Who's Next? And Other Stuff

At long last, the long national nightmare that was Jeff Suppan being part of the Brewer's roster is over.

I haven't been this excited about a roster move since we were cured of our Yost Infection a few years back. This was long, long overdue, and the delay seems to be more of a product of Soup being a nice guy than a person who throws baseballs. As my high school football coach once said, "You might be a helluva guy, but you're not much of a football player." Whatever, he will take home more than ten million more dollars, partially due to the inconceivable club option AFTER the four years are up, where the Crew has to pay $2 million MORE next year to buy him out. I just got a nice spot on the sidelines and bruises from holding tackling dummies.

The important thing to take away from this is. Who's Next? Who shall take the mantle from Jeff Suppan as my least favorite Brewer? Who shall I bitch about incessantly until he is gone? This is sort of tough. Most of the guys left are sort of likable, and even if they suck (Hoffman) it is hard to hate on them. I guess I will lean towards Macha because he makes some mind bending decisions at times (see letting Parra pitch 2 innings the day before he was supposed to start a few weeks back at Minnesota, and then having to call up your third choice from AAA due to travel issues; also see randomly bringing in Dave Bush to throw to one batter last night, and then pulling him after striking the guy out, which I should add worked, but was really dumb), and isn't all that likable. Even when he says "poppycock". To be determined I guess.

OTHER STUFF

-I thoroughly enjoyed the NBA Finals/Stanley Cup Finals/Brewer game going three way head to head last night. The Stanley Cup was the only game not that close. The NBA series has been almost wildly entertaining.

-The plot thickens on Brandon Underwood's case. Crusin' Chubby's fine name is now linked. I'm sure that two thirty something females met at a strip club from Milwaukee at some time between 2 and 4 am were just innocent, sober patrons. Vegas has just put 1 to 4 odds on these females being "entertainers". As an aside, this doesn't mean there wasn't a sexual assault. Perhaps something illegal did happen. And if it did, then Underwood is a piece of shit. I just tend to side with the NFL player in these cases because I cannot recall a famous athlete ever being convicted of sexual assault, even though many have been accused. Finally, let me point out that I am SHOCKED that at least 7 NFL players in their 20's were in Wisconsin Dells and went to Crusin' Chubby's. Who does that?

-I'm probably going to watch U.S.-England on Saturday from start to finish, and I may even blog about it. I think I would put the total number of soccer games I have watched from start to finish in my lifetime at ZERO. ESPN has finally brainwashed me.

-Finally, this article is a must read. And I'm totally going to order that book when it comes out. As far as you know, I didn't ghostwrite the entire article. As far as you know. For some reason I look forward to four 16 team conferences. Although that just means less automatic bids to the Get Together.

Target Field Recap

Let me go ahead and get the game/Brewer/Target Field experience out of the way before I get to the stuff everyone really probably wants to read. The seats we had were insane. I've never had seats that good to a baseball game before, and probably never will again. It really does make a difference where you are when you watch the game. When you can see facial expressions and the movement of pitches it makes a huge difference. I felt like I was at a Wisconsin Timber Rattlers game. Our seats were slightly to the left of home plate, about 15 rows up. So close that we routinely ducked when a pitch would get fouled back. It was amazing.

Target Field itself is very nice once you are in your seat. The concourses were extremely narrow, which doesn't make much sense for a brand new stadium. It didn't help that it was about 1000 degrees and I was so hung over I wanted to die, but they were really crowded. The food options were probably a little better than Miller Park, and I wasn't at all interested in beer so I can't give you much there. The area surrounding the stadium was the nicest I've seen by far. Overall, not as fancy as Yankee Stadium, but more functional, and not as large. And the concourses are way too tight. I still prefer the Miller Park experience, especially when you consider that there is no place to tailgate. It was surprisingly easy to park, and though traffic always seems to be mildly horrendous in the Twin Cities, getting out wasn't that bad. I would go back, if only to find that prick that told me to "Get the fuck out of my way!" because I was "going the wrong way down the steps". I was personally unaware there were designated lanes. But it is a new stadium so I could've missed the sign.

During the game, I pitched an inning and 2/3 because Macha felt the need to use every pitcher on his roster the night before to attempt to save his job. John Axford's mustache got the save, and he is now my favorite pitcher. Finally, because we were in good ass seats, we were about ten feet from Zach Braddock's mother and sister as they screamed during his major league debut and illegally recorded it on a camcorder like it was a little league game.

Oh, and Corey Hart hit the first homer into the third deck which had to have been about 475ft, but because it was a visiting player that hit it, the Twins estimated at 440 ft. PPS. I heard Fielder's fat when he got hit by that pitch in his first at bat.

OTHER THINGS

We got DRUNK. Like, my wife and I were both blacked out, stumbled around downtown Minneapolis somehow avoiding being shot, my wife broke her shoe and was walking around barefoot, we finally hailed a cab to get directions to the hotel, but my wife jumped in the backseat and refused to get out, so the cabdriver drove us a block and a half to the hotel, where we had no cash and my wife refused to get out of the cab, but the cab driver didn't want money but I felt the need to go to the ATM to give him $20 anyway, then we both puked and my wife woke up with Ricky's Brewer jersey (that he'd worn that night) and shorts on even though they were way too small on her, so she's totally going to be giving birth to his child in 9 months, and then she proceeded to vomit until about the 5th inning of the game, drunk. So we had some fun. I accidentally drank a "Premium" Grain Belt because a waitress fucked up my order, and the thought of it makes me want to puke again today. The game would've been alot more fun if it wasn't 1000 degrees and I wasn't hung over. Overall, I'm pretty sure downtown Minneapolis was awesome and we both cheated death again. Same time next year????

Now if you will excuse me, I have to spend day one of my vacation doing manual labor in 1000 degree temps.

Oh Come On!

Here are what I feel are the relevant stats for Trevor Hoffman. Last season, he pitched 54 innings, and gave up 11 earned runs. This season, he has pitched 13 innings, and has given up 19 earned runs. He has not given up more than 19 ER in a season since 2001. He was 34 years old then. He is 43 now. So let's not bother arguing about whether he is done. Because he is D-U-N.

What I think is important to note is the club's reaction to what has happened. Which has been nothing. And THAT is why Kenny Macha needs to go. Because someone needs to step in and say "Hey, Trev, you've been great. But your ERA is over 13 and you can't get Betty White out. So do us a favor and either retire or take a Suppatical (fake trip to DL)." And Kenny isn't willing to do it. Macha needs to go not because his personality sucks. Or because a manager is somehow supposed to convince Major League players to not suck. He needs to go because a manager's job is to put the team in the best position to win. And he is unwilling to do it I guess. Is this a reaction to an 8 game losing streak? Probably. But that is MY job as a fan.

I look forward to Willie Randolph's first game as manager on Friday night.

Can't You Smell That Smell?

Oooohh that smell...Can't you smell that smell? Ooooh that smell. The smell of death surrounds yooooou!-- Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Actually, that smell is burning human flesh. Because Trevor Hoffman exited the bullpen on consecutive days and did his best gas can routine. And burned down Miller Park twice. Either that or it is Hoffman's rotting carcass. Either way.

I'm in full on panic mode. Am I overreacting? I dunno. Did I overreact to Gagne a few years back? How about Turnbow? I have a sneaking suspicion he is done.

Could he turn it around? Sure. I would be willing to bet he has gone through stretches like this before, in his 73 year career. But he wasn't 163 years old when he went through them. Sometimes, you just can't do it anymore.

The solution? I think we start with giving him "some time off" away from the closer role, to see if he can get anyone out in the 6th or 7th. If he can, then I have no problem putting him back in the 9th. But at this point, he may have already cost us a playoff spot (assuming we periodically don't just forget to hit, and assuming Soup doesn't magically "earn" his spot back). Give someone else a shot.

The reality? Macha will not let anyone else close unless Melvin puts Hoffman on the DL with some type of mysterious ailment. Macha is extremely old school, and treats veterans with WAY too much respect at times. I just can't fathom how much worse it can get. I mean, say what you want about Turnbow, at least he had a high 90s fastball (although he rarely got it over the plate). Hoffman hardly even throws his change, and when he does it is not a strike. Then he grooves a 82 mph fastball over the middle of the plate, and it lands 450 feet away.

Just not happy at all.

More Villa

From Brew Crew Ball. This is EXACTLY what happened.

Parra Es Muy Sucky

The one thing about a 10-1 beating is that it gives me something to write about. It is alot harder to think of something to write when the team is winning. Because you can only say "They are awesome" in so many ways. Alot of funny-ish things happened last night, and this is all in the two innings I actually watched.

- If the Brewers get crushed 10-1, but nobody is there to see it, did it really happen. There were literally less than 1,000 people at that game last night in Florida. Fucking embarrassing for them. It has got to be awkward for the Brewers to go from three straight 40,000 plus, drunken, raucous sell outs, to playing a game in front of groupies and player's parents.

-Did Jorge Julio kidnap Manny Parra, put on his jersey, and start last night? Holy shit was he bad. When he wasn't bouncing pitches ten feet in front of the plate, he was grooving fastballs right down the middle. My favorite part about last night's game was Macha storming out to the mound (and I use that term loosely because he is always fairly relaxed), and waiving off Kendall so he could bitch at Parra for sucking. I don't think I'd ever seen that before. My theory is that he was going to use racial slurs, or threaten his family and didn't want anyone to hear. Bill Schroeder said, "I don't think he wants any witnesses."

-But why did the Brewers just basically give up in the 3rd inning? By the time it got to 4-1, it was clear that Parra didn't have anything. It is interesting though, and probably the hardest part of being a manager. The bullpen was sort of toast, so you either overwork them some more, try to keep it close, and hope to come back. Or you leave your starter out there to be demoralized and mail in the next six innings. Which is what Macha chose. Ultimately, it might have been the proper move, but giving up 10 runs in 4 innings isn't going to help Parra's confidence. By the 4th, Schroeder and Anderson were openly talking about either getting drunk or banging chicks on South Beach. It was all in code, unlike Ueck who would've just said it.

- How much longer before Parra comes down with a mystery injury? Is skipped in the rotation? Is sent down? Problem is the lack of other options. DiFelice could start, but his elbow is not doing so hot. I guess Dillard is tearing up AAA. We probably need a lefty in the rotation, but the only one I can think of is GASP Cappy, but I don't think he's throwing in real games yet. Conundrum.

Miami Is Burning!!!

Where to start on last night's game. Well, I think I've found my new least favorite Brewer, and another rekindled my hatred. Both gave me something to bitch about today. Public Enemy number one is Jorge Julio. Wanted for one count of arson for single handedly starting the fire that burned down Joe Robbie Stadium (Landshark is not good), and then making matters worse by dousing his own fire with the gas can he has been carrying around all season. See, I hadn't been able to fully appreciate how much he sucks because he is so bad that he only pitches like once every two weeks. Like one of my bosses said to me today, "Who is that pitcher the Brewers threw out there last night?" And Julio has been on the team all season, which just goes to show how much he sucks. Here was his line last night: 0 IP, 2H, 4 ER, 5 R, 0K, 2 BB, 2HBP. Now THAT is major league quality. We really don't have anyone else in the minors that can do better? I realize he's got a high 90's fastball, but if he can't get anyone out with it, who cares? SportsBottle said he is Derrick Turnbow, which is a pretty apt comparison. Give me anyone that can throw a strike at 90 mph, even if the guy has no future with the organization, that can give me an inning or two of mop up every few weeks. Which is all Julio was ever fit to do. What the fuck was he doing pitching in a 2 run game?? At least Yost isn't still the manager, or you would be guaranteed to see Julio again tonight. Bad decision by Macha, worse pitching by Julio.

Public Enemy number two is Billy Hall, wanted for attempting to fan Julio's flames with the wind from he bat as he managed to swing through ball four, three times in an at bat with nobody out and the bases loaded, even though Miller had just walked two straight on 9 pitches, and then fell behind 3-1. Oh, and Miller is a lefty whom Hall is supposed to murder. I realize Hall has to play on occasion, but fuck. Give me SOMETHING. And by something I don't mean killing an early inning rally by swinging at pitches at your eyes.

"THE HANGOVER"

The first few times I saw the preview for this movie, I thought it looked fucking terrible and stupid. However, I just saw an extended trailer last night, and now that I understand the premise/plot a little better, it looks like it could be spectacular. I thought it was just going to be a goofy getting drunk and doing stupid things movie, which usually doesn't work. But actually, it is the guys waking up hungover and trying to piece together what happened, which we've all done, and could be fucking hilarious. The fat dude carrying around the random baby is great.

NYC TRIP

The wife and I are going to NYC in a few weeks. One of the few relevant things to discuss right now is the fact that I made a deal with Satan and bought New York Yankee tickets last night. I'm surly going to burn in hell for giving Stienbrenner any of my money. At least it was on the secondary market, so the Yankees already have their money. We are going to the June 18th Thursday afternoon game against the Nats. It will in all likely hood be a terrible game, but tickets were only $15 (ask my brother how good the seats are since I bought them), but the main thing is going there I guess. A tour was $20 each, so we might as well save $5 and get murdered rooting against the Yanks. Does anyone have a Nats hat I can borrow? We discussed going to a Mets/Rays game at Citi Field, but a) the tickets were a little more, b) seeing a good game between two teams I don't care about isn't that important and c) for some reason going to a game at Yankee Stadium seems cooler. So it should be pretty fun to get blackout drunk at a new stadium (note: probably won't actually get blackout drunk). This furthers my eventual goal in life to see a game at every MLB and NFL stadium before I die. The count will be 3 MLB (Milwaukee, KC, NYY) and 2 NFL (GB, MIN). So I've got a ways to go. (note: will probably never fucking happen).

Semi-Daily Brew Crew Hangover #11

THAT was cool as shit. I never expected to get goose bumps from a relief pitcher coming in during a 10-5 game, but that is some bad ass shit to come out to a song as cool as Hells Bells. What is odd about it is that you would expect him to come out firing 98 mph fastballs instead of 78 mph changeups. That is about all I got, except that Yost would've made Looper throw one at LaRoche's head immediately following Braun getting beaned, and we would've lost that game because McClung and Villanueva are unreliable at best. So chalk up a +1 to Macha for keeping his cool. And Pirates better watch their fucking backs today, because I have a feeling one might "accidentally" get away from Bush in the first inning.

Semi-Daily Brew Crew Hangover #1

Well, here we are again. An opportunity to bitch and overreact about every loss in a 162 game season, and overreact and heap praise (and probably bitch) about every win. Clearly I have an inherent bias against Rickie Weeks (because he sucks) and Jeff Suppan (because he sucks). So know that going in. I'm not going to have much good to say about them. Weeks would have to win MVP and Suppan the Cy Young before they get any credit. Gone are arch nemises of the past: Geoff Jenkins, Matty Wise, Eric Gagne and Ben "Glass Joe" Sheets. And we can't forget Neddy Yost. So much my material is gone, although some of those on the list have been gone for more than a year, I still have occaisonal nightmares about Jenkins trying to hit a lefty, or Ned trying to execute a double switch.

So yesterday, I, like many others, was at "work" while Jeff Suppan was proving he was worth an opening day start. I assume Soup came out like gangbusters, buckling knees with his 82 mph fastball, and 81 mph change up, lets just check the box sc....What the fuck? 4 IP, 6 fucking ER? Jesus fucking Christ. And this comes against potentially one of the worst offenses in the league in one of baseball's least friendly hitting parks. It was 3 to fucking nothing before I even got a chance to put on gamecast yesterday. Unreal. And it wasn't like our other "options" proved to be any better. McClung walked 4 in an inning. Bush gave up a 2 run dong. Jorge gave up a blast on his first pitch. The hitting seemed to be fine, and we even chased Lincecum after THREE. (I'm pretending I didn't see Billy Hall hit into a double play with a guy on third and one out. Even though I mentally said it would happen because he hits in to a DP in that situation 94% of the time. Someone needs to do some research on that. Bear? You seem plenty motivated.)

I think I'm already starting to dislike Ken Macha. That decision to start Soup yesterday was not popular with anyone who knows anything about baseball. The theory to not start your best pitcher against the other team's best is retarded. In baseball, I think it is pretty fair to say that if the pitching matchup is close to equal, there is about a 50/50 chance to win every game. When one team puts their ace out there, their chances of winning generally go up, especially if they are facing a dogshit opposing pitcher. So yesterday instead of giving ourselves an almost even money chance to beat Lincecum by pitching Yo, we basically said, fuck it, we'll take our 25% chance with Soup, and hope to beat the other team's guy tomorrow with our best. We win that game yesterday with Yo, Parra or Looper. We put up six runs, and should win nearly every game with that output. Soup puts us at a disadvantage, and there is no way he is one of the best 25 players we have. How long of a leash do you think Macha gives him? If he does this for two more starts in a row, does he go to the pen? It's not like McClung showed anything today either, but he gives me a LITTLE confidence.

9:15 p.m. start tonight. I'll get home from work for the first pitch, and be out by the 3rd inning.

RANDOM VIDEO GAME STORY:

Game 1 of NLCS, Brewers at Cubs. Brewers take a 8-1 lead into the bottom of the 8th. Parra comes out of the bullpen (5th starter) and gets lit up for 4 in the 8th. Hoffman comes in and give up a pair of 2 run bombs to Aramis and Soto (walk off) and Brewers lose 9-8. I couldn't sleep that night.