Another reason why I love Jews and their security

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080910/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_israel_dancer_1

Make 'em dance to determine if they are really terrorists.

I like the sentence "one of the officers even went so far as to suggest he should change his last name." I bet Officer A. does that everytime he pulls over a Muslim in rural _____ County.

Tarvaieroueous Comes Through

I just want to start out by thanking Travaroueues Jackson for existing (don't ever change), and for Brad Childress for starting him at quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings.  I knew in the end Trarvariuss would remember who he is when it counted most.   I would like to put up a gigantic middle finger to Jared Allen, Pat Williams, Darren Sharper, Ryan Longwell, Zigi Wulff and any other Viking related asshole that has been talking trash for the past six months about what they were going to do to the Packers in this game.

 

Now that I've done away with those pleasantries, let me give you a quick run down of how yesterday went for me.  About 1 p.m., I was sitting at my desk minding my own business (literally,  I think I was plotting some roster move in fantasy football) when my lovely wife calls and suggests we try to go to the game.  This was the first conversation we had about it, 5 hours before kickoff.  I spent about a half hour checking around, calling sketchos on "Craigslist" who had posted less than a half hour ago that they had tickets but had already sold them.  I finally found some reasonably priced tickets with a reputable broker and pulled the trigger.  Next, I had to figure out how I was going to get out of work early, seeing as I'm the lowest of low men on the totem pole, and I hadn't really done any actual work that day.  I pseudo snuck out the back door and squealed out of the parking lot to get home.

 

Once we both got home from work, I quickly threw on my green A.J. Hawk jersey and rolled out the door by about 3:30.  We are on our way to the game and the fucking ticket broker calls to tell us that they kinda, sorta sold our tickets that we bought, FOUR TIMES OVER.  After some finagling, and the wrath of my wife, they were able to get us tickets for $5 more, which is still bullshit, but we had tickets.

 

The atmosphere was pretty typical for a game, except it was kind of warm out which I'm not used to.  Couple of things I found interesting regarding the crowd itself: 1) It has been awhile since I've been to a Packer-Viking game, but there seemed to be a larger number of Viking fans than normal.  I think there were alot of market factors that went into play on that, however.  With the he who shall not be named situation, there were a flood of people unloading tickets in April and May for ridiculous amounts of money.  Also, ticket brokers ended up with a larger number than normal of them, and had to unload them on the cheap to recoup their funds.  So this led to more tickets being readily available on the secondary market.  There were alot of private people trying to get rid of them around town too, because it was a weird time (6:00 pm locally), there was a chance of rain, and people are fucking stupid.  So Viking fans were able to scoop up some extra ducats.  2) There were a shitload of he who shall not be named Jets jerseys at the game.  And actually there were far more than he who shall not be named Packer jerseys, which was surprising.  The wife and I had a conversation about it and came to a couple of important conclusions.  First, we realized that the he who shall not be named jersey was the number one seller because everyone in Green Bay apparently bought one, not New York.  Second, the dipshits that bought the jerseys to "send a message" to the Packer organization are dumb.  The Packers don't care if you show up naked as long as you a) spend between $60 and $500 on a game ticket, $50 on beer and $25 on food.  Plus its not as if these people just showed up and stayed silent.  They rooted for the Packers.  Just dumb.  3)  We had this moron behind us who was just angry at life and bitched and argued with everyone about everything.  He was even screaming at his elderly father to shut the fuck up, and called him stupid.  He made my brother and Bear seem like rays of sunshine by comparison.  I'm quite certain my brother would have gotten into a fistfight with the guy by the 13:00 mark of the 1st quarter. 4) There was a dude with a red mullet the row over.

 

As for the game itself, it was a really big win.  A Rodg played well, added the element of the run (which our last QB didn't have).  The penalties have to stop.  It was insane how much laundry was on the field.  Also, the Packers are lucky they didn't get fucked by the two extremely bad decisions McCarthy made: 1) whatever the fuck he was doing at the end of the 1st half when he didn't take a shot in the endzone with :25 left and 2) running up the middle on 3rd and 11 with their backup RB late in the 4th.  Otherwise, I can't complain much.  I don't think the Pack played great by any means, but well enough to beat an inferior and clearly overrated team with a shitty QB.  In the end Trevrarieaus was who we thought he was.

Running game blog!

So Jaws, Cornheiser and their crony start out immediately talking about how Favre won yesterday and threw two touchdowns so now there's so much more pressure on Rodgers than there was before yesterday. First of all, I highly doubt that he could get more pressure heaped on him, and second of all, how quickly did people forget that the Jets were 15 yards away from losing to the fucking 1-15 last year Dolphins? I wouldn't call that a great game from the Jets, they beat the Dolphins twice last year thusly I am deducing that so far Brett Favre has not been an improvement over Clemons and Pennington

Adrian Peterson scares the shit out of me tonight, I don't why but I feel like our run defense is going to be a lot more suspect this year than it was last year and it really wasn't that great last year

Of course the first commercial break after the game announcers give their pre-game spiel is a Brett Favre Wrangler commercial, I highly doubt that was a mere coincidence.

Jaws brilliantly predicts the first play from scrimmage is going to be a gimme pass for Rodgers.

Well, I don't feel like that series was Rodgers fault, but it definitely stalled, great punt by Frost, hopefully that works out for us.

Here comes the Vikes offense, I predict a LOT of ADP tonight after the media shit all over Childress last year for basically taking him out of the game last year.

Nice, we just got lucky with a holding call from Vikes that pretty much negated Peterson's run on first down.

Tavarious is by far the dumbest sounding of the four players that announced the starting lineup, and that group includes Jared Allen.

Perfectly executed inside stunt nets Kampman the first Packer sack of the year and kills the Queens drive.

Colledge has a false start, you can almost hear his waiver papers being processed from the Packers front office, I'm sure he'll last until his rookie contract is up though.

Perfect execution by Brandon Jackson, fumbling the ball forward to Greg Jennings so that he can pick it up for the first down, gutsy move to keep the drive alive.

After the 4th penalty in a row on the Packs O-line, the ref almost seemed reluctant to call the penalty, I think he seriously considered just waving it off, calling second down and moving on.

Another good sideline angled punt from Frost, he is shaping up to be our only highlight of the night, good hang, good coverage, immediately swallowed up the returner.

ADP delivers a crushing vengeance filled blow to Al Harris before stepping out of bounds, that just reeks of payback from last years hit that hurt Peterson for a few weeks. EDIT: I was correct in my assessment here.

After a frightening drive powered mostly behind Peterson, the Queens have to settle for a field goal, I'll definitely take it.

Ah, beautiful to see Mr. Longwell kicking it to the 15 yard line for a team other than the one I'm cheering for, he's such a liability as far as a kicker goes, Longwell's cap number for this year is 2 and a quarter million, Mason Crosby's is 400k.

Greg Jennings fantastic fucking play over the safety, makes a 60 yard catch down to the 5, and immediately the OMG that was a Brett Favre-esque play starts from Jaws and Cornhole.

Rodgers is looking like shit down here at the goal line and got bailed out twice by the Queens D. Make that three times. Wow, Childress needs to get his D to figure out how to draw a straight line.

Why in the fuck are we trying to run up the middle against the Williams brothers and EJ Henderson? And thank you we finally run off tackle and gain 5 yards, wow go figure...

Korey "I had no idea he could catch" Hall just made an amazing diving catch to bail Rodgers out big time, fantastic, I am pumped up now and immediately yelled at TJ about how that was such a great Favre-esque throw, my joking turned into hilarity when Cornhole immediately repeated what I just yelled out in jest.

I went and smoked a cig and came back to watch Crosby boot through a field goal, 10-3 Pack.

Somehow Al Harris, for once in his career, avoided a pretty blatant pass interference call. I think a team could make a gameplan out of just throwing deep on Harris and hoping for pass interference calls, they'd probably be fairly successful.

Two minute drill coming up for Rodgers, Queens blitz hard on third down, we picked it up and Rodgers hit Jennings open for a 15 yard gain, following that he just lasered a slant pattern pass in for another first down and we are inside the Queens 40.

Rodgers gets pressured and flies down the sideline for a 20 yard gain, we're inside the 15 with a couple timeouts and some time. For some god awful reason the Packers decide to settle for a field goal and have it blocked... And for some other terrible reason the Vikings tried to keep the ball alive by blindly lateraling the ball to each other inside their own 20 yard line.

The second half starts and Tavarious takes off for like a 20 yard scamper and gets tackled by Nick Collins, who takes him down like a parent putting their child to bed at night. Which leads to the conversation of should Jackson have slid there and Jaws immediately says, oh no absolutely not. I guarantee if Bigby had hit Jackson there Jaws woulda been singing a different song.

Somehow Al Harris makes a first down, possibly touchdown saving tackle on ADP. Field goal for Benedict Longwell(I'm glad he's gone so I shouldn't call him Benedict).

Tony Moll, ineligible man downfield negates a 70 yard touchdown by Donald Driver, WHAT THE FUCK MAN. Then we run a fucking draw, god damn this shit. This is gonna lose us this fucking game, mark it down right here, right now. FUCK.

Good penalty, we got the Queens pinned deep, hopefully we get the ball back. Shiancoe just caught the ball, hit the ground and lost the football and we recovered. It got ruled incomplete but now it's being challenged. I would venture to say that this was a catch and not a fumble and it will give the Vikes a big gain, but I'm going to smoke a cig so I'll have no idea.

Childress's willingness to abandon any gameplan involving Adrian Peterson has cost the Queens yet again, and WILL MY FOOT IS FINALLY NOT SHATTERED BLACKMON RETURNS THE KLUWE PUNT, 17-6 Pack. WHOOOO. That thing was a line drive and Blackmon had plenty of space to get out and run, what a pretty return.

KGB makes a sweet play look terrible by jumping offsides and keeping the drive alive for the Queens, now Jackson scrambles, Tramon Williams has 3 defenders behind him and decides to run away from Jackson and let him get the first down. Now Peterson gets another first down on a bitch ass draw play of which the Queens were conceding the field goal. Bullshit. Toughen up defense.

Sidney Rice, touchdown, wide open, 4th and 1, you could see it was a pass from a mile away, the Queens didn't have a power running package in, they were passing, huge breakdown in the secondary over the middle. Boooo, at least the conversion failed.

Update: Tom Brady is out for the year, that's old news but still fun.

Ryan Grant looked strong on a nice 4 yard run for first down, if we run up the middle anymore this game I'm going to shoot McCarthy in the face. Just as I say that we run a stretch play that got torn apart by Greenway. Two passes on second and third down that combined for a total of 4 yards in the air result in another 4th down. Don't you have to look past the first down line at least once on second and third down? Terrible play calling. At least our punt coverage has been good and the Queens start inside their own 20.

Peterson has a nice 7 yard run taken back by a holding penalty called on one of the 6 former Bears wide receivers currently on the Queens roster. Peterson gets 10 yards on a fucking 5 yard comeback route that there is no fucking way the 5 Packers sitting in the zone behind him didn't see, that's terrible, how can you not cover the running back in the flat playing a soft zone like that, you're pushing your secondary out prematurely to take away plays to the outside, you have to think they'll look back inside. Jesus.

Whew, we got lucky because Childress once again abandoned Adrian Peterson, sure we may have gotten away with a little interfernce, but the Queens are punting.

Fantastic break away run by Ryan Grant, he looked strong. Pack down to the 2, they better not run up the fucking middle. Jackson gets blown up because he's terrible, but the Queens had 12 men on the field so we get to try again at the 1. Horrible call with Rodgers trying to sneak it in from the 1, but I find myself saying do it again on second down. We do, touchdown, Lambeau leap for Rodgers and the Pack is up 24 - 12. I predicted to my co-workers today that the score would be 24 - 13, how unfortunate it was that the Queens went for two, I would have been a god. Finally someone in the booth admits that Favre beat a shitty team on Sunday.

Tramon Williams just made the worst fucking play I've ever seen, this shit was Ahmad Carroll-esque, he just put his hands straight down and ran right into Sidney Rice. How fucking long have you played corner back man? How is this a good idea? What the fuck man, just run with the receiver, it was a bad pass, he's not catching it, you suck. Luckily the Queens are taking their sweet ass time here and running the clock out for us.

The Queens wide outs are absolutely atrocious. Cullen Jenkins is down, looks like just a cramp, thank god, we can't afford to lose any D tackles this early or else we'll end up having to sign Grady Jackson in week 8. I just called a draw play up the middle for the touchdown after a fucking HORRIBLE defensive performance by the Packers. WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING OUT THERE. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Onside kick, hits a Packer and goes out of bounds, we get possession. Jaws had the BRILLIANT insight that once it hits Bigby, THAT'S A LIVE BALL. No shit Jaws? Pretty sure it's a live ball as soon as it gets 10 yards, but then I guess you're the intelligent announcer and I'm just some idiot blogging on my couch.

We just had a terrible fucking penalty. 3rd and 11, 2:29, HOW THE FUCK DO WE NOT PASS THE BALL HERE? What does it save us? Maybe 20 seconds after the pass play and the punt? If it's complete we win the game. And we get stuffed and are punting the ball after the 2 minute warning. I want to vomit.

Somehow Barnett doesn't get called for a horse collar on Peterson after the catch, wow that was lucky. 1:08 left. Bigby picks the ball off, falls down, GETS THE FUCK BACK UP FOR SOME GOD AWFUL REASON, but then he gets tackled, thank fucking god.

Packers win...

Here's a parting gift for everyone out there in TV Land.



See if you can put together the significance of that little screenshot of our waiver wire in Juice's fantasy league.

Wow, part II

This may be my final season of fantasy football, football pools and gambling on the NFL forever. I don't even know where to begin. The shitty ass Bears beat the heavily favored Colts in Indianopolis. Fast Willie scores as many TD's in the first game as his entire 2007 total (and I fucking let him go). The Falcons and Bills are suddenly playoff contenders. Tennesse controls Jacksonville for the win. I am under .500 this week in my pool, and that is straight up with no lines!

My ff team is about as shitty as it gets and I don't see it getting any better (despite the 20 fucking random moves I will be making over the next 24 hours). If anybody has a starting running back that can generate more than 10 points a game, please make me an offer. I will take nearly anything. MJD has suddenly fallen off the planet. Rudi Johnson and Julius Jones are backups, at best. My only hope is that Marion Barber is injured bad enough to keep him out, then Felix Jones can get some more carries.

As mentioned on the ff website, the Shaun Alexander waiver continues to fuck people over. (Over the next couple of years, I predict everybody will be impaced by this move in a negative way at least once). I would be better off flipping a coin in my pool than analyzing the matchups and logically trying to make a pick. My fantasy team will start out 0-7, and in the eighth week I might get matched up against one of those guys who quits putting in starting rosters and I will get my first win.

To sum it up, everything sucks in my football world, including Wyoming who was destroyed and dominated by Air Force. My only hope is that my high school team won on Friday. I think I will look it up.

Wow

Tom Brady looks like he's probably done for the year.  There are so many different emotions happening at the same time that it feels weird.  My first reaction was joy.  This is likely a sad reflection of my status as a human being.  However, the emotion wasn't towards Brady himself.  He seems like a fine enough individual, and even though I dislike him because next to Derek Jeter he probably has the best life of any human being on planet earth and karma is a dirty slut; I don't wish harm to him.  I do wish harm upon Patriot fan, and really Boston fans as a group.  They are fucking annoying, and feel entitled to all the success they have.  So the joy came from tasting the tears of all the douches with their Sawx hats and Drew Bledsoe jerseys on.  The next reaction was to laugh.  I laugh because fucking Bear, whom I can't trust further than I can throw, fucking unloaded Brady the day before for 75 cents on the dollar.  It was like he knew.  I also laugh because my brother was on the receiving end of that kick in the nuts.  Now not only does he not have Brady, but he doesn't have Reggie Wayne (or Matt Cassell for that matter, who was scooped up by Schmock). 

 

What I wished for so hard last season finally happened, but I feel a little cheated.  I wish they could've got off to like 9-0 and THEN broke his knee into a million pieces.  Then I wouldn't feel cheated.

 

Other thoughts on the weekend that was: 1) What the fuck happened with the Bears/Colts, Panthers/Chargers?  The Bears looked an awful lot like that shitty Super Bowl team two years ago.  2) What I remember of the Brewer game Saturday was pretty awesome.  Two straight CG shutouts for Sheets when I go.  Had the best seats I've ever had.  Had I been allowed to purchase a beer in the 8th (fucking fascists) I might have punched the fat bitch in front of me in the face over the foul ball that came into my section.  3) Had a mind blowing hangover yesterday, even though the party was pretty weak (bed by 1) by most standards.  Part of the hangover may have been caused by having to put together patio furniture.

 

Finally, my pants are positively jumping with delight right now.  I swear that I could smell brats when I crossed the bridge near Lambeau on my way to work.  GO PACK GO!

 

 

Top 25 Week 2

1. East Carolina 2-0 LW(3)
2. Alabama 2-0 (1)
3. Vanderbilt 2-0 (NR)
4. Tulsa 2-0 (NR)
5. Missouri 2-0 (2)
6. Wake Forest 2-0 (5)
7. Utah 2-0 (8)
8. Oklahoma St. 2-0 (10)
9. Texas 2-0 (15)
10. Cal 2-0 (20)
11. Northwestern 2-0 (NR)
12. Kentucky 2-0 (7)
13. TCU 2-0 (9)
14. Florida 2-0 (13)
15. Auburn 2-0 (14)
16. Wisconsin 2-0 (16)
17. Kansas 2-0 (17)
18. Oregon 2-0 (18)
19. Nebraska 2-0 (21)
20. Texas Tech 2-0 (NR)
21. BYU 2-0 (NR)
22. South Florida 2-0 (NR)
23. Georgia Tech 2-0 (NR)
24. Uconn 2-0 (NR)
25. USC 1-0 (4)

Droppped Out: UCLA (6), Boston College (11), Fresno St. (12), South Carolina (19), Georgia (22), Ohio St. (23), Oklahoma (24), LSU (25)

Weekend Preview

BIG weekend coming up.  Since there is a Packer game on Monday (fucking finally), and I'm not doing shit at work again today,  I am going to consider this a four day weekend.  It's just too bad I think my bosses would frown on me drinking at my desk. 

 

The weekend is extra special, not only because of the return of the greatest sport on planet earth (and the ass raping I am about to give Twinkie in Fantasy Football) but because there is the magical two words that every red blooded male loves to hear happening tomorrow: "Bachelor Party".  This isn't going to be any run of the mill bachelor party.  We are taking a coach bus down to Milwaukee for tomorrow night's Brewer-Father tilt.  The only down side is the Crew is playing like a fucking little league team right now.  In the last four games, I think its pretty safe to say that the starting pitching has sucked, the bullpen has sucked, we can't hit, we can't field.  That's not a very winning combination.  The plus side is I will be blacked out by the first pitch anyway so it won't matter.  The drinking is to begin at 12:30.  No fucking WAY do I make it till 2 a.m. without passing out in a gutter.

 

I will be missing the Wisconsin-Marshall (WE ARE MARSHALL!) game on Saturday for the most part.  Hopefully I'll catch about a half or so.  Badgers didn't look great last week, but as far as Marshall goes, Randy Moss, Chad Pennington and Byron Leftwich ain't walking through that door.  And unless they do, the Herd doesn't have a chance against Bucky.  I'm feeling UW 42, Marshall 13.

 

My prediction for Sunday is that I will be near death until I go to bed.  I will watch the NFL games with one eye half open between bouts of vomiting.

 

Monday night is going to be ridiculous.  My life always seems to have more meaning with each new  Packer season.  This is a particularly big game, because the Queens appear to be the Packers main competition for the division.  (Random Packer story:  A friend of my wife's friend (and not her pizza delivery boy, because that would be fucking stupid and unbelievable) used to fuck Frank Walker (better known as the key free agent acquisition that turned the Packers from 8-8 to 13-3).  While this was happening, my wife's friend would sit and wait with Al Harris.  Walker and this chick met at Target.  This is totally true as far as I know it.  Also, true, this friend of my wife had met Javon Walker at the club that Nick Barnett used to own, and said that he was so dumb that he could barely talk.  Finally, Al Harris said Charles Woodson likes to dress up like a stuffed animal and rub up against things.))  I think Monday will be a defensive battle, because both D's are the strength of the team, and because Tavaryioueuses Jackson blows.  Its going to come down to special teams, and I give the edge to Mason Crosby over Benedict Longwell, but only because Longwell will be distracted because of his growling stomach, because there is nowhere to eat but Applebees in GB.  Pick: GB 17, Queens 14.

 

 

Stealing from Bill Simmons

This is really lazy of me, and I've been making sort of a habit of outwardly stealing things lately, but ESPN's Bill Simmons returned after about a 36 month hiatus (still nowhere near as long as Loaf Cobra), and reminded me why I've always liked him when he wrote these two passages.

 

Prediction No. 7: Minnesota will not make the playoffs

Knowing I was headed to Vegas last July, my buddy Geoff (a die-hard Vikes fan) asked me to put $50 on them to win the Super Bowl. I tried to talk him out of it because, you know, Tarvaris Jackson was involved. He persisted. The last time Geoff sounded that fired up, it was when he visited me in L.A. and forced me take him to the street off Sunset Boulevard where they filmed the last 45 minutes of "Halloween."

(Random tangent: Lauren, Lo and Audrina from "The Hills" moved to this same street last year and nearly destroyed the Irony Scale as we knew it. With the exception of Spencer and Heidi, have any three real-life celebs ever been more in Michael Myers' wheelhouse? I vote for another "Halloween" remake in which Myers becomes famous from the previous killings and lands on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," escapes (but not before brutally murdering Mary Carey and Jeff Conaway), immediately goes to Don Antonio's to kill Spencer and Heidi, then follows Lauren and her friends around Hollywood for a night of club-hopping, finally going back to their street at 2 a.m. to kill Audrina and Justin Bobby as they're hooking up in Audrina's guest house, then Lo as she's plowing into a carton of ice cream in the kitchen, culminating in a 30-minute sequence in which he tries to kill L.C. and repeatedly fails until Dr. Drew shoots him down in the final scene. By the way, I would absolutely watch this movie. I won't apologize, either. Back to the column.)

So what happened? I ended up not making the bet after finding out the odds were 10-to-1. Geoff got mad, I didn't care. Sometimes you have to stick to principles in life and here's one of them: Fifty bucks to win $500 on either 24-year-old Tarvaris Jackson or 37-year-old Gus Frerotte winning a Super Bowl is not a bet that should be made, ever, under any circumstances. Nobody can convince me otherwise. Anyway, I had the Vikes missing the playoffs even before valuable left tackle Bryant McKinnie got suspended for the first four games: at Green Bay (Monday night), Indy, Carolina, at Tennessee. And they're playing in New Orleans on a Monday night for Week 5. Throw in the potential of a sophomore jinx with Adrian Peterson and that's enough for me.

 

Prediction No. 8: Green Bay will win the NFC North by three games.

Fact: I have been to Wisconsin three times since 1994 and the locals only cared about four things -- Favre, eating, drinking and the Packers. In that exact order.

Fact: For all we know, Aaron Rodgers is the next Kyle Boller.

Fact: Rodgers will have more pressure on him in Week 1 -- Monday night, ESPN, Lambeau Field, Vikings-Packers -- than any American has faced since John F. Kennedy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. OK, I'm exaggerating. But not by much.

So why do I think the Packers will be fine? Because you can win 11 or 12 games with a below-average QB as long as his supporting cast is really good. (See: Grossman, Rex.) Well, I like this Packers team. It can survive even if Rodgers flounders for a few weeks. Which he probably will. As long as he doesn't have a nervous breakdown -- and I'm not ruling that out -- the Packers can finish 11-5 or 10-6.

END OF SIMMONS

On a side note, I didn't do anything at work today.  Also, I've seen/heard two people in the past two days pick the Pack to go to (and lose) the NFC Championship.  Finally, Tavarieauous Jackson sucks my testicles.  A Peter is over-rated.  I think Bear got worked over in the Brady/Coles for Rothliesberger/Wayne trade.  He got badly needed depth at wideout, but turned my brother into a sleeping giant.  He now has a proven QB to go along with solid WR/RB.  Bear is definitely sleeping with Belichick and has inside info on Brady's foot injury.

Worthless, Uninformed and Biased Picks

@NYG (-4) over Was

@Atl (+3) over Det

@Buf (Even) over Sea

NYJ over @ Mia (+3)

@NE (-16.5) over KC

@NO (-3) over TB

@Phi (-7.5) over StL

@Pit (-6.5) over Hou

Jax over @ Ten (+3)

@Bal (-1.5) over Cin

@SD (-9) over Car

@SF (+2.5) over Ari

@Cle (+5.5) over Dal

@Ind (-9.5) over Chi

@GB (-2.5) over Min

@Oak (+3) over Den

 

Join in one and all!

Lack of a Better Alternative?

I know this didn't cost the Brewers a game last night, but there is another disturbing trend brewing with our manager Neddy.  Two games in a row, in a tie game, he has run out Guillermo Mota and Eric Gagne.  Last night, both pitched fairly well.  The night before, Gagne burned the place down.  When is he going to realize that these are not reliable major league pitchers?  This bullshit "vote of confidence" he gave Gagne last night is what keeps me up at night.  How many games is he going to let them combine to blow?  I bet the number is at least 10 already.  Gagne's ERA is hovering around 6.50, which is awful.  Yet Yost continues to throw him out there when the game is in doubt.  Does anyone know what is wrong with Seth McClung?  Is he dead?  Is he the anti-Rickie Weeks?  Maybe he got a little too close to Ned in the shower last week or something?  He was arguably the third best pitcher on the team while he was in the starting rotation, and only got put in the pen because of the Sabathia trade, and Ned's torrid love affair with Dave Bush.  And he has pitched like twice since.  He's got to be better than Mota/Gagne right?  Does anyone think we have a snowballs chance in hell to win in the playoffs (assuming we get there) if our starter doesn't go 8 innings?

The First Semi-Enjoyable Thing I've Ever Read About NASCAR

Just in case you wanted to know what makes Tony Stewart get up every morning: "Pussy, money and race cars. That's pretty much all I care about."

It gets even better.
The only thing Stewart enjoys more than a race car and a fight, it seems, is women. Over the course of a race weekend, he's approached by dozens of them, each more long-legged, doe-eyed and blond than the last. Inside the NASCAR bubble, these gals are called "pit lizards," and they prowl the inner sanctum at tracks throughout the year.
"My parents are afraid my dick's gonna rot off," Stewart says.

Which leads into perhaps the greatest dialogue in racing history:

At a late-night fuel stop during the flight to the Phoenix race, he meets two girls, who look to be in their early 20s, working the front desk at the airport lounge in Salina, Kansas.
"Take us with you, Tony?" one of them says as he grabs a chocolate-chip cookie from a tray on the counter.
"Depends," he says, taking a bite. "You gals 18 yet?"
"Why you want to know that?" one girl asks.
"Well, we ain't just flying up there, darling," he says, winking at me. "We'll be taking pictures and hanging out and all sorts of stuff."

Completely Insane Top 25

I've been randomly doing this for awhile now. Here is my Top 25 list after one game. I think the real polls and the BCS are generally crocks of shit. I am willing to admit there are folks who know alot more than I do, especially with the talent level and potential of given teams. Those opinions have almost no weight in my poll. Weight is given only as a starting point for consideration because there are well over 100 teams and I don't really have time to analyze all of them. My poll takes into account who you play, where you play them and if you won. After one game, my poll is pretty fucked up, but ends up looking alot like the "real" polls by the end of the year. The message I have is: Why reward a team for playing a I-AA team? Eventually, "Number 1" Georgia will move up, but in my opinion Alabama's neutral site win against a "Top 10" team was the most impressive win so far.

1. Alabama 1-0
2. Missouri 1-0
3. East Carolina 1-0
4. USC 1-0
5. Wake Forest 1-0
6. UCLA 1-0
7. Kentucky 1-0
8. Utah 1-0
9. TCU 1-0
10. Oklahoma St. 1-0
11. Boston College 1-0
12. Fresno St. 1-0
13. Florida 1-0
14. Auburn 1-0
15. Texas 1-0
16. Wisconsin 1-0
17. Kansas 1-0
18. Oregon 1-0
19. South Carolina 1-0
20. Cal 1-0
21. Nebraska 1-0
22. Georgia 1-0
23. Ohio St. 1-0
24. Oklahoma 1-0
25. LSU 1-0