This cheers me up

I'll Take It

For those who didn't see it, Manny Ramirez held up a sign in the dugout that said "Trade me to Green Bay for Brett Favre straight up." Absolutely I will take it at this point. Does anyone else feel slightly dirty about the possibility that the Pack offered Favre 20 mil to stay the fuck home? It just feels sort of wrong to me, although in other industries "golden parachutes" happen all the time. I suppose if Favre were to take it, that would shut the assholes up that have been taking his side from the beginning. If not, this certainly makes the Packers look bad. This is all allegedly (until Favre opens his dipshit mouth and tells everyone word for word what Murphy said). Now there are reports that the Pack may have to trade Favre within the division. I just can't really decide which is worse 1)having to deal with the distraction of him being here, and the relentless fuckfaces calling for them to play him/ but having him available if Rodgers sucks or gets hurt or 2) giving him up, getting some shit in return, and having to deal with the relentless fuckfaces bitch and moan as he leads the Queens to the playoffs. The thought of either makes me physically ill. The best case scenario is that Jeff Garcia's leg is hurt tremendously, and they blink and trade for Favre. I don't know, this whole fucking thing is getting so ridiculous. Favre is a fucking asshole, and I dislove him more and more every day. It is his and only his fault that shit has gotten this crazy. If he would have a)not retired, b)not changed his mind again in March, c)hasn't gone back and forth on retiring for 10 straight years and d) wasn't being such a dick about where he would be traded, none of this would be happening. I still don't really understand how people blame Ted Thompson for this. I just don't really know what choice they have at this point. They let him go and he goes to the Vikings for nothing (we assume), or we trade him and at least get something out of the deal. I just don't think there is anything reasonable to do at this point. I heard someone say they should extend Rodgers, give him a shitload of money, and let Favre play. I dunno man. I just don't know. Alot of people think Favre needs to come back and he should be "allowed to compete" because he is so much better than Rodgers. First, that can't happen. Favre wants to be handed his job, and wouldn't be willing to compete. Most of these same fucktasting "fans" bitch about Rodgers being handed the job, but certainly see no issue with approximately 98% of starting QB's in NFL history never having to compete for their jobs (including Favre for the last 16 years).

Second, how would that work any better than making him sit and cause the distraction? If Rodgers "wins" everyone will assume it was rigged anyway, and Favre will piss and moan. It won't take away the distraction and it won't make things better for the dipshit fans. Nothing short of handing the job back to Favre will pacify his ego, and whatever bullshit need he has to "compete".

Third, do we really know that Favre is so much better? Obviously, he has done well, had a great year last year, and has alot of experience, is a hall of famer, and a top 5 QB of all time. Obviously, Rodgers is unproven at best. But does anyone remember three years ago? When Favre sucked dick and we went 4-12? What guarantee is there that he will be as good as last year? And if he is the starter and sucks, can you imagine what would happen if McCarthy tried to bench him? What guarantee is there that Rodgers can't be as good as Favre was (at least last year, nobody is stupid enough to think anyone will be as good as Favre over a career.)? Or that he will get hurt? Or that Favre won't? I just don't really think the difference is as huge as some are making it out to be.

There is nobody on earth smart enough to figure this out. No good answers. Personally, I think the Pack has to do what they think is right, and I trust the people in charge. Thompson and McCarthy have done nothing to prove to me they don't know what they are doing. They don't always make the obvious decision. Alot of times it isn't the most popular either. But I trust them more than I trust Favre right now. Even if that "bribe" was sort of dirty.

PS. I can't wait to walk down the street on Sundays near Lambeau and trip over all of the face value tickets from the "Packer fans" who refuse to follow the team anymore over this. Clearly, I know this will never happen, because these people are full of shit, and as soon as the season starts they will don their Super Bowl Mardi Gras beads and Zubaz pants and pretend they are the biggest fans on planet fucking earth for their entire lives.

Well. That was fun.

I thoroughly enjoyed the 35 seconds that the Brewers were tied for first place in the central. After getting thier ASSES kicked on three straight nights, I think it is pretty safe to say the Cubs are a little better. Also clear is that Ned Yost is a terrible fucking manager. The worst part is that the games are impossible to enjoy because of all of the fucking FIBs.

Running game blog starting from the 5th!

Ok this game is really starting to piss me off, so I feel like others should know my anger.

As this game goes through to commercial breaks, I'll be adding in thoughts I've had from previous innings. Top of the first, I find it hilarious how neither of the two dead beats that are spewing forth mindless drivel from the booth don't comment on the fact that Fielder straight up dropped the fucking ball on what very likely was the third out. Granted it was a wild pitch and that's not Fielder's fault, but it is his job to catch a ball thrown from his teammates in the infield. Bottom of 1, we would not have scored without that gift from Dumpster. Bottom of 3 Parra doubles to deep center from the leadoff spot and easily gets stranded for the rest of the game.

Top of the 5th, Reed Johnson slaps a single into right, I don't know if this is true or not, but you have to feel like a first baseman under 290 pounds gets to that. Sutcliffe and his nancy boy start talking about NL Cy Young candidates, after they get done with this they of course start talking about how awesome Dumpster's been tonight. They then proceed to show 3 Brewers in a row K'ing on neck high fastballs, FILTHY STUFF RICK, you fucking hack. Luckily our one solid infielder gets a rocket to end the inning.

Bottom half of the inning, Mike Cameron K's like a bitch. Man he has been playing just terrible in the last month, it's just been below average play after below average play. I'm very excited that his ass will be out the door come season end. Kendall socks one into left, he's been slumping a bit too, but his D is solid, he eats pitches and when he does get a hit, it's usually clutch and it's really just an added bonus for us. Of course as I say that, Kendall's 47 year old ass gets thrown out by about 14 steps, fucking stellar job Ned, right as Parra laces a triple to left center. I'll sleep comfortably tonight with the knowledge that he will be stranded yet again. Good to see the only person who can hit Dumpster tonight is our pitcher. COME ON DURHAM. Bleh, he grounds out to third, but I 100% blame Yost for this game not being tied right now. He habitually finds a way to lose runs in games.

Top of the 6th, brilliant insight from the booth, they claim Parra should have stayed at second instead of going for the triple with 2 outs because it didn't matter that much. OR, and here's a fucking thought, which I know these two are incapable of having without the Red Sox or Yankees playing, but he's a fucking pitcher. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there's no guarantee he scores from second from a single, while at the same time a single scores him from third no matter what. Erin Andrews claims that Yost told her we have the defense to win a championship. Toss me a bag of mushrooms and lock me in a bathroom for a week so I can get a taste of what's going on in his mind. Fuck Soriano. Theriot triples the bases empty 4-1 Scrubs. Sutcliffe once again mentions Parra's triple and claims that had a major factor in his demise here in the 6th. Or this was his 4th time through the lineup and I really don't know a pitcher that fares well in that situation? Nope! Had to be the triple. Villenueva comes in and looks sharp while striking out Lee, nicely done. We've lost the announcers for the night as they've taken up the topic of what they would have done at the ESPY's if they were rich or famous, life sucks fellas. They start talking about Parra again and how the reason that he started to lose it in the 6th was because of his pitch count... OR HE WAS FACING THE LINEUP FOR THE 4TH TIME TONIGHT. Finally in the 6th inning I am justified in my thinking that if Prince caught the throw after that wild pitch in the first, the runner may have been out, only 5 innings late guys, that's fantastic broadcasting. Walk, single scoring a run, terrible inning.

Bottom half of the inning, Hardy working the full count, then grounds to 3rd, at least he ate some pitches. Braun's first pitch, monster cut about a foot away from the ball, fouled off the next pitch, I'm predicting K. And I'm right. Once again we get the insider commentary that Parra's outing today was ruined by that triple. Let that be a lesson to pitchers everywhere, never ever take that extra base if its available to you. Fielder gets a single to left and barely beats the throw from the left fielder. That's not true of course, but you'd have to imagine if Soriano came up firing he'd at least make it look close. Hart's up now and it looks like he's been crying for the last 20 minutes. Hart strikes out swinging on a pitch that was dead center down the middle of the plate, are the Brewers going Black Sox on us? I can see it now, Kendall just freaking out behind the plate, what the fuck is going on guys!

Top of the 7th, 4th mention of Parra's triple affecting his pitching. And I jinxed Hardy as he loses control of a ball and gets Fukudomed. Just saw a Pujols highlight of him diving like 20 feet behind first and stabbing a ball for a sweet out, god I hate Prince Fielder. After a slight scare of walking the pitcher, Chucky gets the K. Good news on the political front, our 85 year old future Dark Lord of the Sith Emperor's biopsy came back cancer free. Soriano finally gets out, no damage in the 7th.

Bottom of 7th opens up with a HILARIOUS ESPN sign from a Cubs fan that says Enjoy Second Place Ned Yost. I don't think the Yost was necessary seeing as how he's the only Ned on the fucking field, god damn FIBs. Mike Cameron is batting .228, he is terrible. And he K's again, fantastic. Let's not talk about platooning him. Sutcliffe starts talking about Favre and one of them mentions how his legacy may have been tainted from the early retirement and then coming back to play. Then other one mentions that Jordan did that multiple times and his legacy is fine. Well lets get two things straight here, Jordan retired once, technically twice. The first time was less a retirement and more David Stern asking him to quit for two years instead of being suspended for 2 years for having a gambling problem. But the one time he did come back was for a completely different team and there was a gap in time between the two seasons, that's a lot different. Oh the inning's over, went by so quick I didn't notice.

Riske's in to lead off the 8th and immediately gives up a single, I'm predicting a 4 run 8th for the Scrubs. Samardja apparently asked what position Sutcliffe used to play after he got done interviewing him before a game, that's good stuff. This gets mentioned 3 or 4 more times before the inning is over.

Ok I've completely lost interest in this game and Sutcliffe's blatant homerisms, I'm giving up on this for the night, good night and good fight.


Had to come back for this one, Sutcliffe and his crony claim that Hardy was an all star this year while they try and sing his praises. Then Hardy proceeds to K by watching 3 straight pitches after a 3-0 count, weak sauce.

Weeks Sucks by Tom Hardicourt

I was going to write a long, rambling post about how Weeks sucks, but I will let Tom Hardicourt do it for me.

Death Match: Brewer v. Packer

I've been wondering for a few weeks now what would happen today when Packer training camp opens and the Brewers open their biggest series of the year so far against the baby bears. Well, I can tell you from listening to local radio that it was a beating of epic proportions. If you had just landed from an alien planet, you would have no idea that a baseball team even plays in Wisconsin, much less is in the middle of a pennant race, with a legitimate shot at the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. The only time the Crew even got mentioned was when the hosts forced it in. If there had been completely free reign on phone calls, there would have been no mention of the series that starts tonight. And I'm not even talking about the Favre thing. Of course it was discussed because there is a federal law that mandates that if you have any idea what a football looks like, and you host a show, you must discuss Brett Favre for at least 25% of all on-air time. But most of the talk was about other things, Ryan Grant's holdout was a big one. It is incredible to me that overnight, the Brewers were vaporized by grown men discussing other grown men practicing a game in 90 degree heat.

I guess I just wanted to point out how far the Brewers have to go to garner even remotely close to the obsession that Wisconsin fans have for the Packers. Myself included probably. If the Packers played at the same time as the Brewers I wouldn't think twice about what I would be watching.

YOUR Oklahoma City....Energy?

Not a real big NBA fan, but I find it interesting when teams move and change thier names. I'm kind of a defunct franchise junky. So I see that OKC has applied for patents for six possible nicknames: Barons, Bison, Marshalls, Energy, Thunder and Wind. And according to the article they spelled "Marshalls" wrong. I guess it is only spelled with one "L". That makes my obvious vote for that one because I would love to see a team with an unintentionally mis-spelled nickname. If I wasn't a lazy piece of shit, I would head over to the local U.S. Patent office and put a patent on the correct spelling, then sell it to the NBA for like $20mil and retire to the Caribbean.

My second thought is that Energy and Wind are Liberace gay. In fact, I'm pretty sure the Milwaukee Bucks dance team is name is nicknamed the Energee! So that would be a weird dynamic. And what the fuck is a "wind"?

I am partial to Thunder because that was my high school's nickname. But oh how I would love to see Kevin Durant play as a member of the OKC "Marshalls".

AS AN ASIDE:

It is SO frustrating to watch the Crew leave 12 guys in scoring position every game. That was a game that should have been won last night. And yes, I am bitching about an 8 game winning streak being snapped...I feel like a fucking Yank or Sawx fan.

I predict Favre will be gone by the end of the night tonight. There is no way the Packers want that distraction. Whether he shows up to camp or not, it will be a distraction for the whole team if there is a possibility of him playing QB for the Packers. Because there will always be some group of dipshits that start chanting for Favre to come back every time the Packers punt.

Illegitimate Thoughts

-Weeks watch:
Weeks: 6/13, HR, 5RBI, BB, 0SB
Durham: 0/1

So far, not a really fair fight, since Weeks has been busy "achieving" at the major league level. He has been great this week though.

I am still cleaning up semen from CC's game last night. Easily the best stretch for a Brewer starter in my lifetime. Hopefully Benny can sweep the Cards tonight.

What if the Crew actually pulled off a trade for Houston Street? Not the greatest closer, but would dominate as a setup man. THEN maybe we could get rid of Mota.

-Orenthal James Simpson Football Association Update:

The following three guys were kept by the O.G. Team from Stoughton, WI: LDT, A-Peter, Carson Palmer. WOW. Are you fucking kidding me? Cobra, you are fucked in the ass when you play him.

Right now I would have to say that team and Bear's team are the odds on favorites.

I just bought a fantasy magazine and am in the process of putting together a master(bater) list.

New Onion article

So the onion has a new article up about the Brewers. My favorite quotes are as follows.

"On Monday, Yost announced that any player who attempted to devour another, no matter how delicious they seemed to appear, would be subject to disciplinary action."

"And as a provisional measure, we've gotten Ray Durham from the Giants in the hopes that both Prince and C.C. will think he's a giant ham and leave one another alone."

Good stuff, good stuff

The Weeks Watch is ON!

C'mon Neddy. Really? I mean, even Bear's boy Hardicourt couldn't come up with anything good to say about Weeks, and he sucks whomever's dick the manager and GM tell him to. An average of .216 is horrible for any regular starter, much less the fucking leadoff guy. And it is late July now. It would be hard for Neddy to claim he is suddenly going to turn things around. You gotta think in the very near future that Neddy is going to start feeling pressure to leave Ray Durham in after he gets two or three hits the first few times he plays. My favorite comment from Yost: "For me, he has never underachieved because he never achieved up here. How can you say he has underachieved?" I mean, that is classic Neddy. Just a dick whenever he wants to be. Contradicting himself at every turn. First getting offended at the mere notion that he would take out long dong Weeks, and then saying he has been a piece of shit for the last three years to claim he isn't an underachiever. Whatever. From now on I am going to waste time chronicling how shitty Weeks is compared to Durham, until I get lazy and forget about it.

We are mere minutes away from a HUGE series in fucking July for the Crew. Gotta believe they are guaranteed to win at least one of the CC (I can't call him BF anymore, he is too good) Big Ben back-to-back, meaning they really only need one of the first two to declare the series a moderate success. I would be happy with a road split, although a series win would be as gigantic as it could be in July.

Sorry, We Don't Want Your $30

The wife an I attempted to go see "The Dark Knight" last night. We had to sidestep the large piles of semen all over the sidewalk outside of the theater, as people who exited weren't able to contain themselves over how good it was. Problem is we only got there 40 fucking minutes early. Which I guess wasn't enough. We were informed when we arrived that the two nerds in front of us got the last two tickets. Nothing sucks as much in this age of $9.00 gas, to drive 8 miles to the theatre to be told to go fuck myself, and be told that we could enjoy Mamma Mia! I don't think I've been more pissed to have someone tell me they would not accept my $30. I'm rather convinced the movie wouldn't have been sold out (I guess all 12 showings yesterday were sold out) had that gay cowboy dude not died "tragically" (didn't he fucking kill himself with a toxic mix of pills?) Anyway, I still want to see it. The last one was fantastic. I had to go with plan B last night which consisted of a 20 oz. Mocha Frappe and watching Saw II (STARRING DONNIE FUCKING WAHLBERG!!!, not Marky Mark Wahlberg who is actually a pretty good actor, but fucking DONNIE!!! who I didn't even know acted).

"Sabathia is a fucking stud"

That is an actual text I received from Bear about 11 p.m. last night. And he was absolutely correct. That was one of the more dominating performances I've seen from a Brewer pitcher. I am a little bit enamored with him. At least the Crew can only lose 4 in a row at once the rest of the year.

NO T.V. today for the game, which should be illegal.