Trail of Tears

So last night, I decided to hop in the car to try to watch a live, televised sodomization of a bird (and not one with a red color). Only, I couldn't find a bar in Green Bay with the satellite capabilities. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Its not like the game was being shot on a fucking handheld and being shown on the campus access station. It was on fucking FSN Midwest. ALL cable/satellite systems can get it for about an additional $50 a month. But the three largest sports bars in Green Bay didn't have it. You cheap fucks. I've about had it with this shit. I am going to open a fucking bar, and have ACTUAL fucking satellite systems to watch SPORTING EVENTS. Fucking assholes.

-It turns out it was for the best. But still.

-So I guess the eleven games in a row the Jays won don't mean anything since they had one bad game, because now it is a forgone conclusion that they are out. At the very least it is going to be a long day Sunday. But in my worthless, biased opinion, they should be in.

-My brother is going to be crushed by the news that Matty Wise is retiring.

-Bought MLB '09: The Show yesterday. And I can't hit a curveball, or a changeup, or a fastball for that matter. Lets just say I've got a few kinks to work out. I've never played the game before so everything is taking some getting used to.

The Road to the Show mode is fucking rad. Somehow I made myself a pitcher, and in my mind I'm a huge black dude with blonde hair. I got drafted by the Nationals, and am pitching my way through Spring Training. You pitch games, and have to complete goals like "get a ground ball out" or "don't let this run score". The more points you get, the better your attributes get.

The best part of the game is how real the players are, my wife actually asked me if the Brewers were on last night when she walked into the room. The players mannerisms are so dead on it is scary. Like when Braun goes up to the plate, and does his thing with his batting gloves and takes his deep breath. Or Fatty Tumor, shrugging his shoulders to get the jersey out of his fat rolls.

NFL Network is Stupid

I technically don't really mean that. Any station that can give me live coverage of dudes running 40 yard dashed in thier underwear, is alright by me. But seriously, this morning (before I went to work, which is fucking bullshit) during a commercial break, they were touting 21 hours of He Who Shall Not Be Named's greatest moments. I thought to myself "Cool. Perhaps I can catch some old Packer games that I haven't seen in awhile." So I check the guide, and the old standards are all there: 1) The Cincinnati game in '92, when Majik got hurt and never came back (I actually have been watching like 10 minutes of this game a week since the LAST time he retired and they did this marathon thing. I'm somewhere in the 2nd quarter.) 2) The '95 title game against the Cowboys, that they keep showing for some reason, and which I refuse to watch because they fucking lost. How can it be one of His best performances if we lost? 3) The Pats Super Bowl. I'm not sure I recall seeing the actual TV broadcast since it was on when I was 16, so I recorded this one. 4) The Raiders game after his dad died. This was like 5 years ago, no need to record. Then, SIX FUCKING HOURS OF JETS GAMES. Really? He plays 16 out of 18 years in one place, but you are going to go with 6 out of 21 hours for the one season that he played for a different team. One that didn't even end in the playoffs? I disagree with this decision. I would allow the Cardinal game where he threw 6 TD's to be considered amongst the best in his career, but that is it. There were probably 100 other games those unimaginative fucks could have put on.

Instant Replay?

About 5 times a year or so there is a media uprising for instant replay in Major League Baseball because the Yankees or Red Sox got screwed out of (or into) a home run. It happened again last night with A-Rod's homerun that was not called. There is always two talking heads screaming at each other about it. One guy is the old school guy who is against it, and one is the younger guy who is for it.

The major arguments against instant replay are: 1)It would ruin the integrity of the game; 2)They didn't need it when Babe Ruth played, why do they need it now?; 3)It would add time to games that are already too fucking long; 4) We couldn't make it perfect, so we should rely on 4 guys (with Coke bottle glasses) randomly positioned 150 ft away from a 9 inch sphere, moving 125 mph, and two men running 15 mph to decide plays that can come down to a fraction of an inch and could eventually cost people millions of dollars.

The major arguments for it: 1)They do it in football and it seems to work OK; 2)Technology exists today that didn't exist 75 years ago, so we should use it (and fuck Babe Ruth); 3) Too many calls are blown that cost teams runs directly, and therefore games; 4) Too much money is riding on the outcome of these games to leave them to chance; 5)When a call is close, they already waste 3 to 5 minutes arguing with players/managers, and by that time the TV booth already knows whether the call was blown or not.

I think it is pretty clear what I think of this. While I admit there is some charm to baseball and the way it is officiated, I think it is stupid to let the umps make the calls, but then show the replay of an obviously blown call on a jumbotron and have the umps pretend they are still right. There are about a million different proposals for instant replay in baseball (much like a college football playoff, and not unsurprisingly, the likelihood of either happening is about as likely as Bear's first born not having fur, sharp teeth and a taste for salmon). Last year, MLB refused to consider even an instant replay of only close HR calls (the only play that ALWAYS changes the scoreboard).

So here is how I would do it:

1) ALL plays would be fair game. I'm talking any play on any base, HR's, close catches/traps in the field, fair/foul, balls and strikes.

2) Each manager gets 3 "challenges" per game. This is similar to the NFL rule. Manager comes out of the dugout or throws a flag or something.

3) There is an independent replay person in the booth at every game. This would not be expensive or time consuming. The cameras are already in place at every game.

4) Balls and strikes would be called base on a standard strike zone (which they are supposed to use anyway). Waist to knees or whatever it technically is. If ESPN/Fox/TBS can put the "K-zone" thing up 5 seconds after a pitch, surely a replay person can have the same technology.

5) I think the largest issue would be: what would happen if a ball that was actually fair was called foul and reversed, or a ball that was ruled an out on a diving catch that was actually trapped was reversed? What happens to the base runners? I think what needs to happen is like old school "lazy-man" baseball. (i.e. The hit would have to automatically be ruled a single, and the runner on base would advance one spot). Obviously, this is still screwing the team that had to challenge. But, a single is better than an out or a foul ball that could later lead to an out.

6) Time wise, this would avoid the manager arguments, ejections, etc. I actually think this could cut time off of a game. I also don't think you would have a big problem with challenging balls and strikes because there are so many calls in a game, I doubt many managers (except Dusty Baker) would waste challenges on those.

7)Umpires would still be integral, but would actually be held accountable in the game for messing up.

I personally don't think it would be that hard to implement, and it would have a great positive effect on the game. Limiting the challenges would avoid a team arguing on every close call, and saving them for key moments. Umpiring would improve, games could be shortened, strike zones would be the same for every pitcher/hitter/umpire. And we wouldn't have to listen to Sox/YanksCenter bitch about another missed HR call.