Look. I don't know where anyone got the idea that I hate cancer kids. Because I don't. Their lives are horrible, and nobody should have to go through what they go through, especially at that age. (If you smoke a pack a day despite overwhelming evidence that it is horrible for you and you are probably going to get cancer, then I feel a little less bad for you). I think the fact that ESPN and the Make-a-Wish Foundation and the athletes that volunteer to make wishes come true for cancer kids are great.
But please. Don't put that shit on my fucking T.V. I typically watch parts of three SportsCenters a day. Usually about 15 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, and maybe 15 to 30 minutes at 5. And this entire week, I've managed to turn it on right as some cancer kid is playing outside linebacker for the Raiders, or doing wheelies on 4 wheelers. Regardless of whether that kid could start for the Raiders (he could). I really don't need to see this shit on my T.V. It is completely and totally self-indulgent for ESPN to put this on SportsCenter every day. There is no reason for it. This isn't that different than LeBron dragging the Boys and Girls Club kids into "The Decision". If you want to put it on your station, fine. Have a three hour special, advertise the shit out of it, turn it into some kind of telethon to raise money. But don't waste 75% of my highlight watching time for a week every summer. It just makes me angry. And I hate "THIS ISSSSSS MYYYYYYY WIIIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHH!" The song makes me want to murder someone. It has clearly replaced "This Is Our Country" as the least favorite theme song ever.
You make me watch enough pointless shit already ESPN. This is due to the fact that you are mostly good at what you do. Or you at least have the money to control all sports media. But I would rather watch 20 minutes of rumors about He Who Shall Not Be Named and his fake thinking about his fake injury every day than watch cancer kids suffer. Stop.
Showing posts with label ESPN sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESPN sucks. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The Bears Still Suck
I came to a pair of realizations last night while half watching/half being forced to watch Viqueens v. Bears last night. First, ESPN (most specifically Jon Gruden) has turned me off to watching televised football. They have finally done it after 16 weeks of trying SO hard to make me not want to watch Monday night football. Actually, I'm going to backtrack a bit and say that they made me want to stop listening to somebody describe what I'm watching. See, as it turns out, watching approximately 100 football games a year for the last 25 years or so has made me not a fucking idiot, and I generally don't need someone describing the pictures I am seeing (apologies to blind people). With about 10 minutes left in regulation, I told my wife (who for some reason was actively forcing me to watch the Viqueens (more in a minute)) that if she didn't turn the television on mute I was either going to smash the TV, or divorce her. Even though the second option was clearly a way out of a giant mistake, she chose to mute the television, allowing me to watch the remainder of the game, and decide for myself what was happening, and guess what they announcers were saying. If you have watched the Queens play at all this year, you can pretty much guess what they were saying, and it was "He Who Shall Not Be Named (insert ridiculous superlative)." The straws that broke the camel's back occurred during the Queens "miraculous comeback", which by the way, was against a terrible team that had clearly quit weeks ago, and I'm not actually sure it counts as a comeback since THEY FUCKING LOST, but I digress. During said failed comeback, He Who Shall Not Be Named threw a fairly routine crossing route to a wide open receiver that gained the Queens like 20 yards, and Gruden acted like He threw the pass left handed between his legs, and the pass literally went through a Bears defender forcing Greg Lewis to catch the ball covered in shards of bone and tissue. Later, on a third and long, the Bears dropped everyone 48 yards off the line of scrimmage, and He hit a wide open Chester Taylor who ran 20 yards untouched. On this pass, He actually died, and rose to right hand of (Sports Bottle's) god, was dead and buried for 7 days, arose, and completed that pass, because clearly, no other quarterback would ever think to throw to a wide open receiver that had nobody within 14 yards of him. On the drive where the Queens tied it, Gruden said the following things: (I'm not making (most of) these up). "Awesome." "I'm getting goosebumps." "I just climaxed" "Wow." "Jaws, pass me a Kleenex." Putting the game on mute lowered my blood pressure to a healthy level, and I was able to watch an American football game reach an exciting conclusion.
The second thing I realized last night is how much I hate He Who Shall Not Be Named as a human being and the Minnesota Vikings as an organization. I don't like rooting for the Bears under any circumstances. Last night however, I was Jim fucking Belushi. I felt like I was watching the Packers play the Queens. The circumstances have pushed the Queens so far above the Bears on the hatred level that I actually have a hard time watching any Viqueen game because I get so angry that He exists. And its not jealousy, or even being angry that he plays for the Queens anymore, because He's been dead to me since October. Its the CONSTANT fellatio, and his full name being mentioned every three seconds, and the camera that follows him around as he ignores his head coach the entire game. Watching the Queens have any success whatsoever just aggravates me so much. Watching His fucking shithead antics, and the fact that the games are forced down my throat every week, has made me actively avoid watching Viqueen games, even if it means not watching football at all. That is how bad it has gotten. My wife generally feels the same way, although she is transfixed on hoping something shitty happens and actively rooting for the opponent, therefore forcing me to watch against my will.
Now that I've found the mute button, perhaps my life has changed for the better, and I will not die of a heart attack.
The second thing I realized last night is how much I hate He Who Shall Not Be Named as a human being and the Minnesota Vikings as an organization. I don't like rooting for the Bears under any circumstances. Last night however, I was Jim fucking Belushi. I felt like I was watching the Packers play the Queens. The circumstances have pushed the Queens so far above the Bears on the hatred level that I actually have a hard time watching any Viqueen game because I get so angry that He exists. And its not jealousy, or even being angry that he plays for the Queens anymore, because He's been dead to me since October. Its the CONSTANT fellatio, and his full name being mentioned every three seconds, and the camera that follows him around as he ignores his head coach the entire game. Watching the Queens have any success whatsoever just aggravates me so much. Watching His fucking shithead antics, and the fact that the games are forced down my throat every week, has made me actively avoid watching Viqueen games, even if it means not watching football at all. That is how bad it has gotten. My wife generally feels the same way, although she is transfixed on hoping something shitty happens and actively rooting for the opponent, therefore forcing me to watch against my will.
Now that I've found the mute button, perhaps my life has changed for the better, and I will not die of a heart attack.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Duck Fook
Did I mention I hate Duke? Like alot? Like possibly more than any other sports team, professional or college? It is not a hatred based on a rivalry though. It is a hatred due to class. And a hatred generally based on jealousy. A hate because Duke has had everything that Wisconsin has never had. Duke has a pick of nearly any player they want in the country, every year. Sure, they have to battle North Carolina, Kentucky, Kansas, etc. for those players, but there are plenty to go around. Wisconsin has to do just about everything right, and have just about everything to go their way in order to be a Top 10 team. At one point, it didn't even seem possible that they could ever do it. But, it was shown in a March run in 2000 and in a number one ranking a few years back that it could be done. But if it happens once every 10 years, we are extremely fortunate. Duke is in the position to do it every, single, year. And if it doesn't happen, they are disappointed. The only other team I can compare them to is the Yankees. Unlimited funds to do with however you please, an expectation of championships, crazy room for error. And if it doesn't work, you can just throw more money at the problem. It is something that Wisconsin will probably never have the luxury of. Not that Wisconsin doesn't have lots at its disposal, it is one of the largest collegiate sports programs in the country, and has a great arena and fan base. But it is not a historic power. It will never be Duke. So fuck Duke.
The other problem with Duke is that they are dicks about it. Their players are annoying. Coach K puts on this facade that he is a great human (and he probably mostly is) but then he is on the sidelines reportedly using the worst language anyone has ever heard (which, I fully support, but don't be fake about it). Their fans are annoying rich kids. They are basically everything Wisconsin isn't. So fuck Duke.
This is a matchup that Wisconsin fans have been wishing for for a long time. A chance to get the mighty Blue Devils at the Kohl Center. The problem is, this game is happening at a terrible time for Wisconsin. Bucky does not have the athletes to keep up with Duke. Duke probably has 12 guys that would start for just about any Big Ten team. Wisconsin probably has 4 guys that could play for Duke. The Kam Taylor, Alando Tucker Badgers would have had a good chance at beating Duke. But short of a perfect game, I don't see UW pulling this one out. The Grateful Red will keep this one close. The Badgers have to play their game, which is to slow it down, and get back in transition. If Bucky can make their shots (not an easy task) and keep Duke out of transition (historically impossible), they have a chance. But I think Duke wins by about 15. So fuck Duke.
OTHER STUFF
-Anyone hear the Tiger voicemail? Pretty good stuff. If I wasn't so lazy, I would find audio and link to it.
-Does ESPN have a contract where they are required to show kids dying of cancer every other month. There is nothing I would rather watch less. At least they give sufficient warning, but sometimes I'm in my morning fog and its ten minutes in and they are talking about some kid having his fucking eye amputated before I realize what is happening.
The other problem with Duke is that they are dicks about it. Their players are annoying. Coach K puts on this facade that he is a great human (and he probably mostly is) but then he is on the sidelines reportedly using the worst language anyone has ever heard (which, I fully support, but don't be fake about it). Their fans are annoying rich kids. They are basically everything Wisconsin isn't. So fuck Duke.
This is a matchup that Wisconsin fans have been wishing for for a long time. A chance to get the mighty Blue Devils at the Kohl Center. The problem is, this game is happening at a terrible time for Wisconsin. Bucky does not have the athletes to keep up with Duke. Duke probably has 12 guys that would start for just about any Big Ten team. Wisconsin probably has 4 guys that could play for Duke. The Kam Taylor, Alando Tucker Badgers would have had a good chance at beating Duke. But short of a perfect game, I don't see UW pulling this one out. The Grateful Red will keep this one close. The Badgers have to play their game, which is to slow it down, and get back in transition. If Bucky can make their shots (not an easy task) and keep Duke out of transition (historically impossible), they have a chance. But I think Duke wins by about 15. So fuck Duke.
OTHER STUFF
-Anyone hear the Tiger voicemail? Pretty good stuff. If I wasn't so lazy, I would find audio and link to it.
-Does ESPN have a contract where they are required to show kids dying of cancer every other month. There is nothing I would rather watch less. At least they give sufficient warning, but sometimes I'm in my morning fog and its ten minutes in and they are talking about some kid having his fucking eye amputated before I realize what is happening.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
In The Air Tonight (Monday)
A series of dashes, followed by words:
-There are certain things that I had assumed were common knowledge. Certain things that were meant to signify things that I had assumed were universal. One of these things is the "tipping up of chairs" to reserve seating at a wedding or seminar or something. Yesterday I had a seminar for work, and I had attempted to save seats for some co-workers by doing this. Within 5 minutes, THREE different people ignored other open, non-tipped chairs, to untip these chairs and sat in them. I was incredulous. I wanted to make a scene, but I didn't really like said co-workers that much anyway, so I didn't say anything.
-Sports Bottle, me and a bunch of random dudes are 21 days almost to the minute from landing in Vegas. Also, Richard and Twinkie may come, although Twinkie continues to come up with bullshit excuses.
-I just realized yesterday that Wisconsin and Minnesota are playing for the Ax on Saturday. Long one of my favorite games to watch and torment Minnesota fans over. Unfortunately, I have a golf outing Saturday morning, and I assume the game will get ruined for me by one of my jackass neighbors so I likely won't watch any of it. I will have it set for DVR though. I think Bucky pulls out a one point game and chops down the entire new stadium with the ax. Fuck Minnesota.
-Free NFL REDZONE on Sunday on DishNetwork! Pretty pumped about that, especially since I can fully utilize it because the Packers don't play until Monday night.
-I greatly dislike it when the Pack plays Monday night. It just gives me one more day to stress the fuck out....
-Especially when they are playing the Viqueens, and especially when said Viqueens resurrected some dude from the dead to play QB. And especially when said dude is a cocksucker. And especially since I've been subjected to non-stop fellatio of said dude by ESPN because (SHOCK) the game is on ESPN and they might want to promote the fact that said dude used to play for the Packers. The Greg Lewis catch of the randomly thrown ball by He Who Shall Not Be Named won "Greatest of the Month" presented by DirecTV and Cockring Wearhouse (did we mention the game is on ESPN Monday Night Football?). Somehow this catch is almost never mentioned, and the His name is always mentioned as it being some kind of miraculous throw. The entire play is made at least once a year, every single year. It was a nice play. But it was nowhere near as miraculous as Brandon Stokely's catch of the bomb to win a game in Week 1, yet somehow the Greg Lewis catch won "Greatest of the Month" overwhelmingly. I just find it ironic that the game against the Packers is being broadcast on ESPN. AND it was the Bud Light Freeze Frame picture of the week. Oh, did I mention that the game will be on ESPN?
- It is entirely possible the the game will be one of the highest rated games ever. And the fact that the Packers are involved will be mentioned not at all.
-I'm not sure what to think about the game itself. Minnesota hasn't looked all that good against two terrible teams and one potentially not that good team. Green Bay hasn't been real impressive either. Nobody is surprised that Minnesota is 3-0 at this point. He has made one good play the entire season. And I'm still not convinced Traveaeiuouuus couldn't have thrown that pass. If we can slow down A-Peter, and put a little pressure on He (not that hard), then I think we will be in the game. We have to keep A-Rodg off of his back. I think the Queens probably win a close game, but it wouldn't shock me to see the Pack win either. It will be pretty evenly matched, and that shitdome will be loud as shit I'm sure.
-All I know for sure is that I will be blacked out with anxiety by kickoff. This game really is the perfect storm of stress. It is a divisional game, it is against the Viqueens which is always stressful and close, it is on Monday night, Oh, and the possibly the most beloved Packer player of my generation is playing quarterback for the other team. I have to come to grips with this reality, but this game, and these circumstances, are unlikely as shit. Three years ago, I would have bet a million dollars that this would never happen. But it has. And what is frustrating is that the media (mostly ESPN) has clearly picked sides, and I have to listen to how great it is that He did this to Green Bay. I sincerely hope that his spine is ripped out of his body and that B.J. Raji eats it. If we lose, I may not be able to function. Current Anxiety level: 7. I can't talk about this any more. (Ed. Note: I'll probably talk about this some more).
-There are certain things that I had assumed were common knowledge. Certain things that were meant to signify things that I had assumed were universal. One of these things is the "tipping up of chairs" to reserve seating at a wedding or seminar or something. Yesterday I had a seminar for work, and I had attempted to save seats for some co-workers by doing this. Within 5 minutes, THREE different people ignored other open, non-tipped chairs, to untip these chairs and sat in them. I was incredulous. I wanted to make a scene, but I didn't really like said co-workers that much anyway, so I didn't say anything.
-Sports Bottle, me and a bunch of random dudes are 21 days almost to the minute from landing in Vegas. Also, Richard and Twinkie may come, although Twinkie continues to come up with bullshit excuses.
-I just realized yesterday that Wisconsin and Minnesota are playing for the Ax on Saturday. Long one of my favorite games to watch and torment Minnesota fans over. Unfortunately, I have a golf outing Saturday morning, and I assume the game will get ruined for me by one of my jackass neighbors so I likely won't watch any of it. I will have it set for DVR though. I think Bucky pulls out a one point game and chops down the entire new stadium with the ax. Fuck Minnesota.
-Free NFL REDZONE on Sunday on DishNetwork! Pretty pumped about that, especially since I can fully utilize it because the Packers don't play until Monday night.
-I greatly dislike it when the Pack plays Monday night. It just gives me one more day to stress the fuck out....
-Especially when they are playing the Viqueens, and especially when said Viqueens resurrected some dude from the dead to play QB. And especially when said dude is a cocksucker. And especially since I've been subjected to non-stop fellatio of said dude by ESPN because (SHOCK) the game is on ESPN and they might want to promote the fact that said dude used to play for the Packers. The Greg Lewis catch of the randomly thrown ball by He Who Shall Not Be Named won "Greatest of the Month" presented by DirecTV and Cockring Wearhouse (did we mention the game is on ESPN Monday Night Football?). Somehow this catch is almost never mentioned, and the His name is always mentioned as it being some kind of miraculous throw. The entire play is made at least once a year, every single year. It was a nice play. But it was nowhere near as miraculous as Brandon Stokely's catch of the bomb to win a game in Week 1, yet somehow the Greg Lewis catch won "Greatest of the Month" overwhelmingly. I just find it ironic that the game against the Packers is being broadcast on ESPN. AND it was the Bud Light Freeze Frame picture of the week. Oh, did I mention that the game will be on ESPN?
- It is entirely possible the the game will be one of the highest rated games ever. And the fact that the Packers are involved will be mentioned not at all.
-I'm not sure what to think about the game itself. Minnesota hasn't looked all that good against two terrible teams and one potentially not that good team. Green Bay hasn't been real impressive either. Nobody is surprised that Minnesota is 3-0 at this point. He has made one good play the entire season. And I'm still not convinced Traveaeiuouuus couldn't have thrown that pass. If we can slow down A-Peter, and put a little pressure on He (not that hard), then I think we will be in the game. We have to keep A-Rodg off of his back. I think the Queens probably win a close game, but it wouldn't shock me to see the Pack win either. It will be pretty evenly matched, and that shitdome will be loud as shit I'm sure.
-All I know for sure is that I will be blacked out with anxiety by kickoff. This game really is the perfect storm of stress. It is a divisional game, it is against the Viqueens which is always stressful and close, it is on Monday night, Oh, and the possibly the most beloved Packer player of my generation is playing quarterback for the other team. I have to come to grips with this reality, but this game, and these circumstances, are unlikely as shit. Three years ago, I would have bet a million dollars that this would never happen. But it has. And what is frustrating is that the media (mostly ESPN) has clearly picked sides, and I have to listen to how great it is that He did this to Green Bay. I sincerely hope that his spine is ripped out of his body and that B.J. Raji eats it. If we lose, I may not be able to function. Current Anxiety level: 7. I can't talk about this any more. (Ed. Note: I'll probably talk about this some more).
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Gregg Easterbrook is a Moron
Actual passage from his Tuesday Morning QB article on ESPN.com (where else?):
" Seven of their last 12 first-round choices were invested in linebackers and defensive linemen. That means other positions on the team are starved for talent -- and it's not even
clear the front seven will be particularly good."
Really? I guess having Aaron Rodgers at QB means you are starved for talent. I guess having Jennings and Driver (both Pro Bowlers) means you are starved for talent at WR. I guess Woodson and Harris (both Pro Bowlers) means we have no talent at corner. I guess Nick Collins (Pro Bowler) isn't very talented either. And that isn't even mentioning Finley, Lee, Grant, Nelson, Jones, etc. all who have Pro Bowl potential at least some day. And as far as the front 7 goes, I bet Kampman (Pro Bowler) might have beef with that assessment. As would Raji, Jenkins, Pickett, Barnett and Hawk (all solid). Obviously, Ted Thompson is an idiot and we are going 1-15 this year.
Seriously. If you don't know anything about a team. And haven't ever seen them play. I don't want your opinion. Nor does the rest of Packer Nation.
" Seven of their last 12 first-round choices were invested in linebackers and defensive linemen. That means other positions on the team are starved for talent -- and it's not even
clear the front seven will be particularly good."
Really? I guess having Aaron Rodgers at QB means you are starved for talent. I guess having Jennings and Driver (both Pro Bowlers) means you are starved for talent at WR. I guess Woodson and Harris (both Pro Bowlers) means we have no talent at corner. I guess Nick Collins (Pro Bowler) isn't very talented either. And that isn't even mentioning Finley, Lee, Grant, Nelson, Jones, etc. all who have Pro Bowl potential at least some day. And as far as the front 7 goes, I bet Kampman (Pro Bowler) might have beef with that assessment. As would Raji, Jenkins, Pickett, Barnett and Hawk (all solid). Obviously, Ted Thompson is an idiot and we are going 1-15 this year.
Seriously. If you don't know anything about a team. And haven't ever seen them play. I don't want your opinion. Nor does the rest of Packer Nation.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
My Sincerest Apologies
I know I've said at least five other times that I wasn't going to discuss this anymore, but why fight it? It is something that I have an opinion about that I feel is an insightful one in that I probably spend somewhere between 25 and 98% of every single day thinking about the Green Bay Packers. This issue affects the Green Bay Packers. Also, I feel that the tide of opinion has sufficiently been turned within the two people in this blog audience that this won't turn into a he said he said bitch fest. I truly believe that what may be about to happen would leave any Packer fan to have only one thought. And although I sort of thought that last year too, this year is a whole shitload different. So I am treating this more of a get together to get some things off my chest and to allow anyone else that cares to agree with me. Maybe all this shit that is coming out is untrue, and He will either go away, or sign a one-day deal with Green Bay and retire. Alot of this has to play out yet, so this is an obvious overreaction. But if we are being realistic here, I think we all know where this is going. I am trying to separate this in to semi-coherent sections:
1) He doesn't give a fuck about His legacy with the Green Bay Packers and he is a terrible human being.
This is obvious, and cannot be argued. Scott or Bonita or Deanna or Britney Favre or Bus Cook or whoever the fuck is leaking his shit these days has said that the only reason he wants to come back is to "stick it to the Packers." Which means that unequivocally he is a fucking asshole. And if he thinks that ANYONE in Green Bay would cheer for him if he shows up to Lambeau in a Viking uniform, he is a bigger moron that I've been giving him credit for.
An argument could be made that the Packers didn't handle their shit very well last year, and as a result, many fans were pissed. But the Packers had nothing to do with this possible shitstorm. He is intentionally trying to go to an rival.
2) He is not that good any more.
Two years ago, yeah, he was great. Last year? He threw like 20 INTs. He threw like 50% of his TD passes for the season in one game. He led his team to a losing record.
3) He is quite possibly injured.
4) He will be FORTY.
5) This signing would not make the Viqueens a Super Bowl contender.
I guess part of me should be rooting for this to happen, because it would wreck another year of Adrian Peterson's prime. Not that Treoiouarvarious Jackson is not terrible, or Rosemary Sagenfels is not average at best, but how does this make the Viqueens a title contender for the 12th straight year? Is He really a step up from Gus? Did they improve at all on defense? Other than the 5' 2" pothead they drafted from the WR goldmine that is Florida, did they gain any receivers? I've got some news for Viqueen fan. Even with A-Peter, your offense is NOT much better than the Jets was last year. Jones/Washington was a good backfield, Coles/Cotchery/Keller is better than the Viqueens receiving core. The Jets had at least as good of an offensive line. He is no longer capable of putting a team on his back, which is what the Queens would need him to do, because they have no receivers.
Beyond all that, Brad Childress is quite possibly the worst coach in the NFL, and He will be allowed to ignore A-Peter and wing it up 45 times a game.
Is Minnesota a division contender no matter who is at QB? I think so. But adding that prick and a few more picks to the locker room isn't going to make them that much better.
6) When will the media stop sucking his dick?
He is outright lying to everyone. He unequivocally told Trent Dilfer NO when asked if he was thinking of coming back. And like two hours later, Scott or Bonita or Deanna or the ghost of Irv was leaking a story that he was meeting with Childress. Not only is he fucking the fans that worshipped him for 16 years, but he is fucking the media that is partially responsible for all this shit in the first place. Nobody at ESPN is willing to stand up and say, "You know what? This is a total bitch move on His part, and I'm not going to dignify anything he or that fucking snake Bus Cook says until he is wearing a fucking Viking uniform or not. Because he has done nothing but lie to our faces through text messages for the last five years." Instead, you get all these bullshit excuses about what a competitor he is. Fuck that.
I feel a little better now. I predict today he will hold a press conference from his tractor that he is not coming back, and then he will sign with the Vikings five minutes later, and then tell Chris Mortensen that he is not coming back while attending mini-camp for the Vikings.
1) He doesn't give a fuck about His legacy with the Green Bay Packers and he is a terrible human being.
This is obvious, and cannot be argued. Scott or Bonita or Deanna or Britney Favre or Bus Cook or whoever the fuck is leaking his shit these days has said that the only reason he wants to come back is to "stick it to the Packers." Which means that unequivocally he is a fucking asshole. And if he thinks that ANYONE in Green Bay would cheer for him if he shows up to Lambeau in a Viking uniform, he is a bigger moron that I've been giving him credit for.
An argument could be made that the Packers didn't handle their shit very well last year, and as a result, many fans were pissed. But the Packers had nothing to do with this possible shitstorm. He is intentionally trying to go to an rival.
2) He is not that good any more.
Two years ago, yeah, he was great. Last year? He threw like 20 INTs. He threw like 50% of his TD passes for the season in one game. He led his team to a losing record.
3) He is quite possibly injured.
4) He will be FORTY.
5) This signing would not make the Viqueens a Super Bowl contender.
I guess part of me should be rooting for this to happen, because it would wreck another year of Adrian Peterson's prime. Not that Treoiouarvarious Jackson is not terrible, or Rosemary Sagenfels is not average at best, but how does this make the Viqueens a title contender for the 12th straight year? Is He really a step up from Gus? Did they improve at all on defense? Other than the 5' 2" pothead they drafted from the WR goldmine that is Florida, did they gain any receivers? I've got some news for Viqueen fan. Even with A-Peter, your offense is NOT much better than the Jets was last year. Jones/Washington was a good backfield, Coles/Cotchery/Keller is better than the Viqueens receiving core. The Jets had at least as good of an offensive line. He is no longer capable of putting a team on his back, which is what the Queens would need him to do, because they have no receivers.
Beyond all that, Brad Childress is quite possibly the worst coach in the NFL, and He will be allowed to ignore A-Peter and wing it up 45 times a game.
Is Minnesota a division contender no matter who is at QB? I think so. But adding that prick and a few more picks to the locker room isn't going to make them that much better.
6) When will the media stop sucking his dick?
He is outright lying to everyone. He unequivocally told Trent Dilfer NO when asked if he was thinking of coming back. And like two hours later, Scott or Bonita or Deanna or the ghost of Irv was leaking a story that he was meeting with Childress. Not only is he fucking the fans that worshipped him for 16 years, but he is fucking the media that is partially responsible for all this shit in the first place. Nobody at ESPN is willing to stand up and say, "You know what? This is a total bitch move on His part, and I'm not going to dignify anything he or that fucking snake Bus Cook says until he is wearing a fucking Viking uniform or not. Because he has done nothing but lie to our faces through text messages for the last five years." Instead, you get all these bullshit excuses about what a competitor he is. Fuck that.
I feel a little better now. I predict today he will hold a press conference from his tractor that he is not coming back, and then he will sign with the Vikings five minutes later, and then tell Chris Mortensen that he is not coming back while attending mini-camp for the Vikings.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Jagz, Pacman, Nolan and Hells Bells
I would be remiss if I didn't discuss a few ridiculous stories that are peculating today.
1) Jeff Jagodzinski getting shit canned at B.C. I'm going to go ahead and ask why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. A few things are obviously true: 1) Jagz knew that he would be fired if he interviewed with the Jets, 2) He did it anyway, 3) He was fired. Everything else is sort of irrelevant. I have heard that he had a clause in his contract stating this very fact. Whether he did or not, this is how the real world works, even though D-I college athletics is about as far from the real world as there is. If I went to interview for another job and my boss found out, I would expect to be a)fired or b) have my boss make my life so miserable that I would quit. I don't fault Jagz for trying to get a better job. Its America. I'm quite certain about 90% of people with jobs are looking for new ones. But to freak out on the employer for firing them is stupid. Admittedly the situation is not really a normal one with a college coach given the regular turnover, but if BC wanted a coach to stay in it for the long haul, they had every right to let him go.
2) Pacman got cut. Good for the Cowboys. What killed me about the story is that I was watching SportsCenter last night when the story broke, and ESPN essentially took credit for being the straw that broke the camel's back. This "new information" regarding the hit that he allegedly ordered in 2007 that was somehow unknown to anyone previously, was going to be reported by ESPN on "Outside the Lines" on Sunday. According to SportsCenter, Jerry Jones first heard of it when ESPN called to ask for a comment and "coincidentally" they cut Pacman like an hour later. Funny how ESPN is willing to take credit for shit like this, that probably didn't have any effect on Jones's decision (I mean really? One tie to an attempted murder was OK, but TWO? Two is where the Cowboys draw the line.), yet when they totally fuck up they refuse to take any blame (No examples to cite).
3) I fully support the hiring of Mike Nolan for D-coordinator. By all accounts he is a spectacular coordinator. Plus he is a snazzy dresser. It isn't official yet, so I'm guessing the rumors/positive reaction is going to be enough to convince Thompson not to hire him. Plus it seems way to high profile for the Pack. But if he gets it, I think he can figure out what the team is really capable of doing, and he won't cram a 3-4 down our throats with a bunch of guys that can't play it. Maybe we could run a 2-1-8?
4)Just got word that the Brewers signed 137 year old Trevor Hoffman and his 48 mph change up. That is a BIG signing. He is the most reliable closer we have had since Coco, and probably Dan Pleasac before that. Now if he could only start 30+ games too, we would be set to go. He has the best entrance music since Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn.
1) Jeff Jagodzinski getting shit canned at B.C. I'm going to go ahead and ask why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. A few things are obviously true: 1) Jagz knew that he would be fired if he interviewed with the Jets, 2) He did it anyway, 3) He was fired. Everything else is sort of irrelevant. I have heard that he had a clause in his contract stating this very fact. Whether he did or not, this is how the real world works, even though D-I college athletics is about as far from the real world as there is. If I went to interview for another job and my boss found out, I would expect to be a)fired or b) have my boss make my life so miserable that I would quit. I don't fault Jagz for trying to get a better job. Its America. I'm quite certain about 90% of people with jobs are looking for new ones. But to freak out on the employer for firing them is stupid. Admittedly the situation is not really a normal one with a college coach given the regular turnover, but if BC wanted a coach to stay in it for the long haul, they had every right to let him go.
2) Pacman got cut. Good for the Cowboys. What killed me about the story is that I was watching SportsCenter last night when the story broke, and ESPN essentially took credit for being the straw that broke the camel's back. This "new information" regarding the hit that he allegedly ordered in 2007 that was somehow unknown to anyone previously, was going to be reported by ESPN on "Outside the Lines" on Sunday. According to SportsCenter, Jerry Jones first heard of it when ESPN called to ask for a comment and "coincidentally" they cut Pacman like an hour later. Funny how ESPN is willing to take credit for shit like this, that probably didn't have any effect on Jones's decision (I mean really? One tie to an attempted murder was OK, but TWO? Two is where the Cowboys draw the line.), yet when they totally fuck up they refuse to take any blame (No examples to cite).
3) I fully support the hiring of Mike Nolan for D-coordinator. By all accounts he is a spectacular coordinator. Plus he is a snazzy dresser. It isn't official yet, so I'm guessing the rumors/positive reaction is going to be enough to convince Thompson not to hire him. Plus it seems way to high profile for the Pack. But if he gets it, I think he can figure out what the team is really capable of doing, and he won't cram a 3-4 down our throats with a bunch of guys that can't play it. Maybe we could run a 2-1-8?
4)Just got word that the Brewers signed 137 year old Trevor Hoffman and his 48 mph change up. That is a BIG signing. He is the most reliable closer we have had since Coco, and probably Dan Pleasac before that. Now if he could only start 30+ games too, we would be set to go. He has the best entrance music since Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
ESPN's Crack Staff
Coors Light Cold Hard Facts today. #5: John Clayton, which team will win the NFC Central? John's response was the Packers. That response was only partially correct. The answer should have been: "Well Greeny, you fucking moron, the NFC fucking CENTRAL hasn't existed in 6 fucking years. But the Packers will probably win it."
I mean seriously, doesn't ESPN have a team of editors or at least fucking college intern's or something to get that stuff straight. Even the graphic said NFC Central. And even if the editor, producer and intern all missed it, couldn't Mike Greenberg do something besides just read whatever the telestrator said? Doesn't he think at all on the air? I don't pretend to know what it is like to be on live TV. But if you do it every day, one would think you could prevent that error.
Question #6 was which team will represent the AFL in the NFL-AFL World Championship game.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Just as I predicted...
ESPN immediately throws up a news article about how awesome Favre's comeback win was today. Maybe they forgot the whole reason they were down at all was because Favre threw a pick earlier in the game that lead to a Chiefs touchdown and then threw another pick that got returned for another TD? Fuck ESPN and fuck Favre.
Also that new Guitar Hero commercial with Tony Hawk, Kobe Bryant, A-Rod and Michael Phelps is really creepy and leads me to believe that all four of those individuals had sex with each other.
Also that new Guitar Hero commercial with Tony Hawk, Kobe Bryant, A-Rod and Michael Phelps is really creepy and leads me to believe that all four of those individuals had sex with each other.
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