Would You?

Since I am unoriginal, I am stealing another topic from local sports talk radio. I felt it was interesting. Would you mortgage the future and trade Gamel, Escobar and Parra or some combination of one or two of them, to get Roy Halladay or Cliff Lee for basically a half year or year and a half?

In order for this to make any sense, you have to assume that the player in question would waive a no-trade clause (not sure if Lee has one), and would stay through the end of the contract. Halladay has a year left (although there is some sort of CBA mumbo jumbo that may let him out) and there is a club option on Lee for next year. So let's just assume you get a year and a half from both.

Right now the Crew is in 4th in the Central, but is only 2 games out. And 7th in the Wild Card, 4 games out. So they are still in the thick of things. This is an extremely complex question to answer, and I'm going to do a shitty job of giving my opinion.

If you could guarantee me a playoff birth, I think they should do it, as long as Parra isn't involved.

The team has been to the playoffs once in 26 years. Other than Braun and Yo. I don't think anyone is guaranteed to be around much longer than next year. As weird as it sounds, the window is quickly closing, at least while it can be done relatively cheaply.

I certainly don't think it is a guarantee that Prince will be gone, but at the same time, you have to wonder how much the Crew would be willing to spend on a good to great hitter, and how much time they would give him. If Escobar goes, I wouldn't be opposed to signing J.J. long term, even though he has his limitations, I don't think he would be that expensive. Gamel might be hard to replace. Hart is the only other young guy, and he can fucking go.

We have no decent young pitching besides Yo and potentially Parra. If we let Parra go, I think it is a deal breaker. He has all the talent in the world, he is young, and he is under our control for four more years. Maybe he never puts it together, but he has shown flashes that would lead me to believe he could be great.

So the bottom line is that I think this year and next are our best chances to get to the playoffs, and while we may not be fucked afterwards, inevitably there will be some type of transition due to money constraints that face the Crew. Small market teams only get a few years to put it together before they have to rebuild from within. Some teams can put it all together (see Florida), while some get close (see Oakland and Minnesota). If Escobar and Gamel were that good, and so indispensable, they would be starting right now. And we have to hang onto any young pitching we have. I would rather have Halladay than Lee.

Feel free to tell me what a moron I am.

Chris Duncan is the most awkward professional baseball player ever...

Seriously, it's like watching me play baseball, this guy has zero coordination. Also Yadier Molina looks like he's just a fucking asshole. There's just something about him, who knows, he might be the nicest guy in the world, but he just gives me that premonition. Here he is laughing at a baby falling down a flight of stairs.

But enough trash talking, the Crew narrowly avoided a 3rd bases loaded, inning ending strikeout tonight when my boy Prince hustled his huge ass down the line and get an infield hit for the game winning RBI. Hoffman pitched the bases loaded and then Gamel damn near gave me a heart attack when Molina sliced that ball down third, but Mat fielded it perfectly and strolled over to third for the win. We needed this one big time, if we can get a W tomorrow we'll be back to tied for the NL Central lead.

I have complete and utter confidence that Manny Parra has figured it out from his 4 starts down in Nashville.

Oh yea, almost forgot, Shaq is obsessed with your mom comebacks. He's truly a man after my own heart.

Nashville Is Nice This Time Of Year

My brother has demanded that I write a Manny Parra post. So I will sort of. It is about time something has been done, and I'm glad it was done. I continue to be impressed with the attitude management has with non-performance. I can't help but think that Ken Macha has alot to do with this, because obviously the attitude is alot different that when Neddy was managing. I'm convinced Manny would have been given another chance or three to "pitch out of it" under Neddy. I'm curious what is going to happen with the rotation. I guess there are enough off days built in for the next few weeks that we don't need that fifth starter. I would presume McClung will be stuck in there, although I think one or two of the randoms just called up are starters too. I think Manny has the tools to be a really good pitcher, but think his head is fucked up. Hopefully this will fix it because we need a decent lefty starter.

I watched Manny's destruction from the emergency room yesterday. I had been experiencing slurred speech of the non-alcohol variety for about a week, and finally it got so bad that my wife couldn't understand me, and co-workers were giving me strange looks. A call to urgent care told us to get our asses to the hospital. According to the doomsday website that is WebMD, I was certainly on death's door. Having either a stroke or a brain tumor. Luckily is wasn't either one, it was some kind of random malady that should go away with time. The nerves in my face are inflamed, which gives some symptoms of a stroke, but should work itself out. No known cause or cure for this shit, so I have to continue to sound like a moron.

In other news, I am now one of those dickheads with a Blackberry. All in all it is pretty goddamn cool. It isn't quite an iPhone, but as I stated, I'll be damned if I'm paying for less than optimal performance due to lack of a 3G AT&T network in GB, so I'll make due. I'm pretty excited to sit at my wife's grandparents anniversary party and check the Brewer game constantly. Fully expect to see a photo of my dick show up in your inbox.

Parra Es Muy Sucky

The one thing about a 10-1 beating is that it gives me something to write about. It is alot harder to think of something to write when the team is winning. Because you can only say "They are awesome" in so many ways. Alot of funny-ish things happened last night, and this is all in the two innings I actually watched.

- If the Brewers get crushed 10-1, but nobody is there to see it, did it really happen. There were literally less than 1,000 people at that game last night in Florida. Fucking embarrassing for them. It has got to be awkward for the Brewers to go from three straight 40,000 plus, drunken, raucous sell outs, to playing a game in front of groupies and player's parents.

-Did Jorge Julio kidnap Manny Parra, put on his jersey, and start last night? Holy shit was he bad. When he wasn't bouncing pitches ten feet in front of the plate, he was grooving fastballs right down the middle. My favorite part about last night's game was Macha storming out to the mound (and I use that term loosely because he is always fairly relaxed), and waiving off Kendall so he could bitch at Parra for sucking. I don't think I'd ever seen that before. My theory is that he was going to use racial slurs, or threaten his family and didn't want anyone to hear. Bill Schroeder said, "I don't think he wants any witnesses."

-But why did the Brewers just basically give up in the 3rd inning? By the time it got to 4-1, it was clear that Parra didn't have anything. It is interesting though, and probably the hardest part of being a manager. The bullpen was sort of toast, so you either overwork them some more, try to keep it close, and hope to come back. Or you leave your starter out there to be demoralized and mail in the next six innings. Which is what Macha chose. Ultimately, it might have been the proper move, but giving up 10 runs in 4 innings isn't going to help Parra's confidence. By the 4th, Schroeder and Anderson were openly talking about either getting drunk or banging chicks on South Beach. It was all in code, unlike Ueck who would've just said it.

- How much longer before Parra comes down with a mystery injury? Is skipped in the rotation? Is sent down? Problem is the lack of other options. DiFelice could start, but his elbow is not doing so hot. I guess Dillard is tearing up AAA. We probably need a lefty in the rotation, but the only one I can think of is GASP Cappy, but I don't think he's throwing in real games yet. Conundrum.

The Fat Man and The Old Man

Brett Favre and Prince Fielder. Apparently Brett's gone to Tampa Bay Your New York Jets!, they just got done working out a preliminary trade agreement this afternoon and he's out the door. Well, whatever I'll ignore that for now until something actually gets settled, so many people justifying their sports writer paychecks right now by reporting non stop on just 100% pure speculation bullshit.

On to the fat man. Did I not warn everyone I know at the beginning of this season that he was a fat piece of shit and a cancer? In fact that's his new nickname, Fatty Tumor. Here are some gems from Prince's media announcement today.

I've been playing with Manny since rookie ball. It's not like we hate each other. At least, I don't.

So this dumbass doesn't even know if a guy he's been playing with for over 4 years hates him? I can usually tell if someone hates me when I walk into a room.

No one will reveal the exact details but word has it that Fielder didn't like that Parra was headed to the clubhouse without staying on the bench to watch the top of the inning, especially after just surrendering six runs.

So Parra's upset about giving up six runs in an inning? Give him some fucking breating room. No one questions Prince's fat ass when he swears off meat, or stops paying his taxes, or misses every fucking ground ball that is hit more than 3 feet away from him on either side, much like what happened for a 2 run RBI single in the inning that Parra just gave up six runs.

Fielder said he had yet to sit down and talk with Parra about the altercation but indicated he planned to do so.

Wait, so you are giving a media interview about this altercation and you haven't sat down and talked to your own teammate about it? That's fucked up in my opinion. Take care of your shit internally first, then give the media their story after.

Now for Yost's drug induced coma of an interview.

Asked what would warrant removing a player from the lineup, Yost said, "non-hustle, being late, disrespecting the game in terms of hot dogging, no hustling, those types of things."

Apparently Yost is not a fan of his players not hustling.

"That one thing doesn't hurt his image. It was a mistake on both sides, one that I think both of them regret.

How the fuck was this Manny Parra's mistake? He got fucking shoved to the ground and almost sat on by a 320 pound tumor.

Oh well, none of this surprises me, I don't know if I can hate him anymore than I already did, however this is just one more thing to use in any discussion about why his new nickname is Fatty Tumor and why we should be shopping him for as much as we can get in the next season or two.

Rubber Match Bitches

Fuck, I feel like I've been gone for a month. Alot to catch up on.

-Vacation was pretty successful. It is one giant tourist trap though. The prices of everything in Door County are jacked up about 20%. But it was relaxing, good weather, nice scenery, good food, etc. FIB count ended up at 13. If you hear about a few washing up on the shore of Green Bay with a Benz hood ornament up their asses, you know who to call.

-NBA Draft: I didn't hate the Joe Alexander pick, the Bucks can always use another white guy. Not your average white guy in that he seems to have some quicks. Although it seemed a bit like he didn't start playing until March. I had really never heard his name until the tournament. Whatever. LOVED what the T-Wolves did by trading for the even bigger/slower K-Love. He is going to move in with Kevin McHale and they are going to make tall/slow/white children together. (Twisting knife). However, I absolutely HATED what the Bucks did after the draft. They traded Bobby Simmons and Yi for Richard Jefferson. Look, Bobby Simmons sucks dick, and basically his contract was a throw in here. But the Bucks gave up on a top 10 pick after one year, and on the millions they stood to gain from China. Jefferson is a pretty good player, but not someone that jumps out as being great. And he's another jumpshooter going to a team full of jumpshooters. I just don't like the deal at all. Maybe Yi sucks and it will work out, I'm not an NBA expert. In fact, I don't even really like the NBA, so I don't know why I'm even stressing about it.

-Border War III. It is awkward going on vacation during this series. I didn't really have cell service, and I shut my phone off more than normal. Both days I had multiple text messages and voice mails both nights so far. I did manage to watch most of the first game (fucking Mota) and the beginning and end last night (have you heard of Parra now fuckface?). Sheets will win today.

-I got official word today that I have four tickets to the November 30th Green Bay Packer v. Carolina Panther game via the lottery. Let the games begin to see who earns the right to come with me and the wife.

How Ned Yost chooses his lineup for games...

I pulled this little tidbit directly from the Yahoo Sports news and notes about Bill Hall.

"3B Bill Hall was out of the starting lineup Sunday despite collecting five hits in the previous two games. Manager Ned Yost wanted to give either Hall or 2B Rickie Weeks the day off to let INF Craig Counsell see some action. Yost put the names of Hall and Weeks in a baseball cap and had Hall pick to see who would be out of the lineup. Hall picked his own name, and thus had to sit."

I haven't been too bad of a Yost basher in the past, I've questioned some of his decisions, especially concerning how he manages our starting pitching. The frightening part of this whole scenario is that I'm not even really surprised that this is how he made his decision. Instead of going through his lineup and making a rational decision based on recent stats, who they were going up against and who needed a day off, he just chose to randomly pick a name out of a hat.

Maybe this wasn't the worst way to handle the situation, basically taking away some of the potential backlash from the players who might have to miss a start. At some point however, you are the manager and they are the players, if a player is struggling on the field, shouldn't they understand if they have to sit a day because of it? I wonder how Yost decided which starting pitcher he was going to option down to Nashville, arm wrestling tournament between Manny Parra, Carlos Villanueva, and Dave Bush?

Maybe instead of having his throwing mechanics mucked around with during spring training, Yost should have been having Bush practice his arm wrestling technique to keep his spot in the rotation.