DVR Sports Etiquette

I'm writing this in honor of Twinkie ruining the U.S. semifinal hockey game with a text at 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I'm not totally blaming him, it is probably partially my fault for checking my phone when a message came through. But, we need to take what is currently a free for all, full of anarchy, and create rules for which we can all follow. And since I watch a tremendous amount of sports on DVR, and Bill Simmons has apparently not created a ruling on this, I feel I am the man to do it. Here are simple rules to make everyone not hate everyone else.

FOR THE PERSON WATCHING LIVE:

1) FIRE A WARNING SHOT: If you are going to send a text, email or call someone, always send a message before you send any info that would give clues on a game: " Are you watching the _______(insert team/league here)?" Do not follow up with something using exclamation points or bitching about said game until you get a yes reply.

2) CONSIDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES: If the game is on at 2 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, and it is a game that the person you are contacting will probably care about, there is a pretty good chance that person has recorded it. Don't assume anything.

3) DON'T BE A DICK: If you have been informed by the other person that he is definitely recording the game, leave them alone until you are given the go ahead.

FOR THE PERSON RECORDING

1) GIVE WARNING: Tell everyone you know who might try to contact you that you are recording it.

2) DON'T CHECK YOUR MESSAGES: If you aren't sure that everyone got the warning, don't check your texts until you are caught up. You don't have the right to be pissed if you could have avoided reading your messages. You probably aren't that important.

3) BE REALISTIC: If you are DVRing the Super Bowl, there better be a live birth, a funeral or a wedding (yours) going on. And don't expect to be kept in the dark for two days. I think a fair rule is 12 hours from the start of the recorded game unless you are out of the country or that death/birth/nuptial is happening. And in that case you better have your phone/Internets completely dark.

Between Twinkie and myself, we violated 4 of those rules yesterday. So I will share some blame.

DVR WARNING!!!

I have set the U.S.-Canada gold medal hockey game to record tomorrow because I'm not 100% positive I will be back from the disease infested drama fest at the fake waterpark. Please follow the above rules. Thank you.