---Sir Smokealot.
We are entering the time of year where there isn't going to be all that much for me to write about. Sure, I suppose I could write about the NFL playoffs, but unless something super funny happens, I don't really need to put you through a 1,203,451st post about what a piece of shit He Who Shall Not Be Named is. Although I suppose, you could witness my last few days (and probably the end of humanity as Satan swallows up the Earth when his prophecy is fulfilled) if He and His Viqueens win the Super Bowl. Let's just hope and assume that isn't going to happen. ANYWAYS, other than college basketball junk, which I love, but which doesn't typically give me that much to write about, there isn't much out there. Combine that with the fact that Uncle Sam and his archaic tax system forces everyone in America to file a tax return by April 15th (and that this system provides me with an excuse to stay employed, which provides me with free internet access for the other 9 months out of the year to post incessant ramblings on this site), and I will be actually "working" and not "pretending to work" (except during March Madness when I will be watching MMOD on my computer) there will be alot less of me in the coming months. Historically (last year) you can see that the number of posts in February and March is reduced dramatically. Here is the point. We allegedly have 3 other people and one other zoo animal that are able to post things on this here site. I don't mind carrying this team for 9 months out of the year ala Aaron Rodgers, but once in awhile I need someone else to make a play. I'm merely requesting that you each take like 10 minutes a week to put something of (time wasting and irrelevant) substance here. I will attempt to throw something up once a week or so, or more if something tickles my fancy (like NBA gun play, or Tiger chasing Wilt). Thank You.
THE WEEKEND
I have a "quintuple date" on Saturday consisting of my wife and I, and my four bosses and their spouses. It is going to be awful. I'm either going to miss a good portion of Colts/Ravens, or I am going be up until 4 am watching shit on the DVR (there is also UW/Ohio St. at 7, and CU/Wichita St at 4 on ESPN2 (why bother)). Not sure what to do yet. Maybe I will just get blacked out on margaritas.
SNOW VOLLEYBALL
Richard finally broke me down. Even though I went at least once in college and it was not memorable at all. I'm headed to La Crosse in a few weeks to get blacked out at the Alpine Inn while watching drunken assholes freeze thier asses of on a snow covered volleyball court, then attempt to navigate down the bluff without dying. Good thing the ice is frozen, or I would drown Richard in the Mississippi. The Unknown QB is also going. And also maybe everyone's favorite friend of my wife. Richard is totally going to bang her (or my brother will?) AGAIN.
NFL PICKS
This is the second best weekend in sports. First is the four day open to the NCAA Basketball Tournament. Hopefully nobody is taking these pretend bets and placing them for real.
Last Week: 1-3
Season: 114-117-4
All-Time: 248-243-6
NO (-7), Ind (-6.5), Min (-2.5), SD (-7.5)
Showing posts with label movie quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie quotes. Show all posts
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Pass the Popsicles
One quick thing before I begin. I am blatantly stealing the popsicle thing from Bill Simmons, although I only used it because I didn't want to use the word dick in the title to a post. So from here on out, I'm stealing a quote from "Pulp Fiction" which is fair game as far as I'm concerned.
Can we all agree that fans of Marquette maybe shouldn't start sucking eachother's dicks yet? I have to go ahead and admit that I have found a way to dislike Marquette as I have matured as a human being, and realized that rooting for UW and Marquette is like rooting for the North and the South in the civil war. I've long since picked my side, so I'm sure people are going to accuse me of hating on Marquette just for the sake of doing so. Fuck those people. Marquette can't really claim to be a "national title contender" at this point. Their schedule doesn't justify it. I think Marquette is good. And they are fairly entertaining to watch. But before we start sucking eachother's dicks, lets look at facts. The Good: 20-4 overall and 9-2 in a brutal Big East. The Bad: who have they played and beaten, really? There best wins are arguably not all that great, and almost entirely at home. The only wins over teams that will probably get into the tournament are: at home against Wisconsin, Villanova, West Virginia and MAYBE Georgetown. They have also lost a neutral court game against Dayton, at Tennesee, at Villanova and a horrible loss at South Florida. Do any of those "big" wins overly impress you? I'm not on that shit until they play thier brutal stretch February 25th thru March 7th: UConn, at Louisville, at Pitt, Syracuse. If they can get 3 out of 4, and win the Big East, THEN we can commence the oral pleasuring. Until then, please fucking relax.
I also think we need to wait until about December before we start believing a certain former Green Bay Packers QB is actually retired, and is not out to ruin my life. So lets not start sucking eachother's dicks over that yet either.
IN NOT ORAL SATISFACTION NEWS:
Nice wins for UW and CU. Both are trying thier damndest to play thier way into the Dance. According to some cursory Internets research that I'm too lazy to re-find and link to, UW is in on alot of fake brackets, and most are considering CU as an at-large (one even had them as the first team out). Stay tuned.
Can we all agree that fans of Marquette maybe shouldn't start sucking eachother's dicks yet? I have to go ahead and admit that I have found a way to dislike Marquette as I have matured as a human being, and realized that rooting for UW and Marquette is like rooting for the North and the South in the civil war. I've long since picked my side, so I'm sure people are going to accuse me of hating on Marquette just for the sake of doing so. Fuck those people. Marquette can't really claim to be a "national title contender" at this point. Their schedule doesn't justify it. I think Marquette is good. And they are fairly entertaining to watch. But before we start sucking eachother's dicks, lets look at facts. The Good: 20-4 overall and 9-2 in a brutal Big East. The Bad: who have they played and beaten, really? There best wins are arguably not all that great, and almost entirely at home. The only wins over teams that will probably get into the tournament are: at home against Wisconsin, Villanova, West Virginia and MAYBE Georgetown. They have also lost a neutral court game against Dayton, at Tennesee, at Villanova and a horrible loss at South Florida. Do any of those "big" wins overly impress you? I'm not on that shit until they play thier brutal stretch February 25th thru March 7th: UConn, at Louisville, at Pitt, Syracuse. If they can get 3 out of 4, and win the Big East, THEN we can commence the oral pleasuring. Until then, please fucking relax.
I also think we need to wait until about December before we start believing a certain former Green Bay Packers QB is actually retired, and is not out to ruin my life. So lets not start sucking eachother's dicks over that yet either.
IN NOT ORAL SATISFACTION NEWS:
Nice wins for UW and CU. Both are trying thier damndest to play thier way into the Dance. According to some cursory Internets research that I'm too lazy to re-find and link to, UW is in on alot of fake brackets, and most are considering CU as an at-large (one even had them as the first team out). Stay tuned.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Storming the Floor Etiquette
This is a few days late, but since nobody besides me watched, or gave a shit, that UWGB rolled up then 6th ranked Butler the other night, I thought I could write this now and be OK. See, after the win, the UWGB fans stormed the court like they had just won a championship of some sort. To be fair, according to my cursory review of UWGB basketball history, this is only the third ever home win over a ranked opponent, so it was a very big win for the program and everyone should be excited. But I have a number of problems with the storming of the court:
1) Last week the student section appeared to have about 30 people in it. So the majority of the people storming the court are bandwagon jumpers, and shouldn't have the right to act that excited.
2) UWGB is still in second place after the win.
3) It was a regular season game, that was really for nothing other than bragging rights, and seedings, seeing as UWGB has ZERO chance at an at-large bid, and Butler is probably getting one anyway.
4) It wasn't THAT big of an upset.
In my mind there is a series of rules that need to be followed before court storming is appropriate. As Walter says, "This isn't 'Nam. There are rules!!!". If any one of these things happens, a storming is appropriate. I am happy to provide such a list:
1) The win clinches an NCAA birth. Even if you are Duke and you go every year, it is hard to do, and a celebration is warranted. There is nothing cooler than a really small mid-major doing this after their first appearance in 45 years.
2) You are unranked, and the win is against the number one ranked team. Not 6, not 20, but NUMBER ONE.
3) The win is a monumental upset. If you are the last place team and beat a ranked opponent for the first time ever, it is acceptable ONCE. If you are historically terrible and you snap a losing streak to that team that is more than 20 games long, it is acceptable, ONCE.
4) It is a hotly contested conference game, between good rivals, and the game ends on a miraculous buzzer beater. If the sheer emotion of the ending ends in the players in a pile up, the fans are allowed to join in.
5) You win a national title.
That's it. That's the list. The storming of the court in Green Bay earlier in the week was amateur hour.
1) Last week the student section appeared to have about 30 people in it. So the majority of the people storming the court are bandwagon jumpers, and shouldn't have the right to act that excited.
2) UWGB is still in second place after the win.
3) It was a regular season game, that was really for nothing other than bragging rights, and seedings, seeing as UWGB has ZERO chance at an at-large bid, and Butler is probably getting one anyway.
4) It wasn't THAT big of an upset.
In my mind there is a series of rules that need to be followed before court storming is appropriate. As Walter says, "This isn't 'Nam. There are rules!!!". If any one of these things happens, a storming is appropriate. I am happy to provide such a list:
1) The win clinches an NCAA birth. Even if you are Duke and you go every year, it is hard to do, and a celebration is warranted. There is nothing cooler than a really small mid-major doing this after their first appearance in 45 years.
2) You are unranked, and the win is against the number one ranked team. Not 6, not 20, but NUMBER ONE.
3) The win is a monumental upset. If you are the last place team and beat a ranked opponent for the first time ever, it is acceptable ONCE. If you are historically terrible and you snap a losing streak to that team that is more than 20 games long, it is acceptable, ONCE.
4) It is a hotly contested conference game, between good rivals, and the game ends on a miraculous buzzer beater. If the sheer emotion of the ending ends in the players in a pile up, the fans are allowed to join in.
5) You win a national title.
That's it. That's the list. The storming of the court in Green Bay earlier in the week was amateur hour.
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