SNOW!!!!

So I would place what has been happening outside since about 5pm last night in the top 5 most insane weather related events I have seen in my lifetime (probably an exaggeration, much like Jay Cutler is a top 5 QB because he has managed not to throw 5 picks in more than three games). It isn't the snow necessarily. While we are supposed to end up with about a foot, it does that at least once a year in Northeast Wisconsin. It is the combination of said snow, along with winds gusting at 55 mph. I fully expect that I will not leave the house today at all. I'm also bracing for it to never stop snowing again.

Not having to leave the house has its advantages. Especially when there is NFL to be watched. I'm not going to have a hard time finding something to do. Apparently some of my neighbors are either bored, or hate the inside of their houses, because one of them was snowblowing his driveway two hours ago, despite the fact that we are still getting an inch of snow an hour, the plow hasn't and won't come through for many hours (probably not until tomorrow morning), and said wind is blowing the snow all over hell. I can report right now that his driveway is covered already. I don't understand the mentality. Why snowblow three times??? It is just completely idiotic. I don't why this bothers me so much. I guess it is that I don't like doing more work than necessary. Especially when it involves standing outside in sub-zero, blizzard conditions. As I type this I can hear another snowblower.

I would have to say the highlight of my day so far is the news that the Metrodome roof has collapsed. My wife and I both cackled with delight. What else could possibly go wrong for that obviously terrible and cursed franchise? It is just awesome to see it all fall apart. This is what happens when you make a deal with the devil. And now the devil is punishing them by destroying their stadium, and giving their 72 year old shitty QB another day to heal up so he can lose another game for them (unfortunately for the Packers I think). That cocksucker He Who Shall Not Be Named had the gall to text Ed Werder last night after he found out they wouldn't play until Monday, that the definitely wouldn't have played on Sunday. Why? So he can look "heroic" and "tough" when he DOES play on Monday. And by the way, there is no fucking way he wasn't playing on Sunday. As much as I'm over Him, He still pulls my hate back in with this fake shit.

Final thought on the Viqueens. I bet they won't have this problem in L.A....

This storm got me wondering. What if there was a game at Lambeau today? Seriously, I don't think that with all of the four wheel drive in the world that I would be able to get to Lambeau right now. The NFL would almost have to postpone the game, it is that bad. I don't think the visiting team would be able to get from their hotel in Appleton. And there would be no way for fans to park because of the snow and the plows or lackthereof. It is so bad that I would have to seriously consider not renting a pack of sled dogs to take me to the game. I would have to consider eating the money paid and not going. It is THAT bad.

Anyway, I stand by my Packers by more than a TD prediction.

Cyberdine Is Just Around the Corner

I just had a revelation of sorts. If computers decided that they were going to become self-aware, and go on strike due to the long hours and shitty pay, humans would be fucked. The computers in my office had to be shut down for like 12 minutes this afternoon, and I felt completely and totally lost. Even though I had some work I probably could have done. I just sat and wondered about the above, complained about not having my task list to stare at, and ate some of the candy I was given as an early present for the anniversary Sports Bottle's God's Son rising from the dead.

But seriously. Even 20 years ago, how did people do ANYTHING at work? By hand? That is crazy. What did people do when they were pretending to work? I think that probably frightens me more than my DVR growing legs and murdering me for making it record PTI every day, and then erasing it without watching it.

I have come to the conclusion that I could not have functioned in the work place prior to 1995. Thankfully, I starting working at Dairy Queen in 1996, so I didn't have to find out. But I didn't need a computer to mix a Blizzard either.

BREW CITY RECAP IN ONE GIGANTIC RAMBLING PARAGRAPH

Went to the wedding. The only person I knew was this insane pot head chick from college, with a penchant for making up ridiculous lies, who I hadn't seen in 7 years that had gained about 60 pounds. I pounded 5 free Miller Lites, and braved the needless 45 minutes where the "bar was closed", which didn't make any sense at all. I then ate the buffet, which was pretty tasty. Sports Bottle picked myself and Mrs. Juice up. We went to a piano bar. Endured poor service and two drinks. Then we went to Milwaukee Ale House where we were duped into a $5.00 cover charge for a shitty classic rock cover charge. I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 pints of microbrew, and we stole a cab. We went back to the hotel, which reminded us all of the Overlook Hotel from The Shining. We put our chicks to bed and closed down the hotel bar after two or three vodka drinks. The bathroom had cloth towels instead of paper towels, and you literally took one or ten, and threw them into a hamper when you were done. It was insane. I face planted in the room, woke up drunk 8 hours later and made Mrs. Juice drive me home. Stopped at Taco Bell on the way home and spent the next 8 hours on the couch at home trying not to die. THE END.

The Wisconsin Cavilers and TreBron Hughes

Took in the UWGB over #14 Wisconsin (now unranked) game last night. This is an odd rivalry game to me because I live in Green Bay, occasionally get to go to some of the Pheonix games, and generally want them to do well. But, Badger basketball is appointment viewing. While I foudnd the upset fascinating, if someone put a gun to my head, I would have been rooting for the bad guys (Badgers).

I'm pretty dismayed by Bucky's performance last night. I have never seen them play a game like that. I shared about an hour worth of texts with my brother about this last night, but I want to reiterate those points for the other two people that care.

First, the defense was asleep. While the Pheonix are pretty athletic, there is no excuse for a Big Ten team to surrender 88 points. Especially when you held Duke to 61. And it wasn't like this was crowd driven. While the crowd was the largest in UWGB history (9,700+) and it was probably pretty loud. I can tell you three things for certain: 1) 75% of the crowd was either completely Badger fans or was on the fence; 2) UWGB crowds have not been at all intimidating since the days of Dick Bennett at the old arena; 3) The student section is abysmal. So it was not being on the road that caused UW to not play any defense whatsoever.

It was also not the crowd that caused UW to employ the Cleveland Cavilers offense, or for Bo Ryan to turn into Mike Brown. That is, Trevon Hughes going one on five, and everyone else standing around while he drives to the hoop and either scores or hopes to get fouled or he dribbles around and takes an ill-advised three. Trevon is their best player, but he is much better when he gets others invovled, and certainly not good enough to take every shot. I've never seen less passing in a Wisconsin basketball game. UW had the best three to four players on the court at all times. They also had a size advantage at nearly all positions. And they did nothing about it. The game was just mind boggling.

Was it the snow? Maybe, but its not as if UWGB was sitting on a beach until right before the game. UW was in town well before the storm hit. They just didn't show up and were completely unprepared. As I told my brother, UW has a game like this every year (see: SDSU loss, Long Beach three pointer at the buzzer at home, Missouri St. loss). They are probably closer to the Duke game than the UWGB game. And maybe UWGB is really good. I guess we'll find out when they play Butler twice.

"Once In a Decade Storm"

We got somewhere in the neighborhood of 9 inches of snow last night. We are going to get another 5 or so today. The governor declared a state of emergency. The National Weather Service said the storm is one with "Intensity that we normally see once or twice a decade". I drove 20 miles to work.

I want to recap my office situation as we speak. I am one of 8 full time people that work here. 5 of those people live within 2 miles of the office. My bosses all live less than 5 miles away. Three of them live within a half mile. Besides me, the other people live 5 and 12 miles away respectively. This was a long way to say that I by far live the furthest away. Standard procedure is that we are supposed to be here by 7:30. Some (one person) sometimes comes in earlier. A few of the bosses show up whenever the fuck they feel like it. But typically at least half the office is here by 7:30. Did I mention that I live the furthest away? And that I'm THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON HERE????? Did anyone call me to tell me we wouldn't be open today??? Fuck no they didn't. Yet I guess everyone else got the memo. When discussing the storm before I left last night I was given the old "Well, just be careful. If you feel like you can't make it, don't kill yourself." TRANSLATION: "You are out of vacation, so you better fucking show up so that we can grossly underpay you."

I'm really unhappy.

The only bright spot about being here is that the dish was fucked up at home and we have no TV. So my wife is snowed in with no TV. I am going to be cleaning up body parts later. She does not do well minus TV. The DVR is functional, so I suppose I could have caught up on some of the 40 hours of shit I've got sitting on there.