Getting a Running Start....

I am finally recovered enough from my weekend that I can at least form coherent thoughts. I would be thrilled to recap the weekend for you, however a) I don't remember much, b) I have been asked by certain other parties not to reveal certain weekend themes and c) Some of the shit that was discussed was inappropriate enough that I am uncomfortable putting it down on "paper".

For instance, I think it is safe to say that the theme/quote of the weekend was "Getting a Running Start". However, I am not in a position to explain where that came from because it could cause some embarrassment.

Overall, we had a great time, got SUPER fucked up, ate a whole bunch of shit that is bad for us, and the weekend was pretty much one great big gay joke.

BREW CREW HANGOVER

Holy shit, the Brewers might never lose again. And Rickie Weeks got severely injured a year too late.

If I was the Brewers, here is what I would do: This injury gives them a golden opportunity/excuse to call up Escobar and to give him a look at either short or 2B to see if he really is too good to not use. The same is true with Gamel, who is already up, and whose haircut hit a homer last night. It is a golden opportunity, because there is some excess playing time available, and it can be done with very little hurt feelings. Gamel can get into a platoonish thing with Hall/Counsell/Hardy? at 3B, Escobar with Hardy/Counsell/Hall at SS and Hardy/Counsell/Hall at 2B. You could also think about spot starting Gamel at 1B or outfield if his bat is that good. Right now, you have the opportunity to play both Gamel and Escobar a few times a week under those scenarios, and get them some experience. Then, if they are too good to sit, you can try to trade Hall (fucking impossible), Hardy (unlikely) or Fielder (even more unlikely) for some pitching down the stretch. Or, if they are too young or to bad, you can trade one of the prospects, or send them down for more seasoning. I have a hard time believing weeks was going to hit 50 HRs and hit .275, so I don't feel like we've lost that much in the long run.

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED

Are we fucking serious right now? Really? Here is the timeline yesterday:

8 a.m.: He is definitely not coming back and this is all total bullshit (via Bus Cook, through Hattiesberg newspaper)

12 p.m.: He is having surgery Tuesday with Dr. James Andrews and is definitely playing this year for the Vikings barring some unforeseen complication. (via St. Paul newspaper)

5 p.m.: He is not having any kind of surgery ever, he is going to try to rehab, and if all works out he is definitely playing for the Vikings this year, and he has never heard of Dr. James Andrews. (via Eddie Werder).

8 p.m.: He eats a small child.

In 12 hours, that is THREE COMPLETELY OPPOSITE STORIES!!!!! How are people not getting fired over this???? We can't believe ANYTHING, ANY news organization says EVER. This is unfuckingbelievable.

-I'm probably going to fake live blog a Brewer/Twin game either Friday or Saturday because I'm fucking bored and lonely.

PS. The Twins suck my nutsack.

The Weeks Watch is ON!

C'mon Neddy. Really? I mean, even Bear's boy Hardicourt couldn't come up with anything good to say about Weeks, and he sucks whomever's dick the manager and GM tell him to. An average of .216 is horrible for any regular starter, much less the fucking leadoff guy. And it is late July now. It would be hard for Neddy to claim he is suddenly going to turn things around. You gotta think in the very near future that Neddy is going to start feeling pressure to leave Ray Durham in after he gets two or three hits the first few times he plays. My favorite comment from Yost: "For me, he has never underachieved because he never achieved up here. How can you say he has underachieved?" I mean, that is classic Neddy. Just a dick whenever he wants to be. Contradicting himself at every turn. First getting offended at the mere notion that he would take out long dong Weeks, and then saying he has been a piece of shit for the last three years to claim he isn't an underachiever. Whatever. From now on I am going to waste time chronicling how shitty Weeks is compared to Durham, until I get lazy and forget about it.

We are mere minutes away from a HUGE series in fucking July for the Crew. Gotta believe they are guaranteed to win at least one of the CC (I can't call him BF anymore, he is too good) Big Ben back-to-back, meaning they really only need one of the first two to declare the series a moderate success. I would be happy with a road split, although a series win would be as gigantic as it could be in July.

Things You Should Pay Somone Else To Do

- The wife and I spent 14 hours on Friday and Saturday landscaping around our house. We only almost got divorced once. If I had known then, what I know now, I can guarantee you I would have found a way to pay someone else to do it. Two days later, I am having a hell of a time typing because my hands hurt so bad from hand digging the trench around my house to put in the edging. I also realize that they have tools that one could have used to do this, but I was trying to do it as cheaply as possible. I'm just sayin' pay someone.

- The Brewers may want to pay someone to manage their baseball team as well. I hypothesized before they left for Pittsburgh that if they didn't win at least 4 games on the roadie, Neddy should be toast. Today seems to be the big day. Seven games against perennial bottom-feeders. If you are supposed to be a playoff contender, you should be able to win 4 of 7, if you are playing on the fucking moon. The inconsistencies haven't been fixed. The ginger appears to be our second best pitcher. Yesterday, Neddy trotted out FOUR bench players on the same day. Billy Rob Deer Hall finds himself in a platoon because he has come down with Geoff Jenkins syndrome (can't hit same handed pitching at all, destroys opposite hand pitching). The players haven't performed, people are starting to get injured. I understand all or even most of this isn't Neddy's fault, but I think the players need a) a new voice, b) to understand that there will be repercussions for playing like shit. Neddy has a leash that is way too long and he is too stubborn and defensive to get it done. Maybe they will be worse off with a new manager. Then Melvin and the players can go next. But if anyone in the organization believes this group can win now, then a change should be made soon.

-Weeks Watch (last 3 games): 2-10, BB, 5K (Season: .207/.706)

-The Rob Deer Watch is over. Platoon players aren't going to lead the team in K's

-7% chance for playoffs

- Once again, starting a new job tomorrow. I am completely unsure what their Internet policies are. My old job had none. This new job is so different from what I was doing before it is going to be like the Brewers deciding tomorrow to convert Gabe Kapler into a starting pitcher. Which at this rate might happen next week anyway.

That's More Like It & Quote of the Day

First off, the quote: A major league scout told Jayson Stark regarding Prince Fielder: "This guy is so big now, he jiggles. He's enormous. Hey, he's a great hitter. But he's huge."



Now THAT is the Brewer team we all know and love. No starting pitching, and going 2-11 with RISP and leaving 14 on base.



-Weeks Watch: 1-3, HR, 2BB, Season: .208/.709, I am almost ready to get off his ass.



-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 3-5, 1K, Season: 9HR (2nd), 48K (1st by 8)

Quick Brewer Post

-Weeks Watch: 2-5, K, 2R, HR, RBI, SB, 16 Total Pitches (Season: .206/.686) Is he turning the corner?

-ALLEGEDLY, Gagne is injured. Blessing in disguise? I feel that maybe even if one of these lower level guys was given the title of "closer" while Gagne was healthy, they would always be looking over their shoulder because there is a $10M dude sitting behind them that the GM obviously wants to be the guy. It is going to take pressure off them.

-Ryan Braun is spectacular. Big Ben is huge.

-Playoff chances are up to 9%

Who is Seth McClung?

Rather than rehash the entire game from last night's beautiful Brewer win, I thought I would take the opportunity to meet the 6'6" 270 lb. mountain of a man that is Seth McClung.

But first few observations from last night:

-I'm sure someone intelligent will explain this to me, but why did McClung pitch 1 1/3 innings four days before he was going to start?

-Eric Gagne was Eric Gagne last night.

-Weeks Watch: 2-4, K, HBP!, 2R Season: .200 BA, .665 OPS, 734HBP

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall Update: 2-3, 0HR, 1K Season: .207BA, 9 HR (second), 47K (1st by 9)

-Good win, Yost is safe for another day. But, As The Wolf would say: "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

OK, back to the matter at hand. I think putting in McClung isn't a bad move. Carlos has struggled, and McClung gives the Crew a true power pitcher (has thrown in triple digits). He really has generally been very good so far (1-1, 3.54 ERA, 20K in 20 1/3IP, 1.37 WHIP). I guess they really had nothing to lose. So who is he? A few facts about our new starter:

1) It is fitting that he be called a "mountain man" because he is from West Virginia.

2) He is a ginger kid.

3) Career Stats: 18-26, 5.97 ERA, 1.61WHIP, 207K in 283IP, started 37 times for TB

4) He's 27 years old.

5) He eats small children and shits diamonds.

What I was most intrigued by was his ginger status. I wanted to find out the likelihood of him being any good based solely on his red hair. Very quick research located the following MLB "stars" with red hair: Wade Boggs, Mark McGuire (sort of), Rick Sutcliffe. That's the list that I could find in five minutes. If he is as good as Sutcliffe, I'll take it. Clearly he is destined for the hall of fame.

Ladies and Gentelmen, Your Last Place Milwaukee Brewers!

A lot to catch up on as I was drinking myself into a coma over the weekend. I caught the game online on Thursday, the first game of the DH on Saturday and the Sunday game. My first thought while watching the Red Sox series is that is seemed like Milwaukee was playing a different game than Boston. As if we were a AAA team vs. their major leaguers. The level of talent is obscenely different. They are A LOT better than we are, and I guess I'm a bit surprised by that. Truthfully, Braun was the only one that could probably crack that lineup right now. He is on a tear that may be unlike any that any Brewer player has ever been on right now, and the Brewers have very few wins to show for it. The biggest thing with Boston is that every guy in their lineup was a danger to hit one out, regardless of the count. And that ballpark turns routine flyouts into HR's. Milwaukee's pitchers had no answer whatsoever. Very disappointing that we lose a game with our ace on Thursday, then lay an egg over the weekend. And now we are battling Pittsburgh and Cincinnati to hopefully get out of last. I am going to try to look this up at some point today, but I'm willing to bet that there aren't a lot of teams that are in last place on May 19th that end up making the playoffs. I sincerely hope that if the Crew doesn't manage to take 4 of 6 from the Pirates and Nats this weekend that Yost comes back to Milwaukee to find his shit in a box, and the locks changed. There is no excuse right now for them to be as bad as they are, and they clearly need a new voice even if you can excuse all of his decisions. The players have to make plays, obviously, but we don't have anyone to replace the players with, and he is in a gots to go situation. This is no longer about losing close games because the closer sucks (which he does).

-Weeks Watch (4 games): 3-13, 2R, 5BB, 4K, 2CS, 2RBI (Season: .193BA, .654OPS) Fairly poor as usual, but got on base 8 times in four games, not too bad I guess.

-Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 3-12, 3K, 0 HR (Season: .199 BA, 9HR (2nd on team), 46K (1st on team by 10))

-There is going to be a Mike Cameron update in about two weeks. His honeymoon period is about over.

Well, There Goes That Theory

Tough one last night. Parra pitches probably the best game of his career. Gives up two of his three runs on a booted easy out at first, a near miss of a diving catch, and an infield single. Then Mota does his best Gagne impression and the Crew loses. That makes "The Committee" 2-1 and Gagne 11-7. I don't know what was up with Mota but he didn't seem mentally tough enough last night for some reason. Here is where I put some blame on Yost: Why no quick hook? When it appeared he didn't have it after the walk and the single, why not bring in McClung or Stetter? Why let Mota give up 3 runs? I know there wasn't really many options left, but when you could win a game, and it is clear that the first guy from your committee isn't working, why leave him there?

Anyways, here is a comparison of Mota and Gagne as I see it:

Mota

Gagne


I don't think that got me anywhere.

The Weeks Watch (Mike Cameron Edition!!!): My man Rickie had a much needed night off, not getting on base is tiring! Season: .190 BA, .651 OPS, 5HR, 13RBI, 7SB. So Mike Cameron (he really is a good center fielder!) stepped into the leadoff role. This makes complete sense to me. We should obviously put whoever has the worst batting average on the team in the leadoff spot. Last night: 0-4, 3K, GIDP, Season Totals: .190BA, .645 OPS. Cameron is actually worse than Weeks. Although, to be fair, Cameron has only been playing about three weeks, so he should be given a little leeway....but NOT be batting leadoff.

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: 0-4, 3K, 0HR Season: .195 BA, .684 OPS, 9HR (tied for team lead), 43K (leads team by 10)

I refuse to get off of these guys until they consistently bat over .200. I don't think that is a lot to ask of them.

Looking forward to three hours watching red and blue streaks go across my computer screen as I take in the GameCenter from MLB.com while sitting at work doing nothing today. I thought about "live blogging" it but live blogging a game where you can't see or hear what is happening wouldn't be real interesting. Big Ben goes today. Should give the Crew a legit shot.

I may or may not put anything up until Monday morning depending on whether I have time tomorrow or am not dying on Sunday due to Shit in my eye.

Rickie Weeks Hates Eric Gagne

Look. I don't know what Neddy was thinking last night. But I survived the heart attack and vomiting episode I had in the bottom of the 8th/top of 9th to have an opinion. I guess you can be benched and then just say "I'm ready to have my job back.", and it just magically falls into your lap. I plan to lose my job by punching my boss in the face, and then going back the next day and saying I'm ready to go, and get it back. I guess there are no consequences to anyone. No accountability. Especially if you make $10 million a year. So Gagne comes in, fills the bases with runners yet again, but gets the save to go to 11-7 in these situations, while "The Committee" remains 2-0.

The funny thing I took from the game is how my favorite player Weeks nearly cost Gagne another game by screwing up a routine double play. He has done this at least one other time too. Weeks has been very good in the field until the 9th all season. I think it is safe to say that Weeks hates Canadians.

My platonic boyfriend Ryan Braun continues to stay mental at the plate.

Weeks Watch: 1-4, 11 total pitches, 1 R, 1K, 1SB, E (Season Total: .190, .651 OPS, 7 SB)

Billy "Rob Deer" Hall: hit his 9th HR (1-4 and only struck out once!) (I stole that reference from my brother, and I think it is a fairly clever one)

Actual Text I received last night from a police officer friend of mine: "I am going to use excessive force on someone tonight if Gagne blows this" Truly one of Wisconsin's finest.

2 days 'til Shit In My Eye