Target Field Recap

Let me go ahead and get the game/Brewer/Target Field experience out of the way before I get to the stuff everyone really probably wants to read. The seats we had were insane. I've never had seats that good to a baseball game before, and probably never will again. It really does make a difference where you are when you watch the game. When you can see facial expressions and the movement of pitches it makes a huge difference. I felt like I was at a Wisconsin Timber Rattlers game. Our seats were slightly to the left of home plate, about 15 rows up. So close that we routinely ducked when a pitch would get fouled back. It was amazing.

Target Field itself is very nice once you are in your seat. The concourses were extremely narrow, which doesn't make much sense for a brand new stadium. It didn't help that it was about 1000 degrees and I was so hung over I wanted to die, but they were really crowded. The food options were probably a little better than Miller Park, and I wasn't at all interested in beer so I can't give you much there. The area surrounding the stadium was the nicest I've seen by far. Overall, not as fancy as Yankee Stadium, but more functional, and not as large. And the concourses are way too tight. I still prefer the Miller Park experience, especially when you consider that there is no place to tailgate. It was surprisingly easy to park, and though traffic always seems to be mildly horrendous in the Twin Cities, getting out wasn't that bad. I would go back, if only to find that prick that told me to "Get the fuck out of my way!" because I was "going the wrong way down the steps". I was personally unaware there were designated lanes. But it is a new stadium so I could've missed the sign.

During the game, I pitched an inning and 2/3 because Macha felt the need to use every pitcher on his roster the night before to attempt to save his job. John Axford's mustache got the save, and he is now my favorite pitcher. Finally, because we were in good ass seats, we were about ten feet from Zach Braddock's mother and sister as they screamed during his major league debut and illegally recorded it on a camcorder like it was a little league game.

Oh, and Corey Hart hit the first homer into the third deck which had to have been about 475ft, but because it was a visiting player that hit it, the Twins estimated at 440 ft. PPS. I heard Fielder's fat when he got hit by that pitch in his first at bat.

OTHER THINGS

We got DRUNK. Like, my wife and I were both blacked out, stumbled around downtown Minneapolis somehow avoiding being shot, my wife broke her shoe and was walking around barefoot, we finally hailed a cab to get directions to the hotel, but my wife jumped in the backseat and refused to get out, so the cabdriver drove us a block and a half to the hotel, where we had no cash and my wife refused to get out of the cab, but the cab driver didn't want money but I felt the need to go to the ATM to give him $20 anyway, then we both puked and my wife woke up with Ricky's Brewer jersey (that he'd worn that night) and shorts on even though they were way too small on her, so she's totally going to be giving birth to his child in 9 months, and then she proceeded to vomit until about the 5th inning of the game, drunk. So we had some fun. I accidentally drank a "Premium" Grain Belt because a waitress fucked up my order, and the thought of it makes me want to puke again today. The game would've been alot more fun if it wasn't 1000 degrees and I wasn't hung over. Overall, I'm pretty sure downtown Minneapolis was awesome and we both cheated death again. Same time next year????

Now if you will excuse me, I have to spend day one of my vacation doing manual labor in 1000 degree temps.

Brew Crew (and Other) Hangover

BREW CREW HANGOVER

They might never win another game. At least they are playing on the road this weekend, when I will be there. They have a puncher's chance on the road. At home, they can't do anything right lately. It is becoming borderline painful to watch. Schizophrenic as always. At least they didn't replace Doug Davis with Soup, which shows you how ridiculous it was that he was ever starting in the first place. But if you've got a guy who is only the 8th (assuming Villa is done starting) best starter on your team wasting space in the bullpen, why is he still here at all? Best to Doug Davis. The Brewers seem cursed this year. That Brewer-Cub game in September is looking better and better.

OTHER HANGOVER

My (Sports Bottle's) god. It is painful to type right now. I'm in BAD shape. This is in the top 3 worst second day hangovers I've ever had. And I can't really give you a good reason why. Everything went sort of as planned this weekend. I got really, really drunk on Friday. I wandered away about midnight and got yelled at (probably deservedly so). I blacked out and forgot how I got back to Schmock's house.

Saturday, I woke up with a hangover, killed it with an Excedrin and a screwdriver, and proceeded to get super ass drunk. I had a nice mixture of beer/caffinated mixed drinks, and somehow (I think, I'll be honest when I say I don't remember) stayed away from vodka/cranberry. Spent somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 straight hours at Pack R Place bar, ate a huge greasy burger, a brat and a chicken sandwich. Told a bunch of inappropriate jokes. Good times were had. Then we went to Schmock's parents, and things are a total blur. The only things I remember from the two hours or so we spent there were as follows: I was introduced to Code Red and Vodka, I ate a piece of pizza, we tried to set up my wife's perpetually single friend with another of our perpetually single friends via text message when said girl wasn't there and had never met the guy who was standing there with a three fingered chew in his cheek. I have no clue how much I drank in those two hours. Then we went back to the bar, where the only thing I know for sure is that I had at least one shot. At some point, we walked three miles (or one) back to Schmock's house. I think I immediately passed out.

And then....I puked. Alot, and without warning. I shouldn't say no warning. I had enough warning to get most of it in the toilet. Then I puked again. This time, I almost didn't make it to the bathroom, but thankfully I did. I have no clue what prompted the vomit. It has been awhile. I didn't miss it. Oh, and I blew all the blood vessels in my face and my eyes are yellow, so I look really, really bad. I got all sorts of stares and comments at work, but nobody came right out and said "What the fuck happened to your face?" Although I know they wanted to. Somehow I didn't fall asleep at my desk, or wind up in a ditch on the way home.

Did I mention that I'm doing this again (less one day) on Saturday night? It is a good thing the bars in Minneapolis close at like 10:45. On a scale of one to ten on levels of excitement, with 10 being most excited. I'm a negative 3. And it is only that high because I haven't seen Richard's sweet, sweet ass in like 6 months. But I've got to do what I've got to do. You are only sort of young once. And at some point I'm sure some kid will come along and ruin the opportunity to be completely retarded. And I've got a contract with Richard signed in blood to get blacked out every time I see him. So there is that.

Gambling and Other Random Shit

Ok, Juice, you've inspired me to contribute.

I haven't updated my gambling addiction in awhile. I think I was up almost $100 the last time we spoke. I think I'm now down about $20 or so. I actually have to bust out a calculator to figure it out because Schmock and Jamie contributed $93 to the overall amount. I still strongly urge anyone (Juice, Twinkie) to give it a try. I am now an official NHL fan. I love it. Yahoo has at least one free game every night and I'm always watching (betting) on it. For the weekend I have the Saints -7, Colts -6.5, Vikings -2.5 and Chargers -7.5. I'm pretty confident given my picks from last week (I lost all 4 games). Keep in mind, it is just as difficult to lose all 4 than it is to win all 4.

Moving on....

I just did a full 2 weeks of normal work hours. By normal I mean getting up at 6am, at work by 7am and in bed by 10pm. It is fucking awful. How can you guys do it? I'm back to my "normal" hours on Sunday.

I just got upset reading Juice's post about snow volleyball. It is simply the best weekend of the year. It never fails. Even last year when we were too lazy to get in at the Alpine, it was still great. No naps, Richard. Richard and his cohorts were sleeping at about 7pm last year. Fucking pussy. The only excuse you can use this year is if you lay Juice's wife's friend....... AGAIN.