A few quickies before I get into the point of the post. That hockey game Sunday was pretty epic. Canada is ALOT better than we (the U.S.A.) are. It seemed like Canada played half the game with 7 guys on the ice. There were long stretches where we were helpless to get the puck out of our own end. Looking at the bracket, the win was gigantic and probably nearly guarantees us a medal. We get a shit team in the quarters. So we only need to win one out of the last two to get a medal. And either Canada or Russia will be out by that point. The Swedes and Fins look pretty fucking tough though. Also, nobody that wasn't a pretty big "normal" sports fan saw the game because it was buried on fucking MSNBC. And PLEASE stop comparing it to the Miracle on Ice. Those were college and high school players playing against pros. These are pros playing against pros. It is not the same.
THE CALENDAR
I'm putting together a drinking calendar. Hoping to mesh this with everyone else's drinking calendars to orchestrate and maximize our fun. Or at least what we remember of it.
FEBRUARY
27th: Being forced to go to an indoor waterpark in fucking Waupaca, WI with the in-laws. I'm going to get retarded.
MARCH
27th: Some selfish bitch scheduled her wedding this weekend in Milwaukee. Which, I might add is also NCAA time. Sports Bottle, would you be interested in some sort of get together that weekend (pretty sure I have the right one). You may also know the person that is getting married. Mrs. Juice was unaware the future spouse existed until we got a save the date.
APRIL
-The post tax day party (in my pants)
-Possible La Crosse trip?
-Possible Brewer trip? (Semi-unlikely)
MAY
14th: Shit in My Eye
22nd: Twins v. Brewers in Minnesota
26-30: San Diego vacation, where I will sneak off to Tijuana in the middle of the night to see a donkey show and get stabbed
JUNE
-Possible Brewer trip?
JULY
-Possible Brewer trip?
AUGUST
-Possible Brewer trip?
-OJSFA Draft
-Possible Packer game?
SEPTEMBER
-Possible Packer game?
-Possible Brewer trip?
-Oktoberfest
OCTOBER
-Possible Packer game?
NOVEMBER
-Thanksgiving
-Possible Packer game?
DECEMBER
-Sports Bottle's God's son's birthday
-Possible Packer game?
That is obviously a very rough draft. Things always come up. Please inform me if I'm missing anything obvious. Right now May is looking like a pretty good month.
Showing posts with label Winter Olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Winter Olympics. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Afternoon Bottle
I have mixed feelings about the Tiger Woods "press conference." I tend to agree with Bill Simmons' opinion and I've made no secret about how I feel about public apologies, but for those who don't know, public apologies are complete bullshit. Tiger Woods is NOT sorry. How do I know this? Because he'd probably be boning Juice's wife, or my girlfriend, or Richard by now. Someone who's sorry doesn't call one of his SEVERAL mistresses on Thanksgiving and tell her to erase his name from her cell phone and also inform her Elin is checking his phone. This is not a situation where he's sorry for chucking his dick all over the place. He's sorry he got caught. Plain and simple. Move on, Elin.
I watched a Dateline type show the other night about Tiger's secret life. It had an in-depth interview with one of his skanks, and she really did look like a skank, but I'm not here to judge. She's probably a wonderful person. After seeing this program I got a slightly different view of the situation. Tiger wasn't roaming the countryside fucking everyone he saw. He was actually involved in actual relationships with a lot of these women. They were falling in love with him. These weren't one night stands. And from what I understand he wasn't spending a whole lot of money on these women which leads me to one conclusion. Tiger must have a monster crank.
I don't get to see much of the Olympics but I have seen a large amount of curling, and, curling is awesome. I even bet $5 on the USA and they lost because a dude choked on the last throw, which eventually happened in 4 straight matches making the USA 0-4. Hockey is still great too.
AN INVITE (of sorts)
Richard and I are planning on possibly spending a romantic weekend in La Crosse together on the weekend of March 5th. Would anyone be interested in joining us, Juice and Schmock? Bring wives, I don't care. My significant other is not going at this point due to work issues, but if Mrs Juice and Mrs Schmock would go she might try to get off work. Basically, I've missed the last two Saturday all day drinking days in La Crosse (Oktoberfest and snow volleyball). I would like to make up for it.
I watched a Dateline type show the other night about Tiger's secret life. It had an in-depth interview with one of his skanks, and she really did look like a skank, but I'm not here to judge. She's probably a wonderful person. After seeing this program I got a slightly different view of the situation. Tiger wasn't roaming the countryside fucking everyone he saw. He was actually involved in actual relationships with a lot of these women. They were falling in love with him. These weren't one night stands. And from what I understand he wasn't spending a whole lot of money on these women which leads me to one conclusion. Tiger must have a monster crank.
I don't get to see much of the Olympics but I have seen a large amount of curling, and, curling is awesome. I even bet $5 on the USA and they lost because a dude choked on the last throw, which eventually happened in 4 straight matches making the USA 0-4. Hockey is still great too.
AN INVITE (of sorts)
Richard and I are planning on possibly spending a romantic weekend in La Crosse together on the weekend of March 5th. Would anyone be interested in joining us, Juice and Schmock? Bring wives, I don't care. My significant other is not going at this point due to work issues, but if Mrs Juice and Mrs Schmock would go she might try to get off work. Basically, I've missed the last two Saturday all day drinking days in La Crosse (Oktoberfest and snow volleyball). I would like to make up for it.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Gold Medal Juice
A few thoughts on the Olympics so far...
-My vote for the most entertaining winter Olympic sport has to be short track speed skating. It is fucking riveting. At any second, someone can randomly wipe out, taking a bunch of other dudes with him. And watching Apollo Ohno race is fascinating. It seems like he isn't even trying, and then will just pass everyone from the back when he feels like it.
-The women's downhill was awesome too. And it was awesome because three chicks fell in the most horrendous way possible. I am no doctor, but I'm not exactly sure how they didn't die. One of the women fell, was sliding face first at what looked like 50 mph, then hit a bump and went flying in the air about 20 feet, and smashed her head on the hill when she came down, before sliding lifelessly another 500 or so feet. It was unreal. For all the concern about concussions when football players bounce their head off the turf, I bet there are a shitload of downhill skiers that have a hard time dressing themselves when they are 30. I'm too lazy to find the crashes (and I'm sure NBC won't let anyone post them anyplace) but they are riveting and you should check them out.
In the end, Lindsey Vonn won. And she was fucking annoying as shit about it. They had her miked up or something afterwards and you could hear her making some awful noise that I can best describe as moaning, for like 10 minutes afterwards. I imagine it is the same noise you would make if you watched your dog get run over by an 18 wheeler. That, and she has a really, really annoying voice. And her husband (I think) and her were having some kind of intimate moment with the mic between them, and it was 1) awkward and 2) sort of fake and creepy. I hope I never converse with my wife that way. She has every right to be happy and emotional, I would just prefer to watch it on mute from now on.
-Shaun White is unfuckingbelievable. It is too bad there aren't like 10 different half pipe snowboarding events, because he would win 10 gold medals. The event was like watching Michael Jordan play basketball against high schoolers. I don't understand the tricks or snowboarding stuff at all, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was better than everyone else it was insane. And he is both entertaining and seems like a genuinely cool guy.
-Finally, America will never be truly equal until it is no longer bizarre or unusual to see a black speed skater, figure skater or swimmer. Or a white basketball player. Shani Davis is good.
-My vote for the most entertaining winter Olympic sport has to be short track speed skating. It is fucking riveting. At any second, someone can randomly wipe out, taking a bunch of other dudes with him. And watching Apollo Ohno race is fascinating. It seems like he isn't even trying, and then will just pass everyone from the back when he feels like it.
-The women's downhill was awesome too. And it was awesome because three chicks fell in the most horrendous way possible. I am no doctor, but I'm not exactly sure how they didn't die. One of the women fell, was sliding face first at what looked like 50 mph, then hit a bump and went flying in the air about 20 feet, and smashed her head on the hill when she came down, before sliding lifelessly another 500 or so feet. It was unreal. For all the concern about concussions when football players bounce their head off the turf, I bet there are a shitload of downhill skiers that have a hard time dressing themselves when they are 30. I'm too lazy to find the crashes (and I'm sure NBC won't let anyone post them anyplace) but they are riveting and you should check them out.
In the end, Lindsey Vonn won. And she was fucking annoying as shit about it. They had her miked up or something afterwards and you could hear her making some awful noise that I can best describe as moaning, for like 10 minutes afterwards. I imagine it is the same noise you would make if you watched your dog get run over by an 18 wheeler. That, and she has a really, really annoying voice. And her husband (I think) and her were having some kind of intimate moment with the mic between them, and it was 1) awkward and 2) sort of fake and creepy. I hope I never converse with my wife that way. She has every right to be happy and emotional, I would just prefer to watch it on mute from now on.
-Shaun White is unfuckingbelievable. It is too bad there aren't like 10 different half pipe snowboarding events, because he would win 10 gold medals. The event was like watching Michael Jordan play basketball against high schoolers. I don't understand the tricks or snowboarding stuff at all, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was better than everyone else it was insane. And he is both entertaining and seems like a genuinely cool guy.
-Finally, America will never be truly equal until it is no longer bizarre or unusual to see a black speed skater, figure skater or swimmer. Or a white basketball player. Shani Davis is good.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
2/16 Morning Juice
-Interesting-ish week in sports. We've got three USA hockey games (Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday), two Badger basketball games (Thursday at Minnesota, Sunday at home v. Northwestern) and I'm sure Creighton probably plays (they are frustrating as shit and I feel I'm becoming bandwagon because I haven't followed all that close, and they are easy to ignore when they are average, P.S. they play nationally popular Northern Iowa tonight). Also, pitchers and catchers on Saturday.
-If the US manages to be in medal round contention by Sunday (not a guarantee, because it is my understanding that they are extremely young), I think it will be probably the second most excited I've ever been for a hockey game. They play Canada who is 1) the favorites; 2) the host and 3) our geographic "rivals". The most excited ever was when the Badgers were in the National Championship game a few years back, which marked the only Badger hockey game I've ever seen sober. There is going to be all sorts of hype around the game and I bet the crowd will be ridiculous. I'm hoping to catch the two weekday games on the DVR.
-Figure skating is awful.
-I'm actually excited for the Brewers to play a spring training game. I'm obviously retarded.
I like what they did in the offseason. They addressed some holes (Looper, Suppan?). Although Wolf and Davis aren't stellar by any means, I can't believe they will be worse, and even average would be an improvement. If Gallardo can a) stay healthy and b) stop throwing 130 pitches through 5 innings, Parra taps into his potential by even getting to average, and somehow Suppan dies and Bush/Narveson/mystery pitcher number 5 can pitch into the 5th without giving up 5 homers on even a semi-regular basis, we should win 5 more games based on pitching alone.
Hitting wise, it is hard to imagine the new 93 year old catcher being worse than Kendall, although I'm sure we will lose a few HBP. We will make up the HBP with a full season (hopefully) from Weeks. Weeks was awesome last year before going down, but it felt a bit like a fluke since I hated him prior to last season. Only a full season from Weeks (which seems unlikely) at his early last season performance would be a true improvement at 2B. Is Escobar better than Hardy? I would say defensively it is probably a wash. Speed is a definite improvement. Hitting? Potentially. Hardy was extremely streaky, and could carry a team for a few weeks by himself. But he was also terrible at times. I would settle for mediocre if he steals a bunch of bases (if Macha lets him). 3B is going to be about the same as last year. I doubt McGehee is going to replicate last season, but Gamel should be improved just based on hype. Bruan is great in LF, Fielder is great at 1B. Hart is slightly below average in RF, but possibly Gerut (who got alot better late last year) and Edmonds (assuming he can man an outfield with a walker) could give some much needed competition. The real key I think is going to be Gomez. Is he any good? I know he's fast, and good on D. But is the speed going to make up for the 25HRs that we would've gotten from Cameron? This feels like my big concern for the offense.
In the bully, we probably got a little better with the addition of Hawkins. Lets just pray (to SportsBottle's god) that Hoffman stays healthy.
Wow. This turned into a whole Brewer season preview accidentally. I'm seeing 80 to 85 wins, and being in a wild card conversation late. The playoffs feel possible if Gallardo turns into an All-Star (not out of the question), Braun and Fielder stay healthy, and Parra/Escobar/Gomez live up to expectations. Which is coincidentally, why baseball still sucks. Because teams like Milwaukee need everything to go right, while the Yanks and Sox can afford for almost nothing to go right, and still get to the postseason.
-I'm hoping to make a few trips to Miller Park (anyone interested?), a trip to the new Target Field for Brewers/Twins/blackout drunk in May, and a trip to Petco in San Diego for a random Padres game in May or June this season.
-If the US manages to be in medal round contention by Sunday (not a guarantee, because it is my understanding that they are extremely young), I think it will be probably the second most excited I've ever been for a hockey game. They play Canada who is 1) the favorites; 2) the host and 3) our geographic "rivals". The most excited ever was when the Badgers were in the National Championship game a few years back, which marked the only Badger hockey game I've ever seen sober. There is going to be all sorts of hype around the game and I bet the crowd will be ridiculous. I'm hoping to catch the two weekday games on the DVR.
-Figure skating is awful.
-I'm actually excited for the Brewers to play a spring training game. I'm obviously retarded.
I like what they did in the offseason. They addressed some holes (Looper, Suppan?). Although Wolf and Davis aren't stellar by any means, I can't believe they will be worse, and even average would be an improvement. If Gallardo can a) stay healthy and b) stop throwing 130 pitches through 5 innings, Parra taps into his potential by even getting to average, and somehow Suppan dies and Bush/Narveson/mystery pitcher number 5 can pitch into the 5th without giving up 5 homers on even a semi-regular basis, we should win 5 more games based on pitching alone.
Hitting wise, it is hard to imagine the new 93 year old catcher being worse than Kendall, although I'm sure we will lose a few HBP. We will make up the HBP with a full season (hopefully) from Weeks. Weeks was awesome last year before going down, but it felt a bit like a fluke since I hated him prior to last season. Only a full season from Weeks (which seems unlikely) at his early last season performance would be a true improvement at 2B. Is Escobar better than Hardy? I would say defensively it is probably a wash. Speed is a definite improvement. Hitting? Potentially. Hardy was extremely streaky, and could carry a team for a few weeks by himself. But he was also terrible at times. I would settle for mediocre if he steals a bunch of bases (if Macha lets him). 3B is going to be about the same as last year. I doubt McGehee is going to replicate last season, but Gamel should be improved just based on hype. Bruan is great in LF, Fielder is great at 1B. Hart is slightly below average in RF, but possibly Gerut (who got alot better late last year) and Edmonds (assuming he can man an outfield with a walker) could give some much needed competition. The real key I think is going to be Gomez. Is he any good? I know he's fast, and good on D. But is the speed going to make up for the 25HRs that we would've gotten from Cameron? This feels like my big concern for the offense.
In the bully, we probably got a little better with the addition of Hawkins. Lets just pray (to SportsBottle's god) that Hoffman stays healthy.
Wow. This turned into a whole Brewer season preview accidentally. I'm seeing 80 to 85 wins, and being in a wild card conversation late. The playoffs feel possible if Gallardo turns into an All-Star (not out of the question), Braun and Fielder stay healthy, and Parra/Escobar/Gomez live up to expectations. Which is coincidentally, why baseball still sucks. Because teams like Milwaukee need everything to go right, while the Yanks and Sox can afford for almost nothing to go right, and still get to the postseason.
-I'm hoping to make a few trips to Miller Park (anyone interested?), a trip to the new Target Field for Brewers/Twins/blackout drunk in May, and a trip to Petco in San Diego for a random Padres game in May or June this season.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday Morning Live
I'm coming to you live from an office. An office deep inside a mountain-side bunker, somewhere in Northeast Wisconsin. Which, is fucking bullshit. At least I'm wearing a hat. For some reason, it only seems like I'm half working if I have jeans and a hat on. The goal is to get home by 1 for the UW-Indiana tip. It is a game that Bucky should win, at least on paper.
I want welcome those (maybe I should use the singular, "that guy") people here for the first time from the link on the JS Online "Fan Cave". You have to have been a follower or SportsBubble or some kind of nuclear physicist to actually get to the page to find our link, but it is a good page. Anyways, I hope you enjoy me writing, which I typically do much more when I'm not working on Saturdays. (And enjoy silence from the other four writers.) Oh, and O.J. was found not guilty by a jury of his peers.
I just realized that I'm pretty pumped for Olympic hockey. Olympic hockey is fantastic. I see the U.S. plays Tuesday afternoon, which means I can either try to DVR it, or I can watch it online and not work. Hmmmmm. (Can this be gambled on SportsBottle?)
I've seen the video of the luge guy over at Deadspin. It was gross. I probably shouldn't have clicked play. I'm not all worked up over the fact that they posted the video like some are, but I don't really want it up here due to the morbidity. If you don't want to watch it, don't. And shut up about the fact that the video is available to watch if you are so inclined. I hate people like that. (Can another luge death be gambled on SportsBottle?)
I READ A BOOK
After two months of blood, sweat and tears (maybe some other bodily fluids) I finally finished "The Book of Basketball" by Bill Simmons. If you like history/basketball/or the Sports Guy, I recommend it. Oh, and it helps if you can read and hold heavy objects simultaneously (700 pages!!!). If you can't do one of those things, the book probably isn't for you.
Next up on my reading list is Chuck Klosterman "Eating the Dinosaur", which is approximately 1,110 pages shorter.
IN VIDS NEWS
I think I've mastered College Hoops 2k8 to the point that it is getting boring. I'm on a 71 game winning streak with Creighton. I'm gunning for the record of 88 by UCLA. Probably time to get a new game. And yes, I play video games, and my wife lets me.
I want welcome those (maybe I should use the singular, "that guy") people here for the first time from the link on the JS Online "Fan Cave". You have to have been a follower or SportsBubble or some kind of nuclear physicist to actually get to the page to find our link, but it is a good page. Anyways, I hope you enjoy me writing, which I typically do much more when I'm not working on Saturdays. (And enjoy silence from the other four writers.) Oh, and O.J. was found not guilty by a jury of his peers.
I just realized that I'm pretty pumped for Olympic hockey. Olympic hockey is fantastic. I see the U.S. plays Tuesday afternoon, which means I can either try to DVR it, or I can watch it online and not work. Hmmmmm. (Can this be gambled on SportsBottle?)
I've seen the video of the luge guy over at Deadspin. It was gross. I probably shouldn't have clicked play. I'm not all worked up over the fact that they posted the video like some are, but I don't really want it up here due to the morbidity. If you don't want to watch it, don't. And shut up about the fact that the video is available to watch if you are so inclined. I hate people like that. (Can another luge death be gambled on SportsBottle?)
I READ A BOOK
After two months of blood, sweat and tears (maybe some other bodily fluids) I finally finished "The Book of Basketball" by Bill Simmons. If you like history/basketball/or the Sports Guy, I recommend it. Oh, and it helps if you can read and hold heavy objects simultaneously (700 pages!!!). If you can't do one of those things, the book probably isn't for you.
Next up on my reading list is Chuck Klosterman "Eating the Dinosaur", which is approximately 1,110 pages shorter.
IN VIDS NEWS
I think I've mastered College Hoops 2k8 to the point that it is getting boring. I'm on a 71 game winning streak with Creighton. I'm gunning for the record of 88 by UCLA. Probably time to get a new game. And yes, I play video games, and my wife lets me.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Morning Juice
It is that magical time again, where I try to make up a name for a series of random posts, and will use it for a week and then never use it again!
TODAY IN SMALL DASHES
-The Super Bowl was good, not great. Largest. Television. Audience. EVER? It is pretty fucking amazing that the record stood for 27 years (and M.A.S.H was not a good show). Why would this particular Super Bowl be first? Sort of confused. The commercials were subpar. I'm not really a huge fan of someone telling me that my mistress cannot have her fetus ripped from her womb, but that Tebow commercial was not a fucking big deal at all.
-Quick Movie Review: "The Happening" starring Mark Wahlberg and a bunch of random assholes. Premise was interesting (plants decide to kill humans by creating a neurotoxin that makes people kill themselves), but very poorly executed and kind of unrealistic (that oak tree is going to make me run myself over with a lawn mower?). The death scenes were pretty epic. Besides the lawn mower, there was the cop who shoots himself in the head, followed by people standing in line one after another picking up the gun and shooting themselves. I like most Wahlberg movies, but this one lacked a certain, I dunno, point. I guess there was no fucking point, and there was no explanation or rhyme or reason for the plants attacking. I give it a 2.5 out of 10 and would recommend it to nobody. It was truly terrible. Not the worst movie I've seen in the last six months. That would go to "The Express". The acting was so bad I had to shut it off. I'm not kidding.
-The Olympics are starting up this weekend. I'm sort of excited only because it will give me something to do while working 20 hours a day (exaggeration). I can keep track of luge results. The only shitty thing is that it is in the same basic time zone, so I'm not going to have Belarus v. Czech Republic hockey on at 8 a.m. to pretend to keep track of.
-Pitchers and catchers in like 10 days. Pumped to watch spring training scores update every 30 minutes at MLB.com while at work. I might decide an extended preview is in order.
-I placed a friendly wager on #9UW v. Illinois tonight. A six pack of beer on this one and the one in Campaign with this dude I work with that went to Illinois. I'm going to make him buy me two six packs of Stella Artois Nobilis. If I lose he's getting Natty Ice.
TODAY IN SMALL DASHES
-The Super Bowl was good, not great. Largest. Television. Audience. EVER? It is pretty fucking amazing that the record stood for 27 years (and M.A.S.H was not a good show). Why would this particular Super Bowl be first? Sort of confused. The commercials were subpar. I'm not really a huge fan of someone telling me that my mistress cannot have her fetus ripped from her womb, but that Tebow commercial was not a fucking big deal at all.
-Quick Movie Review: "The Happening" starring Mark Wahlberg and a bunch of random assholes. Premise was interesting (plants decide to kill humans by creating a neurotoxin that makes people kill themselves), but very poorly executed and kind of unrealistic (that oak tree is going to make me run myself over with a lawn mower?). The death scenes were pretty epic. Besides the lawn mower, there was the cop who shoots himself in the head, followed by people standing in line one after another picking up the gun and shooting themselves. I like most Wahlberg movies, but this one lacked a certain, I dunno, point. I guess there was no fucking point, and there was no explanation or rhyme or reason for the plants attacking. I give it a 2.5 out of 10 and would recommend it to nobody. It was truly terrible. Not the worst movie I've seen in the last six months. That would go to "The Express". The acting was so bad I had to shut it off. I'm not kidding.
-The Olympics are starting up this weekend. I'm sort of excited only because it will give me something to do while working 20 hours a day (exaggeration). I can keep track of luge results. The only shitty thing is that it is in the same basic time zone, so I'm not going to have Belarus v. Czech Republic hockey on at 8 a.m. to pretend to keep track of.
-Pitchers and catchers in like 10 days. Pumped to watch spring training scores update every 30 minutes at MLB.com while at work. I might decide an extended preview is in order.
-I placed a friendly wager on #9UW v. Illinois tonight. A six pack of beer on this one and the one in Campaign with this dude I work with that went to Illinois. I'm going to make him buy me two six packs of Stella Artois Nobilis. If I lose he's getting Natty Ice.
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