Monday, October 6, 2008

The Playoff Experience and Douchebags Who "Tailgate" to Get It

On the whole, it was a very cool experience Saturday night at Game 3.  The Brewers ended up losing the series, which sucks, but I don't think anyone can honestly say the season was a disappointment, after the first playoff appearance in 26 years....And at least we won one more game than the "prohibitive favorite" Chicago Cubs.  Good riddance you piles of shit, along with all your fans.  I have some pretty cool pictures of Brewers drunk in public that I'll post later that are allegedly from the clinching celebration last week.  Before Saturday's highlights, I would just like to point out that I am revising my 10-2 Badger record to somewhere around 5-7.  Penn St. is going to kick the shit out of them this week.  I missed the whole game Saturday, but they apparently aren't very good.  Also, I would like to point out that there won't be any playoff anguish over the Packers, because I don't see them getting there with their defensive injuries and offensive line issues.  There is only one win that I would call guaranteed the rest of the way, and that is at home v. Detroit.  I don't have alot of confidence that they will go into Seattle and beat a team that just lost by 38 last week.  Atlanta is not very good, Matt Ryan is a rookie, and we made him look like Joe fucking Montana.  Of course everyone blames Rodgers which is utterly ridiculous.  He threw the pick, which was a horrible throw, but we would have had to punt anyway, and its not like we did anything to stop Atlanta from doing whatever they wanted anyway.  A Rodg gutted through obvious pain, threw for 300+ yds, 3TD and one unfortunate pick.  He really should take very little blame for this.
So Saturday, my brother and I made the trek down to Milwaukee.  We had no designs on tailgating (two person tailgates are latently homosexual) so we figured, we get down there an hour or so early and we should be fine.  The game was 5:30, and we were coming into town about 4, when the big Amber alert sign on I-94 let us know that the parking lot at Miller Park was sold out.  We found this kind of odd as we had both been at numerous sellouts before and never had this happen before.  We were told to park at State Fair Park, which is a few miles away, and take the shuttle bus over to the park.  The traffic was crazy at the exit to the Park.  It took us about 45 minutes to go 1/2 mile to get into the parking lot, because whoever the geniuses were that came up with this alternate parking plan, opened one fucking entrance, for one lane of traffic, and one person collecting money, for approximately 30,000 people.  Of course as we are waiting in traffic, we nearly get clipped by a bus who came flying down the ramp of standstill traffic at about 50 mph.  When we got next to the Park, cars were careening over the curb and grass into the lot to bypass payment, and the wait.  I can only hope that those assholes were shot on site.  Once we finally got in and parked, we were directed to stand in line to wait for a bus.  There were probably around 5,000 people in line by the time we got there.  And there were FOUR fucking school buses going back and forth.  We didn't get on a bus until about 5:45.  The bus goes through town to a hospital and stops.  This hospital is about a 1/2 mile wooded walk to the stadium.  As we were briskly walking up the hill, we could hear the roar in the stadium, that turned out to be a Billy Hall walk.  We finally arrived in our seats just in time to see Fielder's sac fly in the Bottom of the 1st.  Our seats were literally in the top row of the stadium.  We could touch the wall of Miller Park.  Other than being high up, they weren't too bad though.
After the game, we walk through what we called "the rape jungle" as in: it was a half mile trek through a pitch black forest in the middle of the night, with no police presence, in a city that has alot of crime, where there are a shitload of drunk people wandering around and we are pretty certain that there were no fewer than six dozen rapes and murders in that forest.  Suddenly, we come upon a large congregation of people, which turns out to be the fucking line of 30,000 people waiting for a bus.  This time it was about an hour and a half wait.  A dude near us in line said he got to the stadium at 3:15 and the lot was full.  The lot OPENED at 2:30, and there were 3/4 of the stadiums paid ticket holders waiting in line for a bus because they couldn't park near the stadium.  Which means there were probably 20,000 cocksuckers without tickets, taking in "the playoff experience" by getting drunk next to their car on a slab of concrete.  I don't know how to say this so I will just say it:  You people are fucking morons.  Go to an April game against Pittsburgh to tailgate if you want the "experience".  The "experience" outside was no fucking different at all.  You paid $20 voluntarily to park your car next to a stadium to listen to a game on the radio.  You could have done it for free in your back yard, you stupid asshole.  Either buy a fucking ticket, or watch it at home.
Highlights of the game (other than the win):
- The drunk dude next to us screaming at people to "stand the fuck up you fat fucks, its been 26 fucking years!", during a pitching change.
-The dude in front of us that said "Oh no!" every time a Phillie bat made contact with a pitched baseball.  Every foul pop up, every single, everything.
-The drunk chick next to me that kept hitting me in the head with her "rally towel" (which, I feel was stolen from Minnesota and I feel dirty about.  But I didn't get because we were so fucking late), even though there was an empty seat between us.
- The dude with the hot girlfriend in front of us wearing a short-sleeved, white, dress shirt to a fucking baseball game.
- The drunk screaming dude calling Corey Hart a "stupid fucking redneck".
-The annoying bitch next to us in line for the bus who read, word for word, to my brother and I, an entire text message conversation she had with some dude, who for some godforsaken reason wanted to have sex with her.  Our responses (besides rolling our eyes): My brother: "So are you going to fuck him?" Annoying Bitch: "No."  Me: "I would fuck him."  Mind you this chick was not at all attractive, and she then went into a story about how some dude took her to see a Brewer-Met game at Shea and she fucked him.  I puked in my mouth.
-The crowd booing loudly when it was revealed that first pitch on Sunday was at the same time as the Packer game.
-The crowd chanting "Let's go Dodgers!" in the concourse after the game.
-The dude who had to use to hands to walk along a railing, playing best man to see who would drive home.
-The bus driver on the way to the game, playing some pop radio station instead of the Brewer playoff game that had already started, and that she was driving people to.  And not giving a fuck because it was her bus.
-The two of us stumbling into some shithole truck stop to buy beef jerky, chips and soda like we were all high, because we missed the last exit between Milwaukee and Fond Du Lac with food in it and hadn't eaten supper.
-Me not falling asleep and careening into a ditch between Oshkosh and Green Bay at 1 am.

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