Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
As this game goes through to commercial breaks, I'll be adding in thoughts I've had from previous innings. Top of the first, I find it hilarious how neither of the two dead beats that are spewing forth mindless drivel from the booth don't comment on the fact that Fielder straight up dropped the fucking ball on what very likely was the third out. Granted it was a wild pitch and that's not Fielder's fault, but it is his job to catch a ball thrown from his teammates in the infield. Bottom of 1, we would not have scored without that gift from Dumpster. Bottom of 3 Parra doubles to deep center from the leadoff spot and easily gets stranded for the rest of the game.
Top of the 5th, Reed Johnson slaps a single into right, I don't know if this is true or not, but you have to feel like a first baseman under 290 pounds gets to that. Sutcliffe and his nancy boy start talking about NL Cy Young candidates, after they get done with this they of course start talking about how awesome Dumpster's been tonight. They then proceed to show 3 Brewers in a row K'ing on neck high fastballs, FILTHY STUFF RICK, you fucking hack. Luckily our one solid infielder gets a rocket to end the inning.
Bottom half of the inning, Mike Cameron K's like a bitch. Man he has been playing just terrible in the last month, it's just been below average play after below average play. I'm very excited that his ass will be out the door come season end. Kendall socks one into left, he's been slumping a bit too, but his D is solid, he eats pitches and when he does get a hit, it's usually clutch and it's really just an added bonus for us. Of course as I say that, Kendall's 47 year old ass gets thrown out by about 14 steps, fucking stellar job Ned, right as Parra laces a triple to left center. I'll sleep comfortably tonight with the knowledge that he will be stranded yet again. Good to see the only person who can hit Dumpster tonight is our pitcher. COME ON DURHAM. Bleh, he grounds out to third, but I 100% blame Yost for this game not being tied right now. He habitually finds a way to lose runs in games.
Top of the 6th, brilliant insight from the booth, they claim Parra should have stayed at second instead of going for the triple with 2 outs because it didn't matter that much. OR, and here's a fucking thought, which I know these two are incapable of having without the Red Sox or Yankees playing, but he's a fucking pitcher. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there's no guarantee he scores from second from a single, while at the same time a single scores him from third no matter what. Erin Andrews claims that Yost told her we have the defense to win a championship. Toss me a bag of mushrooms and lock me in a bathroom for a week so I can get a taste of what's going on in his mind. Fuck Soriano. Theriot triples the bases empty 4-1 Scrubs. Sutcliffe once again mentions Parra's triple and claims that had a major factor in his demise here in the 6th. Or this was his 4th time through the lineup and I really don't know a pitcher that fares well in that situation? Nope! Had to be the triple. Villenueva comes in and looks sharp while striking out Lee, nicely done. We've lost the announcers for the night as they've taken up the topic of what they would have done at the ESPY's if they were rich or famous, life sucks fellas. They start talking about Parra again and how the reason that he started to lose it in the 6th was because of his pitch count... OR HE WAS FACING THE LINEUP FOR THE 4TH TIME TONIGHT. Finally in the 6th inning I am justified in my thinking that if Prince caught the throw after that wild pitch in the first, the runner may have been out, only 5 innings late guys, that's fantastic broadcasting. Walk, single scoring a run, terrible inning.
Bottom half of the inning, Hardy working the full count, then grounds to 3rd, at least he ate some pitches. Braun's first pitch, monster cut about a foot away from the ball, fouled off the next pitch, I'm predicting K. And I'm right. Once again we get the insider commentary that Parra's outing today was ruined by that triple. Let that be a lesson to pitchers everywhere, never ever take that extra base if its available to you. Fielder gets a single to left and barely beats the throw from the left fielder. That's not true of course, but you'd have to imagine if Soriano came up firing he'd at least make it look close. Hart's up now and it looks like he's been crying for the last 20 minutes. Hart strikes out swinging on a pitch that was dead center down the middle of the plate, are the Brewers going Black Sox on us? I can see it now, Kendall just freaking out behind the plate, what the fuck is going on guys!
Top of the 7th, 4th mention of Parra's triple affecting his pitching. And I jinxed Hardy as he loses control of a ball and gets Fukudomed. Just saw a Pujols highlight of him diving like 20 feet behind first and stabbing a ball for a sweet out, god I hate Prince Fielder. After a slight scare of walking the pitcher, Chucky gets the K. Good news on the political front, our 85 year old future Dark Lord of the Sith Emperor's biopsy came back cancer free. Soriano finally gets out, no damage in the 7th.
Bottom of 7th opens up with a HILARIOUS ESPN sign from a Cubs fan that says Enjoy Second Place Ned Yost. I don't think the Yost was necessary seeing as how he's the only Ned on the fucking field, god damn FIBs. Mike Cameron is batting .228, he is terrible. And he K's again, fantastic. Let's not talk about platooning him. Sutcliffe starts talking about Favre and one of them mentions how his legacy may have been tainted from the early retirement and then coming back to play. Then other one mentions that Jordan did that multiple times and his legacy is fine. Well lets get two things straight here, Jordan retired once, technically twice. The first time was less a retirement and more David Stern asking him to quit for two years instead of being suspended for 2 years for having a gambling problem. But the one time he did come back was for a completely different team and there was a gap in time between the two seasons, that's a lot different. Oh the inning's over, went by so quick I didn't notice.
Riske's in to lead off the 8th and immediately gives up a single, I'm predicting a 4 run 8th for the Scrubs. Samardja apparently asked what position Sutcliffe used to play after he got done interviewing him before a game, that's good stuff. This gets mentioned 3 or 4 more times before the inning is over.
Ok I've completely lost interest in this game and Sutcliffe's blatant homerisms, I'm giving up on this for the night, good night and good fight.
Had to come back for this one, Sutcliffe and his crony claim that Hardy was an all star this year while they try and sing his praises. Then Hardy proceeds to K by watching 3 straight pitches after a 3-0 count, weak sauce.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Weeks: 6/13, HR, 5RBI, BB, 0SB
So far, not a really fair fight, since Weeks has been busy "achieving" at the major league level. He has been great this week though.
I am still cleaning up semen from CC's game last night. Easily the best stretch for a Brewer starter in my lifetime. Hopefully Benny can sweep the Cards tonight.
What if the Crew actually pulled off a trade for Houston Street? Not the greatest closer, but would dominate as a setup man. THEN maybe we could get rid of Mota.
-Orenthal James Simpson Football Association Update:
The following three guys were kept by the O.G. Team from Stoughton, WI: LDT, A-Peter, Carson Palmer. WOW. Are you fucking kidding me? Cobra, you are fucked in the ass when you play him.
Right now I would have to say that team and Bear's team are the odds on favorites.
I just bought a fantasy magazine and am in the process of putting together a master(bater) list.
"On Monday, Yost announced that any player who attempted to devour another, no matter how delicious they seemed to appear, would be subject to disciplinary action."
"And as a provisional measure, we've gotten Ray Durham from the Giants in the hopes that both Prince and C.C. will think he's a giant ham and leave one another alone."
Good stuff, good stuff
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
ATTENTION TOP 10 GOLFERS IN THE WORLD:
You are losing badly to a guy that wears Depends on the course, drinks a cup of Metamucil to start his day, and takes Viagra to nail his out-of-his league, hot, ex-tennis star.
Anyways, my hats off to the old man. It is impressive to golf that well in a Monsoon, especially with old brittle bones. It would really cool to see the ghost of Greg Norman hoisting the Jug (or whatever the fuck it is called).
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I did notice on one of the tickers that Tim Lincecum was scratched from the lineup last night after getting out of the hospital earlier in the day with flu like symptoms and dehydration. Hey Tim, at least when I pull that bullshit after a long night of drinking I'm only missing a shitty day at work, you on the other hand missed an appearance in your first All-Star game. I hope you at least got syphilis from some NYC alley skank.
Every All-Star, Pro Bowl, whatever game, is a joke. I have no ideas to make them more exciting, and I don't know that there is without compromising the having fun part of game. I just never can seem to amp myself up too much for these things, ah well.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I am going to breathe a deep sigh SERENITY NOW!!!, and change the topic here for a second while I watch televised batting practice (I mean, who doesn't like to hear Berman scream "Back, back, back, back, GONE!, 400 times?) to bring forth a delimma I am facing tomorrow.
See, tomorrow is MLB's All-Star game, where my current favorite Brewer (Braun) and one of my other favorites (Big Ben) are starring. Big Ben is getting the start, which is incredible for a Brewer to be a starting pitcher in my lifetime.
Also, tomorrow, NCAA Football '09 is coming out. Which I am rather excited about.
I need to decide what to do with my precious free time. A game like this doesn't come out every day. But the All-Star game is the only real all-star game, and is usually entertaining. I realize the game will be there the next day, but there is nothing like busting open that package and playing a game for about 6 straight hours, and staying up way past your bedtime (which today is about 10). Also, I am pretty worked up about flying out of work as early as I can to get it.
I am leaning towards watching the All-Star game until Sheets and Braun are gone (which should be about the 3rd inning), playing at least one game, then hope to split-screen it for the last inning or two.
If I was Favre I would tell my boss to fucking pay me to take the day off to play the game, then I would fly to NY to see the game while playing on the plane, then I would take a shit on my bosses desk on Wednesday to thank him. And I'm not bitter.
"According to Fox representatives, Favre said he did not want to be traded because that would cede control to the Packers."
Oh really Brett? You don't want to cede control of your football career to the Packers? Hmmm well then maybe you shouldn't have signed a contract with them. They paid you 13 million dollars a year for the last god knows how many years and because they did that you've become their property on the football field. It's really just that simple. My god he is being an irrationally whiny bitch about this whole situation. If he does nothing to change his stance from here on out, he's ruined his legacy as a Packer in my opinion. He's the next Javon Walker. Or did Favre already forget about what he said during Walker's holdout 3 years ago?
Good thing the internet doesn't forget Brett. You hypocritical baby.
""Nowadays you're seeing more and more guys pulling that stunt," Favre said. "If guys continue to do that and are successful getting away with it, then I'll be gone, but I think the game will be ruined. My reaction to Javon's situation was, 'Here we go again.'
"Javon has tremendous potential. We got to see some of that last year. The sky's the limit for that guy, and I'd be the first to defend him, but he's going about it the wrong way. What happened to honoring your contract and saying, 'Let's work as a team to see if we can get this done?' Why not go about it that way?
"Maybe I'm old-school, but I always thought you honor a contract. Sure, sometimes guys pass you up in salary, and maybe it's a lesser player, but it's all based on what a team has as far as value in that person. "I sure hope the Packers don't give into him," Favre said."
You're right Brett, I sure hope the Packers don't give into him.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
There seem to be a group of people out there, infesting the state of Wisconsin, and wasting Internet bandwidth and the air I breathe. These fucking useless assholes are not only wrong, but they are stupid. I more than anyone appreciate the 1st amendment, and believe that you can generally say anything you want. So I can't begrudge these people from thinking and saying what they want. But they couldn't be further from right.
These stupid fuckholes seem to think that because they own shares of the Packers that they somehow have the right to control personnel decisions. This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. They are saying ridiculous shit like "we are calling an emergency stockholder meeting", and "Last time we checked, it is a publicly owned franchise, and not owned by Ted Thompson." FUCK! I mean the sheer stupidity is incredible. Look, you are right, Thompson doesn't own the team. But here are the facts:
FACT: Thompson wanted Favre back all along, and bent over backwards to try to get him to come back.
FACT: Favre is still welcome on the team (not really, but technically)
FACT: Favre is the one who doesn't want to come back here.
FACT: Ownership and personnel decisions aren't the same thing. Some asshole that owns 1 share of Apple doesn't get to decide whether their top designer should be allowed back after he quits. The FUCKING person that makes personnel decisions does. Who in this case is Ted Thompson.
FACT: These idiots don't understand how a) a corporate structure works and b) how the Packers corporate structure works. The way it works is that the shareholders elect a board of directors, who elect and executive board, who hires a President/CEO (Mark Murphy) who hires a GM (Thompson) who "hires" coaches and players. In the case of the Packers, the shares aren't publiclly traded, and I'm not aware that they even truly elect people for the board. I believe that the current board nominates, and the shareholders "cast a vote" to put them in. But I don't think Dickface McGee can nominate himself, because otherwise it would happen all the time. My uncle Dan would be president. The people that end up on the board are rich, successful business people and other important people in the city. The shares aren't really shares at all, they are really just a fundraising mechanism, and a cool thing to hang on the wall. Shareholders get no profits, they get the privilege of helping the TEAM stay in GB. They don't have any say in anything really. Essentially, by trying to stage a revolt against the TEAM, they are saying that one player is more important than the desires and intelligence of the very people that the franchise that has been around for nearly 90 years, has found fit to hire.
So fucking find something better to do with your time. Or give me your fucking season tickets. This is just so incredibly frustrating. AND FAVRE DOESN'T FUCKING EVEN WANT TO PLAY HERE!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
I am going to the website mentioned, which I won't post here because perhaps these assholes are just trying to make money on the rest of the morons (which for that I guess I give them a bunch of credit), but I refuse to post to them; and I'm going to call them out as dipshits and tell those stupid fucks to give me thier tickets when the Pack does the right thing.
In reality, we probably would be better off with Favre than Rodgers. But the way dickhead went about it, there is no way Thompson could let that happen.
A few other things: I would like to thank ESPN for making Thomspon look as creepy as possible and Favre as innocent as possible on the front page right now. Clearly you can see who's side they are on.
For a very good run-down of what a fucktaster Favre has been since the NFC championship game was over, and how his claim that the Packers don't love him is fucking bullshit and he's got some type of complex that only Peter King can fix, check this out on JSOnline. Thompson has said all of the right things, whether or not he means them.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
My message to that 70.6%: When the Packers do the right thing (they better), Put your money where your mouths are fuckfaces. Don't fucking show up. Don't pretend you love the team. Don't come around to church in your Favre jerseys and your Packer Zubaz. Fucking stand outside and protest, and give your season tickets to me. Clearly you are Favre fans and not Packer fans.
Friday, July 11, 2008
In fact, team brass went as far as chartering a jet to fly to Mississippi to make it official later that week. The agreement was that the NFL's all-time leading passer would return for the year but help make it easier and palatable for Rodgers, who would have to wait another season to take the helm.
The group was set for this huge move when Favre suddenly phoned the team two days before the meeting was to take place and informed McCarthy that he had changed his mind yet again and was staying retired. While team officials were stunned by Favre's reversal, they made the decision to move on and draft his replacement, a move that Favre at the time understood. The Packers selected two quarterbacks in April's draft, Louisville's Brian Brohm in the 2nd round and LSU's Matt Flynn in the 7th round. But if he decides to come back, it is not the organizations fault, it is Favre's. )
"Manager Ned Yost said he voted so much his “eyes got crossed two or three times” from staring at the screen. Kristina Hart voted thousands of times and Attanasio voted around 50 times, but his wife, Debbie, voted about 700 times."
The dumb fucker couldn't even see straight, he probably didn't even turn in a lineup for those 3 games, he just let Simmons take care of that while the "big boys" were busy voting on the interweb.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Bush (W, 5-8) 8.0 IP, 3H, 1R, 0ER, 0BB, 13K
Seriously, this is what I dealt with on a daily basis.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
PS. CC yesterday?= Meh. He was alright. Not spectacular, but he has a way about him that makes his K's dynamic.
PPS. FUCK the Cubs. I hope Rich Harden gets his arm eaten off by a fucking billy goat.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
-Three teams have named their keepers so far in the marathon OJSFA draft. The results so far:
Team from St. Paul (Spider Pigs): Frank Gore, Ryan Grant, Granmama
My Brother (Shaun Alexander): T.O., Reggie Wayne, Joe Addai
Me (The White Broncos): Marshawn Lynch, Tony Simpson-Romo, Marion the Barbarian
No real surprises. The defending champ really didn't have anything else on his team. McNabb somehow taped together his knees and led him to a title last year. He did make Steve Smith available. A little surprisingly, my brother (who's team name is Shaun Alexander) didn't keep Shaun Alexander. He also had to let go T.J. Whosyomamma. He was desperately trying to unload a receiver for a RB, but I beat him to the punch.
I had a semi-tough decision. I ended up setting loose Braylon Edwards, Andre Johnson, WELKAH and Reggie Bush. I had ZERO repeat keepers. People laugh about Reggie Bush, but he had over 70 catches last year. And he is fucking Kim Kardashian.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
2006: Tom Brady/Andre Johnson for Shaun Alexander
2007: Torry Holt for Lawrence Maroney
What the fuck happened to Guillermo Mota? Did Derrick Turnbow paint himself black? I'm not very happy about it.
Good news is there is a 10 game homestand against three shitty teams coming up. Anything less than 7-3 is a failure.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I wish I was the guy above right now. If I have to hear ONE more FUCKING rumor that Favre is coming back, I might be that guy. Look, I love Favre about as much a man can love another (I know that I say that quite a bit), but I'm serious. He is maybe the best player in Packer history, but certainly the best in my lifetime (narrowly edging Vince Workman). That being said, as I told a friend earlier, I am boarding a plane to Mississippi right now, along with my good pal A-Rodg to choke the life out the former #4. I don't know if the rumors are true, and they seem to be pretty vague. That, and Favre allegedly told a paper in Mississippi that it is "Just a rumor." But that doesn't make it better for a man that lives in the greater Green Bay area, when I have to listen to this shit. I nearly cried when Favre retired, but there was also a sense of relief in a way, because then I didn't need to stress out every offseason, and I didn't have to go into every season with extremely high expectations. He finally appeared to let go, and A-Rodg was given the keys, and came out of his shell. Now every fuckhead on earth is talking about this big decision that the Pack allegedly has to make. My opinion: There is no decision. He wants to come back, let him. But let him go the way of Joe Montana and do it someplace else. What kind of message does that send the rest of the team if you do whatever Favre wants? What would happen to A-Rodg? There are way too many potential negatives here. I don't want to see Favre play for anyone else, but at this point, I would have a hard fucking time dealing with him playing for the Packers after he ripped my heart out 4 months ago.....unless we won the Super Bowl, then all would be forgiven. But the chances of that are slim. What if time catches up to Favre, they kick A-Rodg in the nuts, and we end up with NO QB in two years? There are too many what-ifs, but I am just SO sick and fucking tired of this shit.
Ultimately, the decision is up to T.T. If he doesn't believe in A-Rodg, then go ahead. Or if you think Brohm is better, then fine I guess. I trust Thompson with my life, unless he needs to be counted on to spend my money, but that is another story. If he decides that, so be it, but that doesn't mean I won't be bitter.
That shouldn't be a topic of conversation for most of training camp, thus distracting the team from doing what they were supposed to be doing, playing football, right?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
God damn I can't wait for this season to start, just for Rodgers quotes alone. I personally welcome Aaron Rodgers as our new overlord and commander... and resident facial hair guru.
When I begged to be added to contribute to this blog, Juicelaw was posting something nearly every 30 minutes and was not bashful of posting cool words like the word "FUCK" throughout the day at work. However, now he has taken a new position at a stuffy law firm (see picture), and understandably so, is a bit nervous of checking, much less contributing to the blog throughout the day in fear that someone might write the word FUCK in giant letters and cost him his job. I respect his position, but it is very disappointing for someone like me who hardly ever has clients any more, doesn't have an office internet policy and likes to frequent the blog in search of Juice's patented comedy and sarcasm. Like I said, I understand, but I am deeply disappointed.
On another note, I just got a letter from a bigshot attorney in a big town close to here. One of those "it was a pleasure to meet you at the CLE the other day, if you are ever interested in going to lunch" type of letters. I think (hope) he is possibly trying to recruit me to his firm. Either that or he is gay and is trying to seduce me. As long as I get a different job, I'm gay, umm, I mean game.
My on base percentage is now .982 in our slow-pitch co-ed league and my batting average is roughly .850. First game I was 1-2 with a single and reached on an error. Second game I was 3-3 with a single, inside the park home run, a triple and 5 RBIs. That's right boys, GLORY DAYS. And yes, I understand how sad my athletic career has become that I have to brag about slow-pitch softball on an internet blog.
Butt-stink really choked in the clutch last night. What were the odds that he would ground out to the shortstop to end the game? 1:1?