The Morning Dump Vol. 2

- The Brewers appear to be firmly out of their slump. They hammered the Cards' ace last night (with the help of a timely error).

-My torrid, non-sexual, love affair with Ryan Braun is officially heating up again. 4HRs in 6 ABs will do that to a guy. I have as many feelings as one man can legally have for another in the state of Wisconsin. ETA on when I have a Ryan Braun jersey is under 30 days.

-Oh, and forget what I had to say about Mitchy Stetter in any sort of closer role (21 pitches, 16 balls, will do that to a guy).

-The Brewers had FOUR people in their starting lineup with a BA under the Mendoza line. Weeks (.188), Hall (.199), Cameron (.180) and Bush. That is pretty unacceptable for a major league team in mid-May. NO thought on Yost's part to at least shuffle the lineup a little, or to give Gwynn more starts.

-Starting a new feature here, the daily Weeks update where I write down Weeks line last night and then I point and laugh, and then throw something across the room. Last night: 0 for 4, saw 11 TOTAL PITCHES, GIDP, 0 BB, 0 HBP (solid effort). Season: .188, 5HR, 13RBI, .654 OPS (on base plus slugging percentage, .750 is considered average for all players, .650 is considered poor, a good leadoff man is usually above .750).

-A little confused on how Mota got a save last night. I think the way it works is if the number of guys on base + the man at bat + number of outs left= the # of runs you are up you get a save. Mota came in with bases loaded with two outs, up by five. Either way, I guess that makes "The Committee" 2-0, and Gagne 10-7. Gagne sucked again last night by the way.

-That dunk by LeBron in the 4th last night was spectacular.

-Asdrubal Cabrera's unassisted triple play was the 14th in MLB history, which is insane.

-Friday afternoon I am leaving to go to Syttende Mai in Stoughton, WI, which I guess is Norwegian independence day or some shit. Playing in the annual golf tournament which is called Shit-In-My-Eye which a bunch of college buddies. The tournament usually involves carts tipping over and at least one person being hit with a golf ball. Inevitably, I get black out drunk and puke. This year will be the wife's inaugural (and probably last) appearance.

The Morning Dump

This is a collection of things that have been rattling around in my brain, but I don't have the creativity and/or material to write an entire post on it, but I can't simply let them go because I like to see my thoughts written down into words. Surely nobody else is reading this anyway. (Now Including Free Bullet Points!!!)

- I saw on PTI yesterday that a 4 year old hit a hole in one in Colorado on a 91 yard "par 3" using a Snoopy driver. My first thought was, good for him, his life has peaked at 4 and he had nothing to look forward to. My second thought was that his parents should be arrested for duct taping a golf club to a freaking 4 year old. YOUR KID IS NOT GOING TO BE TIGER WOODS. THERE IS NO FUCKING CHANCE THAT GOLFING WAS HIS IDEA. LET THE KID EAT GLUE AND PLAY WITH TRANSFORMERS FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS! But no, you have to ruin your kids life by forcing him to golf 36 holes a day before he is in kindergarten. I can already see the dad quitting his job and putting a second mortgage on the house so he can take this kid around the country to play in tournaments at age 5, and enrolling him in some special school that concentrates on golf skills. Then the kid will turn 14 and get a sponsors exemption to play in a PGA event, shoot an 83, and spend the next 15 years at Q-school trying to qualify. This kid is going to be Todd Marinovich if he's lucky.

- The Brewers are getting increasingly difficult to invest any time into watching. Not only are they playing like shit, they just don't really seem like they are even trying, which is even more frustrating. They have lost 5 straight to teams that they are better than on paper. I heard yesterday that the guy who started for the Marlins spent all of last season in single A. They made him look like fucking Sandy Koufax last night. I am sort of one of the people Bear describes, that get all panicky in May. Because I am just failing to see how I am supposed to have any confidence that they are going to flip the switch and turn it around. They aren't pitching very well, but they couldn't win even if they were because they aren't hitting at all. However, we probably should just take a deep breath and compare ourselves to other situations around the league. Take a look at some other teams in the MLB standings: Yankees (17-18), Indians (16-17), Tigers (15-20), Mariners (14-21), Rockies (13-21), Padres (12-22). Those are six teams that many expected to be in the playoffs, or at least contend, that have the same or worse records than the Brewers. As an outside observer, I feel like I have some confidence that all of those teams can turn it around, and I don't know if its that I watch every Brewer game that doesn't give me the same hope for them or what, but maybe I should believe in the Crew more. Regardless, until Rickie Weeks (.194 BA!!!!) stops hitting leadoff, it is going to be painful to watch every pitch.

- A mini-interlude: Did anyone see "The Real World" last night? I sort of got dragged into watching this with my wife a few years back. Usually, it is sort of a parody of itself, and isn't that entertaining. Last night though, was a fucking life altering episode. It was one of the most intense shows ever. One of the dudes is like this alcoholic body builder guy, who fell off the wagon by going on the show. He got all wasted, came home from the bars at like 4 a.m., and then pounded a six pack and one of those gigantic bottles of cheap wine. Then he went off the fucking deep end with this insane laugh (kind of like The Joker, only scarier), and started punching himself in the face and headbutting the wall and shit. Then he started threatening to physically harm the girls that were in the house saying: "I'll knock their asses the fuck out! One punch, just like this!" And then he would punch himself in the face. Anyways, it was an epic, epic meltdown. Well worth watching one of the 273 times MTV replays it between now and next Wednesday.

- Cedric Benson's "friends" account of what happened on the boat doesn't really make me believe him any more. She claims she called her dad to call 911 because she heard Cedric yelling and assumed he was being beaten by police and "didn't seem intoxicated". Why she didn't call 911 herself, I dunno. Unless she was standing right next to him as he was getting pepper sprayed, this doesn't help him. I also fully expect the other 14 people on the boat to come to his defense because a) he's got a lot of money; b) most people don't really like police pepper spraying their friends. She just isn't in a position to be credible or very believable. The one thing I do find fascinating is that he was pulled over 6 times on his boat, which seems almost impossible. That is the best fact he has going for him at this point. It certainly sounds like they were out to get him, if that fact is true. Still, if he can be proven to be legally drunk (and it sounds like he refused a test, which means he is probably automatically considered legally intoxicated), then he still really doesn't have much of a defense to any of this.

- Mini-interlude #2: Season finale of "The Office", new episode of "Lost" and Game 3 of Hornets-Spurs gives me a small twitch in my pants.

I have got NOTHING to do at work today, so I will probably get bored and throw something else up later. That is if I am not arrested for stealing my paycheck first.