Sunday, August 29, 2010

It is what it is

I haven't written much, because I've just lost the time and desire to do it. One thing that I will continue to slap up here is NCAA Top 25, all in advance of Juice's Dream NCAA D-I Football Get Together. Because that can't ever stop. Also, quickly here is my NFL preview

NFC EAST

Cowboys, Redskins, Eagles, Giants

NFC WEST

49ers, Seahawks, Cardinals, Rams

NFC NORTH

Packers, Vikings, Lions, Bears

NFC SOUTH

Saints, Falcons, Panthers, Bucs

AFC EAST

Patriots, Dolphins, Jets, Bills

AFC WEST

Chargers, Chiefs, Broncos, Raiders

AFC NORTH

Ravens, Steelers, Bengals, Brown

AFC SOUTH

Colts, Texans, Jags, Titans

Wild Card Round
NFC

Falcons over Cowboys
Redskins over 49ers

AFC

Chargers over Texans
Dolphins over Ravens

Divisional Round

Packers over Redskins
Saints over Falcons

Pats over Dolphins
Chargers over Colts

Conference Championships

Packers over Saints
Pats over Chargers

Super Bowl

Packers over Pats


YIKES

Monday, August 16, 2010

By Popular Demand

I've been requested to give a recap of the only thing more boring than people talking about their fantasy football teams, and/or previewing fantasy football games: someone else's fantasy football draft.

But first, this quick aside. Madden '11. Vikings at Packers. 2nd quarter. He goes down with a torn PCL. Nice.

FRIDAY NIGHT

-Mark, my brother and I meet out at a bar for dinner. We eat, have a few beers. Mark needs to go to the grocery store. We end up deciding once in for all that we are making Ron Ron Juice. I'd like to jump in on myself here and point out that the three of us are 29, 26 and 29 years old respectively. And are not teenage girls. Ok, my brother and I both had vodka on the ready, so we needed the juice and fruit. We bought it. Went back to play Mark's arcade machine, drink Kul Lite (no umlaut available on Blogger). About 2 am I died.

SATURDAY

I went home to shower. While cleaning myself, Richard asked my wife out on a date for bloody mary's. Fucking prick. He gracefully invited me. We go to Stadium View at 10:00 am. Richard's car nearly gets towed because it is a game day. They were charging to park NINE HOURS before a PRESEASON GAME. And people were paying. And tailgating. This happens nowhere else on earth, I can promise you. We have a couple of drinks and head over for some drafting. Start pounding Horny Goat beer. It is good. Finally everyone arrives. We draft. Duper/Spensely managed to draft Ben Tate, who went out for the year that very evening. Which is funny as shit. Some other questionable picks were had, and the popular quote to take away was "Any time you can get a running back that splits carries with two other running backs, you probably need to draft him."

SATURDAY NIGHT

And now things get sketchy. It is decided after the draft that it is time for Ron Ron Juice. It was delicious. Then the Packers started. Well, the offense did anyway. Defense, not so much. I'm teetering on black out by like 8 pm., so what is the next step? You guessed it. Let's go to the bars. All I can really tell you about the bars is at some point we end up at either the gayest straight bar on earth, or the straightest gay bar. It had stripper poles, and it also had nothing but guys in it. Anyway, prior to this draft, my wife felt it would be a good idea to set up one of my friends with one of her friends. And when I tell you it was a disaster of epic proportions, I wouldn't be even close to adequately describing the carnage. In no particular order, the following occurred: guy having to be coaxed into talking to girl, girl ignoring him, awkward conversation (to put it mildly), completely random non-sensical rambling/slurred speech by guy, girl wearing a sombrero, guy grabbing a FULL (and unwanted) handful of girls ass, my wife apologizing to her friend, guy getting booted from the bar for reasons unknown (although being a drunken asshole is probably one of them), guy trying to come back and getting nearly thrown down the 29 steps by the bounce, guy leaving his hat at the bar which had a house key in it for some reason, even though he clearly had pants with pockets on, guy wandering around downtown Green Bay by himself and nobody really caring that much, 6 of us eventually hopping in a cab and leaving guy downtown with Schmock.

We then got back to Mark's. Bear used the blow up mattress in the living room as a trampoline. I broke my kneecap on Bear's head. I passed out, and am still sick. Fun!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Family Night and Draft Countdown and Rambling Incoherentness

6 glorious days until OJSFA draft weekend begins! I may do a full preview later, but here is a short one:

-Drinking
-Video Games
-Lots and lots of fake (?) gayness
-Extreme inappropriateness at all times
-Questionable draft picks
-More Drinking
-Hangover

I've been bad about posting anything on here, because quite frankly, there isn't anything going on. The Brewers make me physically ill (can't wait for Brewers/Cubs on September 11th!!!), and there is nothing on television. Except for Friday Night Lights, which really deserves its own post, but I'm going to just start talking about it now.

FNL

Awesome, albeit short season. I hope it comes back. The ending this season was extremely predictable, but ultimately satisfying. I got goosebumps, not going to lie. Although I've never seen a high schooler make a 46 yard field goal, it is more realistic than a 15 yard pass that travels 75 yards in the air, and is caught by an offensive lineman or something. Anyone who doesn't watch this show is stupid. There I said it.

BUT I DIGRESS

Back to the point, now that football is upon us, I've finally got something to write about. Tonight is Family Night at Lambeau. It is just an open practice that they televise, and charge people $10 for. 70,000 people show up and get drunk on a hot summer night. Truthfully, it is pretty boring to watch. With that said, I will probably watch some of it. Football is football, even if it involves the quarterback wearing a red jersey. Not really much to preview. I predict Rodgers throws a bunch of TD passes and Todd Rundgren gets played alot. Oh, and I bet the Packers win. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the rookies play (practice). I've heard Mike Neal looks like Arnold Schwartzenagger (sp) circa the mid 80's (all natural I'm sure). I've heard undrafted FA RB Quinn Porter has been awesome. And Morgan Burnett is going to be starting, so I look forward to seeing him. I remember about 20 years ago, this thing used to be free, and took place in the afternoon. At that time it was basically the only chance I got to get into Lambeau every year, so my dad would take my brother and I. Then we would realize that it was 110 degrees, and we had no money for anything cool to drink so we would leave. I would not pay $10 for this.

MORE RAMBLING

-I'm glad the Packers extended DD. He is still really good, and he deserves it. Has shown no signs of slowing down.

-I had two Blueberry Ales from Fox River Brewing Company last night, with fresh blueberries floating in it. Delicious.

-He Who Shall Not Named and Chilly think I'm really, really stupid.