Annual "My Wish" Rant

Look. I don't know where anyone got the idea that I hate cancer kids. Because I don't. Their lives are horrible, and nobody should have to go through what they go through, especially at that age. (If you smoke a pack a day despite overwhelming evidence that it is horrible for you and you are probably going to get cancer, then I feel a little less bad for you). I think the fact that ESPN and the Make-a-Wish Foundation and the athletes that volunteer to make wishes come true for cancer kids are great.

But please. Don't put that shit on my fucking T.V. I typically watch parts of three SportsCenters a day. Usually about 15 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, and maybe 15 to 30 minutes at 5. And this entire week, I've managed to turn it on right as some cancer kid is playing outside linebacker for the Raiders, or doing wheelies on 4 wheelers. Regardless of whether that kid could start for the Raiders (he could). I really don't need to see this shit on my T.V. It is completely and totally self-indulgent for ESPN to put this on SportsCenter every day. There is no reason for it. This isn't that different than LeBron dragging the Boys and Girls Club kids into "The Decision". If you want to put it on your station, fine. Have a three hour special, advertise the shit out of it, turn it into some kind of telethon to raise money. But don't waste 75% of my highlight watching time for a week every summer. It just makes me angry. And I hate "THIS ISSSSSS MYYYYYYY WIIIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHH!" The song makes me want to murder someone. It has clearly replaced "This Is Our Country" as the least favorite theme song ever.

You make me watch enough pointless shit already ESPN. This is due to the fact that you are mostly good at what you do. Or you at least have the money to control all sports media. But I would rather watch 20 minutes of rumors about He Who Shall Not Be Named and his fake thinking about his fake injury every day than watch cancer kids suffer. Stop.

Duck Fook

Did I mention I hate Duke? Like alot? Like possibly more than any other sports team, professional or college? It is not a hatred based on a rivalry though. It is a hatred due to class. And a hatred generally based on jealousy. A hate because Duke has had everything that Wisconsin has never had. Duke has a pick of nearly any player they want in the country, every year. Sure, they have to battle North Carolina, Kentucky, Kansas, etc. for those players, but there are plenty to go around. Wisconsin has to do just about everything right, and have just about everything to go their way in order to be a Top 10 team. At one point, it didn't even seem possible that they could ever do it. But, it was shown in a March run in 2000 and in a number one ranking a few years back that it could be done. But if it happens once every 10 years, we are extremely fortunate. Duke is in the position to do it every, single, year. And if it doesn't happen, they are disappointed. The only other team I can compare them to is the Yankees. Unlimited funds to do with however you please, an expectation of championships, crazy room for error. And if it doesn't work, you can just throw more money at the problem. It is something that Wisconsin will probably never have the luxury of. Not that Wisconsin doesn't have lots at its disposal, it is one of the largest collegiate sports programs in the country, and has a great arena and fan base. But it is not a historic power. It will never be Duke. So fuck Duke.

The other problem with Duke is that they are dicks about it. Their players are annoying. Coach K puts on this facade that he is a great human (and he probably mostly is) but then he is on the sidelines reportedly using the worst language anyone has ever heard (which, I fully support, but don't be fake about it). Their fans are annoying rich kids. They are basically everything Wisconsin isn't. So fuck Duke.

This is a matchup that Wisconsin fans have been wishing for for a long time. A chance to get the mighty Blue Devils at the Kohl Center. The problem is, this game is happening at a terrible time for Wisconsin. Bucky does not have the athletes to keep up with Duke. Duke probably has 12 guys that would start for just about any Big Ten team. Wisconsin probably has 4 guys that could play for Duke. The Kam Taylor, Alando Tucker Badgers would have had a good chance at beating Duke. But short of a perfect game, I don't see UW pulling this one out. The Grateful Red will keep this one close. The Badgers have to play their game, which is to slow it down, and get back in transition. If Bucky can make their shots (not an easy task) and keep Duke out of transition (historically impossible), they have a chance. But I think Duke wins by about 15. So fuck Duke.

OTHER STUFF

-Anyone hear the Tiger voicemail? Pretty good stuff. If I wasn't so lazy, I would find audio and link to it.

-Does ESPN have a contract where they are required to show kids dying of cancer every other month. There is nothing I would rather watch less. At least they give sufficient warning, but sometimes I'm in my morning fog and its ten minutes in and they are talking about some kid having his fucking eye amputated before I realize what is happening.