It Is Over

The diet. Got down to 180. A mere 39 pounds. I promptly went out and ate and drank like a 219 pounder. Won't be long until I'm back there.

The NL Central Race. Felipe Lopez will hit .436 with 39 HRs 141 RBI and 34 SB the rest of the way, and will also contribute in long relief. His addition will have the Crew winning the Central by 12 games. What I don't like is that we traded a minor leaguer I've actually heard of (Cole Gillespie). But in reality like 5% of minor leaguers ever even make it pro, so I guess I shouldn't worry. Chances we get Halladay? -45%.

The thought that Seth McClung is good. Jonny Gomes? Really?

The flight of Prince's homer yesterday. It finally landed.

In other news, I got completely fucked up a 4 in the afternoon with my 75-ish year old grandma. I bet between 4 and 7 pm on Saturday, the 6 people that were playing dice had between 50 and 75 shots. I know I had 10. It was totally random.

Semi-Daily Brew Crew Hangover #11

THAT was cool as shit. I never expected to get goose bumps from a relief pitcher coming in during a 10-5 game, but that is some bad ass shit to come out to a song as cool as Hells Bells. What is odd about it is that you would expect him to come out firing 98 mph fastballs instead of 78 mph changeups. That is about all I got, except that Yost would've made Looper throw one at LaRoche's head immediately following Braun getting beaned, and we would've lost that game because McClung and Villanueva are unreliable at best. So chalk up a +1 to Macha for keeping his cool. And Pirates better watch their fucking backs today, because I have a feeling one might "accidentally" get away from Bush in the first inning.

I'm Not Dead

I also haven't pretended to retire, then suspiciously ask for my release immediately following a number of conversations with my "friend", who just happens to be a mid-level executive at one of our main blog competitors. (That by the way is a joke, we have no competition, mostly because nobody knows we exist.) Anyways, I LOVE the tampering angle. And the scenario isn't all that retarded at all. I would savor the Vikings first round pick more than life itself. FUCK THE QUEENS. Have fun with Tavarious (or how ever the fuck it is spelled) and you half full dome assfucks.

Also wanted to chime in on the latest from our genius manager Neddy. It has been rumoured on various radio shows 'round these parts, that Ned Albert Einstien Yost, is following up his batting the pitcher 8th with this beauty: He is going to solve the full starting pitching staff problem (I call it half empty, but whatever), by pitching Dave Bush in home games and Seth McClung in road games. I don't care how much of a fucking sabermatition you are (FYI, Bush is 4-2, 2.49 at home and 2-6 6.95 away and McClung is 4-4, 4.95 at home and 1-1 3.28 on the road), that is fucking retarded. Words can't even really describe how asinine that is. Even if the stats make it interesting it is fucking really, really dumb. I mean why don't we just platoon every fucking spot on the team, that is what Ned really wants. In fact, on even numbered days after road games, Ned is awful, so we should have Ted Simmons manage those games.

No Hockey for Old Men

-I tried really, really hard to make it until the end of the hockey game last night. It was a fantastic game (as far as I could tell). Its just that on a Monday night, when I was up at 6 to go to work in the morning, midnight gets to be pretty late. It fucking sucks fighting with all your might to try to stay up for something, and losing miserably. I was trying to fill my 4 hockey games per year quota, and I made it to the second OT, so counts I guess. What struck me (other than that dude that got hit in the face with the slapshots' face) was how much better Detroit was than Pittsburgh. They were so much faster, and they got off about three times as many shots, and lost. There is nothing better than OT playoff hockey. I just wish it was on earlier.

-I lost a bet yesterday. I had "when velociraptors hatch from my ass" as the date that Prince Fielder would steal third base. I also had "when running my nuts over with a lawn mower sounds like a good idea" as the date that he would steal third and get an infield single in the same game. So congrats.

-In Ned Yost news, he is still a fucking asshole. When questioned on whether he was concerned about Rickie "Windmill" Weeks and Mike "The human auger" Cameron striking out fucking 80 times between them, and batting 1st and 2nd, he responded (paraphrasing): "Russell Branyan fucking struck out 11 out of 22 at bats, so he is striking out fucking 50% of the time, but he's batting fucking .300 so nobody complains about him." Really Ned? Really? A guy could strike out 70% of the time as far as I'm concerned, but if he got a hit the other 30% of the time I would be perfectly fine. He has no argument at all and is fucking stupid. Weeks and Cameron are NOT good hitters.

-HUGE save last night. Despite their best efforts to fuck it up, Torres makes "The Committee" 7-1 v. 11-7 for Gagne. And Gagne TOTALLY would have lost that one last night.

-They call our resident ginger Seth McClung "Chucky". That is funny. He has his first two career hits off of Randy fucking Johnson.

-My wife believes that someone should bring back the term "Janky". I personally believe it is underused.

Who is Seth McClung?

Rather than rehash the entire game from last night's beautiful Brewer win, I thought I would take the opportunity to meet the 6'6" 270 lb. mountain of a man that is Seth McClung.

But first few observations from last night:

-I'm sure someone intelligent will explain this to me, but why did McClung pitch 1 1/3 innings four days before he was going to start?

-Eric Gagne was Eric Gagne last night.

-Weeks Watch: 2-4, K, HBP!, 2R Season: .200 BA, .665 OPS, 734HBP

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall Update: 2-3, 0HR, 1K Season: .207BA, 9 HR (second), 47K (1st by 9)

-Good win, Yost is safe for another day. But, As The Wolf would say: "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

OK, back to the matter at hand. I think putting in McClung isn't a bad move. Carlos has struggled, and McClung gives the Crew a true power pitcher (has thrown in triple digits). He really has generally been very good so far (1-1, 3.54 ERA, 20K in 20 1/3IP, 1.37 WHIP). I guess they really had nothing to lose. So who is he? A few facts about our new starter:

1) It is fitting that he be called a "mountain man" because he is from West Virginia.

2) He is a ginger kid.

3) Career Stats: 18-26, 5.97 ERA, 1.61WHIP, 207K in 283IP, started 37 times for TB

4) He's 27 years old.

5) He eats small children and shits diamonds.

What I was most intrigued by was his ginger status. I wanted to find out the likelihood of him being any good based solely on his red hair. Very quick research located the following MLB "stars" with red hair: Wade Boggs, Mark McGuire (sort of), Rick Sutcliffe. That's the list that I could find in five minutes. If he is as good as Sutcliffe, I'll take it. Clearly he is destined for the hall of fame.