Daily Wagering 12/7

I got anally raped yesterday, but I took it with a smile on my face.

I'm gonna get the update out of the way before I start crying -

• pending wagers - $20
• current balance - $43.69
• actual balance - $63.69
• overall progress - (46.74)

I didn't realize it until late last night that the Patriots cost me $50. I can't fucking believe they lost to the Dolphins. What the FUCK. I also lost $5 on a shootout loss by the Ducks to the Senators (as a side note, watching shootout updates on a cell phone is not as exciting as watching it on TV). I read recently that Kansas went on a 36-0 run against Alcorn St the other day. The Bucks, not wanting to be outdone, allowed a 29-0 run to the Cavs. That's is simply unbfuckinglievable. Suffice it to say they did not cover the +8. I did place a last second bet on the Giants yesterday, and they performed admirably, giving me somewhat of a moral victory.

Fuck Brandon Lang.

So, I've spent this entire NFL season watching the Vikings do whatever they want. It was all so easy, and all so frustrating to watch. He Who Shall Not Be Named never got touched. Jared Allen never got blocked. With this in mind I decide to turn the tables and bet on the Vikings favored by 4. Out of 12 games, they've covered the spread or at least barely missed covering the spread in 11. I choose the one game they were out of at halftime.

I did win one of my (non) foolproof parlays, though. Automatic.

Moving on.....

All my Packer bets were part of parlays I lost yesterday, so I was forced to make a couple new ones, including a prop bet. I took the Packers at -3.5 for $5 to win $4.55. I also took the prop bet that the first score of the game will NOT be a touchdown $5 to win $7.

(Non) foolproof parlay of the day - college basketball - Seton Hall, Texas A&M, Auburn (iffy pick), Michigan St and Bradley. $5 to win $6.88.

I also placed a long term boxing (non) foolproof bet - 8 matches to be decided over the next few weeks - $5 to win $13.96.

As I type this I placed a 4 team NBA money line bet. Again, money line is simply picking the winner. Nuggets, Trail Blazers, OKC and Spurs. $5 to win $24.90. Needless to say, this bet is much more important than the Packer game and I'm seriously debating whether or not to get the NBA Season Pass application that will allow me to listen to any NBA game on my phone.

Gambling lesson of the day - Prop Bets. Not being able to come up with a definition, I'll use an example. Every NFL game has a ton of prop bets (i.e. who scores first, will a team score within the first 7.5 minutes, will a team score 3 or more unanswered times, etc). Prop bets are bets that have nothing to do with the final outcome of a game. Tonight, ideally, the Packers will score first with a field goal and win me 7 fucking big ones.

If I don't turn things around today it appears I'll be on life support soon. I have authorized myself another hundy if need be, but I'm not sure I'll go through with it. But this is so much fun.

Biased Reactions and Not Working

BCS

-Texas v. Alabama is probably the correct matchup if you ignore the fact that there are 3 other undefeated teams that don't get any chance for a championship for reasons that will never make sense to me (see The Get Together).

-Texas got there under dubious circumstances. Someone needs to explain to me how they were allowed that extra second. I understand that arguably the clock read 0:01 at the exact millisecond that the ball hit the ground. I can accept that it was arguably correct if the basis for "correctness" is the millisecond the ball hit the ground. And believe me when I tell you that I'm all for the use of technology, and if my team was Texas, I would not be complaining. BUT, you have got to be fucking kidding me. We are really going to decide who is going to the championship game based on how fast some dude in a booth can hit the stop button on the scoreboard clock? Since when has this ever been reviewable? I watch ALOT of football, and I've never once seen the clock reviewed in football. Basketball? All the time. Would this play have been reviewed if the roles were reversed? No fucking way. And how do we know that the clock wasn't started late on play number 41, and that really there should be negative 3 seconds left?? If we are going to look at the clock on the penultimate play, then shouldn't we make sure it is correct on EVERY play? End of bitching.

-Nice cop out by the BCS sticking TCU and Boise in the same game because they were given no choice but to put them both in their fake "Series". I would hate to see Iowa, Georgia Tech, Ohio St. or Oregon get run off the field by either or both. That could harm the idea that TCU and Boise HAD to go undefeated to get there, but in some years you can see a 4 loss team from a "BCS conference". So dumb. This also might be the best bowl game of them all. How is that going to look when that game gets the best ratings?

JERSEY SHORE

-New show on MTV. It is a must see. 8 random stereotyped "Guidos" and "Guidettes" from the East Coast (and they call themselves this), with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, are put in a shore house for the summer and given free booze. Hilarity ensues. Lets just say there is a dude who calls himself "The Situation", and he manages to work the phrase "The Situation" into just about every conversation. And it is awesome.

GAME TONIGHT

-I'm picking a relatively close Packer win. And me being frozen. And me not getting anything done at work today and leaving early.

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED

-I'm heartbroken that they got thier asskicked. Really. 2 picks in first December game after 3 in first 11? Seems about right. Nice garbage, stat stuffing TD Chilly. Ridiculous.

Daily Wagering 12/6

I find myself not hungover at all after a wedding yesterday. To celebrate I have made 10 bets today at a cost of $54 for total possible winnings of 172.03.

Not a good day yesterday. Fuck USC. I thank them for proving my theory of my (non) foolproof plan, which I plan to stick to. Fuck the Utah Jazz. The Jazz fucked me big time. I made a 14 team parlay in college basketball with all the huge favorites, some teams I had never heard of. Anyways, I accidentally didn't complete the transaction and eventually added the Jazz to the parlay. I realized my mistake too late but figured the Jazz will definitely beat the TWolves. They didn't.

Anyways, on to today.

I have several variations of the same bet. Basically I need the Bengals, Saints, Bears and Chargers to win. Simply win. I've added a couple teams to those four in a couple bets, but if any one of those teams loses, I'm done.

Big bet of the day - 4 team parlay - $5 to win $57.42 - Jaguars (+2), Saints (-8.5), Seahawks (+2) and Vikings (-4).

Big bet of the day #2 - 9 team parlay - $5 to win $53.60 - all teams simply need to win - Colts, Eagles, Bengals, Saints, Panthers, Bears, Chargers, Patriots and Packers.

As I post this it's 1:15 so I'm getting a feeling for some of these bets. Saints have tied it at 10 against the Redskins. Jags +2 looking good. Actually, everything looking good so far with the exception of Saints +8, but I'm still confident in that.

Remember Brandon Lang? The movie Two For the Money? I went to his website and took his free pick of the week. He has hit 5 in a row. The pick this week is Atlanta +4.5 vs Eagles. I don't like that pick but he did for some reason, so I decided to go for it. Hopefully it'll resemble his picks from the beginning of the movie and not the end when that dude pisses on him. I don't wanna get pissed on.

Other sports - Bucks +8, 9 team NCAA basketball parlay (all heavy favorites), 2 team NHL parlay (Red Wings and Ducks).

Money update - current balance $36.43 - pending $54.00 - actual balance $90.43 - down exactly $20. I could be hurting big time after today.

******************************

2:15 update

I think I'm gonna be getting pissed on. I already had penciled in the Eagles until I listened to Brandon Lang. Actually, I'm gonna piss on him.

27-0 Eagles at this point.

The Brackets Are Revealed!

It is year two of Juice's Dream D-I NCAA Football Get Together presented by Vaseline! This is the premier BCS-protest playoff system. Once again, here are the rules and the justifications, and why this system would work:

-The champion of each D-I conference gets an automatic bid.
-32 teams, seeded, chosen by a committee (like the basketball tournament).
-The top 8 seeds host 4 team regionals on their home fields.
-Games would start next weekend, with 8 games Friday and 8 Saturday.
-Round two would have 4 games Friday and 4 Saturday at those eight campus sites.
-Quarterfinals would take place on the third Saturday, with games played and called the Peach Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, the Cotton Bowl and the Citrus Bowl.
-Semifinals will take place at the Orange and Sugar Bowls
-Title game at the Rose Bowl.
-All games televised on ABC/ESPN, with no more than two games being played at once. They would pay approximately $8 billion dollars for the rights.
-Oh, and they will actually play for the championship on the field, and not on the backs of idiotic voters.

Without further ado.

TUSCALOOSA, AL REGIONAL
(1) Alabama v. (4) Missouri
(2) Penn St. v. (3) LSU

EUGENE, OR REGIONAL
(1) Oregon v. (4) USC
(2) BYU v. (3) Stanford

FORT WORTH, TX REGIONAL
(1) TCU v. (4) Wisconsin
(2) Virginia Tech v. (3) Nebraska

CINCINNATI, OH REGIONAL
(1) Cincinnati v. (4) Temple
(2) Iowa v. (3) Middle Tennessee St.

AUSTIN, TX REGIONAL
(1) Texas v. (4) Cal
(2) Miami v. (3) Utah

ATLANTA, GA REGIONAL
(1) Georgia Tech v. (4) Pitt
(2) Ohio St. v. (3) East Carolina

BOISE, ID REGIONAL
(1) Boise St. v. (4) Oregon St.
(2) Houston v. (3) Troy

GAINESVILLE, FL REGIONAL
(1) Florida v. (4) Oklahoma St.
(2) Central Michigan v. (4) West Virginia


Results to come!!

Drunk Bosses, Other Civil Wars and The Future of this Blog

DRUNK BOSSES

My work "party" actually ended up pretty fun last night. Two of my four bosses were borderline shitfaced by the time I left at like 6:30. I'm looking forward to the fact that two of them have kids getting married this summer. I'm totally comfortable getting blacked out with them, but I know my wife won't be.

CREIGHTON-NEBRASKA

Nearly forgot about Creighton v. Nebraska on Sunday afternoon. Always one of the games of the year in Nebraska. The atmosphere for these games was always electric. And although most CU fans root for Nebraska football (which is completely, and utterly retarded) there is some real hatred. It is very similar to the Wisconsin-Marquette rivalry. Especially since CU and MU don't have football. And NU-UW are the big state schools. Obviously, I'm on the opposite side of this rivalry. Generally, CU holds their own as they have the better basketball tradition and teams. Almost every game comes down to the last minute. Even though CU has sucked balls this year, I see the Phone Booth crowd of 17,000 carrying them to a tight win.

OFF SHORE GAMBLING

I'm not going to lie. The daily wagering posts have injected new life into the blog. I'm giddy reading about it. And I am super tempted to open an account of my own. And SportsBottle is openly daring me to do it. I love sports books more than just about anything. Obviously, I'm concerned about the legalities, and of losing my money. And getting divorced. The question I have is whether this site is going to end up being a gambling website, and whether the Dept. of Homeland Security will begin monitoring its content. Nobody is ever really able to decide whether or not these transactions are OK. I realize millions of people do it, and its probably pretty low on the list of government things to do. But millions also do drugs, and I definitely wouldn't run out and buy an eight ball.

Daily Wagering 12/5/09

Friday was disappointing, except I did bet on Davis Cup tennis. Rafael Nadal and David Ferrer won me a two team parlay for a $4.26 win.

Saturday is gonna be a big day for me, with many wagers. I've decided on a foolproof strategy, and by foolproof I mean automatic loss. I'm placing a large parlay on the heavy favorites straight up. Saturday it will be UCONN (-300), Louisiana Tech (-2000 which is unreal), USC (-300), California (-300), Wisconsin (-480), and Texas (-650). It's a $5 bet to win $12.35.

In other action I took Georgia Tech (+1) against Clemson. 5 to win 4.55. Florida (-3.5) against Alabama 7 to win 5. USC (-3.5) against Arizona 5 to win 2.55. And the Badgers (-12.5) 5 to win 8.13. I've found you can actually adjust the odds. For example, I could bet the Badgers at -9 if i wanted to, but I'd obviously be taking a smaller payout if I win. I dropped the original line of -13.5 to 12.5 causing me to give up a buck or two in payout.

At the request of my colleague I will keep you all posted on my progress. I started with $110.43 b/c my credit card thinks a transaction is more legit if it's for some random number. Currently I have $70.42 with $42 in pending wagers, meaning I have $112.42. I am up a whopping $1.99 over my first few days. With those pending wagers I have $100.02 in potential winnings. I have made some preliminary NFL bets, mainly sticking to my (non) foolproof plan.

Gambling lesson of the day. Let's take the Badger game as an example. I have shown the Badgers are -480, meaning they are a rather heavy favorite. The -480 is called the "money line" and it means I would have to bet $480 to win $100. Hawaii in that game is actually +380 which means I would win $380 with a bet of $100.

As a side note, I would highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys the sports books in Vegas. I have no idea how smoothly payouts go or anything like that, but it's fun as shit.

I will probably not have a pre-Sunday NFL post so stay tuned for an after Sunday update.

Enjoy your weekend.

Daily Bet

Two team parlay - Blackhawks straight up at -220 vs Predators and over 5.5 total goals - $5 to win $9.19

Bucks +4.5 at Pistons - $5 to win $4.54

In Vegas they would consider me a Whale.

X-Mas Spirit

One "party" down. One "party" to go. This afternoon is my work "party". This party is going to take place between 3 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, and is going to consist of appetizers and drinks. I'm not even kidding. Also, since I live 30 minutes from work, getting all fucked up is not an option. Not that getting all fucked up with people 30 years older than you is all that fun anyway, but I would like that to be an option. I would say the highlight of the party is that it is going to be free, and it will save me an hour and a half of pretending to work.

Saturday, it is my mission to put up the Christmas tree and rearrange the furniture in my living room to accommodate it. The biggest thing is that I have to carefully plan this around the smorgasbord of sports on television. My goal is to nip that shit in the bud before the SEC championship game. As bullshit as the rankings and the BCS is, I do realize that we in fact live in a society (Russia?) where this is about as big of a game as you can possibly get in college football. And it is #1 v. #2 for the chance to play in the fake (but at the same time all too real) championship. Bucky will be destroying a collection of athletes from a historically black college (Grambling) at noon, which I assume will be on the Big Ten network. This would seem to be an ideal time to get this decorating shit out of the way. The good thing about decorating the tree, is that other than putting the fake tree together and getting it correctly wired (pre-lit of course, so wiring consists of plugging all the sections together), I am not allowed to touch it. This is probably because I don't really give a shit about where the ornaments go, or which ones go on the tree, or whether every square inch is covered. The process of watching my wife decorate this stresses me the fuck out. Which typically leads to drinking.

Saturday night is going to culminate in Wisconsin interrupting their beach vacations to take on the Rainbow Warriors (yeah, I went there) of Hawaii. The game starts at TEN THIRTY (10:30) P.M.!!! Which is cruel and unusual. If I was in Vegas, it would be awesome to bet on this game with no other games to distract me (See Boise St./Hawaii in October). Instead, I will have to find a way to stay awake until 2 a.m. to see the end of a 40 point blowout. (Actually, I'm seeing 47-20 Bucky, Badgers rush for 300 plus). The only positive for all of you is that I can insert information into the T-3000 because this will be the last game, and the brackets can likely be revealed by Sunday morning for Juice's Dream NCAA D-I Football Get Together Presented by Astroglide.

Sunday will be a day of rest, and watching random NFL (seriously, if I am subjected to another fucking shitty Viking blowout I'm going to murder somebody. So you should probably steer clear on Sunday night) games (and that $5.99 a month for RedZone is making more and more sense to me every week). Monday, I get to try to slink out of work a few hours early so that I can belly up at Buffalo Wild Wings before Packers/Ravens.

Out.

Degenerate

Although I'm probably putting my entire financial future on the line, I finally made a difficult decision. I was actually choosing between two options, but I took the option that keeps a part of Vegas flowing within me. I dropped a hundy at BestUS.com. I have a couple friends who have done this for the past couple years and they've had no problems, but when I wasn't immediately authorized by my credit card company due to it being an international purchase, the red flags were not raised. I'm pretty sure some dude in the Bahamas just bought a cache of illegal arms off the black market with my credit card to fuel a civil war in some African country I've never heard of, but I did win $16 on the Kings game last night, so I don't care.

I wish I could have gotten a post in before the Badger/Duke game last night. I knew it would be close and was not at all surprised Bucky won. First of all, that was a HUGE homecourt advantage. The crowd was insane. Secondly, the two teams aren't that much different. Duke is not as athletic as they usually are, and they are much slower than people realize. The Badgers have the perfect offense for their talent, Duke does not. And Duke's big white guys are inept at this point in the season. Zoubek is completely useless and the others are all really young. Singler was the best player on the court along with Hughes, but, let's face it, he's white and thus can't be trusted. He doesn't create his own shot very well and he took some extremely retarded shots. Thirdly, the Badgers couldn't miss during the first 75% of the first half. They won't do that again the rest of the season and that's what won them the game.

Storming the court should be embarassing to any Badger fan. I hate Badger basketball and even I was embarassed.

Tiger Woods. I'm sure most conjecture about what actually happened is pretty close to the truth. A couple things are obvious. Tiger fucks other women. Period. And he's been doing it for awhile. Period. Elin knocked out those windows in a fit of rage, not some heroic effort to save her injured, adulterous husband. It's not any of my business. It's not any of your business. But we're beginning to realize he is not as smart as we all thought he was. If you're famous and are fucking random women, people are going to find out, and those random not famous women are gonna keep souvenirs. If you're famous and single there are a million things to be wary about. But if you're the most famous athlete in the world what are you thinking? Is Elin not hot enough? I'm not one to say just because a woman is hot there's nothing wrong with her. For every hot chick there's some dude who's sick of her shit. But, come on, do you think no one will notice? And you sound like a bitch in that voicemail message.

There are two ways to look at this. 1) This is a private issue and it's no one's business but Tiger's and his family's or 2) The whole "I didn't sign up for this" argument that Tiger uses is complete bullshit. This is exactly what you signed up for.

My opinion is a mix of the two. Tiger needs to be realistic. The media frenzy isn't a new phenomena. His "apology" on his website was fucking ridiculous. "I apologize to my family... but fuck the media. I can't believe they're doing this to me." This is what leads me to believe Tiger isn't as smart as I thought he was. But, if he doesn't want to explain himself at all, he doesn't have to and he shouldn't be compelled to. This IS a private issue. And people like Kornheiser who say he needs to publicly apologize need to explain to me why? Why does he need to publicly apologize? He didn't do anything wrong to the public. I am not emotionally damaged due to Tiger laying pipe all across the country, allegedly. He doesn't owe me anything. I will try not to jump on my soapbox when talking about public apologies, but it's a simple case of Tiger not actually being sorry, but being sorry he got caught. A public apology means nothing.

I'm seriously tempted to start my own public relations company, specializing in situations like this. It will be the easiest job ever, because managing situations like this consists of one easy step. Get out ahead of the issue by telling the truth (or at least a version of it) and ride out the storm. All these fucking dipshits who advise these celebrities like A-Rod are comple idiots. Andy Pettite is the perfect example. Any public official or celebrity should follow his lead. Admitting your mistake takes the wind out of the sails of entities such as TMZ. Because when you're evasive they will come with their claws out and they'll end up finding much more dirt than they would otherwise. Tiger should simply have made a very vague reference to the whole incident with his wife and blamed it on his misgivings. Very simple. But when an apology goes something like this "I'm very sorry for what I've done but........" then that person is not actually sorry. Tiger has been the king of the world for a long time. He feels he doesn't need to be sorry.

Daily sports bet - 2 team parlay - Celtics+1.5 at San Antonio and Nuggets -9 at home vs Miami - $5 to win $13.

China Is Awesome

In case you missed it:

Holiday Tailgate

So I guess I have a Holiday Tailgating party tonight. My wife's employer is having their holiday party, but due to the tough economic times, they are having a strange one. We are gathering at a local sports bar for a buffet with tailgating fare to watch the Jets v. Bills tonight. I'm going to do my best to get them to put on the "Civil War" game between Oregon and Oregon St since it will probably be better. Either way, it is going to be a tad awkward. Especially since I can pretty much guarantee that there will be a total of zero people giving a shit who wins the game, and a total of one person (me) who will even pay the slightest attention. The biggest downfall of this party is that I won't be allowed to get drunk, which will suck. I am going to eat as much as I possibly can, I can tell you that much. All told, as awkward as tonight might be, it will be a marked improvement over the party every other year. Except last year, when they had casino night. That was pretty cool.

NFL PICKS

Last Week: 6-10
Season: 74-76-1
All-Time: 208-202-3

NYJ (-3), Cin (-13), Den (-5), Hou (Pk), Pit (-14.5), Car (-6.5), Ind (-7), NO (-9.5), NE (-5.5), St.L (+9), Phi (-5.5), SD (-13), Sea (Pk), NYG (+2.5), Ari (+5.5), GB (-3)

BUCKY

Well, color me shocked. Bucky looked GREAT last night. Not perfect, but really, really good. And that wasn't a lucky win (despite starting out on fire). They generally were on par with Duke. Duke is not that much better despite being the fifth most popular team in the nation. It was pretty much Singler against UW last night. Trevon Hughes is winning me over, even though he is old enough to be my dad. He forces too much sometimes, but he is clutch when it matters (unlike Bohanan who missed approximately 40 wide open threes last night). And the Big Ten won the "challenge"! Holy. Shit.

As an aside, storming the court was an embarrassment. Was it big win? You bet. But c'mon now. You've been to the tournament like every year for a decade. You probably beat a top 10 team every year. There is no excuse for storming the court. I've expounded on this before, please refer to "Storming the Court Etiquette". Please, stop. You are pretty much proving to Duke that you think they are that much better than you.

Duck Fook

Did I mention I hate Duke? Like alot? Like possibly more than any other sports team, professional or college? It is not a hatred based on a rivalry though. It is a hatred due to class. And a hatred generally based on jealousy. A hate because Duke has had everything that Wisconsin has never had. Duke has a pick of nearly any player they want in the country, every year. Sure, they have to battle North Carolina, Kentucky, Kansas, etc. for those players, but there are plenty to go around. Wisconsin has to do just about everything right, and have just about everything to go their way in order to be a Top 10 team. At one point, it didn't even seem possible that they could ever do it. But, it was shown in a March run in 2000 and in a number one ranking a few years back that it could be done. But if it happens once every 10 years, we are extremely fortunate. Duke is in the position to do it every, single, year. And if it doesn't happen, they are disappointed. The only other team I can compare them to is the Yankees. Unlimited funds to do with however you please, an expectation of championships, crazy room for error. And if it doesn't work, you can just throw more money at the problem. It is something that Wisconsin will probably never have the luxury of. Not that Wisconsin doesn't have lots at its disposal, it is one of the largest collegiate sports programs in the country, and has a great arena and fan base. But it is not a historic power. It will never be Duke. So fuck Duke.

The other problem with Duke is that they are dicks about it. Their players are annoying. Coach K puts on this facade that he is a great human (and he probably mostly is) but then he is on the sidelines reportedly using the worst language anyone has ever heard (which, I fully support, but don't be fake about it). Their fans are annoying rich kids. They are basically everything Wisconsin isn't. So fuck Duke.

This is a matchup that Wisconsin fans have been wishing for for a long time. A chance to get the mighty Blue Devils at the Kohl Center. The problem is, this game is happening at a terrible time for Wisconsin. Bucky does not have the athletes to keep up with Duke. Duke probably has 12 guys that would start for just about any Big Ten team. Wisconsin probably has 4 guys that could play for Duke. The Kam Taylor, Alando Tucker Badgers would have had a good chance at beating Duke. But short of a perfect game, I don't see UW pulling this one out. The Grateful Red will keep this one close. The Badgers have to play their game, which is to slow it down, and get back in transition. If Bucky can make their shots (not an easy task) and keep Duke out of transition (historically impossible), they have a chance. But I think Duke wins by about 15. So fuck Duke.

OTHER STUFF

-Anyone hear the Tiger voicemail? Pretty good stuff. If I wasn't so lazy, I would find audio and link to it.

-Does ESPN have a contract where they are required to show kids dying of cancer every other month. There is nothing I would rather watch less. At least they give sufficient warning, but sometimes I'm in my morning fog and its ten minutes in and they are talking about some kid having his fucking eye amputated before I realize what is happening.