do you think no one will notice? And you sound like a bitch in that voicemail message.

There are two ways to look at this. 1) This is a private issue and it's no one's business but Tiger's and his family's or 2) The whole "I didn't sign up for this" argument that Tiger uses is complete bullshit. This is exactly what you signed up for.

My opinion is a mix of the two. Tiger needs to be realistic. The media frenzy isn't a new phenomena. His "apology" on his website was fucking ridiculous. "I apologize to my family... but fuck the media. I can't believe they're doing this to me." This is what leads me to believe Tiger isn't as smart as I thought he was. But, if he doesn't want to explain himself at all, he doesn't have to and he shouldn't be compelled to. This IS a private issue. And people like Kornheiser who say he needs to publicly apologize need to explain to me why? Why does he need to publicly apologize? He didn't do anything wrong to the public. I am not emotionally damaged due to Tiger laying pipe all across the country, allegedly. He doesn't owe me anything. I will try not to jump on my soapbox when talking about public apologies, but it's a simple case of Tiger not actually being sorry, but being sorry he got caught. A public apology means nothing.

I'm seriously tempted to start my own public relations company, specializing in situations like this. It will be the easiest job ever, because managing situations like this consists of one easy step. Get out ahead of the issue by telling the truth (or at least a version of it) and ride out the storm. All these fucking dipshits who advise these celebrities like A-Rod are comple idiots. Andy Pettite is the perfect example. Any public official or celebrity should follow his lead. Admitting your mistake takes the wind out of the sails of entities such as TMZ. Because when you're evasive they will come with their claws out and they'll end up finding much more dirt than they would otherwise. Tiger should simply have made a very vague reference to the whole incident with his wife and blamed it on his misgivings. Very simple. But when an apology goes something like this "I'm very sorry for what I've done but........" then that person is not actually sorry. Tiger has been the king of the world for a long time. He feels he doesn't need to be sorry.

Daily sports bet - 2 team parlay - Celtics+1.5 at San Antonio and Nuggets -9 at home vs Miami - $5 to win $13.