Sunday Results

Big day for me on Sunday.

• won an 8 team money line parlay - $5 won $42.97
• won a 4 team NBA parlay with over/under, money line and spread - $5 won $23.41
• won an NFL prop bet - first score of Redskins/Raiders would be a FG - $8.41 won $9.25
• won a 2 team NHL parlay - $5 won $8.32
• won 2 team NFL parlay - $5 won $5.76

If the Bears would've covered 4.5 I would've won another $140. Fucking Mason Crosby fucked that up for me. Had he hit that FG the Pack would've been up 10. The Bears possibly drive for a late TD and lose by 3. But by missing that I didn't have much of a chance.

The account balance is up to $123.14, meaning you'll have to put up with my obsession for about one more week. I've made back my 2nd installment and plan to ride this wave to an early retirement.

I've come to realize you start to understand what bets to place a little better the more you do it. Not to suggest I'll start winning, but I know a lot more about a lot more teams right now. Like Boston College is awful. They've lost to Harvard and Rhode Island back to back.

Other thoughts -

Mason Crosby needs to be cut right now. We are incredibly lucky his dick suckiness hasn't cost us a game. You could hear the sadness in the radio announcers voices when he missed that FG today. I don't care who they get. Pick up the dude the Redskins just cut. Maybe a change of scenery will help that guy and maybe Crosby will benefit as well.

What is it about the 2nd half of games. The Packers simply suck. The term "it" is applied to many teams and players. The Packers don't have "it." At least not yet.

Bears fans were so pumped to get Jay Cutler. My dad has a friend in Chicago who told him before the year began that they finally had the guy to win them a championship. He has great skills, there's no doubt about that. But he doesn't have "it" either. He simply sucks this year. Besides, he looks like a whiny little brat.

The Bucks are entirely unpredictable. They almost beat the Celtics at Boston. And they won a great doubt OT game against the Blazers, although they shit the bed in the 4th quarter and almost lost. They're much better than expected and maybe a playoff team without a very good record. Brandon Jennings is the go-to clutch player. He's a stud in the making, but not quite there yet, too inconsistent. We'll groom him into an All Star and then he'll go to NY or LA in a couple years. Michael Redd is done. He makes this team worse. Trade him. Now.

Weekend Preview

Here is my unresearched Packer/Bear Preview.

Packers Running O v. Bears Running D:

It remains to be seen whether Ryan Grant is good like he was in '07, or bad like he was in '08. The line is a question mark, although the fact that Rodgers' jersey was clean at the end of the preseason is a good sign. The Bears are stout against the run, and there is no reason to think they won't be again. Edge: Bears.

Packers Passing O v. Bears Passing D:

This one won't be a fair fight. Not only were the Bears starters a bit shaky against the pass, but most of those starters are hurt. And A-Rodg is suddenly what would happen if Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas and Johnny Utah had a three way (at least according to the National media). Edge: Pack

Bears Passing O v. Packers Passing D

I'm giving the slight edge to the Packers due to Woodson/Harris. And only slight because I have no clue how the new scheme will affect their strengths (can Harris play zone?), and because Cutler has a slight chance of being good. Also, Cutlerfuck could throw 5 picks and be sacked 8 times based on how the D looked in the preseason. Edge: Pack

Bears Running O v. Packers Running D

Forte is really, really good. The Bears line is good at run blocking. Raji is out, and I have no idea how the 3/4 will do. Edge: Bears

Special Teams

Crosby was awful in the preseason. Our punter is average. Our return man is out. Hester still scares me a bit. Edge: Bears

Weather: no edge

Intangibles: My favorite category because it is utterly meaningless. I'm giving it to the Lambeau crowd. Edge: Packers

Coaching: I know Lovie Smith got the Bears to a Super Bowl, but I'm not sold on him. Push.

Prediction: Packers 21, Bears 14. Cutler throws a back-breaking 4th quarter INT that Cullen Jenkins takes to the house.

BADGER PREDICTION: UW 24, Fresno St. 23

FESTIVITIES:

So I'm going to the game Sunday night. I would put my anxiety level at about a 6/10, up from 3/10 yesterday. For reference, my anxiety for the NFC Championship against the Giants was a 23/10. I've been tossing around the idea of getting up slightly hungover on Sunday and heading to the bars to watch the noon games before going to a semi-organized tailgate party. I've already been given that sideways look, and warning from my wife that goes something like: "We can do that. But I don't think it is a very good idea to drink for 7 hours before the game. You don't want to be blacked out at kickoff. And I don't want to have to take care of you either." If I had a nickel for every time she has said that to me in the 6+ years we've been together, I would be rich, and probably would've blacked out alot more than I have. She is right about 90% of the time. We will see I guess. I took Monday off of work.

Interesting Things

I was all set to write up a post bitching about how Peter King (and others) have picked the Bears to be in the Super Bowl. That is despite the fact that Cutler's liver will surely explode at some point this season due to binge drinking and diabetes. And the fact that he is a gigantic douche that will get mad at Matt Forte for scoring all the touchdowns or something and refuse to throw him the ball to make a point. Or the fact that there are no discernible wide receivers on the team to throw to. Or the fact that their secondary was awful last year. Or the fact that Brian Urlacher is without a doubt the most overrated player in NFL history. Or the fact that the offense they run is so pedestrian, that it doesn't really matter who plays QB.

But then I listened to a BS Report podcast from last week. And Mike Lombardi from the National Football Post and the NFL Network picked the motherfucking Green Bay Packers. Which I was both surprised and delighted by. And this pick was made BEFORE the first team beat down the Pack put on Arizona. At the very least, a Super Bowl prediction by a respected journalist leads me to believe that the Packers should be a very, very good team.

It is a good thing that Peter King is not a respected journalist, because that would mean the Bears will be good too.

On a side note, I haven't heard anyone predict either the Viqueens or the Lions in the Super Bowl, meaning both are going to gargle cock all year.

On another side note, the Packers/Bears game on September 13th (that I have tickets to) is a de facto NFC Championship game.

On a third side note, the game tonight against the Titans is going to be boring as shit. I hope to (Sports Bottle's) god that Matt Flynn plays tonight. Because I would have to get pretty goddamn drunk to enjoy 3.9 quarters of Brian Brohm throwing passes to the other team.

Football for Breakfast

So that was an absolutely dominating performance by the starters on Friday night in Arizona. I can't decide if I'm more pumped about Rodgers having a fucking 151.1 passer rating through three preseason games (8TD, 0INT) or the defense flying all over the place making plays. I know better than to get overly optimistic, or depressed over fake football games. But I would much rather have the team brimming with confidence, than freaking out. I could legitimately see 10 or 11 wins out of this team, barring significant injury. There doesn't appear to be a glaring weakness anywhere. Right now on offense, the weak link might just be Ryan Grant. I was worried about the O-line, but Rodgers hasn't been touched yet. On defense, I'm not sure where the problem lies. We have about 7 LBs that could start just about anywhere in the league, the D-Line appears revitalized with Raji, and the secondary in pretty stellar. The middle of the field seems to be open against us, but the LBs have been getting after the QB, so it hasn't been truly exploited yet (except for a few times by Fitzgerald, who could have exposed the Steel Curtain). The other thing I like is that with the aggressive defense, turnovers are more likely to happen.

I like the Pack over the Bears in week 1. ESPN has been fawning over Cutler's "playmaking ability" because he did a designed roll out and completed a 4 yard pass to a wide open receiver against one of the worst defenses in the league. I guess that was just as good as throwing for 200+yds and 3TDs in a half against the defending conference champions. I also like me getting really, really drunk that night.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

It starts Thursday already. (So does College Fantasy Football!) That is crazy. Badgers play Saturday night against Northern Illinois. I'll have a preview on Friday. The Badgers will dominate. I'm seeing 7 or 8 wins for Bucky, and a spot in the Donkey Punch Bowl (narrowly missing out on Juice's Dream D-I NCCA Football Get Together Presented by Cockring Emporium). Tebow will likely allow some sick child to walk again despite having both legs amputated.

This Just Occurred to Me

So I really don't have time to do this (I know, all I do is piss and moan, but I am going to drive to the IRS headquarters and kill everyone), but something just occurred to me regarding this Cutler to the Bears trade. The Packers would NEVER make this trade. TWO first rounders? No. Fucking. Way. The Pack might not even trade the third rounder. OR Orton. If God (Sports Bottle's) himself was available to play quarterback, the Packers needed one, and all it would take would be two first round picks, the Packers would refuse. They wouldn't even trade a 3rd rounder for Randy Moss for fucks sake.

I still think the price was way too steep. This has Herschel Walker written all over it (not quite). I guess we can look forward to Denver winning like 4 Super Bowls in the '10s.

Fuck Denver. Fuck Chicago. Fuck Cutler. Have a super happy fun weekend (I'll be at work).

This just in

Jay Cutler is reportedly a Chicago! Bear

So two first round draft picks, this year and next's, swapping the Bears 3rd for the Broncos 5th and then the real kicker, the Broncos get Kyle Orton? I think the Broncos swept the rug out from under the Bears here, this is of course just my early speculation.

The Bears were probably the best team, of the three other NFC North teams, to get Cutler. Orton was an ok QB last year versus abysmal QBing from the Lions and Queens. It will be interesting to see if Cutler actually drastically or just mildly improves the Bears next year.

Cutler and the "Other" League

So the Broncos came out and said they are going to trade Cutler. Here are the pros and cons as I see it, broken down in list form:

CON: The Broncos gave up all of their leverage as far as getting a decent offer.
PRO: It could have been intentional in order to fuck over Cutler, so they can use the excuse they didn't get any good offers. And if they didn't want to trade him, painting him as being a fuckbag (like they did) is a good way to scare teams off.

The Lions are considering offering the number one overall pick.

PRO: I guess from the Lions standpoint, they are getting a somewhat proven commodity. They get no worse than a competent starting QB, and could have a perennial Pro Bowler. With the first pick, they could get another Joey Harrington in Matt Stafford. The Broncos get the number one pick for giving up a player they don't want anyway.

CON: That is a pretty steep fucking price to pay for a guy who has never been to the playoffs, and seems like a bit of a headcase. The Lions would have to get something additional I would think (player, pick, etc.). I can't think of anyone other than another pick being traded for the number one overall pick. The Lions better be pretty sure there isn't anyone they could pick that would be better than Cutler. Right now, here are the list of players who would be worthy of trading the number one pick straight up for: Peyton Manning, Adrian Peterson, Tom Brady (if 100% healthy). That's the list.

The most important question: How might this affect Green Bay?

PRO: It won't unless one of the NFC North teams trade for him, and all three have been rumored to be trading for every QB on every team in the past two years or so. All three have shitty quarterbacks. If one of the other teams do trade for him, and it doesn't work out, the fallout will be spectacular.

CON: If it did work out, and he turns out to be great, then we have to face him twice a year for 10 years or so. That would suck.

In conclusion, Thompson should offer the Broncos his first, second and third for their 4th through 7th round picks. Plus a 6th and 7th next year. It would work out perfect. Fuck Jay Cutler.

IN "OTHER" LEAGUE NEWS:

So I'm in that "other" fantasy baseball league. We had an online draft the other night, which took three plus hours because all 12 guys showed up, and all took the entire allotted amount of time on every pick (except for me). I got ripped for taking Ryan Braun at number 5, when another dude took Manny at 8. Everyone else was drafting "prospects" in the early-ish rounds. Guys that are going to be great for a half year, or next year (David Price, etc.). In the comments, they justified every pick with spring training stats. My comment was continuously that spring training stats don't count. Everyone is convinced that J.J. Hardy is going to hit .381 with 60 HRs because he is hitting well in Spring Training. My response was that he will hit 52 of those in a two week stretch, and then hit .112 the rest of the year. Their mindsets are incredible.

So the draft was two days ago. Some dude got up at 5:30 a.m. this morning to pick up Pudge fucking Rodriguez, and then bragged about it. It is going to be pretty difficult to completely bite my tongue for the whole season.